Love is a colour too

'... one day my life began to change' hooked me. Charlene is likable. You flesh her out well. Your descriptions are effective. For example, the description of the Dean Street coffee shop. I can smell the shop as well as see it. You illuminate your narrative with brilliant similies such as 'like a duck without feathers.' Your conversations flow naturally and propel your story forward. Your wit is hilarious. Your pacing suits my tastes.

Nit:
"I'm sorry Charlene but it's quite simple." There should be commas before and after 'Charlene.'

This is a masterfully constructed, witty romantic novel. Backed.

Raven, This is a well written, beautifully paced story...Your cast of characters are so endearing, well rounded,stubborn,funny,wise, engaging I don't think you left out one important emotion we experience and need to understand life...

The best part of your writing however, is your HUMOR...Humor is the best medicine for so many things, even medical doctors have finally figured that out, and this book is going to add years to the lives of many.

You dealt with serious issues that we all have had to deal with but you cleaverly intertwined humor with pain, doubt, and insecurity and allowed us to contemplate it, without leaving us feeling heavy. That is a real gift.

When your done with this book there is a big smile on your face, yet you don't feel as if you just read fluff. You still come away with a bit of insight, while being transported through your descriptive and vivid paintings of not only surroundings but emotions.

For me I would buy this, recommend this, and support this, whole heartily...We all like to escape every now and again and this is a delightful journey to take to get the job done...Backed and thankful to your daughter for her encouragement to share your gift with us... Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

Love is a Colour Too

What a wonderful and humorous portrayed character you have created.
Intelligent, humorous, written with great style and flair this is a fantastic read from prologue to the page ‘no intention of running into Colin (it’s as far as I have got).
Very, very (one more for luck) very impressive piece of writing.

You have the perfect set up here for a romantic novel. A feisty, attractive heroine, single after her divorce, with a fascinating job as a not-quite-best-selling writer. Charlene Dickens - great name - as she heads off to Portland to put some spark into her latest novel, by meeting some people who actually make their living from the sea, gets off to a good start by meeting two attractive men on the train, though neither of them are fishermen. This is an interesting plot, with much more excitement promised to come. Your writing is smooth, fluent, and full of laid back wit and humour. Charlene is a very likable girl, easy to relate to; and your characters are all well drawn, vivid individuals, whom we can enjoy spending time with. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

I like the short prologue. It tells volumes about Charlene Dickens (very whimsical!) and her friends.The first chapter sets up the story nicely and primes the reader for the adventure that is about to happen. Good job.
Bookster

I've just read a few random chapters, but I have enjoyed both your story and your style. I am backing your book.
Perhaps you will want to take a peak at mine as well. I think you'll like it. :-)
Teresa, Mary Magdalene; My Story.

A lovely, fresh style, drawing us in - I usually know by the first chapter whether or not it's the kind of book I'd read. More often than not, it's not the story that pulls me in but the writing style, and yours is the kind I'd read...
A very minor comment - run spellcheck - for e.g. London is a place you could loose yourself... (lose). But this is minor and so miniscule in a novel of thousands of words.

I had the same problem with mine, sometimes reading it too often makes you skip over the mistakes. I still have to sit with a highlighter and patience... and I'm still not there!

A good read, and flows well, one to watch out for.

Best wishes,
Patricia Collins
PINK FREUD

Hi Raven

I imagine this to be just the kind of book that Charlene writes - a lovely long wallow in someone else's emotional ups and downs in a realistic setting and the reassurance of a happy ending in the offing. Very enjoyable. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

Excellent as I expected after reading the other one...stylish and polished writing which is difficult to emulate.
Backed
Stewart

I needed cheering up to-day so I have been looking for some light reading. "Funny and Uplifting" caught my eye in your pitch and I have to say you were right. Even with the ups and downs this is a lovely story and very easy to read. Backed with pleasure, Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

interesting take on life as a writer

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

The reader is hooked right from the start with a witty and likeable mc..this is funny, modern, well-written, page-turning..it has the formula to succeed and I hope it does!

I stumbled across your book and was attracted by the cover, the title and the pitch. (I did notice that you missed the 'n' out of 'changes' in the long pitch.) When it came to the story I wasn't disappointed. You have a lovely, easy-to-read style and I fell in love with Charlene straight away. I love your descriptions and your imagery, and your humour is light.
Backed.
Gill

I stumbled across your book and was attracted by the title and the pitch. (I did notice that you missed the 'n' out of 'changes' in the long pitch.) When it came to the story I wasn't disappointed. You have a lovely, easy-to-read style and I fell in love with Charlene straight away. I love your descriptions and your imagery and your humour is light and easy.
Backed.

