THE NOODLE TRAIL: Fair Trade, Dung Trade and Other Roadside Surprises in Thailand

Hi Eileen, this is a fantastic insight into Thailand, I have never visited but with your vivid descriptions you really bought the place to life for me. It has a wonderful flow and I just loved that camp monk bit, very entertaining. High stars from me, all the best Karen Faking it in France. x

What a wonderful book,Eileen. I'm so glad I did a search under 'Biography', looking for something fresh. Love the tone, love the the humor, love the warm-hearted embrace of the Thai people.
Only got one chapter read, my bleary eyes can't take no mo' today. Backed it, gave it a six
keep on chuggin'
Michal

Morning Eileen,

I was impressed by the first couple of chapters. Obviously you know Thailand well, and you painted a super atmosphere of the people, climate, food, and its social paradoxes.

There's one or two technical issues I found, all pretty minor:

I believe you're using colons where semi-colons should be employed. In the pitch for example, you say, '...other losses can be survived(:) hers, theirs, and the world's.' I'd frogmarch the colons out of the door unless they precede any types of list. There's a few examples in the opening two chapters where you do this. I'd be feeling pretty unloved and ignored, were I myself a semi-colon.

I think you may have made an error with the 'Kevin From Ireland' cameo in first chapter. The part that says 'Here, I can borrow his computer.' Shouldn't that be, 'Here, you can borrow my computer?'

Apart from those minor crits, very well written. What you've done well is talk about the business climate in easy to understand terms, which is a big plus for a financial spazzy like me. Several stars - and a retention on my watchlist for some fascinating and lyrical descriptiveness.

This has been a somewhat adventure. the tsunami, sea, hotel, taxis, dealing with the native, the food, etc

Eileen, we were briefly in touch in mid 2010, when I was preparing to leave Thailand and retire to Scotland. I started reading your first draft and loved it; reading this, polished and glittering, makes me weep with joy and nostalgia. What a gift you have for words and feelings and descriptions. I've just read these five chapters straight through without stopping.

I've only read the begin so far, but I really like this. You have a fantastic gift for "place".
I will read more.

A heartfelt story of a very strong woman who survives all odds, explores the intricacies and intrigues of the orient and loves the ride. She is funny, charming and your story line of her memoirs are very complex and interesting. I have read three chapters and am taken in by the land, its people and her views. Very well written.

Saw this on the agents thread and found it totally engrossing - a natural, friendly and unique voice and an immediately interesting story. Starred and shelved, and I'll be back for more when I just want a good read.

I really enjoyed this. Your descriptions are wonderful, and your characterizations of the people of Thailand are excellent (I especially enjoyed when Boontam assures you she'll drive safely and then tears down the road with you on her motor scooter). Reading this is probably about as close to Thailand as I'll ever get, but this gave me a real appreciation for it.
I have no real constructive advice for you. This is well written and well edited, and very funny. I can tell just by reading this how much you love this country and its people.
Best of luck!
Emily

This is brilliant stuff, the first chapter is really smooth and engaging it built up the interest for the rest of the chapters. I don't know much about Thailand but you describe it beautifully especially the colours and flavours.
Your MC is really interesting your book is on my watchlist looking forward to reading more. Highly starred.

What a great travel book. I now want to go to Thailand. The description of the fruit is totally mouth watering. The tone is great respectful, affectionate and funny. Like the descriptions of the people encountered especially Fruit Man, somwhere between 'your guru and your grandad'. Yep, it you are miserable go and do it in Thailand not Scotland or, indeed, the north of England. Writing is funny, sensuous and flowing. I particularly liked the fizzing queue. Six stars and I will keep the book on my watchlist to read the rest.

