Between

Oh crumpets, this is fabulous. I can't for the life of me remember how it came to be on my WL but wow. It sent shivers down my spine, firstly because the beginning really reminded me of the start of a book I wrote called Walker (which got its Authonomy gold star a while back). But, much as I hate to say it, this is MUCH better. Then I was put in mind (naturally enough I suppose) of Diana Gabaldon - the obvious Scottish connection.
I keep a pad by me for notes, for things that snag, but it stayed quite empty for this. I raced through the first four chapters and would have kept reading quite happily were this not on screen.
It just has such warmth and depth and emotion. When she realises she won't ever have a baby and when she feels sorry for Aiden for having to take babies away was quite heart-rending.
I can't see the last category you have it under....wondering if it might be YA. THis reads like the perfect YA story - yearning, romantic, supernatural....
Ah heck, who cares? It's beautifully done and I seriously hope you get this published as I;d love to read it in proper paper form! Backed.

this is the most amazing story! i loved it. i was hoping that she would introduce aiden to the father. that would have been interesting to say the least.

you did have a few minor comma mistakes, but i can't remember where because i read all 37 chapters in one go!

me

I've just made it through chapter six...I LOVE this. I usually stick to my YA romance, but this really pulled me in as not being a "typical" romance, but one with deep emotion right from the beginning - from the wreck to her first encounter with Aiden (who is a hottie!!) - I loved the line where he said that the angel told him he would get to heaven when the one came for him and he would just know...early on you know that he is going to be able to be with her or at least his soul will be able to go on - that made me sigh in relief. I hated it when she started to leave him and he called her back - because I wasn't sure that they would have the happy ending that I do cherish in my books - wonderfully written - even the battle scene had me right there!!! Sincerely, April

Fair Critters List F

Hi Cyndi,
I LOVE it! It remindes me a bit of Stephani Meyers style, although the stories are so different, the way they are told are equally good. I don't like to admit it, but i had a couple of tears when i got to the bit where she realises she's dead, and she has to watch the boty in the car stuggling to get someone to help her. I felt like i was standing there with her. The scotch man sounds VERY tasty! He's definately going to keep the female readers interested! :-) (Again much like Meyer does with Edward) The emotions that come through him after he kisses her are so touching, and show real pain.

The story is very different, which is always good, but the thing that stands out to me is the style, and the high standard of polishing that the MS has been through. Im sure you've been told this before, but i could easily belive that this was already published. I have only read 3 chaps for the purpose of the fair crit, but i am planning on reading some more when i get time, just to see where you take us with these two!

Absolutely amazing quality, and i can't understand why you haven't been published yet.

Wishing you all the best, and plan to tell everyone to come and have a look!

Cecil :-)

It's rare that I find something so honestly enjoyable. Your descriptions flowed smoothly, well-formulated and concise, and your characterisation was rich and poignant. You carry the reader superbly through the highs and lows of this piece, moving us along with the characters and really making us feel Lindsey's battles and strengths.

Backed with absolute pleasure.
Abi xxx

I just finished reading this book in paperback. To begin with, it seemed like pure escapism, but then developed into a deeply moving and emotional journey. I suggest to anyone looking at this that they find this book on Amazon, and buy to keep forever. Very highly recommended.

OMG l love the idea of this book! Just your short hook alone would be enough for me to take this book to the cash register without even looking at anything else! But then, it was well written and interesting! So much the better!

I love anything about Scottish highlanders and your premise is super unique and you draw your reader right in!

What else does any writer need? A good hook. Great writing. This should be an easy sell to any agent.

Highly starred. Thanks for a great read.

- Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

Hi Cyndi, Great writing and an original and fascinating story - I enjoyed reading the first few chapters and will come back for more. You write with energy and fluidity. On my WL, and I'll back this when I have a space. Best wishes, Vall (Midwyf)

Cyndi, this is not what I was expecting when I read your profile. What a chapter. You ease us in with a scene I'm sure we've all played before and then slammed us with a surprise. The dialogue was great to get us to the accident and the narrative at the end very descriptive. Well done.

