My House Eats People

I like what I've read so far -it's well written and interesting with a fast pace and makes you want to read more. I'll back it when I have a space on my shelf which will be in the next couple of days. I think it seems like a unique idea. If you fancy a read with a similar kind of character -a boy age 12, have a read of Mother Swap, but it's entirely up to you.

Lovely creepy atmosphere, builds up well, I would love to know how this finishes. Look forward to reading more.

Sam
Dead Letter Drop

Hello
Here is a review from Emilia age 10
I like it exept it is quite scary. I like it because it is well written.
I wouldn't really choose it because i don't like scary stuff but there are lots of people in my class who would
At the end stops like it's the middle of a chapter
Can you recommend any other book for children?

- My House Eats People -

(Chapters 1-6)

I’m not really in a position to judge books written for children as I don’t possess the skills required to write one myself but I do know that I enjoyed reading this.

The characters felt real and rounded, particularly the squabbling siblings and the set-up is an original one that really drew me in. The tension and pace in chapters five and six were excellent and I found myself rattling through the story to find out what would happen next. The chapter endings here were also classic page-turner dramatic moments that I personally love and feel is a mark of a natural storyteller.

Some minor, nitpicky bits to follow. I’m a complete novice as a writer and, as I say, not overly familiar with the genre so these are just gut feelings and I make no claim to being right about them.

- Where did Julia go to in chapter one? I was waiting for her to come back on the warpath but she sort of fizzled out a bit.

- Chapter two seemed to follow the setup of chapter one very closely with talk of the house, the move etc. I had the feeling much of chapter two could be gutted to let the plot move on a bit faster.

- The portent regarding the house comes in very well at the end of chapter three but I wondered whether one or two lighter hints at what’s to come before then would have created a bit more tension and hooked the reader in more.

The above are all minor points and, as I say, not ones I claim to be right about. The story and the writing are solid and the book reads very much like published material, which is why it shall certainly find some time on my shelf when I can manage it.

All the best with it,

Ross

this is lovely, I'm going to direct my little girl here as soon as she gets home from school

this is lovely, I'm going to direct my little girl here as soon as she gets home from school

Wonderful little story here. I am searching out children's books as that is what I am trying to write. I think this is just delightful. Something my child would love to read. I wish I could write like this.

Em.

This a great plot, the house eating people, that is intriguing enough to attract anybody. Narrative and characters are well written. This must reach the market.
Best wishes
Ajay Kansal

I actually let out a little gasp and put my hand to my mouth when the fly crawled on the eyeball. (don't tell anyone).
I love the voice, perfect for YA or an immature adult such as myself.Only had time for the first two today will keep you on my WL and try and get back for more. Highly rated.

Bill Scott
Haktaw Heart

I’m not very well versed in YA and MG fiction, I’m haven’t got the skillset to attempt it myself (at least not with any competency), but I’m often drawn to the outlandish nature of these stories and the purity with which such tales are told.

So, here are my notes (hope you can unscramble them!):

I had reached a crucial point with my wigwam.
Those stairs never lied . . .
Love both those lines.

Good use of language – consistent voice.

Fear of parents splitting up; that’s an acute and well observed fear.

The missing mom is almost unbearable in chapter one. What are you trying to do? Give some poor kid a heart attack! ;o)

The kids arguing about what they should do in C2 made me laugh. Go to the police? Yeah, right!

I like Mr Angle, but how can your MC be sure that the fly was looking at him? Did it just feel like it was looking at him? Is this enough to give him the heebee jeebees?

Hugging his sister! Wow, that must mean things are REALLY bad. I like that.

Oh, but they decide to go to the police after all that? I’m not sure about that to be honest.

ASBO – I know what you mean, but will our American cousins be familiar with this acronym?

Like how you use cold baked beans to describe sensation – that’s perfectly in tune with your MC’s voice.

Biscuit King of England ;o)

Right, I really enjoyed your first 3 chapters, there’s plenty of intrigue and I think that any time children get to do thing for themselves it’s an empowering and appealing thing to them. I also like how Julia becomes the voice of reason/scepticism. I think this keeps the relationship dynamic.

