Eden's Guest

Creative. Fascinating. Flows really well. Good character development. Suspense and majesty all rolled into one story. Very nice. I recommend it. (And, of course, he drives a Mustang!)

Hello Vicki!

I am absolutely enthralled by the vivid descriptions of the sinless world. I virtually read "cover to cover" what you have uploaded so far and was left with a hunger to experience so much more! I love the ironies borne out of innocence, probably best exemplified in the account of the giant spider.

What an amazing book! Blessings to you!

James

Hi, Vicky – this is your CCRG review from Audrey.

I am very intrigued by your pitches. A world without sin? Seems too good to be true! But how would our world have revolved without sin?

Hmmmmm.

I like your prologue. I think you really have a grasp of what a prologue should accomplish, what it’s for. It has whet my appetite further for the story you are about to tell, and gives me a bit of an entrance to the worlds of your book.

I want to take Carter’s class!! I’m going to have to try to come up with the public school equivalent of pelting students with manna. I subbed today and had a few nappers.

Amber Bradley and Bradley James?

In chapter three we meet Euphonie and learn about her problems. We just had a fairly juicy, informative chapter about Carter, and then we get a much shorter segment on her. It’s also mostly narrative and telling. Should these two chapters be more balanced? (I have no idea.)

You’ve got the word magnificent in neighboring paragraphs in chapter 4.

I absolutely love the imagery in Chapter 4. You’ve presented enough hints about a world without sin that I’m asking myself all kinds of questions about what else I might see in the text. Writers strive to create this because readers need it. You've got it.

“You have recorded the words of God…” What a beautiful paragraph.

In Chapter five, the story really comes alive. What I am hearing on the forums and perceiving from the reviews I get is that agents and publishers generally read no more than the first and second chapters. If that’s really the case, then some of the fantastic material in chapters 4 and 5 must come sooner. What background knowledge about Carter can be brought in as a flashback? The text about him takes up a lot of that precious first chapter real estate.

This is a remarkable work. I wish you all the best with it!!

~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Wow, this is a wonderful book and truly creative. It is refreshing to read and allow your mind to speculate as to what a world without sin would look like. I particularly like how the perfect world is not just people standing around singing songs all day, but that in a perfect world things are more exciting and fun not less. Perhaps this book while be interesting and entertaining can give us a better understanding of how awesome heaven will be. It is nice to learn from fiction books.

There's a yearning in this book that inspires something similar in us. The world without sin you depict is delightful. The idea of it is moving. You've attempted an ambitious theme. You must be a talented writer because you've succeeded. Backed. Lynn

I really enjoyed what I have read so far your writing is smooth and engaging. An interesting twist, really descriptive scenes keep the reader's attention. Iam commited to reading more on my watchlist and a sprinkling of stars for you.

Dear Vicki, this is your CCRG review from Kerrie. I have now read the six chapters and was intrigued and engrossed in the story. Some of your descriptions are exquisite.
The first chapter is certainly a good 'hook' for the story. Any of us who are teachers could hardly help but be envious of Carter. I did feel a little let down in the chapter about Euphonie and her mother. It took me a little while to understand what it was about, and I felt the dialogue was a little weak.
From chapter four onwards is a beautiful portrayal of what a sinless earth could look like. It feels so much like 'home' - like when we sit in His Presence and breathe in the lightness and freshness of a heavenly atmoshere.
Two minor things to bring to your attention: 1. I am still puzzled by the word 'roiled' which you've used twice. I thought it was a spelling mistake the first time, so I looked it up and found it is a word, but it seems to have contradictory meanings. 2. After you quote Genesis 2:8 in the last chapter, you have Carter without the 'r'.
I loved the expression of 'timelessness is approaching time'. It will be on my bookshelf next week.

Kerrie Price
THE GOD PLEASERS 40 day Study Guide

Hi Vicki,
I've only read two chapters, but you certainly have me hooked! I love your descriptive writing, your 'outside of the box' theme and your obvious grasp of Christian insight and understanding. I have rated your book with six stars, and will put it on my bookshelf soon.
Just check your spelling in chapter 1: "Steam and praise tunes roiled from the shower stall."
Please take a look at THE GOD PLEASERS 40 day Study Guide. It is non fiction, but easy reading.

Very creative and interesting. I will read to the end.
Well done Vicki and all the best.

