The Men who Sold the World

I will only say it an outstanding work, highly starred and now on my watch list.

Adeel

Excellent story, It's well written and it is a very easy read which I truly like. Your book will do very well here on authonomy. Highly rated and will be on my w/l list waiting on space to open.

Very good. This was a nice read and had a great ending, kind of too short it felt like, but I think it made you want to read on. I know it did for me. I like how he wrote in his diary. I understand why it’s good for males to write out their adventures or problems or even daily lives. It’s just one of those tools that can help a person out.

Your characters were well drawn out, didn’t catching many similar characters, and your writing was very easy to read. I’ve been reading all day today and yours was the first that I felt like it was different, in a good way. Because of that and that it was just a very good story . . . so far I give it 6 stars.

Unique. Creative. Entertaining. A captivating science fiction adventure. Vivid characters. Stunning descriptions. Clever dialogue. Refined narrative.. Powerfully imainative plot. Exceptional writing. An astounding read. Backed.

Gerry,
I read the synopsis for The Men who Sold the World and it reminded me of nothing I've ever come across at authonomy. It has a chilling and enthralling plot. Darren and Sonya have quite an adventure to be shared with the reader of this original narrative. Backed with pleasure.

Hey, Gerry, a really fun read. You had me hooked at the synopsis.

blessings,
jim

gerry, this has a musical pace and language which draws the reader, This has quality, all the best, John Warren Lasting Images, please review, jdub backed

Your use of short paragraphs keeps your book well paced. Your use of imagery and character development is excellent and your smooth writing style makes your finely crafted sci fi thriller a most enjoyable read;. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Oh what grand literary fiction! This is absolutely wonderful. You write with magic and the characters are imaginative and deep. This had a quality of finess in storytelling that one rarely finds. You should consider this for the Boooker Prize or some other at least. Believe me this is dammned good. You have won my admiration and for sure those of many to come. Fine piece of workmanship in writing. Greaser is superb.

backed with pleasure

Dear , I love the adventure - - what could be a better ending? :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book to help it advance - this will help yours & mine move up on the charts. :) Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every "backing" you do gives your book points & the other person's book. :)

Gerry, I love your first chapter. I really like the warm voice. It has an endearing quality that's very easy to read, and that's a gift. I also liked a lot of your language choices, specific words (flowers, street names, etc.).

Two things I noticed. One was that the end of the first section felt, for me, too abrupt. One option might be to mention that he never saw Greaser again in the very last paragraph of the chapter. This would seem fitting with the way there's an omniscient narrator at the end, which is of course not uncommon. To have such a dramatic mention earlier on feels jarring to me, in this case. It sort of takes you out of the world too soon, but that's JMO.

The other issue I had was not understanding where he was in the second section until it was a bit late. Once you talk about the door and the hallway and the stairs, I had a "Huh?" moment. Before that I imagined he was outside somewhere, and not near to a building. So maybe this could be clarified a bit.

One more nit. The third paragraph didn't quite work for me. I thought the second sentence shouldn't have started with a pronoun (for clarity's sake). And the last sentence I didn't quite get for some reason the first time (though now I see it). You might be able to connect the dots slightly more clearly for folks like me.

Don't get me wrong, though. I really enjoyed this, and I like your story and characters so far. Congrats on finishing the work!

Moses Siregar III
DEUS EX KARMA, an epic fantasy in homage to Homer's Iliad.

Truly brilliant - I've never read anything like it. Great detail which pulls the reader straight into the book from the off. I can see this doing very well and I wish you the best of luck.

BACKED!
Aimee
His Pride, Her Prejudice.

Your vivid imagination coupled with your smooth writing style easily transports the reader to the world which you have created. Excellent use of imagery and character development. A joy to read. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Diane - thanks for the time you took!
SOOO....I confused you a little, eh? GOOD! (just kidding)
Really, that's the way my mind works. Rather than set the stage forcibly (Here we are now in World War Two...) I decided to start right in on Iwo Jima, with two officers arguing amidst teh fighting (much later in the book). Yes, confusing, but to someone who is interested in finding ot what's going on, it may well be compelling. I think of a good book as requiring a little more of the reader than to breeze thru it unimpeded. But I may have skipped around too much for some folks.

