Widow Woman

Hello Julia
Well done. Audrey's charactor is slowly unfolded in this book.A well written book.As a reader on this site I chose your book because of your pitch. I started to read the read first chapter but, I am busy making crabapple jelly and will get back to it later.. I share this account with Craig Ellis who has written "The Sun and The Saber" -please check it out. I will have him back this account with pleasure. your great!
Vi

Dear Julia, I love that I don't know any secrets that my mom may have had - best to leave sleeping dogs lie & no one gets hurts. :) Your story is extremely sensitive & well done. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

Audrey's character developes before our eyes a terrific read. A sensitive subject handled exceptionally well.

Wonderful writing and great narrative voice.
Happily shelved
Melxx
Impeding Justice

What a wonderful first chapter. Your pitch was enough to for me to say... "Huh? Okay, you have my attention." I'd like to read this story from start to finish, so let me know when it's published and I'll buy a copy!

Cheers,

Dwayne

Widow Woman

What an immense and fantastic story. I think how you strip back the pedestal type belief and sub modalities of her mother are extremely subtle and very, very well told.
You have a great writing style that complements the great narrative in this. Avery well told story.

Good writing and a good read. I stopped at chapter three, but only because I need to read several others tonight.

Lockjaw

Every family has secrets. This is a good read because of how startled (and intolerant) Audrey is at learning her mother's secret. This is a difficult subject on which to base a story. You've handled it very well. Your writing style is a big plus. Clear and crisp and always moving the story foward. Makes it a good read. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

You have an unusual and serious theme here, as Audrey learns some hard truths. You develop Audrey's character very skillfully, layer by layer. First there are her arguments with Peter; then her suspicions about Catherine and Diane. After her mother's ashes have been scattered, Audrey remains blind to what is becoming clearer and clearer to us as readers; until finally her mother's letter, given to her by the lawyer, opens her eyes. Audrey didn't want to know this truth, and has made it impossible for years for her mother to tell her. You handle this hard subject beautifully, allowing us to work things out for ourselves by delicate suggestions and hints, and your writing style suits the book perfectly. You write in a clear, straightforward way, with authentic dialogue, and some powerful description, such as the gray clumps on the plants when the ashes are scattered. This is an excellent book. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

I read the first paragraph and thought 'Whoa, this is good.'
Then I read the first line of dialogue and decided I HAD to back this. By the end of chapter 1, I want to buy it. Backed.

This is a highly enjoyable read, though I would lose some adverbs if I were you, especialy in the dialogue tags.

Shelved.

Bill

I like this. With what appears to be heavy subject matter, your writing is surprisingly light, which is a good thing! I like your short pitch and I think your style has an effortless well-constructed feel. Backed with kudos, and best of luck!
-Jenn
Reunion

I had several incisive comments regarding giving away too much in the long pitch--what do you all think about this version? Thank you so much for your comments--I anticipate reciprocating in the weeks to come.

Julia

Julie,

Bravo for taking on this subject. It is broadminded and inclusive. I feel you will treat this subject with the depth and understanding it deserves. I like what you are doing. Also, your writing kept me in the story. Good luck.

Julia, a first person narrative can be tricky, but you make it work so well. A succinct pitch contains a complex premise, some big issues here, and this is a very well constructed human interest story. I've read all you've posted to date and you can evidently write very well. I mentioned the major issues you're dealing with and I got a faint hint that you may be trying to over-explain at times. I'd suggest reining in the 'chat' and let the situations come to the attention of the reader in a more subtle manner. I'm not intending this as criticism, you have an enviable grasp of where your book is going, but my impression as a reader was that this could be even stronger if you let the reader become aware of the sexuality issues for instance in a more lateral manner. The problem of course is the revelations contained in the pitch - I wonder if you could make the pitch slightly more enigmatic in order to rack up the dramatic impact?
There is fine writing here, excellent character development, very impressive work. Backed.
Jared.
Mummy's Boy.

Very interesting introduction. While a little long, the end certainly leads us into the internal conflict described in the Pitch. I think we need more books like this. I'd recommend tightening it up a bit so that chapter 1 isn't so lengthy, but that is about it. Great job with the characters. Backed.

Weston Kincade
Invisible Dawn

I like the use of the first person - something I do, but often gets criticised. I think you've got a great writing style and this book has real potential.
Happy to back
DP Walker
Five Dares

I like the use of the first person - something I do, but often gets criticised. I think ou've got a great writing style and this book has real potential.
Happy to back
DP Walker
Five Dares

This reads so much like a movie - a movie people would want to see. It is current and you certainly have a gift for dialogue. The story is well thought out and polished so far and I promise to return and read more later but emanwhile - BACKED enthusiastically!

