Step Back, Sky Bigger

Excellent stuff - very different from other material I read here, there are so few plays or screenplays. This had a good flow to it. Although the haikus at the start might put some people off, they were meticulously crafted (and syllabled!) and there was a good flow to it. There are a load of theatre groups who would enjoy putting this on as a production; you're a skilled wordsmith. The best of luck

Pat Black
Snarl

For obvious reasons this will have a tougher time here...THAT SAID, it pretty good stuff. Even in this format (not a novel, not a play per se, not a screenplay) this is very engaging. I found myself getting sucked into this, even without the narrative to fill in the blanks.

I wish you well with this.

Lockjaw

For obvious reasons this will have a tougher time here...THAT SAID, it pretty good stuff. Even in this format (not a novel, not a play per se, not a screenplay) this is very engaging. I found myself getting sucked into this, even without the narrative to fill in the blanks.

I wish you well with this.

Lockjaw

Step Back, Sky Bigger.

This is so refreshing. I enjoyed every syllable of this a time very humorous dialogue.
I am so impressed with this!!! I’m going to put in another exclamation mark!
It takes real skill to create something like this, a skill I suspect you have an abundance of. Very much enjoyed. – Good luck

great banter back and forth...real energized. liking boys or girls...hah...whatr a twist!
michelle
dummies for dating

Jessica -

Sadly, plays have gone the way of... well, they've kinda gone the way of cassette players. But you write very, very funny dialogue. I burst out laughing at the line - 'I've developed several non-speaking friendships...' - I have the same 'friendships' with my neighbors.

I would not be discouraged if I were you, and would certainly not look to burn my work. You have a talent - cultivate it; harvest it. You write circles around most everyone. Backed.

Jessica, I've looked at Act 1. Though I'm not a playwright, I know good dialogue when I see it.

Happy to back your work. Looking forward to reading your novel when it comes out.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

STEP BACK, SKY BIGGER:

Jessica,

I think this would work wonderfully well as a radio play, especially as there is not much action, although I found the dialogue absolutely scintillating. This will stand you well as an aspiring novelist, since you have excelled in the art of succinct dialogue, which clearly comes quite naturally to you.

Backed, with pleasure, and wishing you good luck with the novel as well.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

This is certainly a different read for me. I find it interesting. I haven't convinced myself that it knocks my socks off, but I believe you have an interesting dialogue. Best of luck with your writing. Remember December Gold in your reading. I would appreciate your comments and backing.
--author of December Gold

Dear Jessica, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me." Thanks. :) Since I have already "backed" & "commented" on your book, I came to your "comment" page to help it advance more. I will also put it on my "watchlist" to hopefully help it move up. (Every time I receive a "comment," my book moves up.) Could you take a moment to back my unedited version? "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" I'd be ever so grateful. Love, Susie :)

I really like how this comes full circle, beginning with the banter, ending with the banter. I have to say I really enjoyed the large monologues. And also that this conversation feels alien but similar to many experiences inmy own life. I think you've captured something very alive with this play. I can see it, which must mean the characterizations were on the money. Both characters were very imaginative. I can really see Michael. I had a friend with a similar talent. He was a hit--until one day when...

I get this. I get how their lives were set in motion, they headed in much different directions, and ended up years later back in the same high school, and met. It seems they met at the perfect time in their lives. If they'd done this at any other point in their lives, they would have been two very different people. I guess that means their meeting right then was serendipitous.

I found a typo in the section one. it was during the mention of the ski lift. I'm sorry but I lost my notes. It was during Melissa's explaination of the man she married who travelled the world with her matching drinks with places. Great play, Jessica.

Gerry
Dropcloth Angels

Can I audition for Melissa if you ever put this on in London? This is fab. I love how it travels – how it reaches out from interiors into the wide world and then returns time and time again. Oooh, I think I’m a bit jealous of this. Beautiful writing with lots of archaeology in it and a resonating voice which is distinctly contemporary. Brilliant!

Dear Jessica, I love fiction, travel, & comedy. :) Your story is a good read because you create interest by having short sentences in your dialogue. You may want to cut your paragraphs in 2 or 3 or 4 for a much easier faster read. You make me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)

I really enjoyed reading this. It's the first piece of drama I've seen on Authonomy and it works really well. Would like to see it performed!

Amanda

Good ideas here but to be honest I struggled a little with the format. Could be the pagination, and some of the lenghty dialogue pieces could do with being split into paragraphs for ease of reading. Otherwise backed with pleasure. Colin

Jessica, this is absolutely beautiful and very funny. Obviously it would work a dream on radio, but I'm trying to picture it in the theatre too. Perhaps the different places you describe projected onto a backdrop - though it's been done to death. Anyway, I'm not a director but as an actress I'd murder to say your lines. I wish you all the very best for this. Backed. Lynn

Your pitch does not do this great work justice. I would love to hear this on BBC
Best
Backd days ago
The Lord of the Dawn

Who wants a 1000 cans of beans? (not every question needs an answer). The M vs. M dialogue is great. The author's attitude toward presentation of a stage play is even greater. Since impressions are supposed to be stated, the insertion of some stage directions in the right margin area might attract the interest of producers. Travel binds everything in wonderful ways because some adventures are more and some less than expected; adventures usually involve people. That comment really doesn't have much to do with the plot, but the talent for screenwriting is evident from the beginning, mostly because the author presents a sense of humor and apparent enjoyment of self while crafting this work. Backed. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures)

Being Authonomy's #1 commentator, trust me, spend some time on your pitches I cannot overemphasize how you need to master this basic sales technique to grab the casual reader. That's how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. I could not get a sense of what this was about in the short pitch. But you are SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

This is excellent. The poetry at the start, as Michael and Melissa talk about their travels, is lovely, and the story of Melissa and her husband had me riveted. Michael's horrible and very funny experience with the DJ is something to remember. Your characters are well drawn, individual, and easy to relate to. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Hi Jessica, enjoyed the play... Have to say that if I was still acting this would be a pleasure to perform - either on stage or radio. I was starting to worry that it wasn't going anywhere, that there was no dramatic arc, no difficulties to overcome... whereas actually they use each other to overcome some very real grief. I like the way this is so subtle, that it could be hidden behind the humour, but actually very poignant. An experienced director will see this and be able to pull this out. Keep it up.
Backed with pleasure, AL

Hi Jessica, this was great. I really tried to imagine it was on the radio (not easy to do) but i could see (hear) how it would be ideally suited. Great dialogue. Intelligent and funny, too.
Backed with pleasure, Barry
Little krisna and the Bihar Boys

I really liked this! It's different because it's a stage play but it read very easily! The dialogue was great and I enjoyed the humor in this. Great job!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

This is an interesting read. And I don't read a lot of stage plays but don't you need a slugline in the beginning that tells us where this is taking place (set your stage?) Or does this take place on an empty stage? Also, some of the dialogue is really long if an actor has to memorize this (works okay for radio but on stage, your actors better have great memories). On a more positive note, dialogue is interesting and often amusing. I think I'd enjoy seeing this in a theater. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Wishing you all the best on here, I am no expert on stage play or radio drama, so would not know how well structured your writing is. The premise sounds serious, yet there is a big thread of humour running through and it is amusing at times.

Backed,

Lisa

Uniqiue and intelligent! Backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room