Murder on the Menu

Hi Micheal,

Beautifully written details in solid storytelling. Backed with pleasure!

Best Regards,
January

There is nothing worse than a mystery with no ending. You have to finish it! If I could sum it up in one word, it would be “Classy.” Elegantly written, great characters, and tasteful, yet witty dialogue.

Backed.

Gregory James

Favourite line(s) ‘ . . The body is beautifully fresh . . .’ !!! waaah, ghoulish relish ! :D
In fact, the pathologist is great fun, dry. Also like the opening to chapter 6, the forensic team moving ghostlike in the dim light. Very visual.
Good luck with it !

An enjoyable read. I liked the way you introduced the characters before the meal. I was busy trying to work out which one would be murdered.
It was strange that the two men Ann invited knew Tom and also arrived at the same time. Perhaps they would murder Ann because she talked so much or maybe Chris because of a bad business deal or even jealousy at having such a large house? I suspected we needed Donna to survive to lead the investigation, but is she a bit too close to Chris? Then the murder of Tom's former partner adds to the mystery and I wondered if Jane knew something about it?
I was trying to keep track of everyone when they went out to the bathroom etc and you deliberately made it confusing. So it was Tom who was murdered. So who did it? That chisel is involved. Is that the one the young apprentice was using? What did the Celtic designs mean? Perhaps Kate took it when she tidied up at the factory? She could have a jealousy of Jane and want a part in the business. Or maybe Jane pretened to lose it? And I wonder why the chisel was used?
Oh dear, you've confused me.! But I'll enjoy reading more of this when I've a bit more time. Thanks for breathing life into the traditional style murder mystery.
I have only one small suggestion that may increase the pace: I think you sometimes put in details that are not really needed. Perhaps you put them in for a reason that becomes clear later in the story, but I'm thinking of the very detailed directions to the house and a few others things such as the laying of the table or Ann's phonecalls. Just a suggestion.
I will back this.
Cherry G.
The Girl from Ithaca

Without a doubt this is a real breath of fresh air: a thriller in the traditional style, excellently written and, thankfully for the day and age we live in, none of the sleaze or four-letter expletives which seem to be the form of writing we get foisted on us each day. "Murder on the Menu" is totally the classic form of who-dunnit that so many of us are seeking vain for most of the time. Can't wait to see the book in the proper binding and getting a chance to get the thriller genre back to where it should be: At the top of the bestsellers' list.
Tomdarra ("Bungalow")

Tis murder, Irish style. Actually it's cosy style in the closed set of, say, Agatha Christie.

Chris and Ann host a dinner party, mainly for one of Chris's business associates. A few others attend as well, including a Detective Sergeant. Unfortunately, chapter 5 proves unfortunate for the businessman… he's stabbed.

Can you figure out who? Backed!

Bravo! Great way to set up the dinner party and explain the characters. Has an Agatha Christie ring to it. Enjoyed and will recommend.
Dina of Last Degree and Halo of the Damned

Great intro. Reminiscent of Agatha Christie. Look forward to read.
Dina of Halo and Last Degree

Very enjoyable read .... clever and funny. Thanks and good luck with your book.

Michael,
The plot gives me chills. I love a good mystery, especially ones with a closed setting and few characters.
I love the idea and I hope to have plenty of time to read on and give you more feedback =)
Can't wait to see the ending!!!!
-Cassie Bondie
The Mentors

A fine murder mystery seeking answers and an end to the caper.
Tom Balderston
The Wonder of Terra

Yay finally around to commenting . . . as much as mystery is not my favorite genre, I do love your cast of characters and the seemingly benign situation that sets the whole thing in motion. It's a bit hard to judge a mystery without an ending, but you have a good start. I especially love the dr, great character I could picture being central to a spin-off (would that be the right term for a book??) Good luck.

You have a good start, but you need a hook to finish it so it is not the same as a lot of other murder mysteries. Best of luck with your continued writing. Remember December Gold in your reading and comments.

Hi MIchael

Your pitch promises a good old-fashioned murder mystery and you certainly deliver! I love the Irish setting and the way you weave the background into the dialogue, while suggesting the currents that underlie the husband-wife relationship. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

Well written novel with a reality feel so often lacking in this day and age. Will read more. backed with pleasure

Raven

Like what I read so far. backed with pleasure. Lizzie Scott :-)

Hi Michael,

This has all the ingredients of a 'Agatha Christie' classic and should do well among those who like her stories - and there are quite a few of them despite the stories being dated.

