New Beginnings

Excellent!!!
To say, as Amy R. has, that New Beginnings is “light, real, and endearing,” only covers the first chapter, in my opinion. Tasha (the MC) may come across, on the surface, as light and endearing, but she’s portrayed so beautifully realistic, it’s evident that she is as complex, confused, selfish, and messed up as the rest of us. There is a subtle depth to her psyche which is more hinted at than stated… between the lines, as they say… that’s where you’ll experience her suffering. To fully appreciate Johanna Nield’s skills, you need to read beyond the first chapter. The second chapter knocked my socks off. I vividly felt Tasha’s shock, and Jamie’s pain. This is amazing writing! When I pick a book up to read, I hope that, at the least, I’ll be entertained… to have the story provoke a smile or, better yet, a laugh is a nice bonus, but to be genuinely moved—to experience the full gamut of emotions; the pain, suffering, jealousy, joy… etc. such as I did while reading New Beginnings… this is what keeps me going back to the book store… the hope of stumbling onto such a book. To say Johanna’s story feels real seems like an understatement, but I can’t think of another way to say it. It feels real… as real as any story I’ve ever read.

I give this my highest recommendation… listed in my profile.
And, again, don’t stop at chapter one… you’ll be rewarded.
Rodney

NEW BEGINNINGS: I cannot resist a story that has such a believable MC. A person with strengths and faults comes across as close to real life and catches the eye and the heart of the reader. The pain she feels seems to filter in to the mind through very subtle writing.
Backed with pleasure and I look forward one day to reading it all.
Raven Scott

Light, real and endearing. Reminiscent of Bridget Jone's Diary for the multimedia world in a good way, you present her in a soft but edged manner which makes her very realistic. Well written and back.

Good job and good luck!

Amy

New Beginnings

What an absolutely great structure to build a book on, very good.
You have a very creditable character in Tasha, good bits/not so good bits idiosyncrasies of life that make up true characters, and you have captured her so well.
You push the readers emotions with her infatuation with her boss and then the car crash, it kind of makes you introspective in thinking what emotions would be in play. – Great story – well told.

New Beginnings:

Johanna,

Tasha, though at times impulsive, grew on me for her spontaneity and love of life. She has her foibles but is likeable in her vibrancy and her embracing life as it comes.
She seems almost a victim of her own enthusiasms and I felt drawn in to the storyline by the very natural dialogue and readable prose style which is a feature of the recognisable 'voice' in which you write.
AI felt for Tasha who, besotted with Jamie does not quite have her enthusiasm returned and then her emotional tuirmoil is compounded when Jamie's wife dies in the car accident.
There are conflicting emotions throughout and yet it is just that conflict which fires interest in the fates of your central characters and made me want to read on to see how this resolves for Tasha.

Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Great idea to put this in blog format. I saw that you were looking for feedback on the exert. You wrote ckicklit instead of Chick-lit. Maybe that is some type of acronym I'm not aware of though? It looked like a typo to me, so I wanted to point it out. This usually isn't something I would typically read, so I did find it hard to critique. I didn't see anything that stood out with the grammar, but I'm not the best at that. My general suggestion would be to cut your chapter 1 into 2 pieces. It is REALLY long and you may lose some readers who don't want to read the whole thing. I had a ton of really great feedback when I cut my Chapter 1. So just something to think about. Good luck with it!

Ashley

Hi Johanna
I whizzed through this on my hols after buying it on Amazon. It is very easy to read. I loved the gay friends; in fact all the characters are strong and believable. Beth is particularly good and an original character, nice to read about a lovely child with diabilities(won't spoil what happens there though, sob). I only noticed one typo 'nosy' sorry can't remember where it came. The only thing is...I really wanted Tasha to be dumped!! I think her inappropriate thoughts at the beginning when J was grieving put me off her...perhaps you can save that for the sequel!!


A great read!
Jo

I love this. Light and easy to read. Your style flows so well it’s a breeze to read. I love the blog aspect. Great idea and very current. Great characters. Tasha is brilliant. I really like that she’s not your typically perfect MC, she has her flaws but she’s still so likeable and believable. Honestly can’t find any fault with this. Just love it.
Janny

Johanna,

I LOVED this. I loved the blogging aspect to it and found it thoroughly entertaining. I found myself identifying and sympathising with Tasha, even though I can't say I've been in the same position myself! J sounds like a total sweetheart, and I really felt for him after his wife died. It had me totally hooked. Love your writing style.

Highly starred and will back, although it might take me a while...