If you have a chance, would you take a look at a chapter or two of my book, A PLACE IN LIFE, and let me know what you think? I'd appreciate your comments.

Many thanks.

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Hi Cyndi,
I've read six chapters so far, and you've weaved a very original and enticing story. I think most females would be okay about entering heaven, if such a one as Aiden was our guide.
I like the inclusion of his Scottish heritage and you evoked the battle scene vividly, so that it painted the scene for the reader without overdosing on descriptive detail. Something that isn't easy to do.
I 'm a sucker for a good romance and I like the tone and pace of your writing. I will watchlist and star rate for now, and come back to read more.
Cheers Jacoba

The first chapters has me hooked. I like how you throw us as readers within the first chapter - doesn't let us get comfortable. I am excited to finish!

I backed this last night, but was having issues commenting, so I gave up and went to bed.

This is fabulous. You are the type of writer I love. You focus on the characters and giving them depth and emotion. It is an beautiful story, both familiar and different, if that makes sense. But it is the characters that drew me into the story. I only read five chapters yesterday, but I am eager to read the rest today. Nothing stuck out to me as glaringly jarring in what I read, but I'll let you know if I come across anything.

Thanks for the read and good luck with this.

Cyndi, this is truly delightful. I'm so glad it's complete. I can't add anything constructive - it's all good.

I read Chapters 1 to 4, and then jumped to Chapters 36 and 37. You've created a world between here and heaven, which allows you to do pretty much whatever you want to do. This is a dream come true for any writer! Well done. Particularly skillful is grounding all of your MCs experiences in the first person, so it's not just a fantasy, but an experienced reality for her. This is really not my genre or type of book that I'd ordinarliy read, but your writing flows quite smoothly and I like the way you've differentiated your characters 'voices' by making Aiden Scottish.

I do apologise for taking so long to comment. I tend to read a little and back a book, then go back and read until I feel I have something to comment on. Best of luck with your work, it's unique and deserving of further attention.

Q.

I've read six chapters so far but will have to read on. I love the story and the way it is written. The characters and the dialogue between them are totally believable, despite the unreal storyline. But you make the storyline believable too. I have really enjoyed what I've read so far and will continue to consume it to the end.

OK, you've just managed to tie up some evenings - not a good time, have to drive 12 hours Saturday to take my daughter back to college. Want to read more for sure! Backing.

Camille
Curse of the Golden Fly

Love the concept! I'm commenting on the first two chapters.

Here's the thing: the storyline is strong, the characters, while I'm still just getting to know them, seem to have a distinctive voice. The concept is unique and I'm looking forward to coming back when I can to find out what in the heck happens. :-)

For me, what's missing is sensory perception.

First person is so damn hard to write because it comes from within. Trying to tell the story through the eyes of another means that you must tell it through their experience. If I burn my finger on the stove, I hear the sizzle of flesh as it hits the burner, searing pain shoots up my arm. The bitter taste of bile rises in the back of my throat as I watch the tender flesh blister. I shake as I run to the faucet, cursing that it's not cold enough. I don't just jerk my hand away and run to the faucet. Know what I mean?

I think we miss an opportunity at the beginning of chapter two because the five senses haven't been brought in.

Ex.
"The air was unilke anything I've ever experienced."

If you haven't experienced it, neither can we. It would read so much stronger if the air was like honey, roses, the the innocent scent of a child....anything that brings the reader in, that allows them to live through the eyes of the character.

What was her reaction to waking up? Did she sob? moan? Did she question that she wasn't in pain? What did she hear, taste, smell?

You wrote:
HIs arm came around me in a tight embrace and I cried in his chest.

That's what happens, but how did that feel?

For me crying is painful, literally. My throat gets all tight and I fight not to lose control, I bury sobs deep down and choke and sputter. I bury my face in whatever's close, refusing to let anyone see. Oprah once deemed it as the ugly cry. If you can describe that, make the reader feel it...now, you're cooking with grease!

The great thing is you've got a rockin' concept with incredible characters that leave me wanting to know what happens. That's the hardest part, and you've already got it, but I want to immerse myself in it, I want to drown in the emotions it pulls from me, I want to be drained, spent, not ready to pick up another book for a few days because this love story has touched me so deeply that I know I'll be disappointed in what comes after.

