Elephants & Enfields

Hi Stefnwolf, thank you so much for your kind words both here and on TA and inclusion on your bookshelf. You sound much like a kindred spirit and l commend your cats taste! As you rightly say, 'grumpy old git' status has arrived and l believe we all deserve credit for our commitment to intolerance! The comments are all the more valued from a 'Sudburyman' and l am already writing with renewed vigour - if you can call it that. Give my regards to Suffolk ( my spiritual second home). Fondest regards, Eve.

Hi Evelyn

Loved everything so far. You alerted me via TA, and I have to say, we have a lot in common.
Love of Goa, we stay at Monterio every year, love of Cats, Atheism and both seem to have achieved grumpy old git status at a similar age.
I think my cat likes it too, as he sat on the keyboard a lot while I was reading it :-)
Love to H and the children, please be inspired to finish it.

Hi Evelyn

Loved everything so far. You alerted me via TA, and I have to say, we have a lot in common.
Love of Goa, we stay at Monterio every year, love of Cats, Atheism and both seem to have achieved grumpy old git status at a similar age.
I think my cat likes it too, as he sat on the keyboard a lot while I was reading it :-)
Love to H and the children, please be inspired to finish it.

I read the first couple of chapters and thought this was a fun piece of travel-writing. Goa in January is an attractive prospect, and you describe this exotic location well. Laced with delightful humour, the origin of the family name Evelyn and the nightmarish Ox-heart memories particularly amusing. I thought some of the sentences too long, and a good edit would be beneficial, but we all could do with one of those. Well-starred and on my WL for further reading. Good luck with this.

What a breath of fresh air! The narrative is so strong and individual, I haven't got past the first chapter yet but I am already looking forward to revisiting this one!

I came across your book whilst browsing some others and started reading and just couldn’t stop. The professionalism of the writing impressed me—spelling, grammar and correct hyphen use as much as the prose!—and the story is so dryly comedic. I can see it as a comic serial, half Benidorm, half One Foot in the Grave. It’s far better than most of the stuff I’ve read on this site in the past three days…you know, the kind of writing that erases itself from your mind almost as quickly as you read it… Your turns of phrase have stayed with me—such as the description of the food and drink on offer on the flight…Tutankhamen’s loincloth indeed! Good luck with it; I can see this being a resounding success! I’ve backed it and given it the top rating, which it richly deserves!

I absolutely loved this. Thank you for uploading it here, and I wish you the best. Very eloquent writing. Important, of course. Great ideas. Well-done comedic lines. I liked the bit about the lady in row 31. Six stars from me. Will come back for chapters 3 and 4 as soon as I can.
Best wishes.
John B Campbell (Walk to Paradise Garden)

Hi Evelyn, Glad to star you and put you on my shelf again. This gives much sensory experience while the setting is firmly in place. I also liked the balance of dialogue and narrative. Loved the Cat Chess - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

funny and true. you have a clear writing style, perfect for this for this type of book...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Delightful and fascinating read.

Backed
THE MIND SETTER

Thank you very much...your splendid prose has recaptured memories of Goa I thought had long disappeared...excellent writing which ought to get to the top of the ranking...good luck!
Stewart

A wonderfully wry sense of humour couched in an even more wonderfully dry sense of writing style and authorial structure.

BACKED

Evelyn, write more! great voice for a travelogue: wryly humorous, intimate, observant.
if you post more, let me know. great look at goa, i place i only fell upon in the '90s.
best wishes, andy
ps: if you have time, let me know what you think of crier of kathmandu.

Amusing and delightfully different.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway

Dear Evelyn,
You had me laughing out loud! I really enjoyed your airport experience (the curvature of the earth, brilliant)! You started off a little all over the place, but that is part of your charm. I hope that you do well with this because as cranky as cynics can be, we're the only ones who don't take ourselves or anyone or anything too seriously and turn that into something that makes other people smile. Good luck to you!

Christa
The Vulning of the Pelican

Hi Evelyn, The narrator’s train-of-thought contains so much hilarious observation along his traveling to India. The history of his name, his being tantalized by the internet, and the climate created between him and the overweight passenger next to him were written with seeming ease and cleverness. There’s a great deal of relief when they get to India but then the ruminations about Indian signs begin this detailed scenery again. A funny and replete travelogue in a style where every sentence has vitality. Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Evelyn, this is good stuff. Your first chapter is a smooth read. I like your first-person narrative voice.

