Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 12479
date submitted 26.03.2010
date updated 18.10.2011
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction
classification: moderate
incomplete

The Qualities of Wood

Mary Vensel White

A girl is found in the woods and a tangle of secrets unravels. Can Vivian trust her impressions? Can she trust anyone?

 

"The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one’s own." --Willa Cather

When Vivian and her husband Nowell are enlisted to prepare his late grandmother’s house for sale, they decide to take a break from city life. Nowell leaves before his wife to begin work on his second mystery novel, and by the time Vivian joins him in the country, a real mystery has begun. A local girl has died in the woods behind the house. Nowell’s brother, a shiftless and rough sort, arrives with his new wife, and details begin to emerge about the girl. Vivian is enmeshed, even after the death is ruled an accident. She can't forget it, can't ignore the strange behavior of the lonely bachelor who lives nearby. Meanwhile, her marriage is unraveling as Nowell loses himself in his work and Vivian seeks purpose and truth.

The Qualities of Wood is about the things we tell and sell ourselves to get by. It’s about impressions about the past and present, and whether they can be trusted. And it’s about the difficulty of relationships and the subjectivity that makes us uniquely human.

 
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tags

connection, drama, family, fiction, marriage, memory, mystery, nature, relationships, suspense, truth, women's

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    In the small, congested airport, Vivian didn’t recognize her husband.  Summertime.  Outside, the sun beamed white on the runway and grassy fields.  Inside, the terminal was stuffy and warm.  Vivian passed a group of brightly-clothed summer travelers, this haze of blue, pink, yellow and green, and walked slowly along an eye-level, smudged window and into the crowded inlet beside the gate, all the while hunting for Nowell.  Somehow, she walked right by.

She imagined the terminal was normally empty, the surrounding community being rural and unworldly.  But it was the season of vacations:  eastern hometowns, tropical beaches, exotic cities.  Not everyone was headed to an abandoned house in the country, she thought.  The travelers dispersed purposefully, trailing loved ones or heading solo toward the cars parked in rows at the front of the building.  Vivian was pulled along with the crowd.  Nowell was late.  At first she felt irritated but quickly dismissed the feeling.  It was a reunion, she reminded herself. 

A large hand gripped her shoulder and she spun around. 

“Where are you going?”  Nowell’s deep voice.  His dark eyes.

    “I couldn’t see you,” she said.  She reached up for him, grasped his shoulders as though to pull herself up.  “I didn’t see you.”

On the way to the house, she soaked him in:  the shadowed gash of his cheekbone, his ruddy lips.  Nowell kept his hand on her thigh.  His touch felt curiously foreign after their four-week separation, but it ignited something too. 

The drive wasn’t long, the countryside a blur of sameness.  Fields of indecisive green, hills falling short of remarkable.  Here and there a white or brown-shingled house, some shadowed by barns.  The predictable Midwest

Nowell’s hand left her leg to steer the car onto a dirt driveway.  “What do you think?” he asked.

    Vivian peered through the windshield.  The small, white house was set back from the road and elevated slightly, like a judge on his bench.  The sun lit the house from behind.  White with dark green trim, wide strips of paint were missing altogether; these sections of bare wood gave the impression of something bursting its seams.  Two narrow windows gazed at the newcomers and beneath them, a bluish shadow stretched, tongue-like, down the front steps and onto the lawn.

    “It looks stable,” Vivian said.

    Nowell chuckled.  The truck made a strange revving sound after he removed the key.  “Just the timing,” he told her. 

Vivian nodded.  She knew the truck was like the house, old and in disrepair.  Nowell had traded in their Honda when he left the city.  They gave up the lease on their apartment and he moved first to arrange things.  For a month, Vivian stayed at her parents’ house, working at her job for a couple more paychecks.  It was the longest period of time they had ever spent apart.

    She hadn’t been particularly attached to their Honda, a blue hatchback with gray seats, but the truck was big and awkward.  The worn seat belt was loose over her lap, leaving almost enough room for another person.  Vivian’s feet grazed the floor.  Like a child, she had only a limited view over the dash.

    Nowell opened the passenger door and lifted her out of the truck.  Vivian stood about five-four and Nowell was over six feet.  Everyone in her family seemed shorter than average, while his whole family was tall.  At their wedding, the first several rows in church seemed like a tilted painting, or a photograph enhanced for effect:  his family on one side, hers on the other.  Four years married, she thought.  She would be twenty-eight this summer.

    Late July heat lingered in the air and warmed the lawn, though the sun was beginning to fade.  The air was fragrant with live things.  In the shaded areas, cool grass poked through Vivian’s sandals.  She stood for a moment, studying her new home.  Nowell’s grandfather had built the house as a newlywed and when he died in a hunting accident, Nowell’s grandmother stayed and finished raising their three children. 