Liz
The Cheech Room

I liked the first person POV and that sense of immediacy. But those pitches are bloody brilliant, mate. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Thanks to some very perceptive criticisms on this site (thank you Authonomites!) I am, at present, in the process of a major rewrite and don't have time for individualized comments.
If you are reading this it means I have read the first couple of chapters of your book and think it is worthy of my support. My training is in the visual arts so I can't really help with the 'nuts & bolts' but if you would like to know what I really liked about your work, just send me a message and as soon as I can I will get back to you.
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of my work) for a further read of your book.

Your pitch is excellent it lays out a simple plot and promises an interesting tale. You introduce your characters with strong dialogue immediately raising the hypocrisy of a mans view on lesbianism. You write with true feeling and I wonder if some is true experience as Audrey’s thought process with her mothers ashes is spot on. Wish I had time to read more, best of luck with it.

Sue Mackender
PS Hope you enjoy ‘Knowing Liam Riley’

I understand what you're trying to do, but fiction is more about abstraction than expression. You need to cut back on the conversation, the debating and the chit chat. Pare it back to what is essential to carry the story, and develop the characters, but this can be done better with one telling phrase or detail, and don't beat the drum for your points of view. Your character will have an epiphany, anyway, realizing her mother is lesbian, so she is going to have to question some of her assumptions.

I love your narrative voice and the storyline is a good one which you portray well. I like the last line of chapter one " I guess I knew some lesbians, after all". Fantastic! I wish you the very best of luck with your book. kind regards pinkcoffee 'In The Moment'

Widow Woman
Julia Tagliere

Julia,

I think you have two great pitches here. When I read them, I felt drawn into this story of love and conflict, the circumstances appearing quite disconcerting to me, so I was able to identify with Audrey even before I started reading the first chapter.
I enjoyed your first chapter. The very first paragraph made me feel a little guilty – some people like to debate. Give them an opening and they’ll dance around a topic for hours. This makes for a really long road trip. Yet, it helps pass the time, doesn’t it?
Then that sensitive question – “Just what have you got against gay people, Audrey?” I think the fact that you have already revealed in the long pitch that her mother had been living a secret life for years with a housemate whom Audrey thought was simply her best friend, but who turned out to be her lover, and her “widow” upon her death, will take the impact out of this revelation when these details are revealed in the lines of the story itself. At the end of this chapter when Audrey sees Diane and Catherine together and is shaken up, thinking at first she is imagining things, then admitting, “I guess I knew some lesbians, after all” the reader wonders how this issue will be treated in the ensuing chapters – whether with sensitivity, or whether this will be a story about Audrey living life henceforth as it is lived, or as one would like it to be ideally. I think this is an important and engaging social theme you have weaved into this story and I look forward to reading more when time permits to see whether or not Audrey is able to come to terms with her mother’s sexuality.

Best wishes for success,
Zan

Very interesting story...I wonder where it is going to go...I think Audrey definitely has issues around homosexuality. I like the dialog, the expression of Audrey's discomfort, and the fact that Peter seems much more at ease. Ah, the harm of secrecy...well done, and backed!

A wonderful narrative careful crafted to engaged the reader. C W Shelved.

A lovely story well written, wish I had time to read more. I will leave it at that and let others change things if they want, I don't. I am backing this knowing it will rise to the top. Take a look at mine, Three Stayed Home a WW2 adventure and love story that I hope you will enjoy. JohnJ

Yes, there was a stray! Thanks!

Julia
The description of the ‘discussion’ on the road trip did this for me. You grabbed my attention, my interest and my vote. On my shelf while I enjoy reading the rest you have published here.
Lesley
PS. Is there a stray ‘a’ before Audrey in your pitch?

Your pitch is perfect, neither too wordy nor too short. The road trip was described so well, as was the opening argument. This could blossom into something special and I am happy to place it on my shelf.

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

Interesting read so far..backed.

George Fripley
(Wurzel of Clutten)

I loved the opening argument as I have had that exact same fight... priceless and so well written. I wish I had your ability. I have a great imagination... just hard for me to put it to print. Best wishes!

I read the pitch... brief and to the point. It caught my interest as a well written pitch should. I don't know of anything more difficult than writing an effective pitch... maybe an effective comment. The story opens with the heat of serious topics being debated by a married couple on a long road trip. The conversation feels uncomfortably familiar...perhaps it's the tension that is uncomfortably familiar. The dialogue here is stripped down to the truth. I don't know...maybe they could be talking about anything and it wouldn't matter, because I feel I'm having a real life experience, and that's what I'm after in a story... a connection to the characters. Widow Woman is exceptional in this manner and others, which I'm certain other readers will be glad to comment on.

Backed without hesitation.
Rodney