I read part of your book it.
I like the scope of the opener, it draws interest.
It is interesting how it goes to the first chapter. I wasn't expecting that at all the switch between time periods. It was good!
Your words are very well chosen.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. When you have time, please take a look at my Christian pirate adventure Driving Winds. :)

Vicki, this is amazing!! PLEASE please post more chapters!!! I love the characters and your descriptions of both worlds. You've made your characters complex and so interesting....I stopped trying to critique I got so engrossed in the story. Is this a finished novel?
Carrie
Broken Warriors

EDEN’S GUEST
This is a good story. I always think of people who attend or teach at Bible Colleges to be so interested in the curriculum they wouldn’t have time for fun, so this was an education as well as a good read for me. Carter is a great character; don’t all of us wish we’d had a teacher as innovative as he is. I’m adding this to my shelf. Wannabeawriter. Who Killed the President?

I like the perfect world you describe in the book.
Who'd have thought Utopia was possible?
It inspires me to want to create it.
We can have a better world.
All we need is a book like yours to guide us.

A wonderful Christian fantasy novel. The "what if" theme allows us to explore so much more deeply the implications of a fallen world and what the finally redeemed one must look like. Genesis itself is a treasure trove, largely untapped, for Christian fiction writers. Hats off to Vivki Edwards for producing this treasure.

Kent North

Thank you, Diana,
This is the highest compliment...that it makes you long for heaven. It is complete. I will try to get more uploaded. Thank you again for your comments. Blessings,
Vicki

QUOTE] Vicki, This is a review for the Christian review and critique group.

The six chapters of Eden’s Guest that you have posted are really very wonderful. After reading so many books from different genres I was glad to finally find yours. The setting, the character’s, the life-style made me feel as if I were home. This is familiar and comfortable ground. I literally leaned back and basked in the wholesomeness of it. I love the concept. It is so unique. Although I’ve always wondered what earth would be like without The Fall, my imagination could never quite take me there. I’m so glad yours did. This book makes me long for heaven even more.

I loved the quick, positive pace in the beginning, and Carter is an awesome character. No wonder he was “chosen.” The dialogue is fun and natural and where I come from, very real. I suppose eastern Europeans would think this is not authentic. Unfortunately, most have not been blessed to realize the effects of living in “one nation under God.” (but our country is changing rapidly, isn‘t it?)

Your writing is smooth and polished. There was nothing there to trip me up. This book was a real pleasure to read. Is it completed? I’d love to read more!

Highly Starred!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Vicki, This is a review for the Christian review and critique group.

The six chapters of Eden’s Guest that you have posted are really very wonderful. After reading so many books from different genres I was glad to finally find yours. The setting, the character’s, the life-style made me feel as if I were home. This is familiar and comfortable ground. I literally leaned back and basked in the wholesomeness of it. I love the concept. It is so unique. Although I’ve always wondered what earth would be like without The Fall, my imagination could never quite take me there. I’m so glad yours did. This book makes me long for heaven even more.

I loved the quick, positive pace in the beginning, and Carter is an awesome character. No wonder he was “chosen.” The dialogue is fun and natural and where I come from, very real. I suppose eastern Europeans would think this is not authentic. Unfortunately, most have not been blessed to realize the effects of living in “one nation under God.” (but our country is changing rapidly, isn‘t it?)

Your writing is smooth and polished. There was nothing there to trip me up. This book was a real pleasure to read. Is it completed? I’d love to read more!

Highly Starred!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Vicki,
This is exciting and heart pounding from the beginning. This explodes on the pages and into my mind as a vivid and detailed a world as any. Congratulations on writing such a fantastic novel. I look forward to seeing it in print.

Blessings,
Laura A. Diaz
"They Call Me Blanca"

Vicki,
I enjoyed reading the first several chapters of your book. What a great concept - a world with no sin. I loved reading Euphonie's reaction when Carter talked about being afraid the spider would bite him.

Great character development and descriptive scenery. Very enjoyable subject matter.

Shelved and 6 stars!

God bless you on your path.
Julie Van Meter

Hi, Vicki!
I noticed we were in the same Christian critique group and stopped by to read your first chapter. I went to a small college that taught Bible classes and had Bible faculty, and many of our teachers and students were a lot of fun as well. :) The thought, "what if no one had ever sinned?" is an interesting concept that mankind has never actually experienced. In your first chapter, you are probably trying to show how "perfect" Carter's life is, and you do show that he is not above mistakes by having Amber stay with him; but I wonder if maybe you could downplay his success a little bit, to make him seem more believable. That might not connect well with the rest of your story, but it's just a suggestion. Thanks for sharing you work. If you have a chance, please check out my novel, Leave Me Asking. Best of luck with your work!
Jonie

Vicki, I love the concept. The writing is well done (see the next paragraph). Carter seemed a little hard to believe at first as being real, but definitely likable, of course, because all the other characters like/love him.

