The Qualities of Wood

The Qualities of Wood -
This is another gem on this site! Beautifully written, relatable, and you have clear talent. I'm hooked, only on chapter one, and about to read more...
backed with pleasure
abi

Another valuable find on this site! Great care and flawless attention to detail has been spent on this book. There are tempting offerings and a buildup of sexual tension interspersed and laying in wait for later. It is clear early on that this novel will not disappoint the reader. The glowing comments left here are well deserved.
Best Wishes.
Bradley Haynes (Tricia)

Oh... this is a typical example of how a good book should be written, Mary. The opening paragraph is a gem! It is so relatable it draws the reader in immediately. You don't so much describe; rather you show through intelligent use of words and a simplified structure in your writing. Refreshingly wonderful!

I like Vivian. I study people in crowds ; across the aisle on airplanes, at cafes. I try to find out why they're ordinary... or special. I would have studied Vivian. That's how you've created your characters; imaginative and alive by being REAL people. Bravo!

There's also a quiet rhthym to your prose, It's natural and twinkles awake with some excellent dialogue. Well done! I feel like I know this couple already and I've only read a few chapters.

Given your position in the ranking, I think it has more to do with your talent as a writer, rather than begging for backing. This book deserves to be up there with the shining glitter and decorating the mahogany of the ED. I sincerely hope all your wishes come true with this. Best of luck!

Warm Regards
Andrew

Simple,pure and absolutely beautiful. Wonderful work and it is sitting on my bookshelf.

Samantha

When I first read The Qualities of Wood I said the beautiful writing reminded me of Marilynne Robinson. It still does. Also Anne Tyler. My two favourite writers. So I've had to temper this comment with restraint, lest I gush foolishly and somehow miss the specific strengths that are unique to Ms Mary Vensel White. Because Mary writes so beautifully that in years to come people will say to other aspiring writers - 'read Mary Vensel White's books, that's the sort of writing to aspire to'. It's what I aspire to. So here's my new comment:

The gentle rhythm in the opening paragraphs of The Qualities of Wood is like a door thrown open to the reader. It welcomes us. The clarity of the prose draws us into Vivian and Nowell’s world as they arrive for a year in the American Midwest: ‘fields of indecisive green, hills falling short of remarkable’, a small white house elevated slightly, ‘like a judge on his bench’, peeling paint that ‘gave the impression of something bursting its seams’, ‘a bluish shadow stretched, tongue-like down the front steps and onto the lawn’; dirt roads. The house has stood abandoned for three years. They have much to do. There’s a light in the forest. We are enthralled.

Right from the start glimmers into the dynamics of Vivian and Nowell’s relationship engage us. Nowell’s proud of the house, Vivian realises. He’s a writer; she's left a job in the city after 7 years. We know this move to the country is huge, unsettling. He wants a baby, she’s not ready. Loneliness hovers.

Tension is invisibly woven between clear, bare prose. A body is found in the forest. On Mr Stokes's land.

It’s mesmerising.

You are an amazing writer Mary......Thankyou! Thankyou! Thankyou!

Congratulations on being the first published with the new imprint! I'm two chapters into your book and I can see why you made it!

Ken Floyd
Waves of Regret

Thanks for supporting my sister, Ellise Weaver, and her book. You comments mean a great deal to both of us. It makes me feel so good for her that people are so positive and enjoy her hard work, but most of all that they take the time to tell her that. She's been working hard on all the sequels, so I hope you'll continue to enjoy and support her and her books!

Also, I suggested that she get a new book cover (I had some sway due to being the photographer and her favorite sister ;) ) and since you have been kind and enjoyed her book, I know she would love to hear what you think.

And to say a proper thank you, I'll be checking out your book and I'm sure the ratings will be high ;)

Thanks again and best of luck to you!

Diane

Beautifully written. I mostly read crime/comedy/farce, but between the quote from Willa Cather and the first line where the woman doesn't recognize her own husband, I was hooked. Mary's sense of rhythm and lyrical grace are breathtaking. I couldn't stop reading. Thanks for writing it, Mary.

Fortress for One chs. 1-3. I read chapter one twice, for the subtext, and because there seemed to be a lot happening; and the rest i read only once.
I take it this is a first draft, and so I won't go into detailed editing.

I like it. Older single women of Gina's sort are not frequent main characters in the pages of novels, so I love the way you take up her case, warts and all, and set about making her interesting. And you do. And there's a down to earth authentic feel to the characterisation of the rest of her family too.