I think The Bruce repaired the castle a little before 1320, I may be mistaken. Either way, I'm taking a little license there, I guess.

Oh, and the alien words? Hopefully I use the words but hint as to their meaning thru further description, such as using their term for length and in the next sentence, mentioning that it was a half-hour walk, or something like that. But it can be daunting at first, agreed.

Keep reading - you'll find that history runs deep in this story (hopefully in the right direction!).

Many thanks again! - Gerry

I like to comment as I read, just my thoughts as if I was in a book shop. I don’t crit grammar or anything like that much. I will generally only make negative remarks if you have asked me to comment. Otherwise if I have commented it is because I think your book is great.

The men who sold the world

Your title captured my attention and I liked the cover picture.

I think the long pitch is a little bit confusing.

I do wonder if it would be more normal to refer to autumn storms than “fall” I could be wrong maybe it is a Scottish term but I always felt it was more American than British. I am having a bit of trouble placing this in time, I thought at first that it was possible last century (20th) but now part way through the first chapter I am unsure, I know there is the reference to Robert The Bruce but I am not sure whether that was just an historical reference and even though we have noted sailing vessels I can’t decide how far back we have gone. Obviously it is later than the 1300’s because the castle has been repaired but where in time are we?

It is an exciting start, this thing falling out of the sky to land in the pig pen and we already know that it has great meaning. Your descriptive writing is excellent and the atmosphere of the special night is very well drawn. Shame about the poor fish but as long as they enjoyed it I guess that’s OK.

Now we are definitely in the present – witness the computer and the gym but I really would have liked a more precise placement for the important event described in the last chapter. This is a purely personal thing but I so much prefer home to abode, I have never heard anyone seriously refer to where they live as their “abode” but it crops up over and over in books. I know it’s correct but it is just so darned pretentious. We can immediately imagine how fascinating the family history would be with this strange anomaly concerning every other generation. The last sentence of the para describing the fates of the various paternal grandparents needs to be clarified as it did seem that the last “father” was Darren’s and I had to re-read to get it straight and this interrupted the flow. Otherwise the whole concept is captivating.

The dialogue is great, natural and believable.

Chapter 3 is something else entirely of course and not really up my street. I admire the imagination you have to invent language but have to admit that I find it irritating, I suppose the only way round it is to have the “extra terrestrials agree to use human speech in preparation but heigh this is a very personal view for me and you must ignore me at this point.

It seems that you have researched the history very well and now we are back in Bonny Scotland. This is a very intricate and well wrought tale and I wish you the very best of luck with it and will be happy to have it on my shelf in recognition of your skilled writing - Diane

I like to comment as I read, just my thoughts as if I was in a book shop. I don’t crit grammar or anything like that much. I will generally only make negative remarks if you have asked me to comment. Otherwise if I have commented it is because I think your book is great.

The men who sold the world

Your title captured my attention and I liked the cover picture.

I think the long pitch is a little bit confusing.

I do wonder if it would be more normal to refer to autumn storms than “fall” I could be wrong maybe it is a Scottish term but I always felt it was more American than British. I am having a bit of trouble placing this in time, I thought at first that it was possible last century (20th) but now part way through the first chapter I am unsure, I know there is the reference to Robert The Bruce but I am not sure whether that was just an historical reference and even though we have noted sailing vessels I can’t decide how far back we have gone. Obviously it is later than the 1300’s because the castle has been repaired but where in time are we?

It is an exciting start, this thing falling out of the sky to land in the pig pen and we already know that it has great meaning. Your descriptive writing is excellent and the atmosphere of the special night is very well drawn. Shame about the poor fish but as long as they enjoyed it I guess that’s OK.

