Book Jacket

 

rank 1149
word count 144407
date submitted 24.03.2010
date updated 16.12.2010
genres: Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult, Chri...
classification: moderate
complete

Heartstrings: Jia's Story

Joyce L M Weis

Can Jia resist the call on her heartstrings and unite the free peoples of Ckelnor before it is too late?

 

Heartstrings: Jia's Story features a girl in her late teens named Jiashri who sets out on a quest to recover her heartstrings, the physical embodiment of her will, which were removed at birth by a powerful sorcerer. Along the way, she discovers that she is not the mortal girl she thought she was and that the very same sorcerer has a larger purpose—to enslave all in the land of Ckelnor.

Her heritage and ability to befriend make her the key to uniting the free peoples so they might fend off the coming sorcerer’s army. When her heartstrings fall into the enemy’s hands, however, she finds herself on the run to evade capture. Even worse, her heartstrings are cursed to draw misfortunes to her if she should resist whoever controls them.

With two ducklings for companions, the appearance of a winged unicorn named Herald, and the friendship of memorable characters such as the Sea, an unusual lord named Cullen, and a friendly urchin that cries in the night, this story of the search for freedom, friendship, love, and sacrifice unfolds.

 
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adventure, archery, battle, battles, dark lord, death, dragon, ducklings, dwarves, epic, epic fantasy, fantasy, female protagonist, fiction, good vers...

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41 comments

 

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gillyflower wrote 786 days ago

This is a pitch which attracted me easily. It has magic, a moving story, a girl in trouble who is nevertheless brave and very appealing. You write from Jia's point of view, and we feel her emotions, share her fears and problems, and like her from the start. Her trek across the mountain amid the icy cold, searching for the hot springs, is immensely exciting and moving. The appearance of the two dwarfs, who promise to take her there, is very satisfying, and you hook us in easily to want to know more. Your writing is good, and your descriptions are especially successful, with their clear detail and beauty. I was impressed by your insight into character, shown in such sentences as, 'until she could accept the pain, till she was brave enough to act despite it.' Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Rakhi wrote 758 days ago

You have created a fantasy that many would love an escape to! The character 'Jia' alone can carry this book, she is so well portrayed. Couple with a great mystical plot makes this a must for its genre. I like her thoughts in the first chapter and the way you use that to introduce the other characters. Wonderful. Backed earlier and glad to read on to comment.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

RichardBard wrote 777 days ago

This is a wonderfully written quest fantasy. Your easy flowing writing style is as she adventures toward the hot spring is reminiscent of Farland or Modesitt. The imagery is vivid, the pace is tight and the POV is spot on. But it's your characterization of Jia that makes this story compelling. Well done. Backed.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Quarter-Finalist)

Ransom Heart wrote 790 days ago

This lady with the duck in her pocket -- it's very poignant.
Backed!
Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

Famlavan wrote 769 days ago

Heartstrings

There is a real mythical magic to this story.
I like very much how you expose Jia’s emotions to the reader, it builds character so well.
This to me has a definite edge over most fantasy books because of the depth of character. Highly imaginative and very well told. – Good luck

RichardBard wrote 288 days ago

Hi Joyce!

Since you haven’t been to Authonomy for a while, I hope it’s okay that I’m sending this through your book comment:

I’d like to thank you for backing BRAINRUSH (a Thriller) last year. Because of you it hit the Authonomy Number-1 slot, attracted an agent, and landed a film option. Now that’s a brain-rush! The formal book launch is September 1st and the sequel will be released in December. None of this would have been possible without your help. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Sincerely,
Richard Bard, BRAINRUSH

PS. If you want a good laugh, check out the temporary book-trailer video on the BRAINRUSH website. It’s there as a placeholder for the upcoming professional video. The current one features children and it’s guaranteed to make you smile! And yes, the younger kid on the screen is really me. You can see the video at www.RichardBard.com. The link is also on my Authonomy profile page. Special offer for former Authonomy backers between now and the formal launch on Sept 1st: If you would like to receive a “Review” copy of the eBook (plus 2 FREE thrillers from the Kindle Top-20 PAID Bestseller list – yes, really), go to the website, click the “Contact” button, and leave a message that includes your Authonomy username and the secret code words “I Feel the Rush!” Details of this promo will be emailed to you. Thanks!