An amusing, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Hi Eileen, I loved your writing style alongside the deep problems you highlight with so much wit and humour. Backed. Ame

Eileen, the first chapter is a real treat, as every bit as tasty as the succulent tropical fruits and savoury delights you so vividly describe. I also like the dry sense of humour running through it, and the cartoon references. I particularly loved the last paragraph, and the wonderful sense of precariousness you evoke.
I did spot one typo. 'Shaped like bright red pears, they has a smooth crisp skin'. I also think you could cut 'Shockingly enough' before 'at this point I'm too confused to know' without losing any of the power of that sentence.
It seems fairly obvious that you didn't like my suggestions for your short pitch the other day, but after reading this chapter, my opinion has changed only slightly. I can see how important the Fair Trade aspect of your business is to you. But I still think your pitches do not reflect the quality of the writing in your manuscript. There is a lovely effortless, humorous quality to your writing that the pitches - in their attempt to cover all the different aspects of your story - don't convey. Of course, this is just my humble opinion. But five stars for the sheer deliciousness of it, and I will be back for more.
David

Eileen,
Time constraints mean I have focussed on your short pitch today. Forgive me if any of this comes across as blunt, but if I have any skill as a reader, it is in the editing area. I love your book's title, but I wonder if you are trying to cram too much info into the sub-title. The same applies to the short pitch. Instead of getting a clear, concise hint of the myriad themes of your book, we find ourselves having to sort the wheat from the chaff. The sentence you currently have is rather long-winded and would be much better broken into two. Also I think the phrase 'Fair trade importer' is doing the opposite of what you want. It comes across as a bit worthy. If you have to add anything to comedienne (which I don't think is necessary) 'businesswoman' is more to the point. Actually I've just had a brain wave, although it's entirely possible you won't see it that way! How about something like: Eileen the comedienne travels through Thailand in search of solace, mangoes and food for the soul. But will the joke be on her?
Please let me know if any of the above is useful. If so, I will be happy to look at your long pitch, and don't worry, I still intend to read your first chapter!
David

I loved your book. I loved reading the last few paragraphs in Chapter 5, these were by far the best pieces in the book. I've backed it.

‘Colourful’ is one of those words that can be flung around without meaning much, but in this case, it means a whole world leaping from the page in live 3D and technicolour, to the accompaniment of trumpets, drums, mangoes and giggles. I’m not usually hooked by anything that smacks even vaguely of travelogue, but in this case, it’s so full of energy, humanity and pure entertainment that I found it irresistible.

You’ve launched us straight into the story, and at the same time given us enough back story to provide context (and sympathy) for your MC. It’s well written, and delightfully spiced with quirky and original turns of phrase. For me, though, one of the main attractions is the contrast between this lightness and the more serious and philosophical undertones: your personal journey, with its growing insights; the cultural differences bridged by human similarities; the courage that can follow tragedy. I’d definitely like to read more than the chapters already posted.

My only reservation was that I was bothered occasionally by the mixture of tenses. I know why they’re there, and careful reading makes sense of them, but the speed of the tense-hopping did disconcert me sometimes.

I found a few (very minor) slips, for your next edit.
Ch1 ...from exquisitely constructed pyramid displays, or which has been sculpted... (Not really a slip, but not as fluent as usual)
Shaped like bright red pears, they has...

Ch3 Repetition of ‘salad sets’

Ch3 ...crime, prison and who know what else...
...Roman Catholic upbringing, from which fled in my teens.

Ch4 I see now they’re been storing up
...I don’t really drink much without getting stomach ache...

Ch5 This contrasts I’ve people I’ve seen on the beach...

I’ll be backing this as soon as I can, and meanwhile lots of stars.
Helen Meikle
Six Weeks in Summer

I love your opening, starting with the taxi driver; instantly sets the scene in an interesting way. The back story then makes me care about your main character, and want to read more. Loved your description of the bad break up and avoiding the ex - made me giggle! The description of the scenery was excellent, in particular that of the half finished buildings.
For me, the description of checking in to the hotel and 'foodie alley' was perhaps slightly on the long side - while it painted a vivid picture, I found my mind wanting to wander while I was waiting for something to happen ..... might just be me having a short attention span!!
The next two days moved at a faster pace and Kevin from Ireland sound very intriguing! Overall I loved your writing; the first person / present tense made me feel like I was there and your witty take on the adventure was very easy to read. High stars from me and I look forward to reading more!

Best of luck with it.