Very enjoyable story, and good involviing characters.
Backed

You write beautifully, giving this great potential to reach the Editor's desk.
Backed, with pleasure.
Best wishes
Suzy (Raven)

An interesting read...

Too many chliche's - backed for potential.

this book surprised me because i was not sure what to expect
it's a pleasant experience to read something absorbing with strong clear characters and identifiable likable traits
margo's clearheadedness and penchant for planning contrasts well with our heroines charming wooly mind
I like both paul and colin.
the storyline is good; the prisonships lurking as a threat; the setting well conveyed.
deserves a backing
Micheal O'Durcain
Murder on the Menu

Your dialogue is amazing. Your first person insights are entertaining. A very good read. I especially enjoyed the humor which seems to fit with my own - guess that's why I liked it so much.

A few punctuation issues, easily fixed. I wonder if you'd want to tighten up the first chapter a bit, maybe telling us a little less about Margo in a later chapter?

Can't wait to read the rest of it. Backed with pleasure.

Lou H
American Kin: Choices

I was almost late for work reading this. It’s a book that you easily slide into and then you’re hooked. An interesting premise peppered with all the possibilities of love and romance. I liked the way you wrote the interaction between Charlene and Margo publisher.
They tie in between the sea and its empathy to help her characterise is an interesting one or is it a ploy to put her in a hotel full of men. Which one will have the most impact on her the floppy haired blonde guy or Mr slick and sheen. A must read more novel, its excellent.
Sue Mackender - Knowing Liam Riley

I was almost late for work reading this. It’s a book that you easily slide into and then you’re hooked. An interesting premise peppered with all the possibilities of love and romance. I liked the way you wrote the interaction between Charlene and Margo publisher.
They tie in between the sea and its empathy to help her characterise is an interesting one or is it a ploy to put her in a hotel full of men. Which one will have the most impact on her the floppy haired blonde guy or Mr Slick and Sheen. A must read more novel, its excellent.
Sue Mackender - Knowing Liam Riley

I sank easily and happily into this book It has a great flow. The Prologue is cleverly done, giving an insight into Charlene's character in an original way. Chapter One jumps straight into the story and I instantly relate to Charlene, trying to juggle her day and remember things, even though she knows it would be better to write them down. I like the honesty of the writing and am very happy to put Love is a colour too on my shelf xx

Some of my thoughts:
the word 'trendy' sounds a little dated.
'Lifts are for the lazy!' feels like the author's voice taking over!
'My bed!' more impact without the exclamation mark.
'Me, I act on impulse'. the 'Me', doesn't sit right. Maybe something like 'Whereas I always act on impulse.'

xxx

Hi Raven,

Two words...Loved it.
Backed with pleasure.

Good luck,
Cerys (Gabriel)

Hello, Raven. I have placed your book on my watch list, and I plan to start reading it today. Thank you for backing my young adult novel, Seka. I will be returning the backing soon.
God bless!
Sharon Cooper

Oh I did not say BACKED FOR SURE.

Raven, I spent the night reading some chapters of your book and just loved the quirkiness in it. Your use of words create a chuckle for me. I see my colours as Intelligence,Elegance and Compassion
Others see my colours as, Volatile, Passionate and Stubborn. How wonderful that in a fiction book one can put on paper such wisdom. How many times do we see our true colours and others look through their sometimes , murky lenses. I found my last packet of chocolate hobnobs secreted below my spare tights , OMG I have actually done that, maybe not the hobnobs but chocolate digestives. Really good read. Have not read it all, apologies there, been up all night now and need to go to bed. A look at 'The Letter' and giving your "comments and "backing " would really be appreciated . BEST OF LUCK
Denise (The Letter)

This is an excellent piece of romantic fiction written with humour and realism. Charlene and Margo are great characters and I loved the first encounter with Paul Tucker on the train. This is a very funny and heart warming story that lovers of this genre will take to immediately. Agents and publishers, wake up and smell the coffee (in Dean Street !). Backed with pleasure.

Regards, Chris Williams – The Stories of Rhys
www.thestoriesofrhys.com

LOVE IS A COLOUR TOO

Raven - If your book could be sliced it would be the perfect loaf. Layer on layer invites further reading. I found it an engrossing read, although I did not read all the 35 Chapters posted. If your book was a bottle of the finest wine I would drink the lot. A really enjoyable read and very marketable too. It won't be long on the shelves. Selling like hot cakes comes to mind. Backed.

