Angelwings

The first time I have read 15 chapters straight away of any book on this site. I am glad to have had the opportunity to read this excellent story. ---

First thing to say is that the author can really write. Sounds obvious but this skill is rare. Second thing is that the author is a storyteller. It was this quality that carried me away to read for such a long time. ---

Normally I am not much into 'fantasy' or 'young adult' writing though I enjoyed Harry Potter the whole way through. Also His Dark Materials. There are shades of Northern Lights (Philip Pullman's best book) in this book and Angelwings suffers not in the comparison. ---

I think that there is too much undeserved praise slooping about on Authonomy in the you-be-nice-to-me and i'll-be-nice-to-you mode so it a pleasure to back this book for no other reason than it deserves to be published.

A marvellously beautiful story beautifully told. I am reminded very much of the vastly underrated Patricia A. McKillip, and even of the great Andre Norton. This is one of the finest things I've read so far on this site. Your descriptive powers are often breathtaking, your dialogue superb, your characters very human, your pacing leisurely but in a good way, and your tale captivating. My only suggestion is this - this is too good to be packaged as a YA. Submit it to the adult fantasy market; it's that good. I am backing this with utter rapture and my very best wishes.

absolutely fabulous. I just feel happy reading it - its so perfectly fantasy, and the writing is just brilliant. Such amazing descriptions, and engaging from the very first. I love fantasy, and this is definitely something I would buy in a store. Probably, in fact, something I would spend weeks raving about to anyone who would listen. Reminiscent of Peter V. Brett's 'The Painted Man'. I see some have complained about the first paragraph. Ignore them. Its a wonderful opening, beautifully describing the time of year, and leading perfectly into the story. I love this!! If there's any sense in the world, it will be published, even before it reaches the editors desk.

Good Luck!
Selena Hallahan - 'With Teeth'

Came across this by chance; it's extraordinary. Beautifully written, excellent dialogue, natural family relationships, fun, horror, and magic. I think I"ll be reading this one right the way through. BACKED with great pleasure.
Oh by the way, unlike some readers, I liked your opening para very much. And please don't dream of dumbing the language down. It's not only the characters' age that defines a book's genre. I'm several decades older than Tom and Aibigail, and I love it.

This is sending chills down my spine and not just because it's set in the snow. It is very lovely writing indeed. Just the kind of book I adore (I guzzle YA with a fantasy bent, though won't touch the adult variations!). I worry a little about your first paragraph - honest injun, if it were my book I'd lose it. It's about the weather and is like a long 'ummmm' before we launch into the meat of your book. We get that it's snowing par two anyhow and that seems (to me) like a more natural place to start.
Love the way you draw your characters - they are so natural, I totally believe this world.
It'll've - seemed a clumsy contraction to me - I know what you're saying but it looks plain weird written down!
One other nit (and really there are very very few - and I only nit the books I love!) - the father and his books. First we get the feeling they're expensive (ie if he didn't buy them the twins could have more clothes and shoes) then you say they're scrounged from rubbish piles (which feels contradictory) and then we're back to 'six shillings that cost me'.. Just made me pause and ponder.
The landscape is magical and twins' relationship is lovely....then we get the clincher - Abby has magic now she has started menstruating - and that is forbidden. 'Kill you for a witch' - brrr, fabulous chill down the spine.
That brings me onto my final slight concern. You label this YA and it reads like YA. Yet Tom and Abby are 11/12 which would put this firmly in mid-grade territory.
Seems that publishers are being very rigid about age groupings right now so maybe give that some thought.
But, really, truly, seriously, I LOVE this to bits and back. I stopped myself reading because I loathe reading on screen and this is one I'd like on my bookshelf.
Backed, oh so backed.
Jane

Anna, I see some people have said that "Anglewings" has a slow pace that the YA and younger group would find off putting, I find it hard to see where they got that idea, (and think it a little insulting toward the YA readers). Being severally dyslexic I find reading anything difficult and have discovered that YA books are usually my salvation. Which ever class you finally aim this at remember that there are far more people like myself that find reassurance in the knowlage that YA books will have you transported into the story they tell from beginning to end as this does. Your book has only one criticism from me, that is that the book has ended well before the story, so many questions left untold.
I take great pleasure in reading your work and it has rekindled my desire to read again rather than listen to audio novels as I have found myself doing recently. This novel is one I will read and re-read time and time again.
Thank you!

Wonderful read, 6 stars

Congrats on making it to the Editor's Desk. Love your use of language, very lyrical, and the plot is more than interesting. Good luck with the editors, I hope they see it as the jewel it is!