In the initial chapters, the action sometimes jumps without an explanation. For example, Carter's friends showed up at his house to help with Amber but he didn't call them. He started, was interrupted and seemed not to return to the phone.

Scott, "Servant Leadership Practice..."

Thanks for your thoughts, Chris. The question of clothing is one of the many considerations in building Eden thousands of years into the future. I know anyone attracted to this story line would want it to be theologically accurate/bibilically aligned. I have worked to stay true to scripture and have addressed clothing in a later chapter. Other fascinating questions rose up as I was creating this world: how could the earth sustain its population, since no one ever dies here? Would there be competition in a perfect world and what would that look like? How do I build character development into characters who have no apparent flaws? And, (perhaps hardest of all) how will my (fallen world) readers accept the character development of people with no sin in their nature? This work has been a mental playground to be sure! I thank you for reading, offering thoughts and backing Eden. I have some writing deadlines...then hope to be more involved in reading in our new group. As a note of encouragement, my son just published his first book with Kregel. The editor found it on Authonomy! Blessings to you.

QUOTE] Hey Vicki,

This is your CCRG crit from Chris.

The first few chapters seemed very shallow, but let me explain what I mean by that as it could be by design and might be enhanced for the sake of the book. Primarily, the fallen world almost seemed to be painted on a paper bag that might blow away. Relationships seemed to be there but there wasn't really much by which to know the characters. Oddly, Amber, a character we only met in Carter's memories, seemed to be the most rounded out of the characters. The lack of description with regard to Carter's surroundings almost create the sense that the fallen world is this little bubble around Carter that might pop at any given moment and just disappear. I don't know if that is your intention or not, but if you could find a way to enhance that it might be very powerful, much like the difference between black and white scenes and the color scenes in the Wizard of Oz.

I agree that the fifth chapter is where your story really begins to come to life. The descriptions make the world more solid, but I would encourage you to flesh out those descriptions even more (though I understand what a daunting task it is to describe the world you are attempting to describe).

Finally, and this is just a little nit-picky thing that bugs me but that I know other readers will be asking. Why are they wearing clothes in the unfallen world? I am not saying that they shouldn't be wearing clothes, but the question needs to be answered. As an Old Testament professor, I would think that one of Carter's first questions, upon realizing where he has found himself, is "If Adam and Eve didn't eat the fruit and realize they were naked, why would anyone here be wearing clothes of any kind?" This would be especially true if they have a perfect climate as you seem to have described. Without a practical need for clothing or a realization of their nakedness, why are they clothed? Or if I have have simply misunderstood and they are not clothed, why is this not more of a shock to Carter? It seems silly, I know, but it is one of those things that would just jump out at most Old Testament professors that I know (And I do know quite a few). Perhaps, you have an answer to this already and simply haven't written it in yet.

Other than that, I agree that you might find a way to expand the initial chapter with Euphonie in order to make it a little more balanced as a part of the whole, but I think you accomplished in that chapter what you needed to simply for the sake of the story.

Hey Vicki,

This is your CCRG crit from Chris.

The first few chapters seemed very shallow, but let me explain what I mean by that as it could be by design and might be enhanced for the sake of the book. Primarily, the fallen world almost seemed to be painted on a paper bag that might blow away. Relationships seemed to be there but there wasn't really much by which to know the characters. Oddly, Amber, a character we only met in Carter's memories, seemed to be the most rounded out of the characters. The lack of description with regard to Carter's surroundings almost create the sense that the fallen world is this little bubble around Carter that might pop at any given moment and just disappear. I don't know if that is your intention or not, but if you could find a way to enhance that it might be very powerful, much like the difference between black and white scenes and the color scenes in the Wizard of Oz.

I agree that the fifth chapter is where your story really begins to come to life. The descriptions make the world more solid, but I would encourage you to flesh out those descriptions even more (though I understand what a daunting task it is to describe the world you are attempting to describe).

