It seemed like yesterday I was planning my dream wedding. I was to wear a vintage Vera Wang circa 1996. I remember that dress fondly as I would steal my mother’s Vogue issues as a child and pretend I was a fashionable big city gal. I knew my long brunette hair would complement the dress nicely.
It may sound a bit tacky, but my bridesmaids were to rock out sundresses in our school’s color as homage to our sorority days. I just had too, if I hadn’t gone to college I would have never realized Ethan was the one for me or have met the best friends a girl could ever have; they are my family.
My picturesque groom would be a tall, dark haired, fair skinned, handsome young man. I pictured him to look just like Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid. On a side note, I was not named after the precocious Disney heroine, Ariel. My mother fell in love with the name after reading a baby name book. I believe my name means Lion God. The momentous day would culminate with a kiss so powerful it would forge an ever-lasting bond between us.
Needless to say, my wedding was almost like a fairytale. Instead, my prince was about two inches shorter, but he did have those signature green eyes. We decided the bridesmaids should choose their own dress after Ethan’s sister refused to wear burnt orange. She was an Aggie at heart and could not bear to betray her school spirit. I did manage to find my dream dress, after staking out EBay and other bridal shops. It was pre-owned and slightly within our price range. I didn’t care that Wang had been used before, I figured a dress this classic deserved a second chance.
The reception went smoothly, well somewhat, Ethan’s drunken dad did slip and break his hip while dancing to Lady Gaga’s Telephone. Then there was the dude of honor (my gay best friend) and best man debacle. Let’s just say they had a little too much fun in the changing room. It would have gone unnoticed if my Grandma hadn’t walked in on them to take a nap on the bed they were fornicating on.
Something told me she wasn’t completely overtaken by the incident, as she is very accustomed to drama from all the novellas she watches. However, I believe Ethan was blind-sided to find discover his best friend pitched for both teams.
Other than those unfortunate incidents, the wedding was successful. I had just wished my father would be alive to give me away. God rest his soul. But my uncle Joe was happy to fill in. I felt as though my life was finally coming together and I had an incredible partner to enjoy it with.
Little did I know fate had a different path for me because not long after our honeymoon, which was in glorious Mexico, did Ethan learn of his new work assignment. He was to be relocated to the other side of the world, Asia. At first I was completely upset, since we both planned to settle in Austin, Texas. But then he explained his new promotion to Operations Manager would allow us to live comfortably and acquire our dream home in a shorter period of time.
Ethan had a vision of owning a house by the lake, mainly so he could fulfill his boyhood dream of having a sailboat. I on the other hand, wanted to be a part of the swanky neighborhood and aspire to one-day host a dinner party and invite Sandra Bullock over. I just knew she would go bananas over my enchiladas.
Nonetheless, it was for the best he take the offer, so I quietly went along with his move and without a hitch he was gone. I was left to pick up the pieces as usual. The issue of distance was ever present from the beginning or our relationship. When Ethan and I started dating he was employed as an offshore oil contractor and was off on job sites for one - two months at a time. In fact, we spent a large portion of our lives apart. It was difficult, but I managed since I was in graduate school. It was only on the important dates like holidays and birthdays that were most bothersome to be without Ethan.
Now, it was a different story, I was no longer a busy student writing research papers and interning at clinics. And as much as I delayed the inevitable, I had to join the real world; therefore, I painstakingly tried to fulfill my desire to have a career, but it just did not go according to plan. I was beginning to think someone up stairs had it out for me, but I joined the bandwagon and I blamed the economy. It also didn’t help that Austin had a flooded job market with an abundance of college graduates vying to stay in the hip city. I couldn’t help but wonder if a simple girl like myself could have it all, a perfect dream wedding, a wonderful husband and a rewarding career? So far I only had two of those, but that was more than some people I knew, I was grateful, but I wanted more.
Without much else to occupy my time with, I spent most of my day in the company of a computer, overlooking classifieds and sending out job inquires, while wistfully longing for one day to be in the same place as my beloved, Ethan. Although we mutually decided I would stay back in Texas until he was firmly rooted in his new home away from home, I was beginning to feel restless; thus, it was with no surprise, I grew tired of the tedious routine.
My girlfriends were around, but they had their own lives to live and men(s) to comfort. It was only on the weekends that I had any human contact with the gals and my dude of dishonor. I was utterly miserable. Well, not entirely, I did have HBO, it at least kept me entertained with stories I could live vicariously through, but it just made me cynical.