His grandmother was stubborn and tied to the place, Nowell said.  She seldom took vacations or visited family.  Vivian met Grandma Gardiner twice:  at their wedding, and when Nowell’s brother, Lonnie, had a serious accident.  The old woman hadn’t left much of an impression on her; she remembered spindly legs and gray hair pinned above one ear with a clip.

At one time, the house was probably fresh and welcoming; now it showed its age.  A wooden swing, dusty from neglect, hung unevenly from the porch rafters.  Its chains were pocked with rust.  Three small windows formed a triangle at the peak of the roof, under a section of roof where the tiles had bubbled up.  An attic, Vivian thought.

    Nowell kicked up a cloud of dust.  “Lonnie left this morning,” he said.  “Sorry to miss you, but he wanted to get back.”

    “Well, you had him for two weeks,” she said, picturing Nowell’s burly brother.  “Did you get much done?”

    “Definitely.  I was glad for the help.”  Nowell rummaged through the bushes beside the porch, picking up twigs and scraps of paper with his long, elegant fingers.

    “Do they still have that apartment?” Vivian asked.

    “Yeah, but they want to move.”

    “Why?”

    “Too small.  It’s only a one bedroom.”

    She looked at him.  “Ours was a one bedroom.”

    “And it was too small.”  Nowell dumped the handful of garbage into a metal trash can, then stared at the tall grass.  It sprouted in clumps, trapping bits of rubbish next to the house.

    “Is Lonnie working now?” Vivian asked.

    “He’ll look for something as soon as he gets back.  They still have some of the money my grandma left.”

    “That won’t last forever.”

    Nowell looked at her quickly.  A warning.  “Dorothy has a job,” he said.

    Vivian couldn’t help but be skeptical where Lonnie was concerned.  When Nowell had told her Lonnie was coming to help clean up the house, she figured there was something he wanted.  And now there was a wife, too, whom Vivian hadn’t met.  She could only imagine a woman with the same lack of ambition if she’d been foolish enough to marry Lonnie.  They’d been married for a few months now, had known each other for only two weeks when they headed for city hall.  Vivian’s mother-in-law, Beverly, harped on and on about the elopement, a welcome change since she usually overlooked Lonnie’s faults. 

Vivian leaned on the banister enclosing the porch.  “When are we going to meet Dorothy?”

    Nowell’s face relaxed.  “He said they’ll try to visit while we’re here.”

    Her stomach tightened.  “That’s good,” she said, moving towards him.  “We might get lonely out here.”    

    Nowell wiped his hands on his jeans and leaned down, setting his large hands on her hips.  “I’ve been lonely.”

    His touch still had an effect on her, a physical charge, and she had missed it.  “Even though your brother was here?” she teased.

    He smiled.  “Somehow it’s not the same.”

The breeze picked up.  It blew through Vivian’s hair and brought goose bumps out on her arms.  Nowell pulled her close then held her at arm’s length.  “Let’s look at the back before we go in.”  His eyes fairly gleamed.  He was proud of the house, Vivian realized.

    The grass was high in the front yard, higher still at the sides of the house.  Nowell led Vivian by the hand, all the while talking enthusiastically.  He showed her the well, dug a short distance away.  When they leaned over, it smelled damp and musty.  Since Vivian left the rural airport, she had been intensely aware of the new sounds and smells around her.

“The chimney is unblocked,” Nowell said.  “And we cleared most of the leaves and large trash.”  He shook his head.  “Three years of neglect.  You wouldn’t believe what was lying around.”

“Looks good,” Vivian acknowledged. 

“A road crew is paving the main road,” he added.  “They’re about five miles away now, just outside of town.  They should be past here by the end of the summer.”

    “It’ll be nice having a paved road,” she said.

    “But that’s why I bought the truck, for the bumpy dirt roads.”

    She pushed his arm.  “Poor Nowell.  Your fantasies of country living."

    They turned at the back corner of the house and the open space hit her like a deep breath.  The backyard was a large and unfenced expanse.  Here grass grew unchecked into a knee-high field, all of it shimmering in the gentle wind and crackling as they walked.  About forty feet from the house, the land sloped downward.  In the distance stood a line of trees, fairly thick against the sliver of orange that remained of the sun.

    “We could barbecue out here if we cut the grass,” Nowell said.  “I found an old grill in that shed near the well.  And look.  This is the room where I’ve been working.”