Now we are definitely in the present – witness the computer and the gym but I really would have liked a more precise placement for the important event described in the last chapter. This is a purely personal thing but I so much prefer home to abode, I have never heard anyone seriously refer to where they live as their “abode” but it crops up over and over in books. I know it’s correct but it is just so darned pretentious. We can immediately imagine how fascinating the family history would be with this strange anomaly concerning every other generation. The last sentence of the para describing the fates of the various paternal grandparents needs to be clarified as it did seem that the last “father” was Darren’s and I had to re-read to get it straight and this interrupted the flow. Otherwise the whole concept is captivating.

The dialogue is great, natural and believable.

Chapter 3 is something else entirely of course and not really up my street. I admire the imagination you have to invent language but have to admit that I find it irritating, I suppose the only way round it is to have the “extra terrestrials agree to use human speech in preparation but heigh this is a very personal view for me and you must ignore me at this point.

It seems that you have researched the history very well and now we are back in Bonny Scotland. This is a very intricate and well wrought tale and I wish you the very best of luck with it and will be happy to have it on my shelf in recognition of your skilled writing - Diane

Many thanks, Ellen. Will be going over it and 'plumping' it up where needed, and will take care of the 'he' issue. It's finished now; you might find the last chapter confusing, but push thru it and you won't be dissatisfied, I hope.

Enjoyed this for the bit of Scottish history alone. Beautifully written with sensory detail and visual imagery. My only pick is that after you had used "he" for so long, I forgot who "he" was.
Backed,
Ellen

Enjoyed this for the bit of Scottish history alone. Beautifully written with sensory detail and visual imagery. My only pick is that after you had used "he" for so long, I forgot who "he" was.
Backed,
Ellen

Hi Gerry, The history got more and more interesting. Evan really pulled me in with Greaser’s dialogue and his castle keeper father. I wondered if it was a story for boys and then the American couple was on a different tone. So I was really fascinated with the aliens and the changes in style before they landed in Scotland. You have a way with individual expression which renews interest. This is original to me and bodes of a most unusual genealogical history! Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

This is very evocative and picturesque. You've painted an effortless portrait.

Hello Gerry, Well done. This has a unique concept and fits well in your chosen genre. Your writing is very good and I especially liked the description of the globe - I could see it. I also like the setting. My story (A PASSING STORM) is also set partly in Scotland (The Highlands - hence the storm). Nothing much to criticise, so it is on my SHELF.

Phyllis
A Passing Storm

I liked the play on the David Bowie song for the title, but what I really liked about this novel was it accessibility.
Normally i get a little lost in fantasy or Sci-Fi genre's but I found you concentrated much more on the human element of the book which really keep me in the story and continuing with it. Crits, there are a few minor places where you could perhaps polish up some sentences but nothing that really screamed at me. Think you'll be find just to go through it with a usual round of read-through editing.
Confidently Backed.
David
Bailey of the Saints

Wonderful stuff - you set the scene perfectly with a well-thought-out selection of words and keep the reader interested as the plot moves along. I think you have done a brilliant job, and any technical glitches are eclipsed by the strength of the story.

Brilliant,
Abi xxx
"Everyone knows the rule: Stay inside the Wall, but Tisha believes rules are made to be broken." - Relic

Thanks, Cait, as well for the alpha read. I hadn't gone over everything to clean it up. I do overuse 'begin', and mostly to give a sense of urgency, or more likely, action. But it got out of hand. I cleaned it up and used it now for actions that are truly 'beginning'. I got so caught up in the various plot twists and putting myself in the story that I didn't see the forest for the trees. It'll take a while before I can get the chapters re-installed.

This story took on a new life once I got into it, and I find myself living vicariously thru it all. Thanks so much for your time!

Gerry

The Men who Sold the World:

This, I like. Mind you, I’m always partial to books set in Scotland. ;)

Well written with just a bit of tightening needed here and there. I’d try and get rid of as many ‘began to’ phrases as you can. A few examples here to see if you agree. ;)

Began to cut/cut- began buttering/buttered-began to tear/tore-began to beat wildly/beat wildly-began to burn/burned-and began to run/and ran…

He knew/He heard/He turned…suggest rearranging a couple of these He sentence in these close-together paragraphs. Try, - Even though he knew them well, the star at Taurus’ head seemed a little brighter tonight? I don’t think you need ‘but for some reason’? and maybe for the second one, try - Standing nearby, Red whinnied./Red stood nearby and whinnied?