Right when I was about to go bonkers, I received a lifeline via a phone call from Ethan. His company acquired him a private apartment and he had enough miles saved from his frequent flyer account that he could purchase me a ticket and I would be able to come live with him. I was extremely ecstatic I could hardly breathe. Then I realized my career aspirations would cease, since I knew my profession was nonexistent in that country. My question was answered and I had no other choice, but to say Yes! I yearned to have a career of my own, but I wasn’t going to let that come in between Ethan and I.
The girls were devastated I was leaving them and our wonderful city. They were happy I would finally be with my husband, but our plan of growing old together and move into the same house just like the “Golden Girls” would be delayed. I always thought of myself as a Dorothy, but for some odd reason they said I was Rose.
In celebration of my departure, they hosted a farewell dinner in my honor. We went to one of my favorite restaurants in Austin, El Chile. It was fabulous! I was with my best friends having chicken enchiladas and a prickly pear margarita, there wasn’t nothing else I could ask for; ok, well besides the obvious.
Even with all the excitement, the night had an underlying somber tone to it because it was dedicated to my going away. After desert we shared some of our favorite moments with each other. I couldn’t believe the predicaments we would get ourselves into and the horrible boyfriends and fashion choices we made. I sure was glad Ethan wasn’t there to hear the stories; he would most likely question why he even married me. Then again, I could always blame my young naïve brain for the mishaps in judgment.
Four margaritas later and we were sloshed. I think our waiter decided to cut us off because of the entire racquet we were causing, since we asked for another round and the only thing he brought was our $300 bill. I said goodbye to my wonderful companions in mischief with a toast and a last minute group photo. It was tough to let go of them, but I knew I had to do it.
The night was definitely one of the most enjoyable on record. I only hoped they wouldn’t forget about me too quickly; however something inside me was saying it wouldn’t be too long before we saw each other again. Until then I would have our picture and Facebook to keep in touch.
The days leading up to my departure were like a blur. As though I was going through the motions in subleasing our apartment home and putting our belongings into storage. I had procrastinated the moving process because I hated doing the work by myself, but luckily I managed to get Ethan to hire movers to help. I placed all our belongings into boxes and had them disassemble the furniture. Then we put the past five years of my life into a small storage room. I couldn’t believe I had so acquired so much junk, but nonetheless it was mine and it felt awkward to lock it all up. When I closed the door to the storage room, I was relieved to have gotten the job done, but I also had a tinge of sadness come over me as though I was beginning to realize things wouldn’t be the same anymore.
I drove to my mother’s house in South Texas to stay one last night with them before I jettisoned. There was no definite date on my return, so I figured I would spend some quality time with them, since I seldom get the chance. Just as any normal parent, my mom was concerned about my long flight. I reassured her the plane was safe and that I would get plenty of sleep. I was the youngest, so I guess in her eyes, I will always be the baby.
My old bedroom was exactly the same as I had left it. Mom still had my Prom and cheerleader pictures in frames. My homecoming tiara and sash were on display and I even had a newspaper fold out of the high school football team with a heart over my first boyfriend. It was hard to grasp how fast time had passed. I could still remember the feelings of excitement when I won homecoming and how much I thought Mike was the love of my life. It was funny how things turn out. Although at the time it was like the end of the world. Now I could see the bigger picture and appreciate the path I took.
I fell asleep early that night since I knew my flight was before sunrise. My old bed was just as comfortable as I remembered; the left side still had my imprint. Ethan woke me up that morning to remind my lazy butt to get up for my 5:00 am morning flight. He had a tendency to be uptight on getting to the airport two hours before departure. I on the other hand was a bit more relaxed and always opted to get there in the last minute. Once again, I was going from point A to point B, without much thinking or feeling behind my actions, but just moving. My mom dropped me off at the airport. I gave her a hug before checking in. I could see was getting teary eyed. I told her I’d call her once I arrive to ease her fears. I then got off the car and checked in.
After take off, I began to think about the past couple of days. I had blocked my emotions about the move because I knew they would be hard to deal with while engaging in the draining moving process. I don’t know whether it was the uncomfortable seat I had to sit on for 14 hours or the fact that I was on a plane traveling halfway around the world, that I finally had a moment of clarity. My life was about to drastically change and I was scared.