I love the wipe sweep of the opening paragraphs, the cinematic feel, though I wonder why you need, 'If this were a movie.... Unless you are trying to tell us something about Gina's character. I would be inclined to begin, 'Chicago in the Rain.' It's stronger. And I'd cut, 'Direction is subjective,' and go straight to, 'Another pair of eyes.' In other words, keep the cinematic stance, the ambiguity, without the stated allusion, until you get to, 'But it's not a movie' I'd keep that. 'But it's not a movie', gives a good signal to the reader that we are moving from omniscient to 3rd person close POV. It's all you need.

The segue from Gina at the office to the Gap commercial is very well done, evocative, and I love the way you give us an all-round picture of her life, office life, home life, inner and outer, as well as her relationship with the boss.

In the paragraph beginning, 'Once, Gina's parents went to the drive-in....' I found the characterisation there of both Gina and her mother beautifully evoked, but in the next para., I wasn't sure what you were hinting at. As I did not know at that point that Gina had an older sister, who, it turns out later, is called Deborah, I wondered if you meant her mother had called her after Gina Lollobrigida, perhaps! Withholding this information about the siter does n't really add anything in terms of suspense, so I would clarify that.

I would also cut Gina seeing her features in the computer screen (a mirror), as it is such a cliche, as are 'shards'.
As main POV character, we need a sense of her physical presence more than her actual features, and you'll find a more personal way to include them at some point.

Otherwise, I couldn't find any more problems with chs. 2 and 3, except for the enormous amount of backstory. But I imagine you will weed that out at a later stage, once you discover what you need to tell the reader for the sake of the story, and what you can keep to yourself. The revelation at the end of ch.3 of the existence of a
daughter was totally unexpected, and hook to read on. Do please message me if you upload any more, as I would like to read more of this. And good luck.

Well done Mary. This is great news from Harper Collins. Sounds like they are backing your book for publishing.

Congratulations.
I am sure, your book will soon come out the wood of editorial tweeking to reach bookshelf.
TMN
"NEVER LOSE..."

Excellent feedback from Harper Collins. Does this mean you have a deal?

Congratulations. I hope they pick it up.

J M Cornwell
Among Women
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/46125

Excellent news from your review, Mary. Congrats!

Wow--congratulations on a great review!

SC Dwinnell, "Never Let Him go."

I only read the first chapter ,as is my want ,and time to spare. Loved it. Backed for magical things happening in your words. All the best, Sarah

Dear Mary,
Bueutifully and economically written, I'm just drawn along, wanting to know more. A read pleaseure to read.

Kia ora
Philip Bradbury

As I am new to commenting on this site, I wanted to read the books that had made it to the desk. I read to chapter 6. These are my opinions as a reader. I found the beginning a little slow and stilted, but the style flowed a little better after a few chapters. This deserves to do well. Good luck.

Beautiful descriptives almost poetic yet with an air of mystery. The first chapter grabbed me and will absolutely read more.

Don

Natural dialogue, masterful telling, tight prose, and a wonderful story. Here's my unrelenting, unforgiving critique: wonderful, wonderful work. I envy your ability to compact details into something which feels so natural and compulsively readable. Thank you for this work.

omg, love that quote by willa cather! can't wait to read your work.

i'd love for you to review my manuscript with that quote in mind, and comment/share what you think!

Dear Mary we are enjoying your book and have decided to back it. From Pete and Sue. P.S Would you be kind enough to take a look at our first book First Impressions. We would appreciate any feedback Thank you.

Just read the first three chapters and have given you a gold star. Now I look forward to reading the rest

Although I agree with the preponderance of opinion that she's a good writer, I found myself skipping to the end to see whether my suspicious were correct. They were, and I skipped ahead because of the repetitiousness of detail. I feel she's such a good writer that she gets stuck in wordsmithing and not moving the plot along.

Nnetheless an impressive piece of writing.

Mary,
have just finished all 45 chapters... Wow a lesson in how to write for sure! Reminds me of a porch swing on a summer day. Beautifully consturcted and vivd local colour wonderful dialogue and character insights.
Sorry i couldn't get this done by the end of last month but this book must be savoured and not rushed. Glad you got to the desk and hopefully it will result in a book deal.
Thoroughly enjoyed the read and i feel a sense of sorrow about leaving these characters...
:)
Diane

Mary,
have just finished all 45 chapters... Wow a lesson in how to write for sure! Reminds me of a porch swing on a summer day. Beautifully consturcted and vivd local colour wonderful dialogue and character insights.
Sorry i couldn't get this done by the end of last month but this book must be savoured and not rushed. Glad you got to the desk and hopefully it will result in a book deal.
Thoroughly enjoyed the read and i feel a sense of sorrow about leaving these characters...
:)
Diane

Mary,
have just finished all 45 chapters... Wow a lesson in how to write for sure! Reminds me of a porch swing on a summer day. Beautifully consturcted and vivd local colour wonderful dialogue and character insights.
Sorry i couldn't get this done by the end of last month but this book must be savoured and not rushed. Glad you got to the desk and hopefully it will result in a book deal.
Thoroughly enjoyed the read and i feel a sense of sorrow about leaving these characters...
:)
Diane

Hi! So i've read the first couple of chapters. It did starts off a bit slow, as the reader you kind of have to push through, but after the first chapter or so it's a really good read. You have a nice, smooth tone to your writing that I really enjoyed. The characters are well developed as well. Over all, I think this is worth reading.