Oktober

This book is well written, funny and has some of the best description I have read on this site. I have given "The Noodle Trail a plethora of stars and will promote to my Book shelf as soon as I can. Good luck, Yours Bea

This is lots of fun and very well written. I couldn't find anything to pick on! If you haven't already stumbled upon it, check out Rupee Millionaires on this site for more travel adventures.
Cheers,
Tod Schneider
Lost Wink

The Noodle Trail. I've never been to Thailand. Your short pitch makes me want to read on, but perhaps the long one could be condensed a bit.
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.

Ch.1. The taxi scene makes a good beginning, and I enjoy your brisk style, but the back-story does yo-yo somewhat between Scotland and Thailand and back again. Love that bit about avoiding each other, and the present tense gives it a light immediacy.
I also enjoy that sentence about weeping in the tropics with the cicadas. You have a way with words, and a light sense of humour.
But perhaps you should think about making the journey a bit smoother for your reader. It's rather unnerving being jostled from the taxi, to Scotland, you ed, the recession, the bank, tropical nights, and back to the taxi, all in a few paragraphs.
Your description of the unfinished skyscrapers is superb.
And gems of information abound in the hodge podge, like the five-toned Thai language, among the delicious dripping fruits, the chillies and the noodles, but no knives out of the Kitchen. Then the tunes. All the senses are satisfied and I believe I have a vibrant picture of your Thailand.
Oh - the chapter stops mid-sentence. What's happened?

Ch.2. Just a little nit. You dont need to say the monk isnt happy about going home. The manner of his answer tells it all.
You certainly enjoy your food!
You drift briefly into the past tense when trying the mixed grasshopper and insect pate.
I am enjoying your gentle tale of Boontam and her troubles.

Ch.3. 'We get loaded like potatoes into a minibus.' What an image.
More interesting snippets of information among the colourful divide between rich and poor.
The story of the surplus clothing, and tsunami victims unpicking the threads and weaving them into new patterns for patchwork is intriguing.
Your staccato dialogue is a welcome change from the narrative. I could do with more of it.

I must leave you trying to noodle your way through your conundrum.

Thankyou for an enjoyable read. As a travelogue, it is great. Perhaps the first chapter is a little too heavy with the muddle of backstory which could just as easily be sifted slowly into the journey. But that's only my opinion.

The best of luck with this!
Jane. (Breath of Africa).

Hi Eileen.
Well, I feel like a travelling student again (although I'm aware that Eileen isn't a student...brilliant idea to start in the taxi). Your descriptions are vivid and I felt as though I was sitting right next to her on the train.
As the reader, I want only the very best for her... her voice shines through so earnestly throughout the prose you can't help but like her - she's lovely; she cares! I love, love love the para ending "what's a few tears thrown in?"
Her physical and emotional journey will no doubt be a turning point in her life...and it will be a colourful, vivid journey no doubt.
You are a brave woman writing first person/present tense - you have pulled it off, well done to you!
My only point concerns the length of some of the sentences. On the whole you have done a great job of mixing short, sharp, vivid sentences with the longer, more descriptive ones. But I would have a look through the ms and maybe see where you might be able to keep it a little sharper without losing the wonderful images that you have created...it prevents the reader from drifting a little - just an idea and I could be wrong!
Ps. What is Kevin from Ireland's real name...?

Dear Eileen

I really am enjoying your book, The Noodle Trail..." I like the way you choose a conversational style, easy to read and also well written. Your voice and your spirit just jump off the page.

I would like to see this do well, so that your writing is recognised as solid and interesting, and so that you discover life has a few pleasant surprises in store. I am reading on, and meantime am more than happy to give you high stars.

All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-)

Nice introduction to your characters, that are well rounded and convincing.
The dialogue adds to your writing and fills out this well written piece.
Well-written ending to the chapters that I fell will entice readers to carry on into the next chapter.
I found this a very good read, which is easy to read, and funny.
Well done

hi Eileen,
I found that this is one of the funniest books on this site, while dealing with real issues and drawing our attention to a very different world. Your writing shines and there is an unexpected twist in practically every paragraph, making this a firework experience of book-reading. Great, you're back! Your book is now on my shelf.

Ame
Wolfmother

Hi Eileen
Apologies for the delay in posting my comments-have spent the last week visiting Liverpool, Leeds, Nottingham and Birmingham so have spent far, far too much time driving and nothing like long enough at my laptop.