Tony Brady. SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

Raven the opening sentence of your prologue took me to the sentence in your pitch that just captivated me, the reference to her red hair. I am really envious, in a good way, of your ability to put such sentences together and of course this ability of yours runs through your book. You continually played your characters in my head and I wanted to have more and more. This book is a really easy read in its flow, and extremely well crafted. I would be so pleased if you could give me some feedback on my book. It seems to need work but as it is non-fiction and I am not a writer per-se, I could do with all the assistance I can get. Thank you and BEST of luck with this book

Denise

Thanks so much for your great comments about The Job. I always get a kick hearing from someone who actually gets the book.
You've got a clever and appealing premise here, and your writing has a light touch that feels natural and supports the narrative well. My one critique would be not to let "I" dominate so much. It's difficult to avoid in first-person, of course, but the more you can write around "I" the less repetitious your writing will seem. Other than that, I only saw a few minor punctuation issues. Overall this is quite a good effort, appealing even to those who don't spend much time with chick lit, and I'm happy to back it for you.
Craig

What a fantastic opening. Naturally I had to stop reading and list my own "colors," and then my best friend's, before I could continue reading. But what a wonderful way to introduce a character. As I read further, I found still more to like.

I especially like the sentence from Chapter 12: "He might look a scruffy sight on shore but here, at sea; he was undoubtedly a master in his element." (I would not use the semicolon myself, just a comma, but never mind that.) There is nothing like someone being out of their element to look "unacceptable" to others, or being in one's element to look even noble. The contrast provided in this single sentence is a miniature masterpiece. Am I overstating it? ...Nah, I don't think so. I like it.

One of the most delightful aspects of this book, in my opinion, is that the humor promised in the pitch is indeed to be found within the pages. Comedy is a lot harder to write than some people realize, but here it does indeed, find its element. The bit about being named Charlene Chaplin was, in the midst of her anger, comic relief at its finest.

This is my type of book. I would buy this. Your MC is a strong and witty character and I love the seaside setting. The humour is great and the narrative voice is perfect for this type of story. I like the first person narrative.
I have only read the first three chapters but I will be back to read more. Good luck with this. I am more than happy to back it.

Best Wishes

Anna

Sometimes first person can be well, can be somewhat annoying or even tiring. I don't know why but I guess without that narrator to act as a filter at times, maybe it's just hard to spend that much time with one person. Or maybe it's just me; maybe I'm volatile or stubborn, or both. This is NOT an issue with your wonderful novel. From the first scene, where you recount the seemingly harmless college game, Charlene is anything but boring. She seems to have problems, sure, but she has a balanced air about her and doesn't overly dwell on her own random thoughts. So I think the first person works well here. Maybe she is someone I could have a long lunch with. The plot is intriguing and this is extremely well-written. Definitely something I would buy. Well done!

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

I loved the balance of conversation to description. You have a great story here Raven. I’m up to chapter ten and intend to come back and finish the chapters. Backed this book with pleasure

Keith

I enjoyed reading it so much I couldn't put pen to paper to take notes, it would have spoiled the flow. I like Charlene, feel her fustrations and her stubbornness come through. There are some lovely touches like the framing of the words. Margo is an interesting character too and I am wondering how she will be carried on in the story. It is witty and clever and I cant find anything not good to say about it, just thanks for a great read.
Very happily backed
Christina
From Under the Bed

You have a great voice for the chick-lit genre and your writing flows smoothly. It's easy to read and moves along quickly, particularly the dialogue. I read the prologue and first two chapters, and enjoyed your writing very much! I only had one suggestion (besides some missing commas) and that was the change in atmosphere with Charlene and Margot where it goes from tension to laughter. I think there could be another line or paragraph there to help ease the transition, a beat that helps the reader to feel the tension break. It's a good line of dialogue, but perhaps could be prefaced by a cocked eyebrow or something. Just a thought.

Well done!

Cyndi
Between

HI Raven ...

This is a very good read and I wish I had time to read more. The plot flows well and you have a strong main character in Charlene. Dialogue is good and believable and flows well. (Love the similarity to Charles Dickens).

I won't go over what has been mentioned before. So only two real suggestions.

The ellipsis should be: 'word ... word', with a space before and after. At the end of dialogue it should be: 'word ...' with a space before only, yours seem a little unruly. They should not be used with other punctuation: 'word ...?'

I try to limit the use of 'had' as I find this word slows the flow of the plot. I read a sentence first with 'had', then without. In most cases the word can be left out. Before words ending 'ed', 'had' is unnecessary for the word is 'past tense' anyway: 'had called', 'had worked', 'had inherited', 'had loved', 'had fared'.

I apologise for my pickiness. 'Backed'. All the Best. Regards ... Duncan.

First person narrative was an excellent choice for this piece, and your narrative is incredibly strong. It gives the reader a real sense of the novel as they begin to immerse themselves in this funny and compelling work.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

A great piece of writing, tight and focused. The characterisation and dialogue are excellent, with a minimum of description in place of wordy exposition, which gives the reader an instant insight into the characters and their surroundings.

