Destiny...Girl of Wonder

Great voice here, Sharon. You can really write and the premise looks promising. I think you'll go far. Good luck!

Good quirky character here who I can relate to. Very good.

Destiny…Girl of Wonder

Any character that doesn’t conform to norm will get my vote, and you have a fantastic character here. The only thing I could advise is the over use of I occasionally, so easy to slip into with first person, however shouldn’t be any problem’s with your writing ability. This really is a great read enhanced greatly by a brilliant writing style. – Good luck

Wow, I love a feisty protagonist, you certainly deliver there. This is a really good novel for your intended market I'm sure the depth of charaterisation will have them wanting to read more of your great tale.

Refreshing and good narrative voice too.

Very happily shelved
Melxx
Impeding Justice

Dear Sharon, I love science fiction/fantasy - anything can happen - & does. :) Your blurb is good because it prepared me to read your book. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)

Good start! Your book has officially made me late for work now because I started reading over breakfast and read a little too much Now I'm late! So I'll have to read more when I get back, but I enjoyed it! Backed!

Hi Sharon, The immediacy and narrator familiar voice brought me right in. The robbing of a comic store is a fantastic start and the protagonist’s response and get-up fuels the plot. Along with HD, well-depicted before he sees her. The pace and sense of place is excellent here. Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Sharon, your first chapter was powerful enough to sweep me into the second. Good mix of narrative and true-to-life dialogue.

Here's the minor thing I'd change: I mean, it's not like people robbed (Kevin's) store everyday. Replace (Kevin's) with (his).

Good job overall. Sincerely backed.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

This is one feisty protagonist. Attitude drips from every sentence as she darts from one emotion to another. And the description of Kevin is priceless.

Ch. 5 sets the tone for this tale. The action and dialogue places the reader into the scene. It’s immediate and Homer evokes empathy. Although the abrupt change in writing style & MC is offsetting, the story itself compensates and compelled me onward. It was tough waiting to find out the young woman in ch. 4 is named Mandi.

A few minor glitches. Ch. 4, first para - I’m usually the only one who spends money ‘here’ - the here should be ‘there.’ The first dialogue - consider cutting ‘to myself,’ as muttering implies under the breath. Check verb tenses. Is ‘worriedly’ the best word?

A professor made us act out scenes to make certain our ‘actions’ were correct. If Mandi’s suspended, with a knife at her throat, how can she put her right hand on the man’s chest?

Consider smoothing out the narrator’s voice. I’m not an expert, but it seems to switch from 1st to 3rd, from character to character. It slows reading of a very fast paced story.

I don’t know what your goal for Authonomy are, but there are a few things to consider. First, the initial chapters don’t work in a format like this. When I finally got to the story, ch. 4, I thought it was a children’s picture book gone astray. If this were my creative work, I’d leave ch. 1 & 2 off for now and put ch. 3 at the top of ch. 4. The Authonomy crowd is fickle in many respects. Capture them early on and keep them riveted with Mandi’s super powers. Well, that’s what I’d do, anyway.

This book is exciting and fun. Once it’s edited a tad, it’s going to capture someone’s interest. I taught at-risk youth for 20 years. This book would have been a favorite of most students. Keep writing ~ Toby

You have a good pitch Sharon. The characters are really colourful and your writing flows well. Good luck! mariecapri

I completely enjoyed this. I like the beginning where you set the scene up not only for the wonderful story but also your style promises the reader of the quirly, funny read that is to follow. Your MC is very likable and one that many would relate to. Great job and I'm happy to back it.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

I love your heroine/narrator's voice. She engages me easily and I can't help but to keep reading. What is this miracle? A perfect tone for your target audience!
Backed,
Ellen (Thoughts of a Teenage Girl)

Congrats - you have mastered the pitch! Being Authonomy's #1 commentator, trust me, those pitches are how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

What an imaginative story. Destiny is a good character. Your writing style makes her come alive and makes a reader want to follow her. You should find a large young adult audience for this. I'm adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Fun, humorous, and exciting! Destiny is also written really well, and has an engaging plotline :) One thing--you have this categorized as children's fiction/middle grade. The chapter lengths do fit in children's fiction, but the narration...of course, the voice is great, but some of the language/syntax/etc. seem more mature...I couldn't find any reference to how old she is, but I picture her as a junior or senior in high school, not really a 'tween.' So I think this would be more YA than children's...
Anyway, it's awesome! 8D Backed, of course.

Cheesecake

I'm pretty impressed by the narration and just the tone of the narrator that you've put into you book. Great work and funny!

I LOVE THIS BOOK - HANDS DOWN ONE OF THE BEST ON THIS SITE! BACKED without question.

Liz
The Cheech Room

Fun stuff, the read was pretty much flawless. Read chapter 4, 5 and 6, was planning on reading only the first two but I wanted to know what will happen when the girl entered the comic shop ;) Sorry but I skipped through everything before that.... Will probably read more when I can.

oh and theres a "to" missing in "Was I going be a hero?"

Sharon,

You have crafted the PERFECT voice for this genre'. From the opening line of your pitch and beyond it remains consistent. This is an engaging and feisy read that deserves attention. I'm happy to support your talent. Congratulations. Backed.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH

Sharon,

Destiny ... Girl of Wonder - unique heroine, funny and engaging tale.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

'It was now or never. Hero or chicken.' What fun! Delightful premise, I don't think I have a single reservation. Backed with pleasure.