Father of Emily

If you would like to leave a comment...

First of all thank you for reading. The comments have been amazing so far and I hugely appreciate it!
However I would be highly grateful if you could either copy and paste your comments onto the 'Father of Emily' Amazon page, press the like button or just leave a comment there instead. This is the best way of showing your support.

Many thanks
Kris
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0058DILJG

Magical and endearing with good quality writing.

Ariel

Quality drama beautifully written

If you would like to leave a comment...

First of all thank you for reading. The comments have been amazing so far and I hugely appreciate it!
However I would be highly grateful if you could either copy and paste your comments onto the 'Father of Emily' Amazon page, press the like button or just leave a comment there instead. This is the best way of showing your support.

Many thanks
Kris
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0058DILJG

Kristofer,

I started this at work and finished the rest of what's posted once I got home. I'm going to look for the hard copy for myself, but have just sent the kindle version as a gift to my mother (my 76 year old mother has a kindle, I do not) So, apart from wanting to kick Sarah square in the box (haha, just kidding) I really loved this. The line "I feel lighter" was perfect. I guess I could relate to it.

Best
Bill
HAKTAW HEART

PS - Is Breakfast in America a real restaurant, would love to check it out. My partner keeps trying to drag me to Paris. I've thus far diverted him to Madrid and Berlin, but likely we'll see Paris this spring.

It was so nice to be able to sit down, not worry about crappy sentence construction or bad dialogue and just read. I don't use the word lovely often, it's very undudelike, but that what this is. Expertly crafted, well done.

Bill Scott
HAKTAW HEART

I read all three uploaded chapters and quickly found myself hooked by an enthralling piece of work. I thought the characterization was excellent, particularly Clara and Sarah, whom I found fascinating and entertaining. Sarah's bombshell in c3 was beautifully described. Only nitpick, I've now got to think about downloading Kindle software. Generously starred. Good luck with this.

Kristofer

What a gorgeous story. I've only read up to chapter 2, but am already in love with this. Clara is such an interesting character, unpredictable, vulnerable, I can see what pulls Ben towards her. The scene on the beach in Cyprus and the bedroom whilst they're getting ready to go out really pulled me in. Ben seemed to be like a swan, gliding gracefully on the surface but paddling furiously underneath trying to reassure Clara. The bit when he's teasing her and she reads it the wrong way, very well written. Just fantastic, a real bittersweet story, I can tell.

This is most definetly backed, although it might take a while. This is one I plan to keep on my shelf for a good long while, it deserves it.

Silva

On my watchlist :)

This time I read Chapter 2 and found it lulled me into continuing the read. In the first paragraph, I'd divide the last sentence. Strange how he doesn't recognize the woman at first. That's such a dreamy way to view his surroundings. I love the quote: ' expensive sleep in an uncomfortable chair'.

I'm pleased to back the book.

Francene. Still Rock Water.

I have read the first two chapters and like what I have read. It flows easily and the MC is strong; the beginning of the second chapter was a little confusing at first but I like that, we feel his disorientation. Bravo, this is good...you are still making up words though: I awoken?? I woke, I am awake, I awakened, all good but not I awoken. You've lived too long en France.
Room will be made on my shelf asap, and I will continue to read and let you know what I think
Millie C x
ps have sprinkled stars liberally all over it as this is a soulful, well written piece. Bon chance!

I was instantly drawn to read this book... (maybe because my name is in the title!) Your pitch is great, and your writing doesn't disappoint. I hope you have a lot of success with this. All the best, Emily (Traps and Topaz)

I just got back from Paris last week! Great city, this will be shelved tomorrow once it opens up, cant wait!

Rachel

Great style. You have the gift of writing memorable comedy. Backed with absolute pleasure. Laurence (Winchester) Howard, The Cross of Goa.

A well crafted tale that quickly draws the reader in. MC's are engaging and suitable quirky. Setting is spot on and dialogue sparky. In all, just what one wants from a rom-com :)


Happy to support this. I am unashamedly here to support my other half so if you could read/rate etc The Firelord's Crown by Jim Darcy I would appreciate it :D

Kristofer,
Your book held my interest pleasantly from the start. I have more to read, but I am starring Father of Emily and putting it book on my WL with interest.
Regards,
John B Campbell . . . Walk to Pradise Garden

A charming story with good dialogue and characterization and lovely quirky bits to keep one amused.