Lynne Ellison wrote 588 days ago

This is one of of the most enjoyable books I have read on Authonomy. A very compelling read, and and intriguing vision of an alternate world.


Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

Craig Ellis wrote 601 days ago

Fabulous opening. You've gradually fed us bits of your world in the narrative, and created tension with the plight of your MC in the snowstorm. Already this promises to be a richly detailed read, a book you can cozy up to a fire with. Backed with pleasure!

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

Alexander85 wrote 604 days ago

hello Joyce,
the pitch has pulled me in both because of the idea i original and compelling and because of the eclectic nature of the protagonists companions.

when more time becomes available i shall read my way through Jai's story with great anticipation of an epic read.

good luck.

Alexander Allen -'The Middle of Nowhere'
Ps if you too get the time if you could have a quick flick through my story that would be greatly appreciated.

John Warren-Anderson wrote 623 days ago

Interesting and enchanting story. Good narative.
I back it.

Pia wrote 633 days ago

Joyce -

Heartstrings - I was struck by the definition of heartstrings - the physical embodiment of Jia's will. A moving and enchanting tale, beautifully told. Thanks for leading me to it.

Backed, Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Despinas1 wrote 671 days ago

This is a really good story joyce and deserves my backing
Sincerely
Helen

Wilma1 wrote 700 days ago

Yur imagery is excellent and it drew me straight i. This is a beautifully told tale I love the extra touch of having Duck companions, a most unusual idea and it works really well denoting her empathy and caring nature. The dwarfdom seems like a nice place to be. I have read three chapters and am more than happy to back this.

Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley

Barry Wenlock wrote 706 days ago

Hi Joyce, I read the first two chapters and enjoyed them, although this isn't my usual kind of read. You write well and the idea of heartstrings is a great one -- very original.
Backed and on my shelf.
Best wishes, Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Jess W@gn3r wrote 715 days ago

Your plot is very original, your writing smoothly flowing. I am backing your book for sure. Would you mind taking a look at Redemption for me?

E. Yazykova wrote 735 days ago

gorgeous cover and premise! backed.

E.

ps - thanks for supporting my work

S Richard Betterton wrote 735 days ago

This is an atmospheric world you've created, and the interraction between the dwarves and Jia works really well. You might want to reword a few of the paragraph starts - you have a lot beginning with 'She'.
eg. 2nd para chap 1: Her hands barely even tingled when she tried thumping them...
Anyway, very enjoyable.

A Knight wrote 736 days ago

What a hook. First line in and we're right there, sharing your character's exhaustion. This is wonderfully skilled and dazzling. I enjoyed myself immensely, and you've kept the pace moving along nicely. An excellent effort.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Becca wrote 743 days ago

You did an excellent job setting up motivation and setting. The evocative descriptions definitely had me caring for Jia from the beginning. This is perfect for the target audience. I'd say it kind of reminds me of the Chronicals of narnia, but for an older audience (well, I did like CoN, but I like this more, so far) And the motives and world are very different, I just mean the 'feel' of the story. Excellent voice.
Backed.