    Vivian was distracted by the fading sunlight, crisscrossing like lattice against the trees.  As she stared at the pattern, she thought she saw a movement amid the dark trunks.  She strained her eyes, but the light was too dim.

    “Viv, did you hear me?”

    “What?”

    He stood near a wide window.  “This is the room where I’ve been writing.” 

Vivian walked over and, cupping her hands around her eyes, pressed up against the glass.  The room was mostly dark, but a streak of garish light from the kitchen divided the floor in half.  She could make out the corner of a table or desk, the flowered pattern on the rug, and the keys of Nowell’s computer keyboard. 

“You left a light on,” she told him.  “How’s the book going?”

    “What?”  Now he was distracted.  She caught him gazing over her shoulder toward the line of trees.

    “Your writing,” she said.  “How’s it going?”

    “Fine.” 

    “Is that your desk, here by the window?”

    He nodded, bringing his attention back to her.  “An antique secretary.  You know, one of those old desks with drawers and secret compartments.”

    “You found secret compartments?”

    “Not yet, but there has to be some.”  He paused.  “I had to run a twelve-foot extension cord from the kitchen for my computer.  No outlets.  My grandfather added this back room much later.  I guess he didn’t want electricity in there.  Or it was an oversight.”

    Vivian looked again towards the trees.  “You have a good view of the forest from here.”

    Nowell laughed and reached for her.

    “What’s funny?”

    “I never thought of it as a forest.”

    “What is it, then?” 

    Small wrinkles radiated from the corners of his eyes.  He kissed her forehead, ran his fingers through her long brown hair.  “I guess you’re right.  I just think of forests as being vast, you know, near mountain ranges.  Not a small parcel beside some meager hill in the flatlands.”

    “I still don’t see why it’s so funny.”

    “It sounded wild and dangerous the way you said it:  the forest.”

    Two quick whistles sounded behind the trees, startling them apart.

    “What was that?” Vivian asked.

    “Probably a bird.”  He coaxed her toward him and held her back against his chest, his chin resting on top of her head as he leaned against the house.  “How was the office party?” he asked.

    “The usual, only me this time.  They had a cake and bought me a pair of overalls.”

    “Overalls?”

    “For living out here,” she said.  “A joke.”  She relaxed a little more into Nowell.  “I worked there seven years.  I can’t believe it.”

Nowell squeezed her waist.  “But you didn’t care much for that job, did you?  I mean, you weren’t solving the world’s problems or anything.”

“I won’t miss it,” Vivian agreed.  “But who says water management isn’t important?”

“You weren’t managing the water, just the paperwork.”

“Right,” Vivian said.

Nowell shifted his weight but she stayed against him.  “I think I’ll get the book done out here,” he said.  “Do you think you can stand it for a year?” 

    “Of course,” she said.

    The sun was completely gone now, the sky a darkening blue above the leaves, dotted with stars just blinking to life.  In the cooling air, Vivian smelled the trees, like pine furniture polish but sweeter, and from somewhere, the faint scent of smoke.  A small white light appeared amidst the trees. 

“Someone’s back there,” she said.

    She followed Nowell’s eyes as they picked up the white dot.  It quickly turned into three more.

    “It’s probably that sheriff,” he said.

    “What sheriff?”

    “From town.  I thought they were finished when I left to pick you up.  They’re looking for something.”

    “What?”

    “He didn’t say.”

    “Isn’t that part of your grandmother’s land?”

    “Yes.  That’s why he told me, I guess.”  Nowell broke away from her.  “I’m sure it’s nothing.  Maybe someone reported an injured deer or something.  Let’s get your bag out of the truck.”

    Vivian watched the lights a moment more.  As Nowell tugged her toward the house, she glanced back over her shoulder beyond the high, swaying grass, which was quickly becoming invisible, still whispering in the wind and crackling again under her feet.

 