Interesting to say the least.
It needs some editing though, but nothing serious. I've backed it given it the full rating it deserves.

This is a truly stunning piece of writing! I love everything about it.
I think your first parragraph is perfect, setting the scene adding some atmosphere without going into unnecissary detail. I'm not quite sure why, but all of the description in that first parragraph seems like it is of the upmost importance. Maybe it's because it would matter to your characters? ... I'm not sure really, but it works!


I love the way you have written Tom and Abbigail, particularly their relationship with each other and it brought a lump to my throat when Abbigail was leaving for the Convent-extremely powerful!


I also admire the way you managed to create a feeling of compassion and sympathy when Abbigail and Tom's father died especially considering his harsh punishment of Tom earlier in the book.


Although i have only read 5 chapters, I love everything about this: the characters, the descriptions, the plot and the style of your writing! I will deffinately be back to read more.

This is a book that has to be published!

Backed with pleasure with 6 stars!


Good luck, Amy

Finally got around to popping over to read, in return for your kind comment. Lovely poetic writing. Deserves to be at the top. Good luck with it.

The style of your writing is in perfect keeping with the era and setting of your story, and for me this was apparent from the very beginning. I am reminded of the classic 'The Secret Garden', which I loved when I was younger, and even still today. I'm brand new to this site, having joined about 2 hours ago, and I have so far only read 3 chapters, but felt that I just had to write something quickly before I read the rest. I would love to have the paper version of this on my bookshelf, and as a fellow (potential) writer of children's historic fiction, you have no idea how much you have inspired me. The description is impressive, however, overbearing in places. Well done and thank you for sharing your work with us.

What I have read so far is wonderful. It is beautifully written and the incorporation of your descriptions is effortless. I'd certainly back it for publication. Fingers crossed.

I'd be extremely grateful for your critique of what I have uploaded of my novel so far. The rest will follow shortly.

This is a great piece of work.

Laura
Beneath the Blossom Tree

How do you want me to call you? :)
I started reading this book because I saw it on the desk thing (however its called) and said, okay let's see... I love reading YA, probably because I'm only 18, so I like to help out authors that are writing for my age group. I started with this and liked it. It's easy to get involved in the story. I try to remind people that write for YA that a lot of narration can sometimes go against them, youngters like dialogue, and dislike a lot of description and long paragraphs. The beginning of your story describes everything incredibly well, but try also to make the beginning more dramatic, a way to captivate a 17 year old perhaps. A grown up will love it, a teenager could get annoyed by the pace perhaps, it does depend on the teenager of course (remember kids nowadays love Twilight and all of that ******) This book is aimed at a young public right? I'm not making a fool out of myself, no? xD
Well, this book is beautifully writen, the idea of the book sounds extremely intriguing and I will hopefully try to keep reading. I love your character Tom (can't really explain why, but I just do)
I'll back this back because it's been a while since I've read good YA, lately they only publish rubbish :)
Hope to have helped a little with this comment =D

ANGELWINGS

I won't kid you about my motivation for reading this book. It's #1, I wanted to see why. I found out!

It is always interesting to read out of genre for me. I find I seem to learn more when I do than reading the types of stories I write. Ironic? Perhaps. I just find it interesting to see how people write for different audiences.

One of the first things that jumps out at me is the intelligence of the author. She understands exactly who her audience is. The writing is easy-flowing, clean and thrifty. She begins right away to give life to her characters. Her MC's special gift is revealed right away in the first chapter and soon after part of the conflict (Dad not finding out about the magic)

The dialogue of the children appears real, like they would talk. Careful usages of words in her narrative suggest she is helping her younger audience expand their vocabulary. Interesting and creative. It also denotes a level of responsibility incumbent on an author of YA / Fantasy I believe.

The author has a wonderful imagination that she articulates onto paper very well. The narrative enhances the story. What I mean is that so often times I see in stories that writers seem to (write-in) the dialogue to be just enough to off-set their own desciptions in the narrative, like they are trying to keep up or something. The characters tell this story smoothly in the dialogue and the author weaves in the narrative most appropriately I think.

I can't say this is something I would buy at the store. It isn't my genre. I will say I bet it is surely going to be published and there will be plenty who will buy it. This manuscript is clean, polished and ready for it's review. I'm curious to see what HC says about it. I'll be watching. Good luck with this and in the future.

6 stars for Angelwings.