I found the opening paragraphs interesting, but not as strong in terms of description and language as the rest of Chapter 1. The story came alive for me when the first flashback finished and we joined the narrator on his train journey. The langauge seemed more polished from there on in, but perhaps that's just me.

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

I LOVE THIS BOOK!!! good to see you have uploaded the whole book here now. I love how you have captured the relationship between the characters here, you think it's going to be just anther love story but it's not, its really romantic but not in the traditional sense. good luck!

Very nicely written. Love the relationships in this. Wonderful descriptions of the surroundings. Excellent read. Best of luck with it.

Debbie Martin
THE TIMID HEART

Hi Kristopher, liking your story - will place on my WL. Nice journey you've started!
blessings,
jim
jack & charmian london

Dear Kris, I have read, backed & commented on both of your books, "Father of Emily" 74 days ago & "The Enormous but New Adventures of "Millie Rose" 208 days ago. :) Could you please take just of moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart :) - I'm 20 from the editor's desk & every backing moves me closer. :) Love, Susie :) I am giving both of your books 6 stars :) - could you star me, too? Love, Susie :)

Your writing has a beautiful quality, smooth and smart. This tale has a charming lilt. I also love how you contrast such a serious problem as her father leaving her mother... to why the French put eggs on their pizza. It's a perfect peek inside this child's mind... to how she thinks and operates.

I also love how this one child brings back so much for her father, reviving questions of his past and understanding for his future. Well written and beautifully crafted. Thank you for sharing.

Backed with pleasure.


Laura
"Jhevalia"

There is a gentleness and authenticity here that I find very touching. Good luck with this. LJ, Tao of Love and Software

Nice read. Great characters, very believable. Good dialogue, as well.

Suz

Kris,

Great profile and quirky pitch (not sure you need the question mark after pizzas).

The first scene has some great details--like the tea pot--but I couldn't clearly visualise what was going on, and it's only in the next scene that I discover they were on a cliff.

After that thought the passage back and forth between flash backs and the train trip is handled well and a story unfolds smoothly.

I did notice a few stray question marks--like the one in the pitch, and in one place paragraphing around dialogue threw me for a moment. You had:

". . . You removed my clothes and threw my shoe into the wash basket." I remembered. I also remembered I had managed to do it on the first throw as well.

I felt a paragraph break after the dialogue to seperate Bens' actions from Clara's words would have helped (and looking at the last sentence again it strikes me that 'also' or 'as well' would probably suffice, but using both may be redundant).

There's an interesting story developing here, and I'm interested to see quite what is driving Clara's actions.

Backed

Kris, I liked your first-person voice in that first chapter. Good dialogue also. Nothing glaring to nitpick in that section, so hats off to you.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Dear Kris
I first started your book 39 days ago and said i would continue and i am back. Amazing, and also funny, CONGRATS. you have such a way of painting with words, and your pictures are still in my head as are your characters. this book has so much in it and it is not all on site yet. when will the rest be put on site?
when it is I will carry on reading and comment further on as I would like to get this book of yours backed to assist it on the climb to the top. All arrows are red and down today)
Backed for sure my me. ..I would really appreciate it if your would look at my book, COMMENT , and back it. If not that is OK also
The VERY best of luck with your book

Denise
The Letter

There's a certain charm to this that draws the reader deeper and deeper in.

Hey Kris

Just read the first chapter, and what do i think! It's a book with a very romantic quality here. The relationship between Clara and Ben feels very real. An aside from a few bits (not many) that need editing so that it flows at it's best. I think your onto something here. It's completely not my usual genre, e.g there are no werewolves and people getting killed.. he he. So I can't say much in the improvement stakes as it's not my area of expertise. But it is clear that it is a really easy read, which is a good thing by the way, and like I've said before your characters feel very real which is definitely your strong point. A lot of people write one dimensional characters but you don't. The world you've created is incredibly believable, i think the only thing you might need to work on is pacing. But that's nothing that editing won't care of. And that's something everybody seems to need to get help with. (Me too)
I've read romantic novels before but never one by a bloke. I've never even read one written by a guy before so I find that kind of fascinating. Although I have watched the notebook, (that's written by a guy right?) Great film, bet the books even better.