Hope this helps. I'm definitely a fan of your incredible imagination, and I'm coming back when I get the chance to finish up the story! Twitter me and I'll DM you my email if you want to chat!

Oh crumpets, this is fabulous. I can't for the life of me remember how it came to be on my WL but wow. It sent shivers down my spine, firstly because the beginning really reminded me of the start of a book I wrote called Walker (which got its Authonomy gold star a while back). But, much as I hate to say it, this is MUCH better. Then I was put in mind (naturally enough I suppose) of Diana Gabaldon - the obvious Scottish connection.
I keep a pad by me for notes, for things that snag, but it stayed quite empty for this. I raced through the first four chapters and would have kept reading quite happily were this not on screen.
It just has such warmth and depth and emotion. When she realises she won't ever have a baby and when she feels sorry for Aiden for having to take babies away was quite heart-rending.
I can't see the last category you have it under....wondering if it might be YA. THis reads like the perfect YA story - yearning, romantic, supernatural....
Ah heck, who cares? It's beautifully done and I seriously hope you get this published as I;d love to read it in proper paper form! Backed.

Dear Cyndi
this is a beguiling read for sure, just loved it
and just wanted to let you know, now finished.
I have already commented and backed your book a while ago, but cannot see the backing anywhere. So i am taking the time to back it again because I believe your book is WORTH IT

BEST OF LUCK
Denise
The Letter

Dear Cyndi
this is a beguiling read for sure, just loved it
and just wanted to let you know, now finished.
I have already commented and backed your book a while ago, but cannot see the backing anywhere. So i am taking the time to back it again because I believe your book is WORTH IT

BEST OF LUCK
Denise

Hey Cyndii

Wonderful pitch! The story is great. I would love the idea when I pass on that someone would escort me to heaven. You have a great writing style and descriptive pattern that I do not see too often on this site. I am a reader and not a writer. My partner Craig Ellis who has a book on this account and site called "The Sun and the Saber". Pls check it out. I will get him to back your book when he comes back from the store. I had to hurry and get on the net while he was away. We have only one computer.

Keep up the good work. Keep writing!
Vi

Great Story!
Riveting car crash. Dynamic ing chapter 2 as you alternate paramedics at the scene and Lindsey & Aiden.

Awesome narrative.
Fantastic. Great characters.
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

Aye! Now this is a true love story... loved it ... sorry it took so long...but it was worth every lost hour of sleep! Best of luck... backed again...

Ana

Great premise and polished writing make this a fabulous read. Backed with pleasure.
Joanna Carter
Fossil Farm

I've just made it through chapter six...I LOVE this. I usually stick to my YA romance, but this really pulled me in as not being a "typical" romance, but one with deep emotion right from the beginning - from the wreck to her first encounter with Aiden (who is a hottie!!) - I loved the line where he said that the angel told him he would get to heaven when the one came for him and he would just know...early on you know that he is going to be able to be with her or at least his soul will be able to go on - that made me sigh in relief. I hated it when she started to leave him and he called her back - because I wasn't sure that they would have the happy ending that I do cherish in my books - wonderfully written - even the battle scene had me right there!!! Sincerely, April

Ch 1 Awkward use of words. I hate when someone says that a story needs work without being specific. This first chapter is an indication that the story needs some work. The character does 'kissing practice'? The couple are able to ignore the embarassment they have both experienced and just move on? The girl is able to remember the details of the accident (probably unlikely), although to give credit, the description was good. Just a bit sophmoric. And these are my opinions but the first chapter is important and needs to be sharp.

this is the most amazing story! i loved it. i was hoping that she would introduce aiden to the father. that would have been interesting to say the least.

you did have a few minor comma mistakes, but i can't remember where because i read all 37 chapters in one go!

me

Wow. Well. Succinct and sweet, with the pacing smooth. It's a quick, brutal, but brilliant beginning - anything longer I think would have detracted from the real story - Aiden and Lindsey.