Kind Regards

Iso Nuys

I just stumbled across this and its hilarious! I'm not usually one for childrens books, but I was so intregued by the title I had to check it out! Your writing style is really good and from what I've read so far you've got a compelling read here, certainly something children will love!

You have a great style with this. After putting it on the W/.L couldn't wait to read it. Came back, made a start. Glad I did. This is so much fun. Looking forward to reading more. You're on the shelf!

If you could find time to read Soul Reunion I would appreciate it.

best regards
Lorraine

I've put your book on my W/L. The concept looks brilliant!

Katherine,
My House Eats People is a delightfully imaginative tale for the little ones who can imagine the terrifying events in this account. The juvenile perspective of Jake who is a normal child caught up in extraordinary events is suitable for a children's story. Their little imaginations can run wild with this story.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

Just finished chapter 1 and I'm really liking this. Is a snooker a TV? I'm an American and I'm not familiar with that word...bloo, either.

I love this! How Jake is an ordinary boy with all the normal concerns of boys - avoiding homework, a mean older sister, etc - with extraordinary things happening to him. I love too how you hook the boys especially in straight away with that opening paragraph about bugs. I want to buy this book for a boy I know, who'd love it - only problem is it would have to be in French! If you need a translator once this is published drop me a line! ;)

This is a great read so far and I've been left hanging at Chapter 5! Your characters have distinct and likable voices, you have blended humour with creepy, scarry, heart pounding action and your descriptives aren't overloaded with a bunch of adverbs and adjectives that would steal from the fast action-packed pace you've set. Love it!

This is fun, creepy, and incredibly well-written. Of all the unpublished books i've read in the past year, this is the one I'd most like to see published. I'm definitely jealous of how well you have captured the balance between humor and horror. This is outstanding. :)

Hi katherine,

Not many people have a liking for this genre but having said that, you will have many admirers for MHEP. It's so good. After I read it I was planning to give it to my sons - both teeangers - who will love Jake and Julia. But the boys are having their exams and I shall pass it on to them after a couple of weeks.
For now I have rated it and also backed it
All the best
Jay Adiyarath
EXPIRY DATE

Riveting! Starred and backed! Can't wait to read more!! (and it didn't take me as long to get to it as I thought it would).

Let me start by saying that fantasy is not something I read a lot of, but your pitch grabbed my attention, so I browsed through and did enjoy it and backed it. I plan to read a few chapter and comment, as soon as I clear my desk. Any specific chapters you would like me to pay attention to?
Meanwhile, could you please check TO KILL A DEAD MAN?
Dan

One of the best I've read yet :) Keep going.

I usually don't read this catagory but you got my attention from the start and kept it, way to go! Definately a great read for fantasy enthusiasts.

Leslie Gervais
"Love Has No Borders"

will add to my BS a.s.a.p.

Katherine,
Great set up with these first 5 chapters. Wonderful characters and the creepy fly crawling over the eyeball! Just the right kind of scary for this age range.
Really enjoyed it and wish you all the best with this.
:)
Diane

A riveting and chilling tale of mystery, suspense and terror. I long to see how it continues!

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

Love it. Happy to back.

It would be great of you could have a look at “What Lies Within”.

Good Luck

Audrey

Love it. Happy to back.

It would be great of you could have a look at “What Lies Within”.

Good Luck

Audrey

Well written, fun, exciting - everything a kid will love! Backed.

I'M HOOKED! Well done on this. When I was kid this would have me sat on the floor of the bookshop there and then. Backed!

Righto, I've just finished Chapter One and am itching for more! This is a truly great idea, and an original one at that. It's aimed perfectly at the 9-12 age group, and I expect they'd just love it!
The fly on the eyeball at the beginning ... very strange and eerie. I'm intrigued as to how that fits into the story, and am guessing it's Jake's neighbour, Mr Angle? Brilliant start.
The writing has a wonderful flow and is still light-hearted even though all these crazy things are happening! Jake's voice is spot on and he's instantly likeable. The relationship between him and his sister, Julia, is also very believable and I look forward to meeting the fake Julia you wrote about it in your pitch.
I always like to try and give some constructive feedback, but I can't actually think of anything right now! Nothing struck me as being out of place or unnecessary or needing a good edit. I found it to be rather polished.
I really hope this book does well and wish you the best of luck with it!