Anyhow good luck, you definitely have my backing.

All the best

Deloris
Dark Souls

This was a sublime read. Far from the typical slam bang I read on this site. Good story well written. I finished the first thre chapters. Very well done. Comment below address commas etc. South of the La Seine, if it mattrs.

Good luck with this Backed
Scorselo

This made me smile! Well done!

YOUR BOOK SEEMS PERFECT FOR AN IDLE AFTERNOONS READ and I believe I have backed it before but just in case I haven't I 'll back it now with thanks and best wishes - perhaps you could have a look at my books - good luck ------ !

This has great potential. You didn't ask, but could I give you a couple suggestions? After every dialogue entry, indent the description, especially if it's more than a sentence. Also, can you rethink your short pitch? I don't get a sense of the richness of the characters or conflict from the short pitch (I think that's the toughest pitch to make). Could you give me the "couple of twists," just aim and fire? Backed.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Very well done. I'll back this for you. Dave

I love this, really well written, Ben comes across as a sensitive lovely guy - so far!
Will definately read more of this.
I would write a better pitch though, some people need a taste before reading the book and you haven't really got anything to tempt them in.

only 25 word description and i spend hours figuring out what to put for 200 words lol.. catchy line, backed.. i love paris!

This book desrves to rise. Not fall. I implore everyone on this site to read.
BACKED INDEED.

Hope you get the chance to peek insside The Russian Hat. I could do with a lift.

warm wishes

Brendan

This was a refreshing read. your comments say it all.
Plagarma

love the banter between characters.. backed your book :)

Normally I leave some comprehensive comments and I only leave them if others have beaten me to it. WIth this though, beautiful prose, excellent sturcture and fantastic dialogue. The structure is professionally controlled and the style if highly effective. What else can I say?

oh yeah, BACKED!

Magical and endearing with good quality writing.

Ariel

Quality drama beautifully written

Quality drama beautifully written

My foot slipped (from its place)
...thirty foot drop ON either side...
...at that moment (so) I had to...
..bear (the idea of) the consequences (of) if.
...scratching...and tearing...
...turned IN the direction of...
Unaware of all surrounding dangers...
This is just a sample as you requested but I suspect there are others...sorry I don't have time to go through your text in greater detail at present...good luck with it!
Stewart

Stylish and artfully crafted...there are some issues with prepositions! Good luck and best wishes
Stewart

The protagonist working part time in a bookshop shows some parallels with the "about me." That's the best kind of writing to read. Backed. Chuck (Literary Agent Blues & Paperboy Adventures)

Hello Kris, ;love your book cover, and the pitches short and long are very well crafted congrats. I feel sure this is going to reflect in your book so am reading and will continue.

Denise
The Letter

This is such a deserved backing
Helen

I'm only going to give you one comment on this, but it's a good one.
Replace all your 'he answered', 'she helpfully added' etc with 'he/she said'
It reads a whole lot better.
Otherwise, I liked it a lot!
Melanie Kendry The Boy Time Forgot

Really like the Breakfast in Paris scene. That opening paragraph is great but I stayed with it all the way through. Like Emily, Mr Commings and the 1930s man too. Luk

“south of the river in Paris?” What’s the river name to the unknowledgeable reader?
“The bits in-between was expensive sleep in an uncomfortable chair” Beautiful
I expected more description of the city of Paris. I've been to Paris and It is a very beautiful city but in the first two chapters there is only the necessary details. For the beginning of a story about Paris, where is the city? The Tower? The smells, the crowds, the sights?

You're a good and engaging writer. You drew me in from the very beginning and I had to keep reading.
Keith

I loved your pitch enough to start reading this and I'm glad I did. Your characters are lovely and certainly put a smile on my face.

Lots of luck with it
Jo G
Lacey's House