I love the way we are thrown right into the cab drive and your brilliantly atmospheric description of the opressive heat and the chaos of the city gave me a kind of 'jumping off a cliff into the story' kind of feeling- total immersion right from the start- then you give us the cartoon character jumping off a cliff at the end- very clever!

You feel for her straght away and admire her for the whole emptying her savings account and getting on a plane with no plans thing; you definately want to read on to find out how things turn out .

There is as another post says a lot of information to take in but I feel the touches of humour you include and the vivid descriptions of food in particular give the reader a break from having to concentrate so much and there are just the right amount- hope that makes sense. I'd be interested to read the whole thing.

The only little niggle- not sure that you need to use the phrase 'Normally I see my suppliers every winter' twice in the same paragraph in Chapter one?

If I lived locally I'd accept your invitation to call around for a glass of wine!

Kind regards
Janet

Hi Eileen,
I liked reading Noodle Trail. I didn't expect it to be so cute. A business woman in Fair Trade, down on her luck, lost her husband (or boyfriend - it was vague to me) and decides to blow her dough and return to Thailand for one last business/pleasure trip. I like the part about the Thai Chipmonk Osmonds :-)
You have a good way of telling stories and your descriptions of Thailand are great. You must have been there before. The Fruit Guy was also great to read. I think you should have divided this long chapter one and made your encounter with fruit Guy and Soup Woman the beginning of the next chapter, (IMO). You're making me hungry while reading all this stuff about Thai food - yummm!
Will read more.
This will be on my shelf for a while.
All the best
Kirk
"How to Steal a Lion"

Eileen, in reading part of your book, I found myself transported to a different continent, way of life and culture that has been most thought provoking and enjoyable on different levels. You write with humour, which I was prepared for. Certain images and phrases stick to mind like the pop music playing on the radio in the cab being the 'Asian Osmond family' and your description of the Fruit Guy near the accommodation and the monk on the train. Even though you write with humour, there is also a sombre aspect to the story as we read about the financial hardships and perilous conditions people live under. I feel admiration and respect for Bootam as you describe her struggles and determination to support so many. There is alot of information to absorb, but you write with such vividness and clarity that I am easily able to follow the journey. There was only one point, towards the end of chapter 1 - the paragraph in brackets about the computer/Russian, that I found distracting and hindering the established flow in the story. Apart from that, the story flows with ease, the characters a delight to encounter and Eileen a woman that one wants to follow on The Noodle Trail. A book deserving a high rating. Maria :)

Wow - with a pitch like that, how could I resist beginning to read?

This is going to be a great travel book. The dialogue is brilliant, the language is a delight, and there are great descriptions. The 'trillions of peppery specks' particularly struck me, along with the Thai skyscrapers, the Fruit Guy (and his fruit) and 'my amazed two hands'. And that's only in the first chapter. I was also impressed by the way you got across that choked-up, on-the-edge-of-tears feeling associated with grieving the end of a relationship, and the way it comes out in exaggerated emotional reactions to completely unrelated things. Yet you keep laughing, and never stray into sentimentality or self-pity.

I say 'going to be' because I feel it needs a slight pruning here and there (in particular I'd take out the second to last paragraph in the first chapter, the bit between brackets. Could you recycle it as chapter headings?)

5 stars, and I'll add another if you do that final edit. But I'm watchlisting it anyway for a space on my shelf.

Rosemary
The Girl who was Canada

Hi Eileen
Thank you for the prod telling me that I owed you a crit. I've been off-site for awhile doing a major rewrite. I had forgotten our arrangement. Without the prod I would have missed a thoroughly enjoyable story. Thank you.
I read all five of the uploaded chapters, and found them interesting, colourful and well-written. It bears comparison with "Eat, Pray Love". I haven't read any of the other crits of your work.
I enjoyed a number of passages and phrases in particular. Among my favorites were talking about tears and the tropics in chapter one, the reference to buildings representing a "raggle-taggle herd of dinosaur skeletons", a "hurdle disguised as a milestone" and "not all of Scotland embraces Lord Buddha, I'm told".
I noticed a few small mistakes in the text that missed editing. In chapter three it says "from which fled in my teens". In chapter five I spotted three: "this contrasts I've people I've seen on the beach", "the life he's lead" and "I'm not great meditator".
Although once I felt at the beginning it would have been good to mention something more of the history and culture of the Thais (on the train and their attitude toward the rowdy Chinese), I'm actually glad the story didn't get too bogged down with the standard travelogue background stuff. It seeps out, along with the background of the MC.
I really enjoyed your chapters and again I apologise for the delay in reading them.
Fr. Ambrose