Silva
x

NEW BEGINNINGS - Loving the voice of your MC, Tasha – this is what kept me reading. You’ve chosen a difficult structure to pull off because blog/ diary lends itself to ‘tell’ and therefore the characters voice must be compelling because everything is filtered through this. The main story line is unfolding well, but I did find myself bogged down with some of the incidental stuff and it all feels a bit linear. I think you need to build some of the sub-plots further, so Tasha’s blog entries are interesting for more than just what will happen next with her and Jamie. I also felt you dealt with her mother’s death too lightly – I would imagine the blog would also follow Tasha’s grief and the process of reaching acceptance. I also think you need to make it funnier in places, lift the atmosphere, relate some daft incidents that Tasha gets involved (more of the kids she works with and maybe a subplot around a child in care could be developed). And finally, I would cut some entries that add little to plot and slow down some of the more important moments, like the kiss. In terms of using a blog as a device, I don’t think you need to introduce it up front necessarily, but rather the reader lands in the middle of an ongoing on (the opening feels a bit contrived). In summary, great idea, great voice, needs development. Juliet

Written as a blog is a great idea, in my opinion! I like the diary feel to it and it flows very nicely. Although, having said that, I wasn't overly interested in her life. I felt kind of how I would feel if I stumbled upon someone's private diary online- intrigued but then skipping through when I realised nobody in it meant anything to me.
I skipped on and found myself enjoying it a bit more. So I wonder whether it is just my own inability to focus at the start or whether something can be done to make the first few entries more appealing? If nobody else has said anything of the sort then assume it is just me!
Best wishes with it
Karen

Luv it. Has a bit of a voyeuristic element ... like you're doing something a little naughtly like reading someone's diary - but you can't stop! Part of me thinks ... what a great idea ... if you write it like a blog - or the way we write for ourselves - then you can really do what you want. How brilliant! However, there are those nagging little things like plot and style that make any book readable ... and this has both.

Johanna, I expected reading New Beginnings to be a chore since I'm more into mysteries and thrillers than chick lit, but I was very pleasantly surprised. Your voice is so authentic and your characters so real that I found myself reading longer than I intended to. My bookshelf is full right now, but I'll put you on my watchlist and make room for you ASAP.
Blessings,
Linda Brendle
A Long and Winding Road, RVing with Mom and Dad

I've had this WL a few days, since nowadays we can't back more than 10 a month at most. What you write is an interesting narrative and you do grab and keep the reader's attention. However, the length of the entries and the activity your character's involved it suggest that she either couldn't or wouldn't feel like writing more than a line. Would yu consider her telling a close one on the phone, or subsequently telling the whole tale using the reader as listener> ? as in Jane Eyre

Lara
Good for Him

This is such an easy story to read and Tasha is such a likeable character. This is a book you could curl up with and not want to put down. From tears to laughter is a great recipe for success. Already backed with pleasure. Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

I like this structure - set around a diary, it allows you to get inside the character's head, and get involved.
Backed.

This is oddly compelling. I say oddly because I didn't dig the narrators voice to begin with - I do think the opening entry is a bit for the readers benefit - but I kept reading and found I didn't want to stop. My advice would be, make every entry real and don't worry about what the reader does and doesn't know. Jake

This is a great format for a book, showing the reader Tasha's innermost thoughts and foibles. It should appeal to so many of the facebook readers.

Beautifully written and a smooth read.

This is such a riveting read. I like the epistolary form. The first novel ever written as you know is Samuel Richardson's 'Pamela'. This is a great contemporary take on the ancient form. Loved it. You bring it right up to the minute with the Blog and Facebook. Love the way the diary entries drive the plot forward bringing in the characters of Gavin, Darren, Lucy.

Wish you every success with this.

Katy.
Phobic Dawn.

(The next couple of paragraphs sound quite negative because I had to get them out before getting to the positive points later on. Sorry!)

Diaries are fine. Diaries are great. Blogs on the other hand, especially ones that go as personal as in your first chapter, make me really uncomfortable. I can't help feeling that the person is either emotionally disturbed enough to share his feelings with all and sundry without reservation or she is a completely made-up individual like that Belle Du Jour some years back.
So, when I read your first chapter, I wondered in which category Tasha fell - especially when she started going on about how she fancied some married man. Hmmm... Prep work for a disaster about to befell? That is, the blog becomes a vehicle for disaster? Having read further on, it seems not. The blog appears to be a passive vehicle rather than an active part of the story.