Pleased to back your book.

Regards,

Joffrey

This is just what I needed--a laugh-out-loud piece that comes from the heart. I was disappointed that it was over after only two chapters. Please let us know when you load more. Well done. Backed.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Quarter-Finalist)

Thankyou so much, Wurzel

You are too kind Mike, good luck.

Full of dry sarcasm and spitting gems of wit.
This is marvelous reading...keep it up!
Shelved with a bellylaugh
mikegilli The Free

As a fifty something (who should know better than to write a book) myself, I loved the voice, wit, and content of this fascinating book. I wish you would have uploaded more of it because it's a treasure. From the start, "Goa is for druggies" to "I was digging illegal substances and knuckledusters out of the borders and plant pots for weeks" it is a joy to read. Backed with the greatest pleasure. I wish you the best with this.

ELEPHANTS AND ENFIELDS:

Evelyn,

This is laugh-out-loud stuff that can only come from the pen of a man who is able to laugh at himself as well at others. And this is the secret of most humour. But you do it exceptionally well. I also think it comes from the ability - the sharpness of intellect - to be able to observe, and the desire to observe, minutely, every nuance of human nature and of the objects and obstacles we daily encounter.

I always wanted to go to India, but it never happened, and it's too late now. One should never put off doing things straight away instead of just thinking about doing them. Like writing. So I do hope you'll get cracking and write the rest of this wonderful story.

Backed, with great pleasure.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

I found it very amusing that you are named after your ancestor's lover, a bit like Indiana Jones being named after the family dog. I think what 'sells' the reader is that you not only have the wit, but also the knack of imparting useful information that is unwittingly memorable. Few people have the ability to self-deprecate while impressing with intellect, yet you have such attributes. India is also the perfect contrast for your travels and travails. Backed.

I liked this so keep writing. Kop - The Lucky Bean Tree.

ARE YOU MAD? What a cheek only posting 2 chapters, I feel bloomin' cheated, can I have my money back???

Brilliantly funny. What's left to say.

Shelved of course.

Melxx

HI Eeverlin, This is witty and fast paced. Let me know when you add to it. Gerry

This is an amusing and obc=servant piece of writing that is slowly telling me quite a lot...but it suffers from one gross defect - It is so far only 2 chapters long,. That does not stop me from backing it/ Good luck- but for Gods sake add at leat 4 more Chapters.... DB. ALL THESE ARE MEMORIES OF MY VOYAGE

As a fellow 'stupid pasty tourist' I have to say that this is genuinely a fantastic read. Witty, droll and brimming with confidence. One of the funniest books on the site. Well done. Carl. The Time Hunters.

You won me with grandfather's letters and the reason for the name. You kept me with your wicked sense of humour and observing eye.
Loved it.
Backed.

This is wonderful! Even when you describe something distasteful, it still doesn't fail to reek with charm.
Very nicely written! Backed. Best regards, jedward (Knut)

Elephants & Enfield’s

Your perspective on life is perfect. They say that laughter adds years to your life, if it’s true your heading for the Guinness book of records. Thanks for an (far too short) insight into your life, it was a joy. – Good luck

The only Evelyn in my family was a little female dog tha was afraid of cats. My favorite Evelyn up to now is Mr. Waugh, who wrote the funniest book ever penned about the American funeral industry (The Loved One). But this Evelyn just might replace Waugh's little masterpiece as the funniest book I have read lately.

I know of few naming phenomena more amusing than being named for one's grandfather's mistress. That seems to set the tone for everything that follows, and the book definitely does not disappoint. Among other delights are the long digressions characteristic of a sort of leisurely fun that is missing from many otherwise funny books. I seem to recall that Sterne's Tristram Shandy has a chapter entitled "A Digression Upon Digressions," which suits well with the tone of this book--a book I will be returning to when life gets too serious.

Shelved.

