My Oil Wife Life

"I knew she would go bananas over my enchiladas." - I love that line!

I think you would benefit from a lot more tags for your book.

Hi Ariella,

I am very intrigued to begin reading your story as I feel as though it sits rather 'close to home' with me! I will provide a more in-depth comment once I have begun reading!

All the best,

Hannah (Luckily Unlucky)

MY OIL WIFE LIFE by Ariella Kelly

Ariella - You are a born writer and you possess an attractive style. You have a captivating sense of humour too and it seasons your text. This is a book of great promise which I am very pleased to Back. Please let me know when you have posted additional Chapters, as I would be happy to make a more in depth critique. just one mini-quibble: racket for typo racquet. I do pay attention. Backed.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

Hi Ariella
This is a great story, showing us that a promising ex-pat lifestyle is not always what it is cracked up to be. A well tod, powerful story.
Backed
DP Walker
Five Dares

hullo Areilla. what a great story which includes not only the main charecters; you and yours, but all of the events surrounding it. Very good. Already shelved and backed. Please take a look at mine and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Hi Technology has driven me to read every first visible page of each chapter. Seamless and precisely drawn. BACKED

RICHARD

This is a good story. A walk inside a world I know very little about. Ariella is a good character because she has so much trouble adjusting to this new world. Makes it a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

I didn't think this read like conventional Chick-Lit at all. I found it engrossing, written in a beautiful, accessible manner with an excellent use of first person. The story and people are so fascinating that I found this a truly effortless and enjoyabe read.
Carl
The Time hunters

My Oil Wife Life

I think what is good at the start is you really portray a sense of loneliness and while I am mindful of the genre this has created a greater depth then the norm.
You keep the story interesting and moving (just be aware of the amount times you use I) with good narrative. Very credible main character and a very well told story. –Good luck

Hi Areilla, you have the makings of a great book. It has a strong storyline and compelling interest. However, your writing needs special care. i think you need to read it to yourself and edit carefully. Take care not to 'split the infinitives; e.g "By any chance you wouldn't be Ariella" is better as "Excuse me, are you by any chance Ariella"
With a little editing you have a great book. I am backing it.
Regards
David (Flawless Murder) Please have a look at my book.

Ariella, your first two chapters read smoothly. Good job overall. Only minor nit I have comes at the opening line of the Chapter Two. ....nudged my shoulder to inform (me) that... You can do without the "me."

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

MY OILWIFE LIFE:

Ariella Kelly,

A most interesting story, showing a side of the world I've never seen. Nicely written in an easy flowing style.
A difficult title to get the tongue around, but eye-catching none the less.

Backed with pleasure, and wishing you good luck.
Sheila (Pinpoint)

Dear Ariella Kelly,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I think you have a winning pitch and premise. You have “spent along” when you meant “alone”. You begin with a wedding, flourishing your chic-lit credentials, but you add tension with a distance relationship and build sympathy by making her spend dates like Valentine’s alone. Great detail that the protagonist can’t bear thinking about the one she loves all day while unemployed. I suggest against the ellipsis at the end of this chapter. “Token” doesn’t need to be capitalized. The next chapter ratchets up the tension, with the protagonist thinking about all she’s being severed from in her old life. She faces uncertainty with the airport official and not having a phone. She’s too tired to match his enthusiasm, which brings him down. This chapter ends with a problem, in the sense that everything seems happy. In my fallible opinion, you can’t end chapters on a happy note, or you’ll quench the reader’s desire to keep reading. You can either extend the chapter or display the character's doubts or employ some narrator foreshadowing.

This small matter aside, I think you have a story that will peak readers’ curiosity. Bravo! Backed, and best wishes.

Aside from a recheck on some clarity issues and a re-edit, this reads nicely and it's an interesting scenario. Those airplane blankets are indeed "flimsy". Wishing you the best...

Catherine (The Golden Thread)

Very interesting premise and the writing is wonderful.

your characters jump off the screen/page.

Happily shelved

Melxx

Backed with pleasure! Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of my work) for a further read and possible backing of your book.

A very enjoyable read Charcter and dioloule for a unique voice that speaks the the readers. C W

Hi,

Lots of little syntactical problems.

C1 P5 constantly ?? about Ethan. thinking?

Did the girlfriends comfort the men or the men, them?

I would start the next paragraph with, "I was miserable until I received"

loyalty program that come LIFE with ?? with whom?