Interesting read, and already backed.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

The Men who Sold the World:

This, I like. Mind you, I’m always partial to books set in Scotland. ;)

Well written with just a bit of tightening needed here and there. I’d try and get rid of as many ‘began to’ phrases as you can. A few examples here to see if you agree. ;)

Began to cut/cut- began buttering/buttered-began to tear/tore-began to beat wildly/beat wildly-began to burn/burned-and began to run/and ran…

He knew/He heard/He turned…suggest rearranging a couple of these He sentence in these close-together paragraphs. Try, - Even though he knew them well, the star at Taurus’ head seemed a little brighter tonight? I don’t think you need ‘but for some reason’? and maybe for the second one, try - Standing nearby, Red whinnied./Red stood nearby and whinnied?

Interesting read, and already backed.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Thanks much, zenup. I've been told my writing style is a little old-fashioned, and maybe that might be a problem in the future. I try to write succinctly and precise when it's another race of people trying to get a handle on English; computer language that is supposed to be exact and other specific usages. When colloquialisms are called for, however, the gloves are off! But I may have mixed them a little too much. Thanks for the constructive insight - Gerry

Very interesting premise (has an original feel to it). I personally thought the writing style old-fashioned but you definitely got my interest @ Ch 3. Tracing ancestry IMO taps into a universal need-to-know, another big plus for your story. Backed. I hope this does well.

Very interesting premise (has an original feel to it). I personally thought the writing style old-fashioned but you definitely got my interest @ Ch 3. Tracing ancestry IMO taps into a universal need-to-know, another big plus for your story. Backed. I hope this does well.

The Men Who Sold the World

First what a very impressive fertile imagination this story is very impressive.
I think the grounding in the early narrative sets this book up perfectly and creates a real base not often found in this genre. The whole structure in this very good; the balance between dialogue and narrative, woven with, as I said, an impressive storyline. In your characterisation there are great phrases that flesh the characters out (built for computers). This is a very polished story.

THE MEN WHO SOLD THE WORLD:

Gerry,

There's no doubt about it: You are a born story-teller, and you can write.

Action from the first line. Great descriptions and lively, realistic dialogue. There's an immediacy and freshness to your writing that makes this a really good read.

Backed.
Sheila,
Pinpoint

What an imaginative story. Good characters. Good settings. Fantasy fans will eat this up. I'm adding it to my book shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Gotta love those sentient computers. You have mastered the long pitch but I think you can a bit more tighter on the shorter pitch. Being Authonomy's #1 commentator, trust me, spend some time on your pitches I cannot overemphasize how you need to master this basic sales technique to grab the casual reader. That's how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

I must admit I'm not fond of sci-fi set on another planet. I think I'm in the majority of readers here apart from sci-fi fanatics. But set on this one, well, that's different, because there's always a chance it could happen. And when the settings and atmosphere are described as wonderfully as in this book, the reader hopes it will. It's a pleasure to travel with Evan. Brilliant. Backed. lynn

This is a hugely imaginative tale told by someone who clearly understand the mechanics and craft of writing. Evan is an interesting character and the closing lines of the opening chapter make you desperate to read more. This pace and style continues into chapters two and I found myself being lost in your world. This is quality writing and I wish you all the best with it. Carl. The Time Hunters

Thanks! From your bio, it looks as if you would like it! Check back occasionally, I'm still working on it!

An interesting idea. Liked the opening characterizations. You reeled me in - which is a good thing.

Why, thank you! If ya never been to Bonnie Scotland, I highly suggest it, especially if ya like history - almost everything there has a deep history. I'm still working on it - its got so many ways it can go!