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

D.C. Grace wrote 752 days ago

I absolutely adore the idea of "heartstrings" being taken. What an original idea, wrapped soundly and brilliantly in a fairy tale style of writing. Very imaginative, it's a tale all of my daughters would enjoy, ranging in age from 8 - 16!
Write on!
D.C. Grace
The Sacred Oath

Andrew Burans wrote 753 days ago

Your vivid imagination has created a new world and your smooth, flowing writing style easily transports the reader there. Your use of imagery is excellent and your character development is superb. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Rakhi wrote 758 days ago

You have created a fantasy that many would love an escape to! The character 'Jia' alone can carry this book, she is so well portrayed. Couple with a great mystical plot makes this a must for its genre. I like her thoughts in the first chapter and the way you use that to introduce the other characters. Wonderful. Backed earlier and glad to read on to comment.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

nakiacap wrote 759 days ago

I loved the MC in this story, I believe YA's will agree backed with pleasure

huangcck wrote 767 days ago

Ok, your pitch made some critical errors like many stories of your genre. people who write fantasy often neglect to describe certain terms and phraeseologies they use in the pitch and it leaves a brand new reader confused. i am sure in the book you have explained all these terms and stuff in detail, but in the pitch it is assumed. since your audience has not read the book, they will not be able to know those terms unless you give them a brief description.

heartstrings - no idea what this is
hen-herdess - ? herding hens? or is this something that needs more description?
"one who removes her heartstrings..." - i don't know what this means, why would anyone want to remove her heartstrings?
Southern Lands - Are you talking about lands in the south? in which case, they shouldn't be capitalized. Is this related to Ckelnor?

Nothing in the 3rd paragraph makes any sense to me, primarily because I do not know what a heartstring is. So you can see why your pitch would confuse a brand new reader. You want to modify your pitch to reach a more general audience, explaining terminologies you are using.

But yes, your work seems very cute and imaginative. I think definately it will be enjoyable for young adults as well as kids.

Good luck!

Famlavan wrote 769 days ago

Heartstrings

There is a real mythical magic to this story.
I like very much how you expose Jia’s emotions to the reader, it builds character so well.
This to me has a definite edge over most fantasy books because of the depth of character. Highly imaginative and very well told. – Good luck

kristinnb wrote 775 days ago

This is beauifully written. Your descriptions are real and help us readers to imagine what it is you are describing. Full of adventures, this story is engaging and exactly my type of book. Backed with pleasure.

Kristin
Demon in the Knight

Natalie Jones wrote 776 days ago

I actually started at chapter 31 after Jia was set free and found myself immediately drawn into the story. And there is definitely a difference in the types of "freedoms," you expressed. This is well done and has a wholesome, solid message many readers will enjoy and appreciate.

Backed and good luck
Natalie

RichardBard wrote 777 days ago

This is a wonderfully written quest fantasy. Your easy flowing writing style is as she adventures toward the hot spring is reminiscent of Farland or Modesitt. The imagery is vivid, the pace is tight and the POV is spot on. But it's your characterization of Jia that makes this story compelling. Well done. Backed.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Quarter-Finalist)

SusieGulick wrote 777 days ago

Dear Joyce, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me." Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "backed" & "commented" on your book, I came to your "comment" page to help it advance more. I will also put it on my "watchlist" to hopefully help it move up. Could you please take a moment to back my unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." I'd be ever so grateful. :) Love, Susie :)
I will back/comment on your other 2 books, too, which I just discovered that you have. :)

A. L. Reynolds wrote 781 days ago

Original, fascinating and well-wriiten! Backed with pleasure!

Steve.Tee wrote 782 days ago

Being Authonomy's #1 common potato, I would suggest that you spend a good deal of time on your SPAM. I cannot overemphasize just how important it is for you to master this basic Authonomy technique. SPAM the would-be author and the casual reader. SPAM your auntie's cat.
Also, say “SHELVED!” or “BACKED!” as often as is humanly possible. That's how you climb in ranking and gather more exposure for your novel.

I can use your shelving of my book when you get the chance. Bottoms up!

Jeremiah Corns
Hell's Angel
Authonomy's #1 rated anti-religion novel.