This is great, Eileen! What a fun read. I feel for her in her situation, yet I love her humor and hope that gets her through. I love your concepts: the falling cartoon figure, the skeleton buildings, business cards that make it so she's still there. All good stuff. If this is a true story I really have to give you a great big hug and tell you all will be well. With such determination and faith, of course it will!!!! Truly is filled with hope, and I've only read through the first chapter.

I LOVE asian food!!! So I'm drooling with every descriptive passage about her meals. Would love to be there with her as she's picking from the vendors and enjoy the meals together! :)

All my best to your work! It's fun!
Ellise
~The Governess~

Really good concept for a novel backed up by great writing.
This is absolutely the sort of thing I'd pick up at the book shop.

You're on my shelf already and I'll star it highly now.

Good luck!
Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Thank you so much for your kind comments. I have read Noodle Trail and your book is totally amazing! You open my eyes to a world unseen to me. Not only that, but you have done it with such finesse by breathing life into these memorable characters you have created with the skillfully woven words of someone who is a true storyteller. :)

Much love and blessings to you,
Laura A. Diaz
"They Call Me Blanca"

This is good. Very good. Good-good.
I put this on Wall of Fame on profile page. You see my page. Good-good.

:-)

This is very well written indeed.
You have a wonderful way with words, effortless and easy to read.
More people should read this. I'm putting it up on my profile page.

Regards,
AGC.

Eileen,
This is a great idea and contains many intelligent observations, witty asides and unusual experiences. However, at the moment, it feels like a very early draft and the reader is left wondering what kind of genre they’re dealing with.
Here are some observations on the first chapter.

It works better if you set speech out on separate lines.

Although this isn’t a novel if you started with something like ‘Where your husband?’ it would have more impact. A punchier start, pitches the reader right into the drama, they’re already reading on to find out an answer, they’ve been cued in to the spirit of the book by the Thai’s inaccurate English.

‘one of my life’s top holiday seasons’ feels rather laboured. If life at that point was shit then it probably was the best time to take a break.

I had to read the line ‘While I hesitate to do something I regret ..’ a couple of times to get it.

The paragraph leading up to the final line ‘this will be a good long tough one’ is too dense and might work better if broken up. Keep your list of personal problems apart from the national trauma. Perhaps a sentence beginning ‘Best of all, it is the start of the Winter of 2008..’

Tears in the Tropics is an utterly brilliant riff but could be condensed.

By the time we get to the Thai Osmonds the reader is thinking, when is something going to happen? You’ve begun with a slab of telling/exposition which means the reader might think this is going to be about travels around Eileen rather than travels around Thailand.

The ‘billboards blare’ paragraph has some great ideas but I stumbled over reading it.

The balance feels off. We have the lengthy arrival and then Day Two and Three are dealt with in peremptory fashion – and I know your ill at that point but the content here is very thin. If this is a travel book it’s selling us short on the Thai experience. If it’s autobiography then the reader has to have a reason for sticking with the minutiae of a life – the writer’s famous, notorious, etc. If it’s chick lit there needs to be some love interest.

There are some fantastic pieces in this opening chapter. You have a great ear for dialogue and a good eye for telling detail. At the moment those strengths don’t seem to be deployed to best effect because the focus is off and the reader is left with a hybrid piece of writing that’s part journal, part sketch, part travelogue.
I look forward to seeing how you develop the work. (How is this a biography?)
Gefordson
Nothing you can do.