Scottish accent is nicely done. I have real trouble with accents, but this is done just right. I've only read to chapter 5 but I will keep reading, to see how this pans out.

Well done!

Esme C
'The Summoner'

Hi Cyndi, I came across your book on the forum, and cannot believe I have missed it before. I absolutely love your book cover and your pitch promises a wholesome good story.
I have backed it with pleasure
Helen

Hi Cyndi

Amazing, the first few paragraphs draw you in, the description is exquisite throughout the first chapter, the pace flows to a tee. The awkwardness of Lindsey as Ravi says I love you reminds me of past experiences, when my love is not reciprocated to the other. Descending into calm, Joe Cockers 'Love is beautiful' is a perfect choice to draw the reader away from what happens next (Do you use others songs to deflect or enhance the mood of the scene?) Then an unrealised death, dreamlike but then thrown into fantasy as Aiden declares 'No I'm not an angel. I'm what ye might call a transporter. I'm here to take ye from earth to heaven'. The romance between Lindsey and Aiden is sure to come off (Lindseys attraction is made very clear) but I suspect there are unexpected twists and turns on the way.

Kind regards

Graham

Hi Cyndi. I will confess, I'm not typically an historical fiction or a fantasy man, but your story is highly engaging and beautifully written. I'm not sure why a certain other Authonomite decided to rip you recently, and I do not agree with their observations/criticism. There is nothing wrong with fine detail and background to boster a story, especially if you don't go on and on about it, which you don't.

God is in the details!

You are on my shelf.

Backed,

G
Notes on an Orange Burial (a tragicomedy)

Cyndi--
BETWEEN weaves a wonderful tapestry of two of my favorite story elements -- fantasy & romance. Your sense of place is vivid as you transport us from modern day to a strange new place. It takes great skill to move between life & death, sadness & joy, love & acceptance. Beautiful story. All the best, Karen (SUMMER OF FIRE)

whoa there. Talk about an explosive first chapter =D
I'm short of time, but hopefully when I get back from vacation I can give this book the time it deserves.
~Zero, No Title Needed

Wow.... a great and moving romantic story told so beautifully. I hope to read this in its entirety when it is published... I'd happily spend my pennies on this book from the likes of Amazon.
Good luck Cyndi!
Best wishes
Suzy (Raven)

Hi Cyndi

I read C1 and C6

Chapter one is near perfect to my eyes.

'Even though those' sounds a little tongue twister-ish. Maybe 'Even though they'

Love the 'bug in its fist' line.

Chapter 6 -

'...who was to be joining us, hit stormy weather' comma

At the end of each section of the earls speech, you have the men's reaction/curses etc. These could possibly go on to a new line.

'who won't pledge allegiance' I think 'will not' instead of 'won't' would sound more authentic.

'I was surprised they didn't turn on one another in the heat of the moment'. Maybe better if ' I wouldn't have been surprised if they had turned on....'

'The chief(s) of each clan stepped forward one by one' should be plural.

The patterns on the men's kilts identified them as belonging to the same clan' This is a little confusing. Do you mean the chiefs' kilts or the the men within each clan? Maybe this bit of information could go somewhere else.

You say 'including the Spaniards who had come to fight' maybe expand on this a little. Why were they here too? Or maybe this is explained in a previous chapter.

This whole section is excellent. Inspiring and atmospheric.

'I was surprised at how much they looked alike' They were brothers. Would she be that surprised? Maybe, instead, 'I smiled to myself at how alike they looked' or something along those lines!

'The Earl said coldly' You don't need 'coldly' here. Your dialogue is strong enough to convey his tone.

'... and faint cries could be heard wafting down the staircase.' could be better as ' and faint cries wafted down the staircase.'

'...and nodded solemnly.' Again, the 'solemnly is redundant here.

'The waiting was heart wrenching...' heart wrenching sounds a little cliched. Maybe something like 'intolerable' would be better.

'into synch' I'd write it without the 'h', but maybe that's a Brit thing.

'like a mama cat' 'mama' sounds too American. 'mother cat' or 'she cat'.

God, I'm a sucker for a good love story! I'm getting goosebumps now.