This is really brilliant, in my humble view. It's funny for a start - perfectly observed from your MCs point of view - great chatty asides and observations about his sister and the pigs - knowing he's there - the daft cereal goings on, his family. Just perfectly related and told. I also like his double takes. 'Wait a minute......'

It's also tremendously creepy! The very idea that Mum's gone upstairs and not come down - that one's family home could be so weird and unsafe - and Dad knows something, too, but isn't telling. Then he says something mysterious about Mum needing him, goes upstairs and vanishes too. Then we get REALLY creepy. That bit about the stuff in his room moving - really gross and sinister - but then you make me laugh - bringing his horror at seeing his sister's knickers moving for eg, and the bit about the stick man made of bran - children do that - make funnies as relief, and it's so right for your MC.

We then get them going for help to the neighbour and the part with the fly on the eyeball - again so very creepy and wrong. You ratchet up the tension and the idea that no one - not even the police are ok - nowhere is safe.

I have nothing negative to say about what I've read so far. I really like it and think it would be a massive hit. Big stars and a place on my shelf when I change it next month.
Cariad
STONES.

I had to look at this as soon as I saw the title. I wasn't disappointed! Very spooky, just the sort of thing that kids will love.
I only read the first chapter but I'll be back for more. Good luck!
Emily

My House Eats People.
Chapter 1 - The fly passage before the story began, made me cringe - children will love it.
A good opening with a scenario anyone who has a younger sibling, or is a the younger brother or sister, will identify with. Love Jake's observation 'she'd bee at the bleach again' when Julia is worrying like mad about their mother's peculiar disappearance. Tension is nicely racheted up and the mystery of missing parents continues.
Chapter 2 - Mr Angle is really creepy and the fly swivelling from side to side is gross, exactly the kind of thing children relish, and then reading on, Jake thinks the fly looked at him.
Chapter 3 - Like Jake feeling cold baked beans are sliding over his skin. The policeman dunking his chocolate biscuit into a mug of cuppa soup is amusingly vile. At last, Jake presumably recognising his instincts are sending him a huge warning, gets them out of the station. A really scary passage when junk thrown into a corner of Jake's room, merges to make humanoid shapes that move and get onto his bed.
This is a very good read. Very creepy but stays on the right side of deliciously horrid. Jake comes across as an eleven-year-old scoundrel and his sister Julia, a petulant teenager. Both characters are beautifully rounded and the dialogue between them is realistic. Fluid prose and good pace to keep young reads turning pages to find out exactly what is afflicting adults. Changes in tense should be watched, eg: 'Julia was a gibbering bighead' - Julia is.

Nanty - Chrys!

Thanks for joining our Crit Group because I wouldn't have found this book otherwise. I truly believe this book will be published. It's amazingly scary and wacky at the same time; just what children (and me) love to read. I love the sniffing lipstick, the fluffy bit of hair with eyeballs, the All-Bran sticks! What ARE those things?! I NEED to know! The fly on the eyeball is just eurggh. I was so disappointed when I came to the end of chapter 5 and there was nothing more uploaded. Will you let me know if you ever upload more?
I think this story is perfect. I think your writing is brilliant. I am in awe!
Backed! Becky x

I love this story Katherine :) What a nightmarish adventure for Jake and Julia.
It kept me reading and wanting to know what on earth was going on.
I found I cared about your characters right from the beginning too, always a good sign!

I have a feeling you'll do very well - I hope you do!
Definitely on my shelf.