This brought back a lot of memories. I spent a couple of months in Thailand when I worked for Club Med, and then again on my honeymoon. I love the place and would live there in a second. You evocatively describe the sights/sounds/smells; I could easily imagine myself back there.
I like your honesty regarding your feelings and emotions. Sorry to hear about the demise of your relationship, I hope you are in a better place now.
Highly starred:-)
Tammy Robinson

l like your direct writting style- realistic dialogue and narrative- great pace and story...worth my backing...
read SEASONS...

THE NOODLE TRAIL: Fair Trade, Sex Trade and Dung Trade in Thailand

Title: This, and the extended subtitle promise good fun.

Short Pitch: Good, tells the reader exactly what to expect in a lively way. I did wonder about the word ‘and’ in ‘and travels’; should that be ‘as she travels’? Otherwise it suggests other stuff going on that the reader can’t see.

Long Pitch: It’s too long Eileen isn’t it? The first short paragraph is great but then it gets into an extended 200+ word description of the contents and I don’t think it’s ever good to advertise directly – I mean saying: ‘Her humorous travel journals’. That sort of thing always comes across a bit lame to me. So, it’s a memoir based on a journal.

Main text: I liked this chatty dialogue but I did have to check on this first speech section – you run the cabby speak into your own reply. It didn’t throw me at first but then, after I read it I noticed that maybe I had misread it. In other words it slowed the reader down. Maybe do an edit check for consistency on this. I was warned by one reader who spotted a conflation of character speech in one of my paragraphs – I had the read the whole bloody book to double check, but only found one other. Grrrr.

In a fiction I would probably be going on about the change once we hit the end of this first dialogue but of course it reads fine for this sort of memoir. “If it has to be a grieving season, at least in the tropics you can weep at night, and thousands of cicadas will join you.” Surely this has to be one of the great lines. Certainly one of the better that I have read on this site. Instantly made me go through my own experiences to check and, sure enough, one is, of course, ‘away from home’ in a hot climate and thus finds it easier to cope.

In a novel your explanation of why you are there would constitute some sort of plot dump or whatever, but that is completely irrelevant here so I won’t mention it. Oh. Just to say it’s actually as entertaining as the rest and essential. And NOT a problem. I think you balance it well with the progressing narrative.

I just read on with this. I think it’s only in need of the usual dreaded edit to tighten up those little confusing bits. Good fun. And right on. Makes a change.

The Noodle Trail.
By Eileen Kardos.

An interesting read, your humour shines throughout the book.
You capture the reader with some excellent description.
It keeps the story moving nicely.
I liked the taxi driver with his never ending questions.
I did think you went over the top a bit with the local food etc. Including the ten different varieties of bananas.
I think it needs to be cut down somewhat as it takes away the interest in the main story.
Just the way I see it, that’s all.
Your love of Thailand is clearly obvious and you’re a good writer too.
I lost your book a couple of times, probably editing but enjoyed what I did read.
I wish you well with this and have given it plenty of stars.
I will be taking another look later on.

Kind regards,

Neville. THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST – THE TIME ZONE.

I like the dialogue in the very beginning. It is authentic and I can really hear the distinct voices of your characters. I love the idea of travel journals(I've actually tossed around the idea of putting my journals from living abroad on Autho). Have thought about labeling this as chick lit? I saw that she is overcoming her relationship suddenly ending and dealing with this new culture in Thailand. There is something that will really resonate with woman in that. I loved it! Six stars from me!

Ashley

Let me see, the first time I laughed . . . was the third line: ‘oh, thank you, thank you!’ I think I laughing for messed up reasons but sorry it’s really funny. And like that, you have my complete attention. Now I am willing to read for a while just because you got me interested (laughing). You always have to find a way to draw in your reader whether it’s a laugh or an intriguing character. You had me with a laugh. And early on, too.

I would indent I am jet lagged’ and 'seven?’ and ‘I’m guessing, . . .’ But I only say this because all this dialogue seems to be coming from the cab driver. and then you get the MC’s thoughts which should not be linked with the driver’s words so not to confused the reader.

oh, and your dialogue is just right on. it’s interesting, funny and real.