What an interesting concept! I love the history that is in this, not only do I learn about someplace I've never been, it makes for some pretty awesome scenes and backdrops for the story. The characters are great, the technology is realistic and your narrative style is such a pleasure to read. Basically, I am really liking this! It feels like a rare gem among other stuff I've read today!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

What an interesting concept! I love the history that is in this, not only do I learn about someplace I've never been, it makes for some pretty awesome scenes and backdrops for the story. The characters are great, the technology is realistic and your narrative style is such a pleasure to read. Basically, I am really liking this! It feels like a rare gem among other stuff I've read today!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

An interesting idea. Liked the opening characterizations. You reeled me in - which is a good thing.

Interesting story, weaving extra-terrestrials and Olde Scotland together with modern times, and computer internet ancestry searches. All interesting in themselves.
phil 'Eland Dances'

Thoroughly enjoyed. I wish you the very best of luck. kind regards pinkcoffee 'In The Moment' & 'Chameleon'

Backed with pleasure! Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further read and possible backing of your book.

Hi, I backed this again but when I started to read it, I realized that I already had read some. As I mentioned previously, I'll come back to it later and red the whole thing as soon as I have finished with my backing promises. best of Luck, Gerry

There is no genre for historic fantasy of which I am aware. The beginning of the work is set far into the past, and the date prompted me to recheck the genres because the prose leads so well into an historic concept. I especially liked the pace prompted by the evenly balanced paragraphs. An excellent read. Thanks for sharing. Backed. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures)

Thanks for the comments! I 'flit' between POV's on purpose, to keep the reader on his feet. I thought the progression in time from 1300's to the present of the killer's deeds would build suspense and direction. The Rolai's differences in language were on purpose, too, as it seems trite to me to have them speak English totally - maybe a mistake on my part, but I felt it helps bridge the gap a little. I thought I'd give them 4 names - why three, really? Maybe a fourth denoted their place of birth, or a religious name, or an ancestral name.

Really like writing about Scotland. Only place out of the US I've been (except Niagara Falls, and no one really counts that as another country, over here!). Love the place, as I have a Scottish background.

Glad you liked it - going slowly, as work and real life interrupts too often.

I live in Scotland, it's nice to see the places that I know come to life in your writing. I struggled a little with the alien chapter (I read up to chapter 6), mainly with the names and the alien references to common objects (although I did get the gloves reference) and I also struggled a little with the frequent changes of POV. Other than that, this was well written and looks like it it going somewhere interesting.

Good luck with it. Backed - I'd like to see it after an edit.

I live in Scotland, it's nice to see the places that I know come to life in your writing. I struggled a little with the alien chapter (I read up to chapter 6), mainly with the names and the alien references to common objects (although I did get the gloves reference) and I also struggled a little with the frequent changes of POV. Other than that, this was well written and looks like it it going somewhere interesting.

Good luck with it. Backed - I'd like to see it after an edit.

Well, you got me with subject matter--anything to do with Scotland and genealogy looks good to me. A good thing that you also write well!

Good luck,
SC Dwinnell, "Nobody Liked to Say"

Hi there, This reads well and I liked the fact it's set in Scotland. I love to read words printed in the Scots dialect as it is so rich and makes me feel a little homesick. Best of luck with it.

Wow - this is so well crafted! You have a great sense of pacing with the ability to hook the reader immediately! Quite and imagination as well with a gift for putting down on paper! BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

I'm adding you to my WL. Hope to read "The Men Who Sold the World" shortly.

Thanks,
SC Dwinnell, "Nobody Liked to Say"

I'd love to - but seem to be having a hard time finding books by name. Is there a 'search' function for individual book names? I'd hate to go thru 3000 or more books. Let me know if you know, will back yours - have a great day - Gerry

I would appreciate your backing for Twin Beeches -- an Illinois Love Story. It is classified partly as both historical fiction and history. I think you would enjoy it enough to back it. I will, of course, reciprocate.

A terrific book which is full of good reading, this is for me, definitely. I backed your book earlier but had to leave commenting until I had more time, Gerry. I have just had another read, but will have to get on with some work.
Good luck, this is great.
Norman. The Witch of Hambone books 1,2,&3. And, muddledydo.

Your characters come real off the page,
the story is enthralling and seems worked
and re-worked.
Shelved with pleasure.
In the pitch 'are' not 'ar'.
Lotsa luck mikegilli The Free