Finally, and this is just a little nit-picky thing that bugs me but that I know other readers will be asking. Why are they wearing clothes in the unfallen world? I am not saying that they shouldn't be wearing clothes, but the question needs to be answered. As an Old Testament professor, I would think that one of Carter's first questions, upon realizing where he has found himself, is "If Adam and Eve didn't eat the fruit and realize they were naked, why would anyone here be wearing clothes of any kind?" This would be especially true if they have a perfect climate as you seem to have described. Without a practical need for clothing or a realization of their nakedness, why are they clothed? Or if I have have simply misunderstood and they are not clothed, why is this not more of a shock to Carter? It seems silly, I know, but it is one of those things that would just jump out at most Old Testament professors that I know (And I do know quite a few). Perhaps, you have an answer to this already and simply haven't written it in yet.

Other than that, I agree that you might find a way to expand the initial chapter with Euphonie in order to make it a little more balanced as a part of the whole, but I think you accomplished in that chapter what you needed to simply for the sake of the story.

Hi, Vicky – this is your CCRG review from Audrey.

I am very intrigued by your pitches. A world without sin? Seems too good to be true! But how would our world have revolved without sin?

Hmmmmm.

I like your prologue. I think you really have a grasp of what a prologue should accomplish, what it’s for. It has whet my appetite further for the story you are about to tell, and gives me a bit of an entrance to the worlds of your book.

I want to take Carter’s class!! I’m going to have to try to come up with the public school equivalent of pelting students with manna. I subbed today and had a few nappers.

Amber Bradley and Bradley James?

In chapter three we meet Euphonie and learn about her problems. We just had a fairly juicy, informative chapter about Carter, and then we get a much shorter segment on her. It’s also mostly narrative and telling. Should these two chapters be more balanced? (I have no idea.)

You’ve got the word magnificent in neighboring paragraphs in chapter 4.

I absolutely love the imagery in Chapter 4. You’ve presented enough hints about a world without sin that I’m asking myself all kinds of questions about what else I might see in the text. Writers strive to create this because readers need it. You've got it.

“You have recorded the words of God…” What a beautiful paragraph.

In Chapter five, the story really comes alive. What I am hearing on the forums and perceiving from the reviews I get is that agents and publishers generally read no more than the first and second chapters. If that’s really the case, then some of the fantastic material in chapters 4 and 5 must come sooner. What background knowledge about Carter can be brought in as a flashback? The text about him takes up a lot of that precious first chapter real estate.

This is a remarkable work. I wish you all the best with it!!

~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

very original premise which you manage to execute very well....! 5 stars...

Creative. Fascinating. Flows really well. Good character development. Suspense and majesty all rolled into one story. Very nice. I recommend it. (And, of course, he drives a Mustang!)

Good beginning. Great sense of humor. Dialogue flows nicely. Look forward to the rest.

Hello Vicki!

I am absolutely enthralled by the vivid descriptions of the sinless world. I virtually read "cover to cover" what you have uploaded so far and was left with a hunger to experience so much more! I love the ironies borne out of innocence, probably best exemplified in the account of the giant spider.

What an amazing book! Blessings to you!

James

Oh, and I like the sound of the New Living Translation. Really tells it like it is.

This is good. It sits well in its genre and has a style that is very readable. I liked the beginning with the conversation between God and Satan, and the idea is a good one. I liked meeting Carter. He is a likeable character, not too stereotyped, but believable and rounded. I've read three chapters as I write this and about to read to the end of what you've put up. Anymore coming?
Cariad.

Very Inventive,,rating it highly and putting it on my list.. Now on to chapt 2 !

I am not really a religious person, but I have really enjoyed reading this book. It doesn't read like a Bible, yet it shows a new light on the familiar story. I have often wondered what it must be like to live in a 'perfect world', yet if the world was never imperfect, how would we know what we have been missing! The story is well-written, modern enough to appeal to modern young adults, yet still keeps it message. Well Done. Backed and on w'l.

Kate Grimes -LIZZIE -CUPPA TALES -TALES OF WILLOW GREEN -ANNIE

I am definitely intrigued by your book, as it has an interesting premise. I'd like to know what you think of my own manuscript ("The Power of Four"), which I think you'd enjoy.

well done.
j
what every woman should know

A provoking question. If no one ever died, how crowded would it be?
Tom Balderston
The Wonder of Terra

Thanks for the question, Tom. I wrestled with the logistics of this as well. My interpretation as to how earth can sustain a more robust population is addressed briefly toward the end of the uploaded chapters. Blessings to you!
Vicki

A provoking question. If no one ever died, how crowded would it be?
Tom Balderston
The Wonder of Terra

Very interesting subject and new concept in the Christian world we live in. I have always wondered what paradise would have been like and although I differ in opinion as I have been writing a new book called Fire In the Sky which is later in the worlds existance and coming back to paradise after this wourds problems, I have found a middle ground. I like you book and think it will sell well, we all need hope today. Well written and thought provoking. Beth Anne Back for sure.

