Dark Energies

Hi Jon!

Since you haven’t been to Authonomy for a while, I hope it’s okay that I’m sending this through your book comment:

I’d like to thank you for backing BRAINRUSH (a Thriller) last year. Because of you it hit the Authonomy Number-1 slot, attracted an agent, and landed a film option. Now that’s a brain-rush! The formal book launch is September 1st and the sequel will be released in December. None of this would have been possible without your help. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Sincerely,
Richard Bard, BRAINRUSH

PS. If you want a good laugh, check out the temporary book-trailer video on the BRAINRUSH website. It’s there as a placeholder for the upcoming professional video. The current one features children and it’s guaranteed to make you smile! And yes, the younger kid on the screen is really me. You can see the video at www.RichardBard.com. The link is also on my Authonomy profile page. While you’re there, check out the “Feel the Rush” promotion that will get you BRAINRUSH plus 2 FREE thrillers from the Kindle Top-20 PAID Bestseller list – yes, really!

I honestly think you could dispense with the first 2 paragraphs. Also, starting with a weather report ? (Rain....) I don't know. Not the best hook, IMO, however your MC is interesting & the advent of MagicRabbit utterly captivating.
All the best for this one. Backed.

Jon,
Dark Energies is compelling reading due to the narrative voice. Dan Carver's private thoughts and feelings are conveyed in intricate detail. His adventures outlined in the synopsis would be a pleasure to experience vicariously and I look forward to seeing the complete work. Backed with enthusiasm.

You are totally fantastic, Jon! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoirs book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Dark eneregies
Enjoyable to read, well written too
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Dark Pleasures provides insights about today's hooked-up world as well as the singular people hitting the keystrokes trying to make connections. The book is intriguing and the lead character is developed well and early. I prefer trashing the second graph and beginning the meat of the story directly after the sentence about needing friends. I think it makes it more dramatic and focuses on his dilemma and builds on the plot. The rhetorical questions, offered early and reintroduced farther down, don't need to be mentioned, because the reader can be intelligent enough to ask them. Your command of vocabulary certainly enhances your descriptions, especially of the rain. I'm sure it's an oversight, but in the fourth paragraph, starting with "where," it seems to need a verb and predicate. Good luck to you,
Lenore
Surviving the Seaweed

Dark Energies is a pleasure to read and not only for the competence of its prose but also for the eclectic turns of phrase such as 'lighthouse in sight' and the offbeat mental imagery it conjures up in 'grilled Marsbar on toast' for example, paper bodied termites, and with a superb description of the flush of embarrassment. There is literary cadence and flowing prose in the description of the sombre shades of the rain in the opening. The work is adroitly structured and the dialogue, where it occurs moves the plot forward and sounds as though it would be uttered by real individuals. BACKED, Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

THis is beyond facinatinf. A complex yet skillful blend of science and fiction that takes the reader into a realm of reality takes unimaginable skill and you do it well.

Good solid details and narration. This is more than a book, it's an experience and an amazing journey.


Backed
THE MIND SETTER

The concept and tone are original and gripping. Your narration is reminiscent of classic writers of mystery stories. Contemporary writer like Susan Hill have also written suspense in this style. It makes a refreshing change. And you have such an intriguing plot that I am keen. to know how it develops. I have just one quibble anout the third paragraph in your opening. The intensity of he rain is sufficiently emphasised in the first two. Except for possibly the last line - this paragraph is unnecessary in my opinion. But I enjoyed what I've read and backed it.

Hi Jon. Browsing for books to read, I came across Dark Energies. I have put it on my WL. Only had time to read opening but was intrigued. Shall get back to you.