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HarperCollins Wrote

Nowell and Vivian move to a small town to spend a year in Nowell’s late grandmother’s house: he to write a book, she to get the place ready to sell. Soon after arriving, and just as they are starting to settle in to life away from the city, a young woman’s body is discovered behind their property. Vivian learns more about the girl and her past as she gets to know more about the people she is now living with and near. The death is ruled an accident but with cracks in her marriage starting to appear, Vivian questions more than just her relationship with her husband.
White is great with dialogue, both in terms of what is said and what remains unsaid. The undercurrents are subtle but well defined. In this respect I was reminded of Anne Tyler and Annie Proulx. Her sense of place is also strong and convincing; I feel as if I am in small-town America from the very first chapter of the book.
And, most importantly, it is a gripping yarn that is easy to read. I sailed through the manuscript and found it a pleasure to read.
Issues? There are a few but they are minor and easily fixed.
The story unfolds slowly. This is not necessarily a bad thing – I rather liked that aspect – but it has been commented on by a few reviewers at Authonomy and could put off readers who are initially attracted by the murder mystery storyline.
I was confused by the ages of Nowell and Vivian. The way they spoke and acted suggested middle-aged characters. I was initially very impressed by how the author had captured the cadence, tone and underlying tensions of a long-married couple but then other story elements – their desire for a family, their ages in relation to other characters – made me reassess and revisualise them as younger. That threw me a bit.
The book walks the line between literary fiction and a crime novel. It is far more the former than the latter but it is a story with a crime in it and us publishers being the lazy beasts that we are we will want to pigeonhole it one way or the other. This could be to the book’s detriment if it made it to publication.
But these are not major problems. I have read a great many books on Authonomy, and they can vary in quality from pretty ropey to really very good, but they nearly always need a fair bit of work to be anywhere near ready for publication. The Qualities of Wood is the nearest to a print-ready manuscript as I have read on the site. It really would not take a great deal of editorial tweaking to make this a strong, commercial proposition for a publisher. I was very impressed.

abipenfold wrote 485 days ago

The Qualities of Wood -
This is another gem on this site! Beautifully written, relatable, and you have clear talent. I'm hooked, only on chapter one, and about to read more...
backed with pleasure
abi

Bradley Haynes wrote 491 days ago

Another valuable find on this site! Great care and flawless attention to detail has been spent on this book. There are tempting offerings and a buildup of sexual tension interspersed and laying in wait for later. It is clear early on that this novel will not disappoint the reader. The glowing comments left here are well deserved.
Best Wishes.
Bradley Haynes (Tricia)

Darkwinglord wrote 493 days ago

Oh... this is a typical example of how a good book should be written, Mary. The opening paragraph is a gem! It is so relatable it draws the reader in immediately. You don't so much describe; rather you show through intelligent use of words and a simplified structure in your writing. Refreshingly wonderful!

I like Vivian. I study people in crowds ; across the aisle on airplanes, at cafes. I try to find out why they're ordinary... or special. I would have studied Vivian. That's how you've created your characters; imaginative and alive by being REAL people. Bravo!

There's also a quiet rhthym to your prose, It's natural and twinkles awake with some excellent dialogue. Well done! I feel like I know this couple already and I've only read a few chapters.

Given your position in the ranking, I think it has more to do with your talent as a writer, rather than begging for backing. This book deserves to be up there with the shining glitter and decorating the mahogany of the ED. I sincerely hope all your wishes come true with this. Best of luck!

Warm Regards
Andrew


Twist2010 wrote 518 days ago

Simple,pure and absolutely beautiful. Wonderful work and it is sitting on my bookshelf.

Samantha

Emma_198181 wrote 39 days ago

I like the way you have written this - most certainly with some promise of drama/thriller events in store! Good description, and Nowell seems to be a bit of a dark and dominating character - as if he knows more than he lets on, an air of mystery...I'm only at chapter 2 and I'm getting this impression already! I will keep reading to find out.

What I would suggest to work on, is the pace of the story, and I will give an example to show you what I mean - for example, the way it says: 'Vivian's chair cushion made a 'sshh' sound when she sat.' which could be changed to something like 'Vivian's chair cushion rustled' or say how she felt as the cushion rustled, (Eg if it made her jump). (Hope that makes sense!)
Fantastic that it has had so much attention and been reviewed by HC - well done.

I'm really looking forward to reading the rest.

Emma_198181 wrote 39 days ago

I like the way you have written this - most certainly with some promise of drama/thriller events in store! Good description, and Nowell seems to be a bit of a dark and dominating character - as if he knows more than he lets on, an air of mystery...I'm only at chapter 2 and I'm getting this impression already! I will keep reading to find out.

What I would suggest to work on, is the pace of the story, and I will give an example to show you what I mean - for example, the way it says: 'Vivian's chair cushion made a 'sshh' sound when she sat.' which could be changed to something like 'Vivian's chair cushion rustled' or say how she felt as the cushion rustled, (Eg if it made her jump). (Hope that makes sense!)
Fantastic that it has had so much attention and been reviewed by HC - well done.

I'm really looking forward to reading the rest.