Wow, Cyndi. Let me know when this is available in paperback. I'll buy it.

Kami x

Very unique storyline, Cyndi--put it on my watchlist so I can read it. All the best, Karen

Reads easily as the action is described with fluency and style...this should be popular with young adult readers
Good luck
Stewart

Hi Cyndi
I enjoyed the romance between Aiden and Lindsey in chapter fourteen. It's always fun when the MC's finally get together. I think you could flesh it out more to appeal to the romantic crowd. If that's the target audience. It seems like it was over fairly quickly. We need more details... more description.... more sexual tension....you get the idea. I hope you read mine as it deals with the same genre. I want to know how it comes across to my ideal reader. Thanks... I'll keep reading as time permits.
Christine Elaine Black
MAXIMUS

Hi Cyndi,

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
Psychiatric Evaluation

Hi, Cyndi, this is a wonderful story, very creative and delightful to read. I love it.

HI Cyndi,
this is excellent - only time to read first chapter - radio interjection is great. The flow is natural and the decriptive detail - which I normally squirm at was actually pleasant and didin't distract at all - I wanted to read on.
Gladly backed.
All the best with this!
Cheers,
Rob (When…?)
P.S. Appreciate it greatly if you could find time to feedback on ‘When…?’ And back, if you feel applicable.

wow !!!!!!!! on my WL will read more i love this kind of story

backed with pleasure
anba
L.O.V.E

Cyndi,

I have backed your book because I like the premise, and want to come back to it to read further. Please let me know what kind of feedback - if any - you are seeking.

Wow! This is different! The description of the experiencing the crash and the realisation of actually being dead is totally believable and somewhat unnerving. A really good read. Backed.

Gosh this is a well-written book!
Anything that can evoke this amount emotion has to be seriously engaging.
I think your characterisation is very good and it is with this you have captured something special. – Good luck.

I have read chapters 1, 2 and 33, and was entranced, particularly by the first two chapters. You start brilliantly, and that I read chapter 2 shows that I was hooked by the beginning. The characters come across clearly, and the dialogue definitely works. I'm not an avid reader of romance fiction, but this appears to tick the right boxes, but in an original way. The change of tone just after the beginning of chapter 33 works very well: from ecstacy to horror in an efficient couple of lines. This is a quality work. Ben

Wow. Great car crash. Imagine dying to a Joe Cocker song, too. ;)
But will have to catch more of this later as am being yelled at to go out for Sunday lunch here... Luk - Pixelated.

Hehe, you used my name.
This is brilliant, something I would buy. The opening paragraph is very strong and dives right in to the characters and plot – no dull background story either.

The tires started to hydroplane
Nothing wrong with this line, but something more figurative may feel more descriptive and engaging than a technical term.

The scene where the car’s out of control seems very controlled. What I mean by that is the character which is in a first person point of view as well) seems to know exactly what is going on, what’s hitting where etc. There’s a little confusion so don’t get me wrong, it only needs a minor tweak. Maybe add in a sense of smell, instead of the car rolling describe the feeling of being in the car while it’s rolling, maybe a contrast in sound (which you describe very well when the car is crashing) when the car stops to give an eerie moment of tension – that sort of thing.

But by the way, a gripping first chapter; definitely worth backing.

Cyndi,
Well, I read the whole thing. For three days, this book would not let me go, not until I'd reached the end. And I don't even read romance novels!
Now that I've read the whole thing (and that's a first for me with a completed book on authonomy), here are a couple of thoughts I had:
I like Aiden's awe and confusion when he sees things from the modern day. Sometimes though, I feel like he should understand a little more than he does. He's not a dumb man; even though the world is much different than three hundred years ago, he seems to not be able to make some connections that I thought he should. He also seems unfazed by things that should have him staring in awe. This does not happen that much, and it's just my impression. One example that comes to mind is when he gets into the car. He transports people to heaven and so he's seen his share of car accidents, Lindsey's included. In my (fallible) opinion, I would think that he should know what a car is for.
I think that a bit of foreshadowing about what happens to Lindsey halfway through the book might be helpful. Had I not already known of the plot twist, I would have kind of felt like it was sprung on me from nowhere. Or maybe there is foreshadowing and I'm too dense to see it . Knowing me, I wouldn't be surprised.
Really, though, I LOVE this book Repeat: LOVE it. Even though I've already read it, I would buy it if I saw it on a bookstore shelf, and then read it again.
Best of luck with this!