Anna,

I've read the first chapter and really enjoyed it. I like your descriptive style and the interaction of your characters. It makes me want to read the rest of the book and find out if Tom will develop the same gifts (if that is what they are given the threat to Abigail's use of them from her father).

Good luck with it and I hope you get published.

Phil

Hi Anna,
This book ceratinly deserves to have done well, I have watched it on the ratings lists and I'm happy to see it at the top of the list. A great read that opens ones eyes and flows really well.

Well done so far and I hope you get a publishing contract out of it, it should do well.

I now have several books on my list, please feel free to have a look and have a read etc.
All the best,
Keith.

This tale is exceptionally well written, very imaginative, powerful and moving. I've only read four chapters so far, but will be back to read more. I can certainly see why it is number on on the ED at this time, having earned it's way to the top on merit of its creativity.

Best regards,
LJ Rutledge, Shadow Puppet

I do not spend much time on Authonomy these days as I feel I have outgrown it to a certain degree. But this evening I decided to pop over here and see what's been happening with my fellow authonomites. I am glad I did since in doing so I have found your book. The story pulled me in right away and kept me there. Well done! If this does not get a publisher soon I will be surprised. Please keep me in mind if it does get published as this is one book I would happily place on my real bookshelf.

i am a tutor and i just love extending a childs vocabulary -this is a book i would use to do just that -words so infrequently used in every day speech are here to remind us of exactly why the English language is so fascinating and how every young person should know about old english things -wonderful -i also love the way the author has got the differences between man and woman ,girl and boy so wonderfully sewn up -if i was a child i would just want to keep on reading and reading it -this would def be a book to risk taking a torch to bed for -and unfortunately now so few books excite children/ teenagers enough for them to want to do that when so much else is available - as an adult i also just wanted to keep on reading it -well done -excellent -elisa gianoncelli

Anna,

My hat is off.

Angelwings gets my backing and all possible stars. I've read three chapters so far, and hope I will have time to read more. Your writing is graceful and fluent, with carefully observed setting details, including light and smells. The characters and their relationships are well drawn and believable. Again, the details of how they live, what they look like, and their interests, are full without being too much. This world is completely real, which makes the magic a surprise when it comes, but easy to take as another natural (if feared) aspect of the world. (I've attempted something similar in my book Crane's Way; I hope I pull it off half as successfully as you do!) I loved the line about "how hot and heavy magic is." That mysterious spy figure adds an element of intrigue, danger, and mistaken identity.

I'm happy to see you're at the top of the top 5, just above another favorite, Isabel. I wish you all the best and hope some publisher is smart enough to pick this up.

Karen Eisenbrey
CRANE'S WAY
TIME SQUARED

"Everytime he snatched a glance" needs a comma after the word "glance"

uhm.

all i can say here is "wow."

I'm two chapters in (out of my usual three) and I know I would absolutely purchase this book were i to stumble on it in a shop. Taught economical prose, realistic dialogue and relationships, clean descriptions of, well, everything, effortlessly dropped in without disrupting one moment of the overall flow. You need that sort of grounding to tell fanciful tales and this author knows it well. There's absolutely no fat on this cut and I for one, am grateful.

Sorry it took me so long to get on this bandwagon but I'm on it now. Shove over. Make some room.

Backed.

Your descriptions are strongly detailed. I can see the action going on in the words. The father sounds like one of those geniuses that are in love with their work and not with their family. It is interesting that you get inside Tom's head in the first chapter. This story is beautifully written. You did a great job here.

[Angelwings]
I can only agree you write well - and you are indeed a storyteller.

But there are some mixed feelings in this first chapter I don't quite am able to place.

An eleven year old boy who learns quickly in a world where learning seems important (everyone tries to do it, but only his father really seems to be ahead) kind of looks down on his dad because he is a common farmer? I would think he was either proud of his dad because he is better, or that he hates him because otherwise they would have far better clothes.

And then there is the magic of his sister. If magic is such a bad thing that her father would kill for it (or get killed over it), she would not do it even with her brother nearby. Her brother would not tell her the dangers involved if he wants to do it himself (he is jealous).

This is confusing and maybe needs some re-thinking. That doesn't mean you cannot write - you do that well. I just think this story can be made even better.

Good luck!

Brilliant and captivating, you have created a colourful world with apparent ease. I was drawn in by the characters immediately and often in awe of just how easily the story flowed. This deserves to be published and I can't wait to read the sequel!

I would recommend this book to everyone, just for the sheer brilliance of the writing.