So, what to make of it all? I mentioned before that the blog format introduces a completely different dimension to the whole diary genre, and not all of it is necessarily positive. That problem with baring the heart open to strangers is the first one that comes to my mind. The problem is that, while a diary makes everything appear more sincere (because it is that device into which we can pour all our private thoughts without reservation), knowing that the diary is in fact a blog makes me sense the opposite: insincere. After all, how could anyone in her right mind document all these things in a very, very public space?
The result is that the whole thing has the feel of a first-person narrated, serialised novel where the blog was merely the mode of delivery whereas, I suspect, your intention was to use the blog to add a touch of authenticity.
At least, that was the feeling I got in this instance. I can see a blog format working much better with a story that the narrator just has to shout from the nearest mountain top or where the blog becomes part of the action.

Having got rid of the blog element, which is no more than a distraction from the real story, what about the writing?
I thought it was really good!
Tasha's voice has got both immediacy and sincerity, which should warm most readers to her -- initially, anyway. Her obsession with J does get irritating (and eventually disturbing) after a while, and that is of course the point of the story anyway, so the whole thing works well.

This is actually not my genre, and Tasha initially exhibited the qualities of the gaggles of airheads (male and female) who seem to gravitate towards my seat in long train journeys and chat to each other loudly about the relative merits of their diets, hairdressers, gym trainers and brands of various consumer paraphernelia. So, I'm afraid you lost me in the first chapter despite the very good and polished prose. What's worse, I was hoping that something really bad was going to come her way very soon in proxy revenge for all those train journeys. Then, I got to chapter 2. Talk about wish fulfilment! That you, thank you, thank you.

What a vindictive creature I have become. Blame it on those airheads.

So, you get my backing for excellent writing and for putting that girl through hell.

And I'm sorry about going at great length about the blog format, but it really did nothing for me.

Best of luck.
Huseyin
All Things Noble

An intriguing journey filled with surprises. Charming, colorful characters with real emotions. Lively narrative. Spot on storytelling. An infectous read. Backed.

Gail, this isn't what I'd usually read (my own book is an SAS-based thriller with a strong element of romance)but, having read the first two chapters I can only say that if it was an actual book in my hands I would consume the entire thing in a couple of nights - like I did with The Devil Wears Prada. I never read BJ'sD, but this is cheerfully realistic stuff, fluently written.
Addictive and backed.
Peter Wild
Double Action

Dear Gail,
Thanks so much for your great comment and for backing Sea Level. I just looked at New Beginnings, and was drawn in immediately to the character of Tasha. You catch the language so well, and add something else to it, as Rodney says, depth and emotion that you don't usually see in chick lit. I'll be looking for it when it's published!
Nancy

I'm not a blogger (been called a blaggard once or twice) so I can't comment on the authenticity of the format of the blogs. I'm not so ignorant, however, on the quality of the work contained in New Beginnings. The style of the prose is chatty without being bitty, smoothly organised to gradually reveal little facets of traits and inclinations of the players, thereby developing the characters without seeming contrived. The diary, or blog, format may not be original but it is adeptly handled. BACKED. Robert Davidson The Tuzla Run

Johanna:
I'm no expert in your genre by any means, but it seems you have plenty of drama and intrigue; both key ingredients for a good romance. Your characters and dialogue come off as very realistic and the story moves along well. my only concern, though more of a personal matter of taste, I guess, is all of the family dysfunction hinted at in the pitch. For those who can't relate, it may be a bit of a turn-off. Then again, it may help to further define your audience.
Best of luck with your book. Backed.
Peace,
Christian Piatt
PULLING THE GOALIE

Thank you for your honesty, eurodan49. I know how difficult it is to be objective when commenting on a genre with which you're unfamiliar, so I especially admire you for that!

The idea behind "New Beginnings" is that you're reading Tasha's blog (her online diary) which is, by default, nothing but her inner dialogue. She's writing about what she sees, hears, feels, and thinks, and that POV is maintained throughout the book. There's tension, and action (although not in the same way as in a thriller!) and even a plot, but I understand that this format is not everyone's cup of tea.

A few weeks ago, I started rewriting the book in a different way - third person POV - to provide dialogue and the ever popular "show not tell" narrative. It worked quite well, but it had a completely different tone and voice, and therefore changed the story. I'm not sure that that's the way I want to present it, but it was an interesting exercise.

I feel that your suggestions are based on a conventional novel format, which this isn't, but I do appreciate them, and I appreciate the time you've taken in offering your advice.