Today's pieces of #1 advice are: BEWARE OF PITCH INVASIONS and PUSH YOUR SOOTY TO THE MAX!”


soutexmex wrote 782 days ago

Being Authonomy's #1 commentator. Spend some time on your pitches I cannot overemphasize how you need to master this basic sales technique to grab the casual reader. That's how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

Melcom wrote 783 days ago

Great idea for a story, trekking through the mountains in search of an elusive hot spring. A thrilling read from the off. An emotional journey put across wonderfully and descriptively well.

Happily shelved

Wishing you the best of luck with it.

Melxx
Impeding Justice

sjbal wrote 784 days ago

Hi Joyce,
This is a really good fantasy adventure. Your descriptions of both scenes and characters are excellently written and you really manage to pull the reader into the story. I enjoyed reading it a lot and will put it on my shelf with pleasure.
Good luck,
James (The Lycetta Legacy).

gillyflower wrote 786 days ago

This is a pitch which attracted me easily. It has magic, a moving story, a girl in trouble who is nevertheless brave and very appealing. You write from Jia's point of view, and we feel her emotions, share her fears and problems, and like her from the start. Her trek across the mountain amid the icy cold, searching for the hot springs, is immensely exciting and moving. The appearance of the two dwarfs, who promise to take her there, is very satisfying, and you hook us in easily to want to know more. Your writing is good, and your descriptions are especially successful, with their clear detail and beauty. I was impressed by your insight into character, shown in such sentences as, 'until she could accept the pain, till she was brave enough to act despite it.' Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

lynn clayton wrote 786 days ago

It's an excellent fantasy pitch but could you split it into paragraphs to make it easier to read?
There are some lovely creatures in this story, many which you never expect to meet in run-of-the-mill fantasy. But this book, with its pronounced emotion, is different. You descriptive passages are beautiful. Backed. Lynn

olga wrote 786 days ago

Hi

An interesting story. This has potential but is in need of an edit to make it shine.
A nit I picked up is below.
'She almost wanted to stay there, lying down in the snow, and give up. Tenses problem, also awkward sentence.
When you've given it an edit, please message me and I'll give it another read.
Cheers olga

Francesco wrote 786 days ago

Backed with pleasure! Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further read and possible backing of your book.

SusieGulick wrote 790 days ago

Dear Joyce, I love fiction, fantasy, & Christian. :) Your story is a good read because you create interest by having dialogue & a heartfelt story. It makes me want to keep reading & reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Please take a moment to back my TWO Books, ... "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" ... AND the UNEDITED version? ... "Tell Me True Love Stories"
Thanks, Susie :)

Burgio wrote 790 days ago

This book tells about an interesting world where there lives a unicorn named Harold. You have a good character in Jia. She's likable and the kind of character you want to follow as she explores this world (all with a duck in her pocket). It's a good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Ransom Heart wrote 790 days ago

This lady with the duck in her pocket -- it's very poignant.
Backed!
Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

Barry Wenlock wrote 790 days ago

Hi Joyce, I've no hesitation in backing this. It has potential for the market, after some more polishing. BACKED!
Best wishes, Barry
(Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

Lockjaw Lipssealed wrote 790 days ago

I think you have a very strong story going here.and you bring it to life very well. I hesitated a bit with some of the narrative, uncertain if what I was reading was an intended voice or you just needed to be a bit more clear. Please don't take that as a complaint, as I found myself starting to enjoy the quirky feel of the narrative.

Lockjaw

Hatts wrote 791 days ago

What a wonderful story - Pepik, Duck, Dwarves, woodsprites...... beautifully written and effortless to read. Good luck and warm wishes. Backed
Hatts x

lizjrnm wrote 791 days ago

What a wondeful rendering of a story - down to earth and polished! BACKED with pleasure!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Jim Darcy wrote 791 days ago

We have both hens and ducks so this was an instant draw. This is a lovely book, full of wonder and enchantment. I have never come across a hen-herdress so that is a good hook too. Jia makes for an engaging MC and your world is well realised. Not sure about the c and k at the beginning of the land's name but, hey, that's just my opinion. Good luck with this, it should do well here. Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

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