The only thing I would comment on is that you take a little too long to get into the story. In the first section too much time is wasted on details the reader doesn't need to know. For example, when Ann phones Kean to tell him about the party, obviously he needs to know the directions to the house, but is there any reason we need to know them? Unless these details are going to become relevant later in the story, all you need to write is 'she gave him the directions.

There are a few other sections similar to this and by omitting them where you can, you get to the real story quicker and keep the reader interested.

Ron

I've only read the first few chapters but I'm liking it so far. I like the style of your writing, the way you switch between the lives of the guests keeps your readers interested. I'm going to back this but I will keep it on my watchlist for now because I want to read more.

Lacey

If you like Agatha Christie and the game 'Cluedo/Clue' there is a good classic whodunnit set-up here. The writing is straightforward and paced as a Christie classic - not too racy - in later chapters a few of the paragraphs seem to have corrupted slightly on uploading (missing one or two hard returns) and chapters become longer, but the dialogue and description is clean, un-fussy, and it shouldn't interrupt your enjoyment if this is your kind of read.

Best wishes, Lisa (Death And The City - apologies for the delay in replying!)

Dear Michael

What a good book.
I started reading this some time ago and just wanted to let you know, now finished.
I have already commented and backed your book a while ago, but cannot see the backing anywhere. So i am taking the time to back it again because I believe your book is WORTH IT

BEST OF LUCK
Denise

Put it onto my watchlist. Looking forward to it.

Thanks for asking me to come read this! I have read some and like what I've read so far! I am WL this so I can come back for me and I will back it soon :)

Michael,

I haven't had a chance to read as much of your book as I'd like, but I wanted to let you know what I HAVE read so far I've really enjoyed! I like the thriller genre, and you've added more detail than I usually see... which makes it even better in my opinion. Your descriptions are vivid but they didn't slow the pace for me at all. Well done. Backed!

Good luck with it!
Tessa

Michael,

Love the banter between Chris and Ann - your dialogue is true and entertaining and this couple is an interesting pair. Backed. CW (To Save the Sun)

Hi Micheal, I read on with Chapter 4 and 5. The interplay at dinner seemed a little furtive except that these people know each other well. And that comes across well with the dialogue. I thought the murder scene and the women arguing, Donna slapping them, the reactions of the others came off very well. After the socializing and dialogue, I’m a stymied and speculating! Shelved again – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Agree with other comments and it is about time there were more traditional murder mysteries. I love them, but not many people actually write them anymore.
Good luck with yours, I enjoyed it.
Carole Pitt

Micheal,

I'm a big fan of murder mysteries, and I love the 'Clue'-like arrangement you've set up here. From your synopsis, I expected a little bit more humor regarding the proceedings. The characters seemed to take the evening very seriously, and I think I'd think a little more dark humor in this to keep it popping. A small note for a tightly-written piece.

Nice work! Backed!

Kevin Alex Baker
Head Games

This is a traditional whodunit with the murder taking place during a dinner party. It's difficult to say anything that hasn't already been said in other comments. I certainly agree that it's about time there were more of these novels back in the bookshops. The opening introduces the dramatis personae, sets the scene and possibly drops in a few clues. We then come to the actual dinner with, again possibly, a few more clues sprinklied about, and then... the murder. The movements of all the suspects are described in some detail before, during and after the act. But do we really know who was where at the time of the murder? Who had a motive? What are the real relationships between the suspects? Who stole the murder weapon? When did they steal it? Are the thief and the murderer the same person?

This a great read and is highly recommended.
Backed.
Bill Booker, Trippers.

Michael

Nice, easy flowing, classic 'whodunnit' (note on spelling for the last sentence of your pitch!)

I felt it got into its stride in part 4 of Ch I - until then I wondered if you were writing a play with minimal stage directions, you relied so much on dialogue!

Perhaps you'd take a look at Dying for Love - murder mystery of a different style to yours?