Don’t know how good I’ll be at doing a critique in this genre, not what I’m used to read. I only went through a few chapters. I think that you’ve got a good voice. It comes through.
I would suggest a few things. You start is all a big chunk of narration and even in first person is a slow start. Some internal dialogue might quicken the pace and give the reader a better understanding of your MC. Do more “showing” (how your characters move, act) instead of you “telling” the reader what they’re doing. Hold steady the POV from the point of your MC and keep narration to a minimum. Trim away every adjective and adverb which is not absolutely necessary (you’ve got a few too many).
Your Saturday 2 Feb entry reads like bullets…very impersonal, in fact a chunk of info dump.
Ch 2 is much the same. Why should reader care? Is this gonna be all the same: nothing happens, nothing gets shown, nobody talks? If the answer’s yes, reader might browse a few more pages, then put the book down. If something happens later on you better start with that.
At the end of Ch 4 I stopped. Sorry but nothing to hold my attention, to make me want more. All narration stories don’t sell any more (did they ever?)…especially in today’s crowded literary market. Readers expect tension, action, plots, even in a YA or romance.
Don’t know what to say…

Don’t know how good I’ll be at doing a critique in this genre, not what I’m used to read. I only went through a few chapters. I think that you’ve got a good voice. It comes through.
I would suggest a few things. You start is all a big chunk of narration and even in first person is a slow start. Some internal dialogue might quicken the pace and give the reader a better understanding of your MC. Do more “showing” (how your characters move, act) instead of you “telling” the reader what they’re doing. Hold steady the POV from the point of your MC and keep narration to a minimum. Trim away every adjective and adverb which is not absolutely necessary (you’ve got a few too many).
Your Saturday 2 Feb entry reads like bullets…very impersonal, in fact a chunk of info dump.
Ch 2 is much the same. Why should reader care? Is this gonna be all the same: nothing happens, nothing gets shown, nobody talks? If the answer’s yes, reader might browse a few more pages, then put the book down. If something happens later on you better start with that.
At the end of Ch 4 I stopped. Sorry but nothing to hold my attention, to make me want more. All narration stories don’t sell any more (did they ever?)…especially in today’s crowded literary market. Readers expect tension, action, plots, even in a YA or romance.
Don’t know what to say…

Hi Johanna,

Wow, besides the great storytelling (which you have), you do a great job with blog-speak, which doesn't come as naturally to most writers as they believe it does. This really feels like something I'd find on a friend's blogspot page. That said, you give a very honest portrayal of your character, both the light and dark, and aren't afraid to explore both.

Nice work! Backed! Looking forward to your thoughts on Head Games!

Kevin Alex Baker
Head Games

I can't add anything to the comments that have already been posted, but I'm happy to back you.

Rodney

Johanna,

I really like the way you've structured and put your story together here. Increasingly, I feel the modern reader needs a format of reading that's more attuned to their everyday lives, and by using a blog format you reflect this in an innovative and enjoyable way, which moves your story along at a nice pace. Backed.

NA 'A Red Sky in Morning' & 'Tales of Ordinary Sadness'

Still lovin it at the end of chapter three..just so light and easy to read, purely entertaining, which is what sells i think right? And keeps me thinking what~s going to happen..it~s got the right formula!

I am backing this book on the strength of the read which I found impressive enough to back. The problem is that while my Talent spotter ranking sank below one hundred I have been inundated with requests to read. If you require detailed comments please message me otherwise I was proud to back you and will watch with interest. Cheers for now. BACKED.

just read the first chapter..likin it so far..can~t wait to read more!

Hi. After six days on this site I am (unbelievably) still running to catch up with the people who have been kind enough to back me. Every time I log on I have thirty people to thank and review in return before I even get a chance to read some that I have picked myself from the book list. So, and I do not mean to be unhelpful, I am BACKING this on the read because I think it is every bit good enough to be in print (I think that is the criteria I should be using) but, although I have made written comments, I have no time to type up my thoughts. If you want them just message me and I promise to get to them ASAP. Otherwise, BACKED.

Hi. After six days on this site I am (unbelievably) still running to catch up with the people who have been kind enough to back me. Every time I log on I have thirty people to thank and review in return before I even get a chance to read some that I have picked myself from the book list. So, and I do not mean to be unhelpful, I am BACKING this on the read because I think it is every bit good enough to be in print (I think that is the criteria I should be using) but, although I have made written comments, I have no time to type up my thoughts. If you want them just message me and I promise to get to them ASAP. Otherwise, BACKED.