*neicy*

thoroughly enjoyed the read.

I'm sorry I couldn't read this story in time. It has a nice poetic feel to it. You did a beautiful job with this. No wonder it was picked as one of the top five. Well-done on a beautifully written piece.

I could easily go on reading this one. Good descriptive narrative, natural dialogue, a lot of fresh ways of saying things, a constant sense that the story is going somwhere interesting, easy to read, captivating characters created by present happenings and little snippets of background appropriately placed. The book has a good pitch to attract readers/buyers.

Well done, Mary. Wish I had more time at the moment.

Thomas W Devine
author of "A Halo of Strawberries"
P.S. Mary, I'd appreciate your comments on my book.

I could easily go on reading this one. Good descriptive narrative, natural dialogue, a lot of fresh ways of saying things, a constant sense that the story is going somwhere interesting, easy to read, captivating characters created by present happenings and little snippets of background appropriately placed. The book has a good pitch to attract readers/buyers.

Well done, Mary. Wish I had more time at the moment.

Thomas W Devine
author of "A Halo of Strawberries"
P.S. Mary, I'd appreciate your comments on my book.

I could easily go on reading this one. Good descriptive narrative, natural dialogue, a lot of fresh ways of saying things, a constant sense that the story is going somwhere interesting, easy to read, captivating characters created by present happenings and little snippets of background appropriately placed. The book has a good pitch to attract readers/buyers.

Well done, Mary. Wish I had more time at the moment.

Thomas W Devine
author of "A Halo of Strawberries"
P.S. Mary, I'd appreciate your comments on my book.

i must comment on it...i have been reading it nonstop now and am still hooked...i love it, you write this book the way a novel should be written!!! however, please do not kick me for saying i found your sentences at various places quite long and thus confusing so that one loses track of the actual sentence and has to go back to read it and get its exact tone and sense. But maybe that's just me. I love descriptions, but i must admit i agree when people say too many descriptions make you lose track...but then every writer is unique by the way they think and in turn the way they put down those thoughts into words...so this is your own style you know. Best of luck
nagwa
The Mist and
Life Makes a Novel

The attention to detail here is amazing. The characters and scene really come alive. I've only read a few chapters but wil definitely continue. Your talent is great and it's no wonder The Qualities of Wood got picked for review. Congratulations and best of luck!
Happily backed,
Elizabeth

thoroughly enjoyed the read

microscopic and vivid to every detail......it has a filmic taste...

good luck!!!!!

Peter P

Chapter 11: I wondered why Vivian spent time thinking and commenting about Nowell's brother Lonnie. Now I see why. Perhaps a little foreshadowing when his name is mentioned in the begining. Something like ... She and Lonnie had a confrontation years before that Vivian couldn't shake. And what did she think of what Lonnie said to her about Nowell, then and now? Also, Vivian's laughter about Mr. Stokes description of Lonnie seems a little inappropiate during such a solem matter--where the mother is seeing, for the first time, where her only daughter died. I hope this is helpful. ajb

Hi, I am on Chapter 7 and will continue to read the story through to the end. It is interesting concept and intriguing. A dead seventeen year old is always sad. I have a few questions. I am wondering where in the US this story is located? If you mentioned the location, the info didn't stick in my brain. I feel you need a little more conflict, the baby issue, why is Vivian put off by the thought, what are their ages, and what importance is Katherine? I'm sure the picture will play itself out, but hints, conflicts always keep me turning the pages. Overall, the dialogue is good, sounds natural, but maybe just a little too much of it going nowhere, not tightened up enough. All of us could use a line editor, myself included, so I'm not worried about that part. Am looking forward to reading more. You are backed. ajb

Although this story has a fairly slow pace, it adds to the slowly building tension in the plot, giving the reader a false sense of security.
I can't really comment on character development, having only read the first 5 chapters. However, Viviene is a very likable character and her interactions with other characters such as Katherine make the story flow more easily.
Even the title of this piece evokes a sense of mystery, and you have really achieved a plot that has multiple layers.
I will deffinately read more when i have time.
5 stars and backed with pleasure.
Best of luck, Amy

Only read one chapter so far - the rest tomorrow. Why aren't you published? I can't fault this first chapter. It has just enough exposition, real people, a hint of mystery which leads one on to ch.2, some dialogue, paras not too long and well laid out. Have I neglected anything?