Silentnovelist wrote 218 days ago

When I first read The Qualities of Wood I said the beautiful writing reminded me of Marilynne Robinson. It still does. Also Anne Tyler. My two favourite writers. So I've had to temper this comment with restraint, lest I gush foolishly and somehow miss the specific strengths that are unique to Ms Mary Vensel White. Because Mary writes so beautifully that in years to come people will say to other aspiring writers - 'read Mary Vensel White's books, that's the sort of writing to aspire to'. It's what I aspire to. So here's my new comment:

The gentle rhythm in the opening paragraphs of The Qualities of Wood is like a door thrown open to the reader. It welcomes us. The clarity of the prose draws us into Vivian and Nowell’s world as they arrive for a year in the American Midwest: ‘fields of indecisive green, hills falling short of remarkable’, a small white house elevated slightly, ‘like a judge on his bench’, peeling paint that ‘gave the impression of something bursting its seams’, ‘a bluish shadow stretched, tongue-like down the front steps and onto the lawn’; dirt roads. The house has stood abandoned for three years. They have much to do. There’s a light in the forest. We are enthralled.

Right from the start glimmers into the dynamics of Vivian and Nowell’s relationship engage us. Nowell’s proud of the house, Vivian realises. He’s a writer; she's left a job in the city after 7 years. We know this move to the country is huge, unsettling. He wants a baby, she’s not ready. Loneliness hovers.

Tension is invisibly woven between clear, bare prose. A body is found in the forest. On Mr Stokes's land.

It’s mesmerising.

Chaiscuro wrote 221 days ago

You are an amazing writer Mary......Thankyou! Thankyou! Thankyou!

KenFloyd wrote 224 days ago

Congratulations on being the first published with the new imprint! I'm two chapters into your book and I can see why you made it!

Ken Floyd
Waves of Regret

difloyd wrote 256 days ago

Thanks for supporting my sister, Ellise Weaver, and her book. You comments mean a great deal to both of us. It makes me feel so good for her that people are so positive and enjoy her hard work, but most of all that they take the time to tell her that. She's been working hard on all the sequels, so I hope you'll continue to enjoy and support her and her books!

Also, I suggested that she get a new book cover (I had some sway due to being the photographer and her favorite sister ;) ) and since you have been kind and enjoyed her book, I know she would love to hear what you think.

And to say a proper thank you, I'll be checking out your book and I'm sure the ratings will be high ;)

Thanks again and best of luck to you!

Diane

jollyoldsaint wrote 301 days ago

Beautifully written. I mostly read crime/comedy/farce, but between the quote from Willa Cather and the first line where the woman doesn't recognize her own husband, I was hooked. Mary's sense of rhythm and lyrical grace are breathtaking. I couldn't stop reading. Thanks for writing it, Mary.

Primrose Hill wrote 363 days ago

Fortress for One chs. 1-3. I read chapter one twice, for the subtext, and because there seemed to be a lot happening; and the rest i read only once.
I take it this is a first draft, and so I won't go into detailed editing.

I like it. Older single women of Gina's sort are not frequent main characters in the pages of novels, so I love the way you take up her case, warts and all, and set about making her interesting. And you do. And there's a down to earth authentic feel to the characterisation of the rest of her family too.

I love the wipe sweep of the opening paragraphs, the cinematic feel, though I wonder why you need, 'If this were a movie.... Unless you are trying to tell us something about Gina's character. I would be inclined to begin, 'Chicago in the Rain.' It's stronger. And I'd cut, 'Direction is subjective,' and go straight to, 'Another pair of eyes.' In other words, keep the cinematic stance, the ambiguity, without the stated allusion, until you get to, 'But it's not a movie' I'd keep that. 'But it's not a movie', gives a good signal to the reader that we are moving from omniscient to 3rd person close POV. It's all you need.

The segue from Gina at the office to the Gap commercial is very well done, evocative, and I love the way you give us an all-round picture of her life, office life, home life, inner and outer, as well as her relationship with the boss.

In the paragraph beginning, 'Once, Gina's parents went to the drive-in....' I found the characterisation there of both Gina and her mother beautifully evoked, but in the next para., I wasn't sure what you were hinting at. As I did not know at that point that Gina had an older sister, who, it turns out later, is called Deborah, I wondered if you meant her mother had called her after Gina Lollobrigida, perhaps! Withholding this information about the siter does n't really add anything in terms of suspense, so I would clarify that.

I would also cut Gina seeing her features in the computer screen (a mirror), as it is such a cliche, as are 'shards'.
As main POV character, we need a sense of her physical presence more than her actual features, and you'll find a more personal way to include them at some point.

Otherwise, I couldn't find any more problems with chs. 2 and 3, except for the enormous amount of backstory. But I imagine you will weed that out at a later stage, once you discover what you need to tell the reader for the sake of the story, and what you can keep to yourself. The revelation at the end of ch.3 of the existence of a
daughter was totally unexpected, and hook to read on. Do please message me if you upload any more, as I would like to read more of this. And good luck.