Hi Cyndi. I just enjoyed the first two chapters of "Between." This is a great start to your novel. The opening chapter is wrenching, followed by a surreal transition to the inter-world and her escort in the second. The writing has some wonderful phrases and descriptions. My only nits are minor:
YOUR TEXT:
Ravi switched off the engine of his ancient Mustang and the motor’s comforting rumble disappeared.
MY COMMENT: Starting with Ravi made me think he was the point of view character. I'd consider staring with her stomach fluttering with nerves...that way we've got the point of view immediately clarified.
YOUR TEXT:
My limbs were paralyzed with fear as we spun out of control.
MY COMMENT: passive voice. I'd consider "fear paralyzed my limbs..."
YOUR TEXT:
Vivid colors were added to the picture and the scenery took on depth all around me.
MY COMMENT: passive voice.

These are minor. There are great hooks at the end of both chapters, and Lindsey is engaging and likable. Readers will care about her fate and want to learn more. thanks for sharing!!!

Max

What an interesting premise and the pitch lead me to believe this would be an excellent read and I was not dissapointed. The accident was very well written and we accept Aiden without question as an angel. This is an excellent read and I would highly reccomend it.
Sue mackender
Knowing Liam Riley

Hi Cyndi,
Here, as you requested, are my thoughts about what I read. Yes, there’s a decent amount of stuff there, but it’s really all minor. Your book is actually one of my favorites that I’ve read here so far.
First, a disclaimer: All the below is my opinion, which is faulty at best. Feel free to use what seems right to you and ignore/laugh at/burn the rest.
Here we go:
Chapter one
‘…we usually hung out as a group with our friends.’ I would consider rewording this, as it’s a bit cumbersome. Maybe ‘hung out together with our friends.’ Or similar.
‘curly brown hair.’ This one is an issue of preference. I’m not fond of being told outright the physical features of characters. Maybe something along the lines of ‘He ran his hand through my hair, a finger catching slightly on a dark curl as he did so.’ I’m sure you can put it much better than I can.
‘His adoring gaze…’ I’d put a period after squirm, drop ‘and’ and say ‘tried to twist,’ and a comma after ‘away.’
‘I started to relax and enjoy myself.’ Maybe be more descriptive here?
Typo with I love you… comma should be before quotation mark.
Comma after I had to say something.
‘It occurred to me…’ Maybe just say, ‘Really, he was my best friend.’ Or similar.
‘I’d told him about my parents’ divorce…’ Maybe put ‘when’ before ‘I’d’, comma after affair, and drop the ‘and’ after affair.
‘It’s alright.’ I’d say ‘It’s all right.’ Some say that alright is okay because it’s dialogue, but this is one of my little pet peeves. But then, so is someone putting on the toilet paper roll with the paper coming out from underneath, so use your discretion.
How can his lips be pressed in a hard line while he’s talking?
‘The swish of the windshield wipers…’ great sentence!
‘Rain streamed through the beam…’ maybe a word besides streamed or beam? The rhyme jarred a bit.
Comma after ‘to Betty from Frank’
Could be completely wrong here, but I would think that the radio request thing would make Ravi and Lindsey more uncomfortable, not less. Maybe if Frank picked out a corny or completely inappropriate song, and they laughed over it, breaking the tension?
I met this guy, Todd… Maybe ‘I met a guy named Todd in physics class. He plays drums.’
‘A secret thrill…’ I don’t think secret is needed here.
Comma after ‘swirling’. Although not strictly necessary, it helps to break up the sentence a bit.
‘the tires just sliding…’ ‘just’ is not needed here.
‘the stiff seat belt…’ ‘stiff’ not needed.
Comma after ‘reverberated through my head’
‘though I’m sure’ maybe ‘though I knew’
‘My stomach lurched…’ I’d reword this sentence. Maybe “My stomach lurched into my throat as the car fell, its front end smashing into the ground.” Or not.
‘yanked’ needs to be ‘yanking me.’
I’ve read through chapter six now, and things seemed to smooth out a bit after this first chapter. Definitely a very engaging story. I’ll be reading more!