Sorry, but I got bored. I think you need to work on setting your hook sooner and way deeper.

"Entering the terminal, Vivian walked past her waiting husband without seeing. Quick footsteps and a familiar hand on her shoulder. She spun to find Nowell peering down at her curiously. "I didn't see," She began as her husband's arms welcomed her.

Driving home, Nowell rested his hand on her thigh as if they were still dating. His prominent cheekbones and ruddy lips remained handsome as the rural countryside sped past.
~~~~

Point being, get to the point more quickly. Time is valuable.

You have V passing - something. Consider 'past him.' "through the brightly-colored" implies progress against the crowd but later she is "pulled along with the crowd."

If she were 'hunting' for Nowell, why did she go from inside to outside the terminal instead of hunting inside where he was expected?

I am wondering why a terminal exists here when the surrounding community is rural and un-worldly. I live within an hour of Washington D.C. and have to drive more than an hour to find a commercial airport. Where is the story based that a commercial airline operates in this fashion? A rural airport having long-term parking seems unlikely because rural roads are prime for free on-street parking.

"On the way to the house" or home? "the house" seems less familial.

Not sure what a gash of a cheekbone is or how it can be neat.

"A white or brown house [singular]" shadowed by "barns[plural]."

So………enticed by your pitch, I started reading at Chapter 20 as suggested and easily picked up the threads. This is a work of many intriguing parts. The next few chapters are dialogue driven, casual almost, interspersed with neat descriptions, followed by several stealthy chapters where suspicion overrides, and then the introduction of underlying disharmony and resentment. This works on many different levels, personal relationships, the ‘thriller’ aspect, social/political conscience. Amongst the things I particularly liked; the title for one, and the way you keep repeating it (certainly in one of the chapters I read, made me ponder the exact significance), how Vivian felt upon discovering Nowell’s absence and how she relates this to the change in her relationship with her father when she disappointed him years before; I very much like some of your almost throw-away descriptions and the cleverness of your similes/metaphors. This is accomplished writing, Mary, polished and complete, I read more than I had intended so it certainly grips. I’m sure that it will prove as popular with the reading public as it has here and can readily visualise this in print and on the screen. Well done, I feel that you have a genuine chance with this.

Good luck
Ellie

I very much like your style of writing and enjoyed reading this story.

Wow! Your writing style is absolutely gorgeous. The flow and pacing is pretty much perfect and it's easy to become immersed in your writing. There's beauty in every line, even when it's dialogue and reads naturally. Wonderful. :)

Backed and starred!

Hi Mary

Here are my comments.

General comments : -
1. It is not my typical genre for reading, but many people obviously enjoy it.
2. The story flows well, but there’s not a lot of action.
3. You have too many dialogue attributives – “he said” etc. Most are unnecessary as it is obvious who is talking. These are distracting.

Some detailed comments : -
Long Pitch
I would rather read just your words. Doesn’t seem to tell much about the story.
Ch 1
Suggest changing “… and Nowell was over six feet” to “…as high as Nowell’s shoulder.” Dimensions are distracting and are more difficult to imagine than a description.
Suggest changing “…the first several rows…” to “…the first rows…”
Suggest that there is too much history all at once in the first half.
Suggest changing “They couple had gotten…” to “The couple had gotten…”
There are no physical descriptions of Vivian and Nowell, except height. I am left wondering what they look like - you need to start this almost as soon as they appear on the scene.
There is a lot of passive text.
Ch 2
I cannot see any story emerging.
There is a lot of passive text.

Hope this helps.
Best regards
George

Very well written with great sensitivity and insight.

Miles A. Robinson
Song for My Father & Loud Lucy Ludlow

The sadness and awkardness between Vivian and Nowell portrays the breakdown in their relationship brilliantly. I am looking forward to delving into it some more as soon as I can.

Best of Luck,

Hughie

The Qualities of Wood
A strangely enticing title, A "to the point" short-pitch and a well laid out -professional looking long pitch. I must read this entire work soon...but i have a feeling it will be in paperback sooner!
-s

Beautifully written; refreshing.

Katherine of vessels

Your story is well written. I find the title very unique. I like ones that are different--usually they turn out to be worth reading because they're are just that--different. I'm very curious about those lights in the forest. I'll be coming back when I can. I wish you luck on your ambitions!

--Shieldmaiden

Hi Mary, A very interesting novel. good development of characters and I BACK the book, wishing you all the very best. Hartold Alvin(ICON)Wesley