Cringland wrote 425 days ago

Well done Mary. This is great news from Harper Collins. Sounds like they are backing your book for publishing.

TMNAGARAJAN wrote 428 days ago

Congratulations.
I am sure, your book will soon come out the wood of editorial tweeking to reach bookshelf.
TMN
"NEVER LOSE..."

MatthewSylvester wrote 428 days ago

Excellent feedback from Harper Collins. Does this mean you have a deal?

JMCornwell wrote 429 days ago

Congratulations. I hope they pick it up.

J M Cornwell
Among Women
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/46125

Winston Chad Emerson wrote 429 days ago

Excellent news from your review, Mary. Congrats!

Closet Writer wrote 429 days ago

Wow--congratulations on a great review!

SC Dwinnell, "Never Let Him go."

Urania wrote 439 days ago

I only read the first chapter ,as is my want ,and time to spare. Loved it. Backed for magical things happening in your words. All the best, Sarah

PhilipJBradbury wrote 446 days ago

Dear Mary,
Bueutifully and economically written, I'm just drawn along, wanting to know more. A read pleaseure to read.

Kia ora
Philip Bradbury

Judge Jeffreys wrote 450 days ago

As I am new to commenting on this site, I wanted to read the books that had made it to the desk. I read to chapter 6. These are my opinions as a reader. I found the beginning a little slow and stilted, but the style flowed a little better after a few chapters. This deserves to do well. Good luck.

dscoyotes1 wrote 450 days ago

Beautiful descriptives almost poetic yet with an air of mystery. The first chapter grabbed me and will absolutely read more.

Don

IlyaKralinsky wrote 452 days ago

Natural dialogue, masterful telling, tight prose, and a wonderful story. Here's my unrelenting, unforgiving critique: wonderful, wonderful work. I envy your ability to compact details into something which feels so natural and compulsively readable. Thank you for this work.

chickadeeis wrote 454 days ago

omg, love that quote by willa cather! can't wait to read your work.

i'd love for you to review my manuscript with that quote in mind, and comment/share what you think!

pete the hammer wrote 460 days ago

Dear Mary we are enjoying your book and have decided to back it. From Pete and Sue. P.S Would you be kind enough to take a look at our first book First Impressions. We would appreciate any feedback Thank you.

pete the hammer wrote 461 days ago

Just read the first three chapters and have given you a gold star. Now I look forward to reading the rest

Kittykatmom wrote 465 days ago

Although I agree with the preponderance of opinion that she's a good writer, I found myself skipping to the end to see whether my suspicious were correct. They were, and I skipped ahead because of the repetitiousness of detail. I feel she's such a good writer that she gets stuck in wordsmithing and not moving the plot along.

Nnetheless an impressive piece of writing.

Diane60 wrote 468 days ago

Mary,
have just finished all 45 chapters... Wow a lesson in how to write for sure! Reminds me of a porch swing on a summer day. Beautifully consturcted and vivd local colour wonderful dialogue and character insights.
Sorry i couldn't get this done by the end of last month but this book must be savoured and not rushed. Glad you got to the desk and hopefully it will result in a book deal.
Thoroughly enjoyed the read and i feel a sense of sorrow about leaving these characters...
:)
Diane

Diane60 wrote 468 days ago

Mary,
have just finished all 45 chapters... Wow a lesson in how to write for sure! Reminds me of a porch swing on a summer day. Beautifully consturcted and vivd local colour wonderful dialogue and character insights.
Sorry i couldn't get this done by the end of last month but this book must be savoured and not rushed. Glad you got to the desk and hopefully it will result in a book deal.
Thoroughly enjoyed the read and i feel a sense of sorrow about leaving these characters...
:)
Diane

Diane60 wrote 468 days ago

Mary,
have just finished all 45 chapters... Wow a lesson in how to write for sure! Reminds me of a porch swing on a summer day. Beautifully consturcted and vivd local colour wonderful dialogue and character insights.
Sorry i couldn't get this done by the end of last month but this book must be savoured and not rushed. Glad you got to the desk and hopefully it will result in a book deal.
Thoroughly enjoyed the read and i feel a sense of sorrow about leaving these characters...
:)
Diane

neicyhope101 wrote 470 days ago

Hi! So i've read the first couple of chapters. It did starts off a bit slow, as the reader you kind of have to push through, but after the first chapter or so it's a really good read. You have a nice, smooth tone to your writing that I really enjoyed. The characters are well developed as well. Over all, I think this is worth reading.

*neicy*

Red2u wrote 470 days ago

thoroughly enjoyed the read.