Hi Cyndi,
It's not often that I read a book, published or not, that captures my attention from the very beginning. Yours does just that, and now, six chapters in, I find I must tear myself away. I'll be back to read the rest. This is an excellent book, very well-written.
I found a few things I could nitpick, but I think most of those lie in personal preference rather than actual problems with how it's written. If you do want me to tell you about them, let me know.
One thing you may want to consider...perhaps you should remove the last paragraph of your long pitch. I only read the short pitch before starting your book, but when I came back to comment, I read the long pitch as well. I'd like to have learned of what you wrote in the last paragraph by reading the story instead of reading the pitch. Just a suggestion.
Oh, and backed, of course.

Between
Wow, Cyndi! Considering Lindsey is dead, she is one sensual lady! She drinks in the beauty of Aiden's face, the ripple of his muscles and the scent of his skin. It's the irony of Lindsey's between state that she feels more alive than ever before. She finds more pleasure from her body by running, kissing Aiden, dancing in Palace of Versailles, riding a horse, swimming in the cold lake and making love to Aiden, than she did when she was alive. Your readers are left in no doubt about her joy and her love for Aiden Alexander MacKensie MacRae (have I got that right?) or for his love of her.
And through their sharing of their memories they visit important events in their lives and learn about each other and themselves. Lindsey comes to realise what she hadn't seen as a fourteen year old... her mother was having an affair with Nick, her lover, long before she'd broken up with her father. It is sad but Lindsey is stronger for being with Aiden.
Their bliss is threatened with one thing that is forever hanging over them. Her stay in the between state of life and heaven is only temporary and Aiden's job is to transport her to the gates of heaven. One night Lindsey hears heaven calling her but manages to ignore it. But for how long? I was on edge, wondering when they would be separated or if her love for him could save him from the terrible punishment that had been inflicted on him for taking his own life.
At one point Lindsey asked a questiion I'd been wanting to know. Does Aiden take people to hell? He answers her but it fills her with fear. He does not, but there are monsters that take some of the dead to hell. I wondered what they had done, both the monsters and the people transported to hell.
You write convincingly about Aiden's amazement at some aspects of the modern world, such as girls' clothes, the automatic door and the radio. Lindsey shows a similar surprise at some of the 18th century ways, such as emptying the chamber pots into the street and the openess of the prostitutes in the Parisian inn. The two may have different ideas about what is socially acceptable (eg whether Lindsey should bathe naked in the lake) but their differences become irrelevant when they talk and laugh and joke together. You show their casual, relaxed conversations with skill and warmth. It feels geniune and I never doubted it.
Aiden asks Lindsey to marry him and they marry for a year and a day, a ceremony without a priest often performed in the isolated parts of the Highlands in Aiden's time. This is beautiful and romantic but my unease was growing all the time: they are too happy, something is bound to come between them..
This is where I reached for now but you write with passion and emotional depth. You've clearly done your research about Eilean Donan castle and the clans involved in the castle siege. Just as covincing is your knowledge of the Sun King and his palace at Versaille. Just one point about that however. When Aiden and Lindsey walk around the gardens and palace before they are introduced to the king, I felt for a short time Lindsey lost her unique and modern voice. Some of the descriptions of the hedges and canals etc were interesting but it didn't sound much like Lindsey. I thought I'd lost her for a moment.
Also, I know somebody else has mentioned this, I'm not totally convinced that they would have danced the waltz in Louis XIV's time. Not that I'm an expert! I looked it up on internet and different sites told me different things but maybe it was a little too early? (Though a lovely thought and perhaps I'm being too pedantic!)
Accomplished writing which keeps the writer wanting more. I am backing this. Very glad I looked in on your thread in the forum!
Cherry G.
The Girl From Ithaca

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