This is a very ambitious work which you have carried off magnificently. There is a wondeful sense of The Divine Spirit at work here, inspiring you to use your creative potential to shine His love on the world. Brilliantly written, and deserving of a place on my shelf. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Hi Vicki. Nice, wonderful, unique. You have a good consistent story structure, with sentences that flow logically one into another. Refreshing, actually, from a lot that I read here. Love the subject, too, by the way. Very interesting.

blessings,
jim
jack & charmian london

An engaging fantasy story with credible characters. Thought provoking. Wonderful imagery. Sparkling dialogue. Lovely narrative. Intriguing storyline. A pleasure to read. Backed.

Hi Vicki

My spouse has begun to read this book and deemed it " a great book." Would you care to read and comment on 'The Sun and the Saber'? My first chapter is short, and hopefully entertaining! I would return the favour. Backing welcome.

Thanks

Craig

I am interested in your book and am putting it on my watchlist. I will be reading parts of it as soon as I can. In that it is related to the Bible, it perhaps bears some similarity to my own book, which, if you are a Christian, potential Christian, or a thoughtful and objective skeptic in this regard, you might enjoy. Its title is "Things Are Not as They Seem."

Well written.

BACKED

This is some truly brilliant writing, better than I could ever do. You write with such an authority and everything makes sense. This is easy to read and is a joy to read plus I absolutely love your opening paragrah, so important and you nailed it. Backed with great pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

Dear Vicki,
Eden's Guest is an amazing powerful book that deserves a backing and so much more. I love the themes you have woven into your fantasy story which portray and resonate the power of God's love.
All the very best of luck with this one and I wish you much success. I'm sure it will find a huge audience among those who who also love and cherish God.
Backed with pleasure
Helen
The Last Dream

Dear Vicki,
I love the inspirational material you have used for your novel. It shines through like a beacon. I have backed it on the strength of your pitch, and will return with further comments once I have read.
God bless
Helen
The Last Dream

Awesome prolouge that keeps us reading from the first word. C W

I love this concept. It's given me thrills! A wonderful religious fantasy that promises to be as thought-provoking as it is entertaining. Fantastic work, and I've backed with pleasure.

Abi xxx

Jindi, Vicki. Thank you for backing Seka.
I've read a little of Eden's Guest, and I'm reminded Lewis and Peretti. What a herculean task you've taken on, but so far I like what you're doing with the theme of a sinless world and with the characterizations of Lucifer and the Most High. I will be reading more. I've back your book with pleasure.
And in answer to your question, no I'm not in Uganda now, though I yearn to be there.
Sharon
Seka

I loved the prologue! What a great concept, and you write it so well. I can't wait for you to finish it.

Backed and shelved.

Gregory James

I think this is a brilliant pitch and the book is very well written. The first chapter sets up the temptation to befall Carter and in the second chapter we meet him. Very happy to back this book.
BADD

The prologue is FANTASTIC! There is an obliqueness to the dialogue that forced me to read on. By the end when we realize they are going to take one of each person from each world I have all kinds of questions. Whey these people? Who are they? What will happen? Where will they go? What choice do people have? What are they being denied? Very, very good job with this! BACKED!
xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

I just finished and want more! I will buy this book!

I'm beginning your book now. I like your idea and will comment again when I've read it.

Dont you love it when people pitch their book in comments that they leave on yours? I'm all for self promotion but that seems a bit much :-)
Now dont forget to check out my book....

Hi Vicki. I’ve read through the first couple of chapters of your manuscript, and it reminds me a bit of C.S. Lewis' sci-fi trilogy. Your premise is nicely introduced and developed, and the narrative in general is well-paced. The dialog as well has a real feel to it. I'm happy to back this.
Please consider looking at my manuscript, “The Job: Based on a True Story (I mean, this is bound to have happened somewhere)” – I hope you’ll find it something fresh and different in the Christian genre. I’d certainly appreciate your support, but only if you think it has merit.
Thanks,
Craig Davis
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=19440