Aargh - where's the rest? I'm almost tempted to withhold backing until you post some more! Loved this to bits; fresh, funny, sad and beautifully written.
Joanna Carter
Fossil Farm

New Beginnings is a piece that deserves a backing and so much more. Johanna I found your writing extremely cool, easy dialogue and a story line filled with many twists and turns.
Having read your first chapter I can honestly say this story has great potential, I would go as far as saying it has best seller potential.
Congrats. I commend you on your work, and wish you the very best of luck
Much success your way
Sincerely
Helen
The Last Dream

You've started with an infatuation that does not bode well, but draws the reader in. The journaling is a great tool to flesh out your MC. It's funny in places, disturbing in others, like most of us I'm guessing. Your book has a smooth flow that makes it very easy to read. Backed with pleasure!

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

Johanna,

I like the unusual way you have formatted the story, it is always difficult to know how to handle cyber issues in a book. You have done an excellent job. The premise is easy to follow and characters are well laid out.
Good Luck!
Backed!
Sammy Sutton
King Solmon's 13

New beginnings
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Backed! Will you please take a quick peek at my "Spartan Heart," and if you deem it worthy, return the favor?

Thank you so much! Best wishes for all of your writing endeavors.

Kristine Cheney
Spartan Heart

This is perfect chick-lit for the young, female market and you have a great idea with the blog. Likeable Tasha is a girl most will relate to and root for, and her problems are oh so true to real life. Well written too. I've only read the first chapter due to time constraints but will come back to it later. Backed with lots of good luck and good wishes. Myffy

This is perfect quick read chick lit - ideal for the young female market, especially done in the blog form, which will have wide appeal. You have something! And you write well. You've grapsed the main point and that is to have a likeable mc with problems most young women can relate to and want to root for. Backed with all good wishes and good luck. Myffy

This is very topical, the idea of a blog. As others have said, possibly a little Bridget at the start, (I found myself reading it in her voice) but it is very up to the minute and I think it would appeal to a great number of people. It's not necessarily what I would buy, but I found myself reading on, which is a good sign that you kept me reading. I think you have a heroine here that is endearing and has more depth to her than may first appear.

No comment

I can't help but draw comparisons with Bridget Jones. The blog idea is great, but the New Year's Resolutions are little bit too similar, with the weight etc.

Also, the first blog post has a few too many characters introduced in a short space of time. Maybe stick with one or two so that the reader has a chance to get to know them.

Great idea for a book though and I like the intimate, chatty style.

Backed x

You have created a very modern and unique book by writing a story based on a personal blog. This should appeal to all readers under the age of 40. Using this format you have allowed yourself to explore the feelings, wishes, emmotions and hopes and fears of your MC. This is well done. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Bridget Jones for the blogging generation.

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

Your Pitch gripped me, so I had to read on...

This title has been beautifully crafted, and your pen is a gifted one.

The pace and the flow feels natural - The pages turn automatically.

A genre that has a massive following; as will this title.

Wishing you every success - BACKED!

stevew
The Ultimate/The Authors Cut

A lively and quite realistic MC makes this a good read. The story is a bit bridget-jonesque at the beginning but it soon makes it's own way. Very well done and entirely worth backing.

Iva P.
Fame and Infamy

I have a fondness for blogs as novels or vice versa. This starts off channeling Bridget Jones' diary (so much so with that first entry, that I worry editors might just fling it straight onto the 'cliche' pile). After that, you do make the material your own and the MC is very different. Maybe just have a ponder about those first entries - I'm no expert but I feel you're maybe selling yourself just a tiny bit short.
Happy to back this.

What a lovely compliment - thank you! I'm working on different parts of the opening passages, and will certainly take that into account. Your advice is very much appreciated - thank you again

Likeable, bubbly and lively. Just as chick lit should be.

Jo G

I'm glad that the darker, more emotional passages didn't detract from that. Thank you :)

Likeable, bubbly and lively. Just as chick lit should be.

Jo G

Johanna, I like this, the well-written, straight diary, but everything bubbling like crazy to make for a lively read. It's believable as well as very entertaining.
Backed, Ann Mynard (Windshadow)

What fun! This reads so easily - very personal and cathartic; in short this reads like a real blog. I hope you won't be upset if I say this puts me in mind of Bridget Jones for the digital age - and for women with real problems. Must admit, would like to see some humour in there about failure to keep up the other NY resolutions. Otherwise - couldn't stop reading! Well done!
--R.N.