Great writing and a very enjoyable read

This is the best book I've looked at so far on this site and the first I've felt comfortable commenting on. I just completely the first chapter and I'm caught! You brought the reader into the scene immediately, and you brought the world to life with a few broad strokes. I'm looking forward to reading more and that doesn't often happen for me, not even with published books -- which, if you've been consistent in later chapters -- should be one.

Anna,

Angelwings is very well written. I love your descriptive style and narrative. I love to read and your book immediately pulled me in. You describe your characters very well as I can see them in my minds eye. As I read Angelwings, Tom and Abigail become very real along with their surroundings. You create not only a magical and mystical world for your characters but for the reader as well. I Backed Angelwings!

My only suggestion would be to change your short pitch. I would start it with Abigail Swanhard knows.... and somehow change your second paragraph. The first sentence is appears to be a run on. I almost did not read Angelwings because of the writing of the short pitch. (I know I should talk :/ )
Otherwise Angelwings is great! Again, very descriptive, excellent characters, believable surroundings, I could go on and on.
Keep writing I want to read more!!!!

Craig13

Love the church elements of this story and, being a steampunk fan and would-be writer, I love the Victorian setting. This is an especially rich period because of the missionaries and their evangelical zeal. To pitch the like against magic in such a way is genius.

This is truly lovely, beautiful lyrical descriptions and a fascinating plot with characters that 'breathe'. It drew me in from the first chapter and made me want to run out into the snow myself. Well done and good luck with this. Katherine Strata

Anna
A wonderful story, beautifully told. Good realistic dialogue, likeable characters and a knack for description. The revelation of the secret magic skills in ch1 draws the reader onward into the rest of the tale. Starred for now, best of luck.
Babs

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!
This is brilliant. Exceptional. I was riveted from the very beginning enchanted, addicted to the story!! I just HAD to read the whole thing and it's such a cliffhanger, why oh why would you do that to me?? :P
The characters are so good, and the world is beautifully crafted. Everything fits together seemlessly. Please tell me I can download this somewhere!!

Amy
x

have read your reader's comments and can not add to them so will simply put your book on my shelf. Regards, Anne

ANGELWINGS is a delight. You catch us up immediately with your superb storytelling. One tiny nit: in the opening paragraph you might use a more colorful, thing-that-we-can-see word in place of 'turgid.' If you have a chance, could I ask you to have a look at my TO CATCH A SPECKLED TROUT. I will appreciate any comments you might have. Thank you.

Nicely written and an interesting tale too, with good characters and description. It reads like a published book. The last chapter is definitely beckoning at a sequel, and I like books with questions at the end. It's going on my shelf. Best of luck.

Anna, sorry it's taken me so long to get to your story, but for my part it was worth the wait. This is really brilliant work. Your narrative is concise, descriptive and imaganitive and the dialogue excellent. I have read five chapters so far and will certainly get back to the rest very soon. I have read some really great stuff on this site and this is right up there with the very best. I wish you lots of luck with it, you deserve it. Well done.
Backed.

Anna - Angelwings - can I say more than those that have come before me? No I can't except the fluency and flow is so pleasing that I intend to keep reading - meanwhile backed with stars and keep writing! Very best wishes Balepy (Freckles the Fawn)

Hi Anna really enjoying your book can see the date for the editors desk is fast approaching -do hope u do well ,u deserve to -hope u will get to read my first 6 chapters and tell me what u think -best wishes elisa

I'm cursing the fact that I started to read this halfway through my lunchbreak, and have to return to mundane work after only 2 chapters. Those 2 chapters are enough, however, for me to back the book, and I will comment further when I've had a chance to read more. So far, so good!

Best wishes
Amerynthe
Riptide (YA/Fantasy)
The Living and The Dead: The Awakening (Urban Fantasy)

Hi Anna, reviewing your work again...nice and clean and well structured. Happily re backing.
jim

Your openeing paragraph is somewhat convoluted and the tenses didn't match. Otherwise an interesting read.

I saw how you presented your dialogue. Is this a matter of choice or is it not?

-Jane said, “I was walking down the road and I met Stephen, and I told him, ‘I’m not talking to you, you so-and-so,’ and he said to me, ‘I’m not talking to you either, so there.’”

Something worth checking on. 6 stars, backed.

Your openeing paragraph is somewhat convoluted and the tenses don't match. Otherwise an interesting read. I noticed the italics in your dialogue. Is this a matter of choice or is it not.

-Jane said, “I was walking down the road and I met Stephen, and I told him, ‘I’m not talking to you, you so-and-so,’ and he said to me, ‘I’m not talking to you either, so there.’”