Not until I was on the jet, traveling half way around the world, did I truly comprehend that (out out damned adverb)

That's all I have time for.

Cheers

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes

Very enjoyable read! Best wishes,
M (Weekend Chimney Sweep)

Oil wife life... say it 5 times fast.

Good stuff and backed!

Dan-
Eunice Stubbins, among others..

Try saying that ten times fast! Intrigued by the titla of course but the read was excellent! Oil wives - wow sounds like a television series like pilot wives, despararte housewives...etc., anyway - you are gifted at dialogue and your sense of wit and intelligence com ethrough in this cleverly crafted! We don't need demons and vampires to tell a thrilling story and you have one here! BACKED 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room

This fits perfectly into this genre. I was not too sure. Is this real life? Even way, I like those pitches. Worked for me. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

the suspense of the synopsis grabbed me. Book flows freely and and enjoyable. Backed

Airella, you've got an interesting premise here. I found the title slightly awkward, but not grievously so, while your pitches work well. I'm intrigued by the story, especially given the names of your MC and yourself, as this is marked as fiction, but I'm assuming with a great deal of your own experience in here. If it's autobiographical, tag it as Harper True and widen your opportunity on this site.
I've read five chapters. You write in an engaging manner and manage the difficult first person narrative very well. At the start of chapter five, you mention embarking on a 'maiden voyage' and add 'for the very first time' - you don't need that qualification, a maiden voyage defines it as the first time. There's the odd punctuation issue, nothing too serious, and certainly nothing to mar the story. I wish you well with this.
Jared.
Mummy's Boy.

Dear Airella,

From your pitch and first chapter, this sounds like the start of a fine human interest story for teens or adults. I have to agree, though, with some of your reviewers that it needs editing, mostly for clarity and standard punctuation--nothing you couldn't do yourself. Here are some notes I took while reading:

--Your title would be clearer if you changed it to [My Life as an Oil Wife] or hyphenated [Oil Wife] in your version.
--Delete [out] in the first line. It's repeated in the next.
--[brides maids] is one word. Your spell-check, of course, missed this one.
--Write [Austin, Texas,]. There's another Austin in Minnesota.
--Place a comma after a long introductory adverbial clause--for example, after the word [period] in the second paragraph.
--Delete the comma after [We decided at first].
--In the third paragraph, delete the second [as usual]. Repetition looks careless unless intended.
--Change [a offshore] to [an offshore].
--In fiction, spell out numbers that can be expressed in one or two words, except dates. For instance, change [1 - 2] to [one-to-two].
[sub leasing) is one word.

You should go through your manuscript and edit it word by word if you want editors to take it seriously. Don't pay someone to do what you can do yourself. The story, of course, is the main thing, but craft is also important.

Backed.

All the best, Bill ("The Doctor of Summitville")

No better way to start off chick lit than with a wedding, in my opinion. All the ingredients and a good read. Backed. lynn

You've done a great job with this! it took us into a way of life not a whole lot of people know about and I found it fascinating. I liked it, not much more to say other than that! The reader in me was involved from the very beginning.

missy

Writing in the 1st person is difficult to pull off, but you do it brilliantly. Straight away we are feeling empathy for her situation. Loved it. I wish the very best of luck with your book. kind regards pinkcoffee 'In The Moment'

Not that I am an expert or anything but, I am into chapter 2 and have no idea what counrty she is in... and perplexed why she would say she would only be there for thirty days? You have something here, but perhaps a bit more editing.

The wonders and reality of the real world of uprooted travel with situations portrayed on TV, in the movies, and endured by some are all wonderfully woven into a novel to convey eye-openers for oil industry product users. Behind the pumps is where the action really is. Wonderful work. Backed Chuck (Paperboy Adventures)

Nicely written. Best of luck with your book! Backed .Best regards, Jedward (Knut)

You have a great concept for a novel. I have just a few suggestions. It would be helpful if you had more paragraph breaks during the dialog. Also, be careful of repetition. For example, you use the phrase "as usual" twice and close to each other in the first section. You may want to edit for tense. This may be a typo but you had one sentence that read "did I knew" instead of "did I know."

The plot is solid and interesting. I think the prose needs some work (but so does mine). You'll get some good advice here.

Best of luck

El
Reckless Scarlett

(If you have time please check out my novel. Thx)

a very enjoyable read, well done, backed

alison