Noizchild wrote 472 days ago

I'm sorry I couldn't read this story in time. It has a nice poetic feel to it. You did a beautiful job with this. No wonder it was picked as one of the top five. Well-done on a beautifully written piece.

Wayne T wrote 473 days ago

I could easily go on reading this one. Good descriptive narrative, natural dialogue, a lot of fresh ways of saying things, a constant sense that the story is going somwhere interesting, easy to read, captivating characters created by present happenings and little snippets of background appropriately placed. The book has a good pitch to attract readers/buyers.

Well done, Mary. Wish I had more time at the moment.

Thomas W Devine
author of "A Halo of Strawberries"
P.S. Mary, I'd appreciate your comments on my book.

Wayne T wrote 473 days ago

I could easily go on reading this one. Good descriptive narrative, natural dialogue, a lot of fresh ways of saying things, a constant sense that the story is going somwhere interesting, easy to read, captivating characters created by present happenings and little snippets of background appropriately placed. The book has a good pitch to attract readers/buyers.

Well done, Mary. Wish I had more time at the moment.

Thomas W Devine
author of "A Halo of Strawberries"
P.S. Mary, I'd appreciate your comments on my book.

Wayne T wrote 473 days ago

I could easily go on reading this one. Good descriptive narrative, natural dialogue, a lot of fresh ways of saying things, a constant sense that the story is going somwhere interesting, easy to read, captivating characters created by present happenings and little snippets of background appropriately placed. The book has a good pitch to attract readers/buyers.

Well done, Mary. Wish I had more time at the moment.

Thomas W Devine
author of "A Halo of Strawberries"
P.S. Mary, I'd appreciate your comments on my book.

najwa wrote 474 days ago

i must comment on it...i have been reading it nonstop now and am still hooked...i love it, you write this book the way a novel should be written!!! however, please do not kick me for saying i found your sentences at various places quite long and thus confusing so that one loses track of the actual sentence and has to go back to read it and get its exact tone and sense. But maybe that's just me. I love descriptions, but i must admit i agree when people say too many descriptions make you lose track...but then every writer is unique by the way they think and in turn the way they put down those thoughts into words...so this is your own style you know. Best of luck
nagwa
The Mist and
Life Makes a Novel

Eheffernan wrote 474 days ago

The attention to detail here is amazing. The characters and scene really come alive. I've only read a few chapters but wil definitely continue. Your talent is great and it's no wonder The Qualities of Wood got picked for review. Congratulations and best of luck!
Happily backed,
Elizabeth

Red2u wrote 475 days ago

thoroughly enjoyed the read

Peter P Gupta wrote 477 days ago

microscopic and vivid to every detail......it has a filmic taste...

good luck!!!!!

Peter P

Alison Blackburn wrote 478 days ago

Chapter 11: I wondered why Vivian spent time thinking and commenting about Nowell's brother Lonnie. Now I see why. Perhaps a little foreshadowing when his name is mentioned in the begining. Something like ... She and Lonnie had a confrontation years before that Vivian couldn't shake. And what did she think of what Lonnie said to her about Nowell, then and now? Also, Vivian's laughter about Mr. Stokes description of Lonnie seems a little inappropiate during such a solem matter--where the mother is seeing, for the first time, where her only daughter died. I hope this is helpful. ajb

Alison Blackburn wrote 478 days ago

Hi, I am on Chapter 7 and will continue to read the story through to the end. It is interesting concept and intriguing. A dead seventeen year old is always sad. I have a few questions. I am wondering where in the US this story is located? If you mentioned the location, the info didn't stick in my brain. I feel you need a little more conflict, the baby issue, why is Vivian put off by the thought, what are their ages, and what importance is Katherine? I'm sure the picture will play itself out, but hints, conflicts always keep me turning the pages. Overall, the dialogue is good, sounds natural, but maybe just a little too much of it going nowhere, not tightened up enough. All of us could use a line editor, myself included, so I'm not worried about that part. Am looking forward to reading more. You are backed. ajb

Amy Smith wrote 479 days ago

Although this story has a fairly slow pace, it adds to the slowly building tension in the plot, giving the reader a false sense of security.
I can't really comment on character development, having only read the first 5 chapters. However, Viviene is a very likable character and her interactions with other characters such as Katherine make the story flow more easily.
Even the title of this piece evokes a sense of mystery, and you have really achieved a plot that has multiple layers.
I will deffinately read more when i have time.
5 stars and backed with pleasure.
Best of luck, Amy

Janet Hutcheon wrote 479 days ago

Only read one chapter so far - the rest tomorrow. Why aren't you published? I can't fault this first chapter. It has just enough exposition, real people, a hint of mystery which leads one on to ch.2, some dialogue, paras not too long and well laid out. Have I neglected anything?