Something worth checking on. 6 stars, backed.

Your openeing paragraph is somewhat convoluted and the tenses don't match. Otherwise an interesting read. I noticed the italics in your dialogue. Is this a matter of choice or is it not.

-Jane said, “I was walking down the road and I met Stephen, and I told him, ‘I’m not talking to you, you so-and-so,’ and he said to me, ‘I’m not talking to you either, so there.’”

Something worth checking on. 6 stars, backed.

Interesting and original Combination of genres

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze MIrror

Any story that makes you read it is a good story. Your story made me real it. Enjoyed it a lot, will recommend it to my little group of friends.

"Angelwings" - Anna Reynolds. I read the 1st and 3rd chapters and scanned several comments. 5 stars for some of the most descriptive writing I've seen on this site. Your writing flows as smoothly as a hot scoop through ice cream. Bookshelf after the 1st to help you get reviewed next month. Some thoughts: you use sensuous phrases and images when the twins are together - wonder where you are going with that - suggest not crossing the line particularly for YA; sometimes your scene descriptions are too long and involved - perhaps shorten some of the longer ones? Hope this helps.

Gideon ("Thrill Writer's Remorse")

Your writing is absolutely first class, and the story is rivetting from the first line. IMO, the best writers are the best story tellers, and you certainly qualify. In addition your descriptions and your characters are described vividly and without clutter. I will keep your book on my watchlist and will be backing it when there's room and I'll not be removing it quickly. This will be a few weeks down the road, my shelf changes slowly. I'm giving it a very high rating, and I'm looking forward to reading more.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

Hi Anna,
crisis over I have now had a chance to sit and read!
What a wonderful story, you paint extremely vivid pictures of both characters and environment. I did a little chapter hopping, not always a good thing, but I just wanted to get some idea how these people developed. It's nice to find something so charming and a book I would definitely buy.

Zil x

Wonderful work. Vivid characterizations and sense of place...I honestly could picture the darkened house with the glow of the oil lamp, the blustery white outside. I love the idea of the farmer insisting that his son learn with books...sort of a flip to what you normally see--a boy who wants to learn but scoffed by his uneducated father. I liked the insect element and wondered how and if that would come up later in the book. The relationship with Abby felt true and I liked the dialect here and thought you were great with dialogue. Really, just a fabulous start with all the elements to keep me turning pages. Two things. First, I wondered why you haven't classified this as YA. I'm no expert in genre, but YA being as hot as it is, I'd be inclined to stick anything that includes characters under 18 into it. Secondly, I had some issues with some of your punctuation. Basically, sometimes I questioned the placement of a comma or the lack of one. I'm starting to think this comma business is pretty subjective, so take that how you want. But I do think that you should dispense whenever possible with the use of -- dashes. I think that almost always, there is a better way to punctuate this, whether it's an aside or continuing action, there's a better way. It seems like a lazy construction to me but again, just my opinion.

Wonderful work, easy to see why this has risen.

---Mary

I usually don't read this catagory but you got my attention from the start and kept it, way to go! Definately a great read for fantasy enthusiasts.
Leslie Gervais
"Love Has No Borders

You have my BACKING! Really great writing. Hope you have a chance to take a look at CC Brown's DARK SIDE and find a place for it on your shelf. Thanks. Sue50

Hello Anna,
Message received. I have dutifully read a lot of your work. I enjoyed it. The descriptions are vivid and one is soon drawn into the story. If I had to nit-pick (and I don’t have any right too really as I’m unpublished) I did wonder if, on occasion, you could use fewer words to advantage. Just a thought. The bottom line though, is that I think this is good and I’m more than happy to back it. Good luck.
Perhaps you could find time to have a look at Unwelcome Consequences some time? I'm more interested in considered comments than backings. Thank you.
Rheagan Greene - Unwelcome Consequences (2/3)

I have to agree with Renaud....I was planning on just reading the first chapter, but then clicked to another...and then another.

This felt sooooo real....like a good book should. I like how magic is no big deal...you just slip it in like the falling snow...or the toes touching the water...love that by the way!

I'll back it tomorrow...but you're getting fulll stars today! Thanks Anne..Truly :)


Cheers,
Dwayne

This is a delightful read. The characters are drawn up well. I like how you portray the relationships between Tom, his father and Abby. The mysterious man shows up and sets the plot moving along. It looks great to me. You may consider whether to market this as a young adult fantasy.

I am happy to back this one.

Brian
Mute