Bill

Your very funny and striking title drew me in to read this book; and the pitch added to my expectation of an amusing and engrossing read. I found that your writing lives up perfectly to title and pitch. You have a pleasant, relaxed style, brimming over with wit and demonstrating excellent descriptive powers. Your picture of the six cats, for instance, 'every tick-laden, bus-ticket-eared, boot-faced, incontinent specimen,' had me laughing with pleasure; but it also struck a chord as being exactly right. Later you describe the monsoon winds in Goa, which, 'send palm leaves and litter skittling down red-rivered roads,' and again we see the picture come to life before our eyes. You have a book here which will be a delight to many. Your arrival at Goa airport, meeting 'pyjamaman,' and, after dealing with the passport problem, finding Hannah outside in the sun, engaged on one of those long conversations which, you tell us, you regularly have to cut short, because of 'a shortage of life expectancy,' starts us off on a holiday which promises beauty, fun, and adventure on every page. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Evelyn
Brilliant: your humour is right up my street ! No criticisms.
I think it will do well and have backed it.
Best wishes
William (The Caves of Caerdraig)

This is a funny, funny book. Your sense of humor is off the wall. A good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Dear Evelyn, I love your humor. :) Your stories are a good read. :) If you cut your long paragraphs into half or even lots more paragraphs, you may keep your readers to finsih each paragraph & have a more fun easier faster read.. Your dialogue could be in paragraphs, too, so we can whiz through with delight. Your gaiety makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm BACKING/COMMENTING on your book to help advance it. :) PLEASE take a moment to BACK/COMMENT on my TWO Books, ... "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" ... and the UNEDITED version? ... "Tell Me True Love Stories"
Thanks, Susie :)

Hi Evelyn, This is very funny and I had to read it all.
I've no doubt that we live on the same planet -- Morris 1000's and Golden Virginia roll-ups! Says a lot.
You write very well and I like your long sentences.
Your para re. the air hostess and 'food' was an especially memorable.
Some nice descriptions and I was pleased you mentioned the potential in Goa for death by coconut, about which i wrote a short forum post a while back. Possibly, one of the world's most embarrassing deaths.
I'm glad your friend only had a bump.

Constructive criticism (hopefully):

Your book will be easier to read if you split up some of the long paragraphs and divide any dialogue off from the narrative -- especially true for online reading.

A quick polish will remove the occasional awkward phrase but otherwise it all seems pretty tight.

You'll have to be the judge as to how much personal back-ground you bring into the tale and how much you stay 'in Goa'. So far, so good in that respect I think. Just my opinion but I'd slant it towards the Goan Experience, more than back-story over all, as you continue to write.

I like your cover but it could look a little like a children's book and although it depicts an elephant, it isn't really very Indian-looking.

These are just a few thoughts which I hope are helpful. Ignore them all, of course, if you wish.

I'm looking forward to reading more, so do continue and let me know when you've written more.
Drop us a line if ever you come up north to Nepal.

BACKED!
Best wishes, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

Kept me on-screen to the last word. Well done.
phil

So funny! It's also well written and keeps the reader involved! It's hard to imagine this is a true story! I would love to go to these parts of India and you really made them come alive! It was a pleasure to read this. Good luck!

Missy

This is great - Evelyn (everlin) has a descriptive unique narrative voice and I love her tongue in cheek sarcasm! Well done for now and BACKED but I will return for more of her non-ramblings :) I love the cover art as well.

Liz
The Cheech Room

My heartfelt thanks Brad, i'd better get the ballpoint out sharpish. Best regards, Eve

This is hilarious. I am thoroughly enjoying the chapters I have read. Looking forward to reading more this weekend.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Still tittering....! Very enjoyable and very funny. It is definitely one that I would like to have in cosy paperback format to curl up with and enjoy, preferably with a cup of tea to hand. In these instances it is very frustrating to have to scroll down a computer screen. Consider it shelved and best of luck with getting it into print. Straussy

What a brilliant coffee time read, nearly lost most of it over the old keyboard! Good luck with this and looking forward to more, ribs permitting. Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

I love your meandering, don't stop. The description of your grandfathers revenge made me laugh. I hope you can keep this up in the rest of the book. I went to Goa to a friends wedding 2 years ago and it has the most beautiful beaches. Good luck better then Clarkson.

John
Call of the Thunderbird

brilliant!

I see that you are on many shelves but no one has bothered to comment you other than one other person, so that honor will be mine, being Authonomy's #1 commentator. Spend some time on your pitches I cannot overemphasize how you need to master this basic sales technique to grab the casual reader. That's how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

I have enojyed this immensely so far...looking forward to more, more ,more

Backed with laughter

George Fripely - Wurzel of Clutton