Okay . . . once you leave the dialogue and get to the ALL that backstory the read slows a little. Not much because it’s interesting and you have good writing. That first paragraph: ‘no’good-goo’ this time. He . . .’ works quite well but as the paragraphs go on I start to wish that we can go back to the cab and her. You do for a second when the cabbie turns up the radio but then you go back to where you were. It’s almost like a tease. I actually know it’s important stuff and helps us understand her better and the place we are in but I think you can explain it in little chunks as we go on. This is just because that intro was such a pull for me that when we left it I just wanted more.

And when she wakes up after her nap in the cab, I am back where I want to be and that is with these two funny little characters and the story moving along just as I want it to for now (with these characters). :)

But then you go for another two paragraphs later. I think you have to be careful of this because it takes away the flow that you built SO PERFECTLY with the cabbie and her that you lose some of the appeal going off in the backstory and description. I think you need to trim it down just a bit.

I kind of wish there was a bit more interaction between the two. Again, I really enjoy this, even learning all the backstory BUT I just want to give you some of my thoughts that a reader might be thinking about while reading. I already knew I would give you 6 stars just halfway through this chapter(usually I just give people 5 or 6 to be nice but you deserve it) and it never changed even when you got to day three. But I love the ending. This is the second story that I am struggling with telling you if you should split the chapter in two because it’s a bit long for an authonomy reader. But if you trim so of the backstory I won’t have to split it. this is really good and I was entertained the entire time.

Right when I was about to copy and paste my notes in the comment box I saw that it’s been 57 days since your last comment. :( that made me really sad. This work really is too good to me not read. I’m guessing you don’t go and message people about swapping reads? I bet you just kind of relax and let them come to you. whatever it shall be you deserve to be read at least for the first chapter that I had read. :)

I can’t believe that this is a biography. It reads like imaginative fiction. I really felt like chapter one was an education and a cultural experience. I loved it. The dialogue really pulled me in. Authentic and real, I just wish there was a bit more of it. The narration is great but it was a nice respite to have some dialogue there.

It been quite some time since I was pulled so much into a story that when I close my eyes I can almost imagine I was there. The sights the smells, it’s all wonderfully described and I wouldn’t change a word of it.
This is an incredibly original read. I’ve certainly never come across anything like it before. The very best of luck, I hope it get the attention it deserves.

Janny

Just finished the first chapter and it takes me right back to my own time in Bangkok. The atmosphere is authentic, the fruit mouth watering and I'm interested in the characters. Looking forward to reading more.

Eileen
I enjoyed this very much. There are not enough books like this> Good Luck. Backed
Mike

Eileen,

I really love you style!. Noodle Trail is written in the present tense and begins with comic sounding Thai dialogue, which makes it fast pace right from the start.

You have a lovely use of language which is quite refreshing, and most enjoyable to read.
EG - "Billboards blare preposterously enormous images of every computerised gizmo you can drape a girl over."

Your work is nicely written and flows well.

The authentic Thai dialogue works really well. I really wish you had included more.

"I remember how to say Hello in Thai", but I am disappointed that you didn't actually say it.

Same applies later on when you say Goodnight, but not in Thai. You have an authentic voice and some Thai would have brought some more uniqueness to the writing.

There are a few places where the dialogue is mixed in with the prose. They should be separated out. That might be an oversight on your part, because it doesn't appear that often.

E.G "This time I am travelling alone."....should be a New Paragraph.

I like you descriptions and you inclusion of the local setting...the fruit stall, and the food bars.

Your writing in general is of a comic style, and the names of the vendors are amusing - Fruit Guy, Soup Woman, Sausage Lady.

I like the Kick boxing and the Country and Western band. However, it would have helped if you used these to add to the atmosphere.

I like the modern feel to it...the wifi, and .Barack Obama....but the fact that he isn't yet already dates it. Nevertheless, I notice you have already dated it! Sorry.

An unconventional piece at the end of Chapter 1 where to tell about what is to come ...the Russian who fixes your computer. Funnily, it seems to work. It doesn't detract from it anyway, and it makes me think that something interesting is to come.

A very long first chapter. A comic and amusing style. But I am wondering what is to come... so I will read some more later.

Well done so far. I think it is really is a good piece of writing. The only thing is that I wonder if it might be better to turn it into fiction, because it really would lend itself to being fictionalised. And more intriguing.

