Book Jacket

 

rank 1849
word count 71486
date submitted 20.03.2010
date updated 23.03.2010
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy, ...
classification: universal
complete

Shadowolf

Gerard Mullan

War threatens the free country of Verandar, and for Exavier Shadowolf, an ambassador schooled in the Art of Magick, fate sits heavy in his hand.

 

His country is a place he has come to love; an anarchic state struggling for survival as slavery and despair push against its every border. When his mentors give him a chance to prove himself as their equal in his chosen field, metamancy - the Art of Change - he accepts and finds himself travelling abroad to the Republic of Knale. In this new land, he encounters a powerful force he has never heard of before. This... Science... begins to cause havoc with his magickal abilities, driving him to find answers as to what laws have chained his previously formidable powers. In his attempts to free Verandar from the destructive threat of technology he is led far from his home, acting under the will of the insidious Councillor Darke, a man who will stop at nothing to carry out his twisted agenda. Shadowolf is a story of self-discovery, rampant adventure, and ultimately, the cost of carrying through with an action until the bitter end.

 
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tags

magic mage adventure world fantasy systems philosophy think piece science desert steampunk emotional narrative first person dreamscape

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33 comments

 

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Dagura van Acra wrote 612 days ago

It took a lot for me to stop reading your book and write this:
This book is an epic. I love the description, I love the characters and I love the sheer...well...magic of it.
I back this book because it deserves it, and it really HAS to be published (I'll buy it, for sure).

Dagura
'Rising Seas'

Vanessa Darnleigh wrote 626 days ago

Water would quench fire and fire was my foe = kind of stating the obvious, isn't it?
...metallic tang gripped... = 'gripped' doesn't sound quite right here
Interesting but at times I feel your enthusiasm for your chosen genre carries you away and leaves the reader behind. Instead of introducing the nomenclature of your world so immediately, why not wait until the context brings out the meaning? Or include more detail. This is really a brave effort and deserves to be backed
Cheers
Stewart

Beval wrote 645 days ago

A good voice here and a very readble narrative.

Owen Quinn wrote 658 days ago

Totally up my street with a action adventure epic that would sit proudly on any bookshelf.

Maureen Anne wrote 659 days ago

Love it. It put me in mind also of Strange and Norrell, and that is quite a compliment. Again, I agree with David Thorne - work on that first sentance - it is your moment to connect.

Exellent.

Backed and watching

Good Luck

Maureen Anne

mvw888 wrote 659 days ago

Well sometimes it's hard to find things to say when something is just done right. I love your narrator's voice, its conversational but wise tone. Your use of vocabulary is brilliant and your prose has a flow that just can't be taught. Your voice, along with the traditional style you employ, put me in mind of Jonathon Strange and Mr. Norrell, a book that also has a magical story and delicious writing. Excellent imagery, a gripping story you have begun. Loved this.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

CarolinaAl wrote 666 days ago

You provide us with an outstanding story with an intelligent plot and fascinating characters. Polished writing. Backed.

lynn clayton wrote 666 days ago

This is one of the best pieces of Sci-fi i've read on this site, not only for plot and character, but the narrative - 'their souls shrieking in discontent through my very being' and 'the glorious chaos that embodies life' being but two examples. The description of Sartherus, the description of the document with its dense writing is a wotk of art. Backed. lynn

A Knight wrote 667 days ago

Excellent beginning. Immediately, the reader is grasped and pulled in to this premise and intrigued by the realistic potential. Your attention to detail increases the believability, and your characterisation is incredibly true to form.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Diane60 wrote 703 days ago

Gerard,
Have read the first 2 chapters. This has a huge task in being very much like the ring stories, and the harry potter books, even a bit of alice in wonderland too.
Your style is very sweeping and majestic what you would expect from such a large epic book.

