Book Jacket

 

rank 3452
word count 19966
date submitted 31.03.2010
date updated 03.04.2010
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy
classification: universal
incomplete

Between the Shadows and the Light

Alan R

To overcome years of psychological repression requires taking on only the appearance of a reality. The truth must be proven to oneself.

 

“I, a stranger and afraid in a world I never made.” This quote from Alfred Housman’s poem, ‘The Laws of God, The Laws of Man”, captures the central theme of the novel. The story revolves around Jason Steer, a young man who has become disillusioned with his existence in the emotionally and physically repressive environment of Dead End. The Erudites, who control the masses and who occupy privileged dwellings in 6568, a magnificent construction of buildings, which tower above Dead End, stand in Jason’s way to self-fulfillment. The main point of the book rests on this central idea that reality and our conception of it is both individualistic and mercurial. Jason’s emotional state is antagonistic towards that of the majority who exist in Dead End. He needs to find himself and to do that he must be aligned with the non-conformists. Furthermore, his association with this illegal group and it’s leader, Koffka, force him to confront his most profound beliefs and entangle him in a plot, where the very essence of who he believes himself to be is put to the ultimate test.

 
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tags

dystopia

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15 comments

 

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RichardBard wrote 286 days ago

Hi Alan!

Since you haven’t been to Authonomy for a while, I hope it’s okay that I’m sending this through your book comment:

I’d like to thank you for backing BRAINRUSH (a Thriller) last year. Because of you it hit the Authonomy Number-1 slot, attracted an agent, and landed a film option. Now that’s a brain-rush! The formal book launch is September 1st and the sequel will be released in December. None of this would have been possible without your help. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Sincerely,
Richard Bard, BRAINRUSH

PS. If you want a good laugh, check out the temporary book-trailer video on the BRAINRUSH website. It’s there as a placeholder for the upcoming professional video. The current one features children and it’s guaranteed to make you smile! And yes, the younger kid on the screen is really me. You can see the video at www.RichardBard.com. The link is also on my Authonomy profile page. Special offer for former Authonomy backers between now and the formal launch on Sept 1st: If you would like to receive a “Review” copy of the eBook (plus 2 FREE thrillers from the Kindle Top-20 PAID Bestseller list – yes, really), go to the website, click the “Contact” button, and leave a message that includes your Authonomy username and the secret code words “I Feel the Rush!” Details of this promo will be emailed to you. Thanks!

Battle Knyght wrote 688 days ago

The narrative is first class; but I am confused. I lost the story line. All I can say at this stage is stay with it, it has great potential.
BK

RichardBard wrote 732 days ago

Dear Alan,

I’m getting married in a week,
My life is on track.
If my book gets published,
There’ll be no turning back.

All I need now
Is a little help from my friends,
To make BRAINRUSH a winner,
For a happy ‘The End’.


I’ve already backed your book. Will the romantic inside you return the favor on mine?

Cheers!

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Semi-Finalist)

lionel25 wrote 776 days ago

Alan, good job on that first chapter. Nothing to nitpick there.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

snave wrote 781 days ago

Love the way you have weaved jason has a character of great interest- excellent start to what I am reading so far - backed with pleasure - snave

Barry Wenlock wrote 781 days ago

Hi Alan, I really enjoyed this. It's imaginative and the plot thickens nicely. I liked your MC Jason and the bleak landscape he finds himself in. There are a few typos, but not enough to in any way spoil my read. Backed with pleasure. I hope you're writing more.
Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

Melcom wrote 781 days ago

You have a great premise here that promises much for the reader to sink their eager teeth into.

Needs a little editing but then don't we all. The story is full of tension and that was good enough for me.

The first line passed, should be past!

Happily shelved

Melxx

AlanR wrote 782 days ago

An unusual premise, Jason is quite an interesting character and has so much to deal with. There are a few complex messages coming through which give the book a certain depth. Some editing required but the foundation seems to be solid enough.

Backed,

Lisa



Hi Lisa

Thanks for the feedback.

Alan

soutexmex wrote 783 days ago

Being Authonomy's #1 commentator, trust me, spend some time on your pitches I cannot overemphasize how you need to master this basic sales technique to grab the casual reader. That's how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

lisawb wrote 783 days ago

An unusual premise, Jason is quite an interesting character and has so much to deal with. There are a few complex messages coming through which give the book a certain depth. Some editing required but the foundation seems to be solid enough.

Backed,

Lisa

Bill Carrigan wrote 783 days ago

Hello Alan,

Browsing for a good read, I clicked on "Between the Shadows and the Light" and read on and on. A keen imagination is evident here, as well as some graphic description, and I decided with enthusiasm to back your novel. Regrettably, though, the notes I took on Chapter 1reveal a lot of stylistic errors. I'm going to copy them here for your consideration if you edit the manuscript again.

--Line 1: Change [ passed ] to [ past ].
--After [ men, women and children ], delete the comma and [ who ]. The next phrase should be restrictive.
--Change [ suction pump, which ] to [suction pump that ]. This too should be restrictive (no comma).
--Delete [ so as ].
--To avoid repeating [ ensure ] and some redundancy, change [ to ensure that the safety of the Intelligence Hall was defended ] to [ to guarantee the safety of the Hall. ].
--Insert a comma after [ all day ]. Long compound sentence.
--Change [ pushed me forward aggressively ] to [ shoved me forward ]. Lots of adverbs here.
--Delete [ in such a way as ] from the phrase [ designed in such a way as to ].
--Delete the sentence [ The containers are checked regularly . . . ], mainly to avoid using ensure twice in this paragraph, which is also running long.
--Delete the comma after [ occasions ].
--Delete the comma after [ normally ].
--Delete the comma after [ streets ].
--Change [ After discarding my uniform, ] to [After I had discarded my uniform, ]. In this dangling modifier, you have actually said that your father discarded your uniform.
--Delete [ I ] after [ eventually ].
--Insert a comma after [ By managing the words ].
--This paragraph contains many short sentences, changing your style. Consider connecting some of them.

Please take a look at "The Doctor of Summitville" and back it if you really find it worthy.

Good luck, Bill

Burgio wrote 783 days ago

I like stories that describe what the future may be like. This one paints a pretty gloomy picture but that's also what makes Jason such an interesting character. He's sympathetic because he has to deal with all that's changed. And makes this a good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Jim Darcy wrote 784 days ago

You have a bleak vision here but you convey it well to your reader. You pull sympathy for Reg very quickly and then build up the society of Dead End, the Erudites and the unfainess and paranoia very well too. You do overegg your cake on occasion but you need a certain richness to contrast with the bleakness of the situation. Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

lizjrnm wrote 784 days ago

It is evident that you have spent time and passion in writing this book. Intelligent and imaginative and easy to back!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Mairi Graham wrote 784 days ago

An interesting pitch - the Houseman quote is great and perfectly matched to the text. I doubt it will pull in vast numbers of readers though, as it deals heavily in thematic analysis and doesn't give away much of the plot. That may not matter though, as fans of dystopias will recognise what you're offering and read on and they won't be disappointed. Your writing is well matched to your topic. My only sugestion is that you pay attention to unnecessary modifiers - 'darted erratically' for instance, or 'obsequious,' which is overstates what the context makes obvious. The problem seems to be confined to your opening paragraphs but they serve as an introdution to the whole fabric of the place so the more care you take over precise word use here the better the reader's initial experience of Dead End. Not that a good initial experience will prepare them for what they'll meet in the world you've created, but you know what I mean. Dead End is mind chilling place. I hope it gets better as you go on, for Jason's sake.

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