Colin Eston

An enjoyable read. My husband likes this kind of genre.
Backed,
Bamboo Promise

A wonderful crisp easy read is a delight. The storyline is beautifully crafted with interspersed dialogue and scene changes. Backed. Chuck (Literary Agent Blues) (Uboat Officer)

Two things I noticed about your pitch:

You misspelled "whodunit."
Also, remove the last line. Leave the decision as to whether the novel is "clever" to the reader.

You have a good descriptive narrative and likeable characters. The dialogue seems a bit tight though, perhaps a bit too formal.

In the first paragraph, you might want to move the mention of where Ann and Chris are to the first line. It seemed out of place there. Also, her tone wasn't absent-minded, she was. Reflect that.

I do find that this is not a very original idea. And these days, you have to have something original before an agent or publisher will even look at it. Murders at dinners is a very common theme. They even have restaurants where you can part of the crime!

Best of luck with it.
Mike

What a grand beginning. I can relate to the opening line from a previous life's experience I don't want to get into right now. Your handling of dialogue is at excellent pitch. Some of the narrative seems a bit awkward. One instance that stands out because it is right on the heels of your opening, is the fourth paragragh beginning with 'This conversation took place'. Personally, I would consider restructuring the paragraph. There are a few other minor glitches in the narration, >'Its houses are therefore much sought after.<, for instance, but all in all these are minor although you might want to tend to them in your next run through. I like this a lot. Shelved

G
Einstein's Road Trip [I would be interested in seeing your take on Einstein if time allows. Thanks.]

Hi! I absolutely love this title! Sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner...Murder on the Menu-great! Did you enter the Anthony Bourdaine Contest at all? I tried. I have backed your book - hope they pick it up....
email me anytime! Debra Darven

Building up very nicely to a classic whodunnit. You've outlined the guests, and set the table so to speak, for an excellent murder mystery. Great dialogue and an easy flow. Backed with pleasure!

Craig Ellis,
The Sun and the Saber

This was a reaslly good read. It moves along at a good pace, dialogue is good, easy to read, and u have a nice style to your work. Backed - Clair

I had a hard time following the dialogue, knowing which character was speaking, etc. Also, keep an eye on tense and perspective. An example would be in the first few paragraphs when you have the sentence that starts with "Dublin is a base for..." it feels out of place. It should be part of a paragraph, and not a standalone sentence. Just my humble opinions, and I hope you take them with the good spirit they are intended. Good luck.

Al right , all right...I've had the appetizer, the first course and the main entree.....I GOTTA HAVE THE DESSERT!!!!
Who is the killer??????
Excellent story line and presentation!
BACKED!

yes yes now i remember. I'm sorry, i've just been caught up with all the messages and comments that i didnt get a chance to back or comment your book. It's like no other i might add. Hard to forget about. So heres me backing it. Thanks alot!
Xenton-W.M.

Hi Micheal - Just checked out the first three chapters of 'Murder On The Menu' as promised.
Looks good. Well crafted, nicely paced, nice detail and good dialogue. Liked the pitch and good to see some different cover art too. Backed.
Adrian Lee

I loved your pitch. I knew that this would be my sort of story, and I wasn't disappointed with your writing either. It's so easy to read. The pace is just right and your characters are developing nicely. Would love to read more. Backed.
Jennie (Lies and Betrayal)

Fantastic setting up of the story and the dialogue between the characters is extrememly realistic - I can really imagine their voices in my head. Definitely a book that I would enjoy taking home with me to read on a quiet night as I tried to guess and pick up clues along with the Detective.

Definitely backed.

Ray

Hi Michael
Thanks for backing 'That Old Devil'. I haven't read all your book yet - but I promise to. I like the premise of your story and the pitch was great - definitely made me want to read it. I can picture Ann and Chris perfectly - that comes across really well. What I'd suggest is that you need to do more 'showing' than 'telling' - in the first chapter you give us a lot of information about the characters (e.g. when they're talking about Kate, Chris says: "Yes this will be her first visit if she comes") - I feel that you could bring that in when she actually arrives at the dinner.
Just my thoughts though. I will read on shortly.
All the best.
Mandy