Best wishes
Marilyn

I've been living vicariously through Eileen's travels for years,
relying on e-mails and infrequent meetings. Finally I can read it all.

Next step is getting it published in hardcover and having her autograph it.
I'll keep it next to my photo of Leo Kottke.

timbabwe

First of all I want to say that I love the title - "The Noodle Trail". Original from the start!
You open well - interesting from the start. Very realistic dialogue. I like the foreshadowing/piquing our interest with "both things used to be true. Now I'm not sure." (Although I'm not sure if it's too much with the next line as well.) Watch repetitions like "next to broke, I earned next to nothing".)

It felt so real that I scrolled back up to check and wasn't surprised that it was biography. But it's not dry biography - it has the feel of fiction - a good story, written as a story not a dry documentary - but fiction where the author has "been there", knows what she is talking about". Some great phrases too "Would I rather be miserable in frozen Scotland, or miserable in the topics?" and then the surprising answer that you don't really know. (I don't think you need to say "shockingly enough" I think you can just say "I don't even know" - let the reader feel the shockingness of that.)

This is good stuff. Highly starring it. If all biography were like this I would read a lot more of it!

PS I've never read "Eat pray love", but it popped into my head as I'd finished commenting - do you see your book as similar?

Hi Claire, and thanks very much.
Yes, it's been said "This is Eat, Love, Pray without the Me, Me, Me". It's the closest thing I know to what I'm doing. The difference might be that her journey is mainly about herself and finding a new man, and the exotic settings are mainly backdrop. I will be introducing people to my suppliers and acquaintances there, so the focus is more on the Thai people who befriended me. I do not go just the once, but go back and back and back until it becomes a home away from home. So, thanks again! and good luck to you too.

First of all I want to say that I love the title - "The Noodle Trail". Original from the start!
You open well - interesting from the start. Very realistic dialogue. I like the foreshadowing/piquing our interest with "both things used to be true. Now I'm not sure." (Although I'm not sure if it's too much with the next line as well.) Watch repetitions like "next to broke, I earned next to nothing".)

It felt so real that I scrolled back up to check and wasn't surprised that it was biography. But it's not dry biography - it has the feel of fiction - a good story, written as a story not a dry documentary - but fiction where the author has "been there", knows what she is talking about". Some great phrases too "Would I rather be miserable in frozen Scotland, or miserable in the topics?" and then the surprising answer that you don't really know. (I don't think you need to say "shockingly enough" I think you can just say "I don't even know" - let the reader feel the shockingness of that.)

This is good stuff. Highly starring it. If all biography were like this I would read a lot more of it!

PS I've never read "Eat pray love", but it popped into my head as I'd finished commenting - do you see your book as similar?

Great read so far. Keep up the good work. Will come back and finish.

THE NOODLE TRAIN: FAIR TRADE, SEX TRADE AND DUNG TRADE IN THAILAND

COVER: Looks like a detailed sand castle? heh. Let me know if I can help you out with a cover that's better suited:
http://www.authonomy.com/forums/threads/51100/free-book-cover-/

TITLE: I like it. Feels longish but I figure on a cover you'd just read the noodle train and the rest would be in small print.

SHORT PITCH: Yes, I think it good...hitting the target
LONG PITCH: A rich life...and a story that looks to reflect it. v good.

TEXT: It's just me probably but whenever I read "partner" instead of husband/boyfriend I think it's a gay partner...probably not an issue but it did give me a v short pause so thought I'd share.
Hm...well...I'm interested but in this first part of the first chapter there may be a bit too much about the business side of things...and not enough personal and Not enough of the Comedienne side of things.

I now also want to go to Thailand because they have 10 varieties of bananas.
"They has(have?) a smooth crisp skin..."
Gah you're making me hungry with this...yes, definitely bringing out a desire to go...so Id say = success!

So I end chapter 2 wondering if the economy has shifted enough to bring this business back to life?
and how can I get started on it? heh. No really, to give up my computer/desk job...and take my two young girls and wife on the road to scour places for fair trade sales...seems so romantic and wonderful. I'm jealous and hope you are finding success in all you do.

Best,
-=Bradley