Diane

Luke Bramley wrote 712 days ago

Love it, actually beautiful in parts, the otherworldly adventure - the mage quest. Your heart and soul I can tell. Luke, The Kingdom Within.

name falied moderation wrote 727 days ago

Gerard you are a natural writer, creating visual artwork with words. I was first captivated by your prologue and then read on. I will not profess to have read too much but will continue and give further feedback. I would ask the same of you, the possibility of having comments to a first time writer. thank you and BEST of luck with your book

Barry Wenlock wrote 733 days ago

Hi Gerard, your author's note serves as an excellent prologue and reminded me of the writings of H.P. Lovecraft, in the way it made a fictional place seem real and reachable.
I read the first two chapters and enjoyed them. Some of the dialogue might be tweaked a little but the MC voice is strong, unique and well-crafted. There's some other original elements here, both in story line and presentation and that can't be bad...well done.
Backed with pleasure, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

Mr. Nom de Plume wrote 737 days ago

"a world without magick" even the spelling is unique. The most impressive feature of the entire package is the author's statement in the "about me" in regard to reading (complete and with purpose) intentions. Backed. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures)

Jim Darcy wrote 739 days ago

This reads very well and gives an immediate sense of your world. You build it consistently with an internal logic that works. Your MC, Exavier, quickly engages the reader's interest and the story line maintains it. Some might question your opening with a dream sequence - many consider it too obvious. In my opinion, and it's just my opinion, I would start with him on his way to Knale and reminiscing backwards.
Just a thought.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

yasmin esack wrote 745 days ago

Dear Gerard
Your book inspires and threads a fine path. It is stimulating and provocative in content. Your style of writing is unique and offers up a treat. It was indeed a pleasure to read it.
Backed
The Lord of the Dawn. Beyond 2012.

Aimee Fry wrote 748 days ago

I do love a good dream sequence! This is written well and the world you create is very visual for your reader through your descriptions.

Very well done - Backed with pleasure.
Aimee

zan wrote 759 days ago

Shadowolf
Gerard Mullan

Interesting fantasy world you have created. Original story with good characterisation of Exavier Shadowolf, and some stimulating, thought provoking ideas including the magick/science takes. Best wishes in finding a publisher.
Zan

Famlavan wrote 763 days ago

Shaddowolf

I think what impressed me at the start of this was the use of sensory descriptive predicates in the narrative; I tend to find that from first person a lot of writers get stuck in pure visual descriptions.
I feel that you use the dialogue well to grow the characters and the show and tell strengthens the storyline.
I got a little tied up in unfamiliar sounding names however the strength of the narrative grounding the story counteracts this. Good story – well told.

J.Adams wrote 765 days ago

Greetings, Gerard.

PREAMBLE:
I found your book based on your critique of another book. I found your critique interesting, so looked for your story. I understand what you mean about reading a book all the way through. When I first joined Authonomy, I did read every book through, and I felt that it was not possible to give a fair critique if I hadn't read all that had been posted. ....However, I have a family and a lot of demands outside of Authonomy. If the majority of readers were reading my book in its entirety, I would read theirs the same way. With my time constraints, it would take me years to get through a few dozen books! And Authonomy is not set up to function that way.

I stopped reading most books in their entirety and I am growing accustomed to the fact that virtually no one reads mine all the way through (many don't even really read any of it, they just pretend to - you can tell by their comments that they are clueless about the book. It is frustrating. They are just looking for a backing). It makes me sad in a way, because the first part of my book is nothing like the rest of it, and still, that's all that most people see -- the run-up to my MC's suicide attempt. In fact, the book is actually about her life after the attempt and few people realize this. Ah well, that's the way it goes.

Okay, that said, I do try to read several chapters of most books, and often, in addition to the first few, I'll skip to a couple of others. That way I can at least have enough of a feel for a book to leave an intelligent comment, and to know if I would back a book.

This is my long-winded explanation for why I am not reading your entire book, although I do keep a list of books that I wish to come back to to finish, and I do give myself a day here and there to read those gems. Yours is among them. In the meantime:

COMMENT:
This is a very well-conceived, well-written fantasy story. It has a similar flavor to Le Guin's Earthsea Trilogy, although it is by no means the same story or an extension of her work. Shadowolf definitely stands as its own piece. The MC is skillfully developed, dialogue is believable and well organized, the imagery is rich, and the creation of this fantasy world is excellent, covering everything from varying customs among different people to unique animals, to how basic human needs are met, to understandable and differing geographical locations and towns.

(Thank you for letting your readers know about the glossary.)

Chapter 1: Beginnings (Chapter 2 in Authonomy)

Observation:
"discontent" seems like it is not a strong enough word for this scene.
"I was safe, but countless of my kin had died, their souls shrieking in discontent through my very being."
They are dead. Their soul's shrieking through the speaker's being.
Something like "shrieking in agony" or "in horror" or... "discontent" just doesn't sound like something one would shriek about.