Hi Michael
Thanks for backing 'That Old Devil'. I haven't read all your book yet - but I promise to. I like the premise of your story and the pitch was great - definitely made me want to read it. I can picture Ann and Chris perfectly - that comes across really well. What I'd suggest is that you need to do more 'showing' than 'telling' - in the first chapter you give us a lot of information about the characters (e.g. when they're talking about Kate, Chris says: "Yes this will be her first visit if she comes") - I feel that you could bring that in when she actually arrives at the dinner.
Just my thoughts though. I will read on shortly.
All the best.
Mandy

Hi Michael
Thanks for backing 'That Old Devil'. I haven't read all your book yet - but I promise to. I like the premise of your story and the pitch was great - definitely made me want to read it. I can picture Ann and Chris perfectly - that comes across really well. What I'd suggest is that you need to do more 'showing' than 'telling' - in the first chapter you give us a lot of information about the characters (e.g. when they're talking about Kate, Chris says: "Yes this will be her first visit if she comes") - I feel that you could bring that in when she actually arrives at the dinner.
Just my thoughts though. I will read on shortly.
All the best.
Mandy

Micheal,

A nice light hearted story, almost in the Agtha Christie tradition, I suppose.

A few observations you may care to consider:

--some of the setting information (references to the type of house, the suburb they live in) breaks the flow, let this information come out naturally;

--in a similar vein, some of your dialogue is disguised exposition and the disguise isn't always convincing (for example the exchange about Donna still being a Detective); and

--watch out for having more than one character's dialogue in a paragraph, it can get confusing.

Good luck with this, I'm giving it a quick spin on my shelf.

I really enjoyed your writing style, and found myself wrapped up in the plot. I will be back to read more soon. Best of Luck. bambers;)

Hi there, fellow Authonomy-topian. If you enjoy historical spy/thrillers and would like to know how two former dogs-of-war plan to assassinate the world’s foremost dictator…come take a look at To Kill a Dead Man.

Hi Michael.

Thumbs up.

Your book has got the solid mixture of elements for a good literary writing. While, I was reading it, I felt all the emotions. I felt the friendhsip chitchats, comedy, suspense, thrill, trauma and the passion to discover the truth of the crime. The characters are believable and the storyline is very comprehensive. I admire your creative mind and the quality of your idea.

Good luck to you and your writing career.

Fletch
STORIES FROM A LEAKING MIND

Watchlisted-I will have a read as soon as I can. Janine-"Helens-of-Troy."

Michael I have read all of what you posted of this wonderfully written murder mystery. I aam going crazy knowing I won't know if I am right about who I think the killer is..I love this stuff, reminds me of the Thin Man Series or Miss Marple even Agatha Christie...You simply must post more.

You have quite a cast of characters and it can go in several directions. I like the pace and descriptives, as well as the touches of humor. There is an ease to your writig which immediately gets the reader comfortable and invovled.

I really enjoyed this and would be happy to read the rest if you decide to upload more so please let me know.

Backed with pleasure, I knnow this will do well Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

Very Agatha Christie in nature and as fun a read as the lady herself. I'm crap at picking the killer and here I'm no different. A maze of mystery. backed.

My response may be different than that of others. I think you have too much detail. The dialog includes too much minutia that would be self-evident to the parties speaking. Much of the detail is not required for the reader either. The issue becomes pacing. This form of fiction requires fast movement balanced by an occasional largo.

Your writing is elegant however and I do not advise surrendering that quality in the quest for pacing. Reader love texture even when they're anxious to fly along in a story.

I wish you the best and I happily put you on my watch list.

Bob

[What I've written myself is a "different cuppa." Have a look if you have the time. I'd appreciate you thoughts.]

Slan go foill.

To be honest, I think there is too much introduction of characters. Consider starting the story at Chapter 4, and using a little back story as each person enters. That makes it get moving much faster, and gets us gradually invested in the characters. I think you have a great attention to detail, but the act of everyone getting phone calls and going about their day/week is a little tedious. Those can be little vingettes that become appropriate as you go through the story.

Not a bad start to a story at all - just my own preference would be to start a little closer to the action.

I like cosy murder stories and murder on the Menu looks like it will be one with plenty of possible subjects arriving on the scene. While the story is well written and generally moves along well, I feel at the beginning you have gone into perhaps a little too much detail about Chris and Ann's business, which seems to slow the story down. I feel most of it could be dispersed further into the story. I'll back your book. All the best with it.
Laurel
www.authorsden.com/laurellamperd