Best of luck,
Berni x
Renegades

Let me know if you have a chance to read "Just Out of Sight". I hope to make your bookshelf.
Looking forward to your input,
Craig (Bandof1)

Dear Katherine, I love that you let your imagine run away with you :) - & then some. :) "Ewwww" would be my response if I were a kid & that's still my response. :) What a write!! Your pitch warned me of unreal fantasy & your tale before chapter 1 confirmed it. Maybe it's a boy-thing, but I have always liked lovey-dovey, frilly nice delightful fun stories :) - "sugar & spice & everything nice." Maybe if it ended as being a nightmare or something, because my nightmares are unreal & weird. :) I love that you have thought of all these strange things which means your mind is really whirling for these new ideas. :) Maybe you'll be famous. :) Your paragraphs & dialogue are nice & tight providing an easy read. :) I've backed your book :) - hope you'll take a moment to back my 2 memoir books. :) Love, Susie :)

Great story. Really pulled me along. Very believable 13 year old. Great premise...I want to keep reading to find out what has happened to the parents. Good job.
Susan
Flirting in Spanish

NO! NO! Do NOT change the title!

This is a great idea and it was definitely worth reading through. If I were you, though, I'd keep the title - it's catchy, I like it. :D Best of luck with this, it's quite colorful!

KAtherine: great stuff, very entertaining. Shelved.

I love the format of this. The writing was very smooth and easy to follow, and yet the voice was perfect for a kid. You give this sense of mystery over what happens with the mom and dad that makes me want to read more. Your writing "sounds" nice. The flow of sentences and varying sentence structures. It's a silly thing to comment on, I guess, but I found it made the reading very smooth. I couldn't find one thing to nit pick. Great pace and great characters!
Putting this on my watchlist so I can shelve it on my next rotation.
xBeccaX
The First Phoenix

Lovely, just lovely. Made me want to be a kid again. Don't you dare change that title. Although now that the possibility has been floated, I'll probably lie awake half the night trying to think of a new one...

I read about half the chapters you posted, and intended to read the rest before leaving a comment, but somehow I didn't get around to it. I liked what I read, and thought the title is excellent. It grabbed me and pulled me into the story, which is what a title should do. Jesselowe

Katherine,

Read the first 3 chapters. Wasn't sure what to expect but I have to say it was an enjoyable read. It was re-freshing to read something other than a a tween vampire strory.

I did notice a couple things as I read.

CH1

“…Mum marched in and pulled us apart (not literally) …” Reads like the Mum didn’t separate Julia and Jake
You wrote Jake has two problems
1) Unfinished homework
2) ?
I know it’s having gone into his sister’s room and accidently breaking her pig but you need to state this because you indicated Jake has two problems.

CH3
I have to imagine Julia texted Jake :
“…Going to bookshop. You go to school…” because you wrote “Clearly speaking to me was distasteful…”
But your next line has Julia snapping at Jake.
Maybe there should be some interaction between the two, a response by Jake to Julia’s text which cause her to speak/snap at him.

This is very imaginative. Hope it does well. Backed

Backed with Pleasure! Jocelyn Enid Morris (A Bore No More)

Love the title for this. At first I was worried you were playing into children's greatest fear - losing their parents - so I wasn't going to like this - but your writing style won me over. It's clear and easy to follow. The story is more puzzling than it is frightening. You've done a good job with this. It's a good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Katherine--
This is BRILLIANT! You've nailed the middle grade genre voice perfectly. Your writing is flawless, the story amazingly intense and all of it executed in such a way to make your reader desperate for more. This story is incredible. You will DEFINITELY go far with this one!
I wish you the best of luck! And thank you for the opportunity of reading it!

If you could help me by clicking that button it would be wonderful. Katherine x

(Sorry just saw this! Been crazy busy!)

Katherine, your first two chapters read very well. Great narrative, good true-to-life dialogue. Honestly, there are few books on authonomy like this.

Sincerely backed.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Katherine:

Your pitch is good, tells readers enough to draw them in. The writing is very good, strong declarative sentences that tell exactly what needs to be known. The premise works well as you hook readers with Mum and Dad's disappearance. And I especially like the sense of humor that pervades the book in the persona of Jake. You have a real knack for the droll expression that I believe functions extremely well here; you have an oddly funny story linked to quirky humor. I seriously think that this should find a publisher. Happy to back it.

Rob