Observation:
Also, same paragraph, "I needed to do something, anything to stop their pain, even if it meant... taking it all upon myself." If they were dead wouldn't they not be in pain anymore?

Ah - shwooh! It was a dream!

(I really like the name "Dalau" )

Typo:
"Show off," a voice teased, light and hinting on the edge of laugher. I had not notice him wake." should be "noticed"

Tense issues like:
"I washed myself and cleaned all of my clothes, knowing that it may yet be a long time before I had the chance to do so again."
I believe "may" should be "might" to keep the tense consistent, which provides a smoother flow.

Typo:
"Once this matter is resolved we kindly ask you to return haste post haste to Dalau, where we await..." the "haste" following "return" needs to be removed.



Chapter 2: Northbound (Chapter 3 in Authonomy)

Observation:
"The bulbs on all the flowers hung with the last hope of Glimmerin, oranges, reds and browns, while the trees let their fat, broad leaves droop drowsily and flutter to the floor."
"fat" works great with "droop" but doesn't work so well with "flutter"

Observation:
The language here is both lovely and expresses a unique perspective:
"It is. It's... comforting. I feel as though all the inhibitions of being on solid ground have left for good. It's as if they were never there. The unpredictability of each step is something I've never really acclimatised to in my learning at Dalau -- what I mean is that mages are taught to doubt the certainty of everything we come across in Dimension, and this feeling now... I think this is what the masters wanted me to feel. Out here, in the unknown, I am powerless in everything but my mind, which itself is my source of power."

(I like the perspective on eating flesh -- ours is a vegetarian household...)

(...being at least sympathetic to a Luddite perspective - obviously not completely wed as I type at my computer - I appreciate the introduction here to * machines *)

Observation:
Again, another lovely passage:
"We drifted through those dead lands with solemn grace, paying tribute to the dead with tears. One of the first things a mage is taught is how to * feel. * In order to bring about a Hex, you have to understand that the world is very much like yourself, even when cloaked behind its feathers or foliage. I have been taught to see parts of my identity in everything around me; the trees, the beasts of the land and even the soils on which they toil. When one throws one's emotions out into the world, one can feel when the lives around one are hurting..."

[ In these opening lines observing the machines and the utter filth they bring to the land, water, and sky, I see a plea for a sane environmental policy to be implemented here, in the real world. I am glad to see this. If enough people write about these issues, regardless of how they are couched, hopefully, the message will spread like the rings in the pool of human awareness when an idea is dropped in.]

I suspect this is dialect rather than a typo - your editing / proofing has been pristine, but just in case, I'll mention it:
"Twenty cuppas is a decent price for a time piece. Better that what you would pay in the city anyhow." "Better that" ? or "Better than" ?

I have the rest noted on my list of "to finish when I have time." This is a great read, you have put a tremendous amount of work into crafting a fine story, and I wish you all the best.
Judy

SusieGulick wrote 777 days ago

Dear Gerald, I love science fiction. :) You really have a creative mind. :) Your forward was good, preparing me for your story. I like you chose Exavier for a name - tha'ts unique. I like your short crisp sentences. :) Your almanac at the end was all inclusive. May your book do well. I'm backing/commenting on it to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)

ILA Golden wrote 779 days ago

Your style has a nice feel for the genre of the piece you’re writing. It’s smooth and flows effortlessly with the story.

I liked the way you opened chapter 1 with a dream. Or rather part dream. It brings the readers right into Shadowolf’s mindset. You then establish the world he’s living in without overloading the reader with too much information. I think if you know you the reality you’ve created well enough it will come across to the reader through the subtle little details you give. (well that am I am a fantasy nut so one mention of ‘the sky is pink’ and I’m like ‘oh okay’ and just accept it anyway :P but that’s just me)

I like the characterisation of the secondary characters in chapter 2. The incident in the clock shop has its own level of amusement, as well as telling a lot about Shadowolf’s character and the world he’s stepped into. For some reason I keep picturing this in some pseudo-Victorian setting, I’m not sure why. I liked the encounter with the mysterious woman at the end, it makes you want to keep reading on to find out who she is.

‘Coffee, I reasoned, was some sort of food’ this line made me laugh. Mostly because I’m not a coffee drinker myself but I do like coffee cream chocolates so for me coffee is a kind of food.