Shawn Hendricks wrote 479 days ago

Sorry, but I got bored. I think you need to work on setting your hook sooner and way deeper.

"Entering the terminal, Vivian walked past her waiting husband without seeing. Quick footsteps and a familiar hand on her shoulder. She spun to find Nowell peering down at her curiously. "I didn't see," She began as her husband's arms welcomed her.

Driving home, Nowell rested his hand on her thigh as if they were still dating. His prominent cheekbones and ruddy lips remained handsome as the rural countryside sped past.
~~~~

Point being, get to the point more quickly. Time is valuable.

Shawn Hendricks wrote 479 days ago

You have V passing - something. Consider 'past him.' "through the brightly-colored" implies progress against the crowd but later she is "pulled along with the crowd."

If she were 'hunting' for Nowell, why did she go from inside to outside the terminal instead of hunting inside where he was expected?

I am wondering why a terminal exists here when the surrounding community is rural and un-worldly. I live within an hour of Washington D.C. and have to drive more than an hour to find a commercial airport. Where is the story based that a commercial airline operates in this fashion? A rural airport having long-term parking seems unlikely because rural roads are prime for free on-street parking.

"On the way to the house" or home? "the house" seems less familial.

Not sure what a gash of a cheekbone is or how it can be neat.

"A white or brown house [singular]" shadowed by "barns[plural]."

Ellie S Lee wrote 480 days ago

So………enticed by your pitch, I started reading at Chapter 20 as suggested and easily picked up the threads. This is a work of many intriguing parts. The next few chapters are dialogue driven, casual almost, interspersed with neat descriptions, followed by several stealthy chapters where suspicion overrides, and then the introduction of underlying disharmony and resentment. This works on many different levels, personal relationships, the ‘thriller’ aspect, social/political conscience. Amongst the things I particularly liked; the title for one, and the way you keep repeating it (certainly in one of the chapters I read, made me ponder the exact significance), how Vivian felt upon discovering Nowell’s absence and how she relates this to the change in her relationship with her father when she disappointed him years before; I very much like some of your almost throw-away descriptions and the cleverness of your similes/metaphors. This is accomplished writing, Mary, polished and complete, I read more than I had intended so it certainly grips. I’m sure that it will prove as popular with the reading public as it has here and can readily visualise this in print and on the screen. Well done, I feel that you have a genuine chance with this.

Good luck
Ellie

happypetronella wrote 481 days ago

I very much like your style of writing and enjoyed reading this story.

Hannah N. wrote 481 days ago

Wow! Your writing style is absolutely gorgeous. The flow and pacing is pretty much perfect and it's easy to become immersed in your writing. There's beauty in every line, even when it's dialogue and reads naturally. Wonderful. :)

Backed and starred!

George Sinclair wrote 481 days ago

Hi Mary

Here are my comments.

General comments : -
1. It is not my typical genre for reading, but many people obviously enjoy it.
2. The story flows well, but there’s not a lot of action.
3. You have too many dialogue attributives – “he said” etc. Most are unnecessary as it is obvious who is talking. These are distracting.

Some detailed comments : -
Long Pitch
I would rather read just your words. Doesn’t seem to tell much about the story.
Ch 1
Suggest changing “… and Nowell was over six feet” to “…as high as Nowell’s shoulder.” Dimensions are distracting and are more difficult to imagine than a description.
Suggest changing “…the first several rows…” to “…the first rows…”
Suggest that there is too much history all at once in the first half.
Suggest changing “They couple had gotten…” to “The couple had gotten…”
There are no physical descriptions of Vivian and Nowell, except height. I am left wondering what they look like - you need to start this almost as soon as they appear on the scene.
There is a lot of passive text.
Ch 2
I cannot see any story emerging.
There is a lot of passive text.

Hope this helps.
Best regards
George

Miles A wrote 481 days ago

Very well written with great sensitivity and insight.

Miles A. Robinson
Song for My Father & Loud Lucy Ludlow

Hughie McMahon wrote 483 days ago

The sadness and awkardness between Vivian and Nowell portrays the breakdown in their relationship brilliantly. I am looking forward to delving into it some more as soon as I can.

Best of Luck,

Hughie

screenwriter wrote 483 days ago

The Qualities of Wood
A strangely enticing title, A "to the point" short-pitch and a well laid out -professional looking long pitch. I must read this entire work soon...but i have a feeling it will be in paperback sooner!
-s

vessels wrote 483 days ago

Beautifully written; refreshing.

Katherine of vessels