Dear Jon
I have already commented and backed your book but cannot find the backing so I am doing it again, just to make sure
the best of luck
Denise
The Letter

Dear Jon, I love up until chapter 4 ended, but was wondering what was going to happen next? :) Your pitch prepared me for an exciting read of a possible new romance/married & living happily ever after romance, so I was anticipatingly reading to see if this would happen. :) Well, I wrote in my mind anyway that that's what happened. :) Tight paragraphs & dialogue moved me right through your story. :) Hope you'll write a lot of books. :) I've backed your book :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Dan. I also like your use of the first person narrative voice as this allows you to explore his thoughts and feelings. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

:) comment to follow - read & commented on 5 hours later :)

Wow. This really stands out from the crowd. You use first person narrative and exquisite description to make time stop for your readers. There were only a couple of paragraphs I skimmed but more out of impatience for the next juicy bit than boredom. I read all your chapters and please let me know when you post the next. You have me dangling by a hook.
Wishing you every success,
Sana

I like your writing style - a great idea - I've sped through your first four chapters - I hope that there is more to come - please!

Paul

Great conversations. Good voice, and tone. Nicely structured plotting. Should do well on this site. I agree with others, the length of narratives should be broken up. But, I enjoyed the read and BACKED it.

HOpe you will have a look at mine and back it if you like it

Best,
Robert
Golden Conspiracy

Jon, I've looked at the first two chapters. An enjoyable, smooth read. You need to watch the length of your narrative paragraphs. I don't mind it, but others might find them a tad long.

Good job overall. Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Hi Jon, love this idea. Your opening is really good, I know the feeling of boredom that leads you to facebook, checking out pictures full of people you've never met before, its a funny world really the virtual one and I think it's a world that a lot of people are getting lost in these day, almost living their real lives virtually. You have described Dans boredom and lack lustre life really well in the opening and his draw to social networking is well done. I love the nudge at the bottom, such a small thing which I imagine will have big reprocusions. Really well written and a brilliant premise. On my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish) P.S. thanks for the support on my run up to the desk, really appreciate it.

I love your little preface, it sets the reader at ease, as a friend. The story line is good too. Keep up the good work, mariecapri.

The pitch is great! Looked forward to reading it, but with Chapter 1 found myself drifting off, and skipping rather a lot to get to the point. I liked your use of language style but perhaps a tad too long to sustain interest? The last two lines have great promise, so will, when I next visit, read Chapter Two.

Clever voice. I feel like were sitting in the same room and I am captured by our conversation rather than an eye in the sky watching the story unfold. Keep it up. Can't wait to see where the story is going.

Very unusual and a nice ‘now’ touch to set a book around something like facebook. I enjoyed it. It was sharp and witty and I look forward to reading more.
Sue Mackender

Knowing Liam Riley

Hugely enjoyable. Great technique chatting up the reader,
though I'd cut paragraph 2, and it continues right through,
beginning to gather suspense with the hook on Ch 4..... Will he
meet up with imself or what??
backed.....mikegilli The Free.

What a perfect waty to decsribe this book- gripping - this is a book I would buy based on the pitch and the story proper does not disappoint! Very unique and facinating love story altyhough haven't reached the love part yet! I will return to devour more of this! BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

Hello Dan, Dark Energies is something else, really interesting and gripping tale. I lvoe it, good luck. Backed.
Norman.

Glad you enjoyed it! When antipodean version is published, I'll be sure to re-write the opening for more appropriate weather :)

Will of course let you know when more chapters are ready.

Very interesting. I paraphrase: 'Rain. We're Australian, we're not used to it ...' (sorry, never-ending drought here, ie South Australia!). I'd love to read more. MagicRabbit, haha. Backed. Great title, hope your cover does the writing justice. All the best for this one.

Thanks so much for the positive feedback. Will keep you updated as and when more is added...

Jon

Wow, I like this. Social networking has become such a in thing these days, and using the idea to weave a story around it is certainly going to be interesting. I am curious to see how this goes for the main character...

Lina M

At The Midnight Hour

Very interesting. I paraphrase: 'Rain. We're Australian, we're not used to it ...' (sorry, never-ending drought here, ie South Australia!). I'd love to read more. MagicRabbit, haha. Backed. Great title, hope your cover does the writing justice. All the best for this one.