Anyway Helen comes off as being a lot older than 16. She’s cold too. Err... I mean she’s very sure of herself and not at all girly... I don’t know if that makes sense.

The world in which Shadowolf has entered seems to be a clash between technology and magick (is there a reason you’re spelling magick with a k btw, I’m curious). You progress the plot forward in logical steps making sure the reader has time to get to grips with what’s going on before pulling them forward. The dialogue is character appropriate in that it sounds natural for the image I have in my head for each character now (note my image may not match your image lol).

There is one small thing I will say, only cuz it was mentioned to me in a comment I’ve had before and after I thought it through I realised it made sense. You don’t need the word ‘that’ in all of the places you have it. If you read across a line and it still makes the right kind of sense with the word ‘that’ removed then take it out. There were a few places when I was reading this I read a sentence containing ‘that’ twice to see how it would sound without and imo they flowed better without. However feel free to disagree with that one. Sometimes word usage and grammatical style is a matter of the writer’s personal taste. If you think it sounds better with then that’s fine ^_^ I’m just simply passing on advice which has been passed to me.lol.

Well done

~ ILA ~

Colin Normanshaw wrote 780 days ago

This is not my genre but is nicely written and so deserves my backing. I cannot think of any areas for improvement. Colin

GAClark wrote 781 days ago

Gerard
I read the great review you did for Frank McGrath's book "Artistic License" and thought to myself that any author who was that meticulous in a review, had to be a great writer as well. I was not disappointed.
Shadowolf is as well written a novel as I have ever had the privilege to read. I am only into the 3rd chapter, but I have put it on my shelf for further reading. If you get a chance, please take a look at Show Low. In contrast - it is a far different genre then Shadowolf but I would appreciate your insight.
GA Clark
Show Low

Burgio wrote 781 days ago

What an imaginative story. Good characters. Good settings. Intriguing magic. Makes this a good read. I'm adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Bamboo Promise wrote 781 days ago

This is an excellent book I read only one chapter and I am happy to back first before I continue the next chapters.
BAcked
BAmboo Promise

Annockonda wrote 782 days ago

nice....great talent and an imaginative mind. backed

lizjrnm wrote 785 days ago

You have a talent for drawing the reader in right from the get go! Bless you that this is all uploaded as i will return for more of this gem tonight! BACKED without hesitation - i'd buy this!

Liz
The Cheech Room

carlashmore wrote 785 days ago

Wow, Gerard. This is complex stuff. I have to admit this is not my genre, but your writing and absolute knowledge of your world and its inhabitants make me take my hat off to you. Your mind must live this world. And, for that, alone and you sheer epic imagination I have to back you. Congratulations. Carl. The Time Hunters.

Melcom wrote 790 days ago

This has all the ingredients to make an excellent book, spot on dialogue, terrific characterisation and a fantastic premise.A really good read.

I'm not sure what you mean by ashy hair? Might be me feeling tired!!

Lovely flow to your writing.

Happily shelved

Melxx

K.Z. Freeman wrote 790 days ago

I knew this would be good for some reason, and god damn, I love it. It's fantasy but not this savior against the badguys bullshit. At least, not to an extend you would expect from the pitch, it seems more like a series of events that make Exavier act and respond, which I like. Yet the "lore" can be a bit overwhelming in some spots, but still, a very fun read....already backed this yesterday, good luck bro.

Christina McClean wrote 790 days ago

In the introduction the person speaking comes across informally and with a voice of wisdom. The first part in italics is powerful and shocking - the image of blood. I love this line, 'And as the trees shrugged their leaves and fell like the painted pages of an ancient book,' The informal voice continues making a complex story accessible. Just like the references to ordinary life bring the story forwards to us speaking in tangible terms, 'A world so different from Verandar it was like comparing a dishcloth to a door knob. Opening his letters proves to be an unerving and stressful event, telling us about the way things are going to go.
I am backing this based on what I have read already but will continue to read and to comment.
All the best
From Under the Bed
Christina

DKTD1 wrote 791 days ago

Nice action opening, good dialogue, great imagination. I'm still lost with fantasy and all the weird names, but i'll get it. If I had one complaint, it's a little complicated at times, makes the flow of your writing slow. You don't need to dumb it down, but maybe simplify here and there.
Just my two cents.

Shelved.
Dan
Demons and Other Inconveniences

1