The touches of comedy were nicely done: Although if you told her it was half full...
...a scrambled breakfast (and I don't mean eggs)...

Nitpicks: there's a slight tendency towards repetition: I had no (problem) or modesty... but I have no such (problem)... I would suggest replacing the second 'problem' by restructering the sentence, perhaps: I clearly remember... something like that.
...unless it was from the (window) of a plane...I turned my head and glared at the scene below the (window). Perhaps omit the first 'window' and just say: ...unless it was from a plane.

My friendship with (Margo)...(Margo) ten years my senior... You do use Margo's name quite a lot close together, perhaps replace it with 'she' or 'her' occassionally.

...try to breath some (life) into the characters. At the moment they just don't come to (life). You don't need the second sentence, it's just repeating what was said in the first.

"(But) would you have had her point of view?" "(But) only if I studied the cracks..." The second sentence is in response to the first, so you don't need to open it with 'But', just: "Only if I studied the cracks..."

Finally, some of the narrative and dialogue is a little formal as in: (That is) her strength. I think you need to use more abbreviations, as in That's her strength, this will give the dialogue in particular a more naturalistic flavour.

That said, this is a very good read and despite the fact I don't normally read this genre I thoroughly enjoyed it and am very happy to back it. Good luck.

Raven - Love is a colour too is all you describe in your pitch - witty with an easily identifiable character in Charlene plus it is very well written, you are good at describing places and people and I want to read more. There are a few words that should be hyphenated but that's merely editing - the book is excellent and backed with enthusiasm. Balepy (Freckles the Fawn)

Intriguing and easy to read. The main character is believable and well written.

I really enjoyed this. The title and cover is very eye catching and the prologue is one of the best I've read - it really sets the scene for the entire book. Charlene is someone the reader will want to follow and get to know better. Your writing is smart, witty, sophisticated and filled with humor. I love the premise and this book is romantic and highly entertaining.
Backed earlier.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

Raven,

Very enjoyable and easy to read. Charlene is a great main character and very real, you bring her to life with your wit. Your humor keeps the story going beautifully.

Good luck to you.

Barbara, Bryant Cove

I couldn't stop wandering if this was a fiction or real life, the Charlene character was well created. Well done.

Seems a bit of a slow start but enjoyable, relaxed writing with quite a lot of insight. Might be worth considering a little more action early on to grab the reader and catch up with the background as you go. Let's hope a self-fulfilling prophecy. Backed.

Seems a bit of a slow start but enjoyable, relaxed writing with quite a lot of insight. Might be worth considering a little more action early on to grab the reader and catch up with the background as you go. Let's hope a self-fulfilling prophecy. Backed.

Seems a bit of a slow start but enjoyable, relaxed writing with quite a lot of insight. Might be worth considering a little more action early on to grab the reader and catch up with the background as you go. Let's hope a self-fulfilling prophecy. Backed.

Enjoyed the story--backed. Best wishes and God's blessing for your novel.
-author of December Gold

I love Charlene Dickens. What a brilliantly fun name for a romantic author! I find your writing easy to read and your story engaging and fun. I always find it unusual when a man writes so well for women--and I would say this story has woman appeal--but there have been a few men who are great at it and I say you fall in with them. Backed with delight.
Barbara

This is a really well written, witty, tale with sharp dialogue and just the right pace. I love Charlene, she's my sort of girl. Good luck with it. Backed with pleasure.
Jennie (Lies and Betrayal)

Backed with confidence! Tom Ryerson (Carnal Wreckage)

Thank you for the comments. I can see the cliches but the story doesn't always follow the obvious plot turns. My partner often read the chapters as they were written. Si I developed the plot to keep her off balance. That in fact was how the story was made up...chapter by chapter...so even I didn't know how it would end up!

Thanks again for your comments. I do welcome them always

Raven

Hi Raven,
Ah, romance about a writer who writes about romance. This is entertaining and your heroin has a sharp wit that kept pulling me forward.

A stranger on a train as well. In some ways you are in danger of falling head first into the depths of cliches but I think this is a genre in which the reader expects to feel comfortable and you do that very well.

Well worth some time on my shelf,

John

Hi Raven,
Ah, romance about a writer who writes about romance. This is entertaining and your heroin has a sharp wit that kept pulling me forward.

A stranger on a train as well. In some ways you are in danger of falling head first into the depths of cliches but I think this is a genre in which the reader expects to feel comfortable and you do that very well.

Well worth some time on my shelf,

John

Funny. I liked your writing style. A few grammer things (like commas), but nothing distracting. Good Job.