Puppet Television

very good writting style...you use effective narrative and dialogue to the full...l shall back...
read SEASONS...

Hi Alex, A very good story but it needs an edit here and there. However, despite that, I was entertained throughout, so I have backed it with pleasure.
Best wishes and good luck,
Barry

And, by the way, I liked it from start to finish.

This is most definitely a twisted tale that captures the reader, beguiles them with promise of romance and redemption, intrigures them with the paranormal, then suddenly takes a turn so fast fall-like.. there is no recovery. I'm not sure if the 26 chapters I've read are all there will be, but it left me curled in a fetal position, seriously disturbed. I do hope you'll do a cleaner finish if chapter 26 is your final chapter Alex.
I caught a few misspellings and grammatical errors, especially toward the end, among the paragraphs in the last five chapters, but I was so captured by what was going to happen, I didnt manage to note where they were. Sorry Alex.

Nice premise. The opening is jerky. The dialogue needs sharpening up. this is promising but needs more work to smooth out glitches

Rosalind
Good for Him

Hi
I've read four chapters and it really brings the reader into the teachers head as joel did.
this a very good concept and keeps the reader interested.
Peevor is seriously repulsive and Car has the reader ssympathy.
Watchlisted till I clear my shelf
Well done
Micheal O'Durcain
Murder on the Menu

thanks for taking the time to read, and glad you enjoyed it!
Alex

This is awesome. Attention-grabbing opening scene, sufficiently disorienting, great prelude to future episodes. Backed with pleasure.

Chapters 10,11,12
Story fast developing. Exciting read. I wonder what's going to happen to Anthony, his brother and Carys.
Well done. Cheers, M

- Weekend Chimney Sweep
- Sarajevo Walls of Fate

I love the style of your writing and how I can "see" the story, good luck, I wish you all the best with it. Backe. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Puppet Television - Read chapters 10 & 11 –

All very believably delivered and I liked the mother & dolls stuff. Your timing is good, the girl arrives and they talk, and you picked a good place to break between chapters, just as it is getting tense about him proving to her that he can sense other’s thoughts and they leave the flat.

The line “how come it sounded fine in my head” made me think of Doctor Who yesterday ;) It’s a good line. Did wonder though why some of the narrator’s thoughts, like this one, are in bold and some not. Onscreen this is OK but in a book it might look weird.

Good tension as the plot hooks back to his brother.

Read up to the end and again it breaks on the action so I would have read more if it was here… Luk7 PIXELATED

Very well written Alex. Fantastic, exciting, and heart thumpng-through-the-chest. You brought me there!

Chapter - 10

Everyone pretends it is easy for boys to make the first move, but often it isn’t. The dialogue is realistic for the situation and so are his reactions – well written. A great hook at the end of the chapter as Anthony does not want the door opened., forcing the reader to turn the page.
This is well written and I am happy to back it.

Anthony
Aqua Omega

haha. cheers, glad you liked it!

What I don't see in your list of genre catagories on the left is HUMOR..."I wouldn't clean it up and it's mine."

This is a great read for grabbing your attention from the start and dragging the reader into this. I see that others have suggested that it could easily translate into film or television and I agree.

Good read!

Lockjaw

Alex, I'm not going to claim to be an expert, since I've just joined, so take anything I say with a grain of salt.
I like the story...a lot. It could be a screenplay, or a television series, and with more descriptives and scene development, it could be a novel. I have a personal interest in this sort of phenomenon and it is believable to connect the onset of seizures with the onset of telepathy. The discussion about healthy foods lends it validity.
I got sort of confused at one point. It seemed he jumped from the experience in the lift to the knowledge he had a gift too quickly. I may have missed how he arrived so quickly to the idea that he'd acquired this gift. But the scene in which he gained the upper hand with pervy Peevor had me cracking up..I loved it!
In ch.7,I could just see you, as Joel, having that conversation with Carys and the experience and excitement of being young, shy, vulnerable, heart on the line, trying to be honest to a fault...made me laugh and smile and just endeared this story to me even more. Good job, my young friend...I look forward to more!

Puppet Television (FC Review)

Hi Alex – I’m backing this because I think the premise is great, the first ch is well written and you have managed to make me want to read on. I think you need to work on it a fair bit further though and the following comments reflect some areas where I think it needs the most. (Based on a read of 4 chapters.) I have mentioned specific examples, but my suggestions can be applied to others elsewhere.

Pitch: I think this is pretty good, although may be a bit wordy for some. You don’t need the ellipsis after _emerge_ imo.

As I say, premise is great – and a particularly good device for head-hopping.

Ch 1

You hook me as a reader in the opening, the ‘dream’ sequence works effectively.

You may want a semi colon after _familiar_ here:

It was familiar, I knew the hot air, the whitewashed buildings and the cobbled footpath.

Not sure what you mean by _reveled round_ here:

Anthony had reveled round, desperately trying to catch a nurse’s attention as she walked on by.

Otherwise, very clean chapter, and I was convinced by the doctor’s jargon.



Ch2
Too many ‘watching’s and ‘really’s in opening paragraph – and why does Joel ‘find’ himself back on the couch? Consider, ‘Back at the flat, I lay on the couch and watched Friends...’


Do you need Joel to say ‘What?’ when Anthony asks what happened when he had the seizure? It would be slicker if he launched straight into the explanation – you may feel it’s authentic but it can be boring, particularly since he wants to talk about it. If you are overly keen on using the speaking ‘through a mouthful of croquettes’ line, why not ascribe it to Anthony? This could also foreshadow the getting into other peoples’ heads maybe.

I hadn’t drank anything – should be ‘drunk’.

I knew we were lucky to live in a place were everything was supported by the government – should be ‘where’ everything was supported by the government

I think the bit when Joel’s going on about Cerys goes on a tad too long (from Carys Coben lived here onwards). I think we get that things aren’t blossoming between them yet without the need for three whole paragraphs. One would be probably be sufficient otherwise the pace suffers.

Why are you using bold font for the thoughts? Sounds like they’re shouting – usually italics are less strident.

I have to say, I’m not getting a strong Liverpool accent coming through, and if they live in Bootle, surely that would be the case. I’d actually forgotten from the pitch that’s where they’re from. I think you could get this across more in the dialogue eg instead of ‘Have you got school tomorrow, Joel?’, how about dropping the ‘Have’?

It would also sound less stilted: ‘You got school tomorrow, Joel?’

Ch 3

Typo here (should be comma after tragic): ‘McCord! What makes the deaths of Romeo and Juliet so tragic.’ Peevor snapped, causing me to tune in.

A word on tags though: using words like ‘snapped’ (or ‘spat’ to quote another eg) to ascribe to speech often has the opposite effect from that intended. They can jar the reader out of a story rather than keep them in. Words like ‘said’ may be boring but they are also glossed over by the reader.

I think I need more of a sense that Joel is clever, in other words be shown rather than being told ie here:

‘I know what we’re doing. I know everything about Romeo and Juliet. I’ve read it through. I can analyse texts. There are hundreds of different interpretations I could make from analysing an extract.’

and here

‘No, I know I’m good as I think I am, because otherwise I wouldn’t be at the top of the class.’

Maybe you do show it later???

Okay, so when he’s left Peevor, has he also left Bootle? I can picture the type of building but not the dunes. How has he got there – by train? There’s a building like that near Formby – but that would be too far to walk. (Ha ha – just me being pedantic here – it doesn’t really matter.) Now at the end, I’m assuming he’s in Peevor’s head??? I think you need to make it clearer with the writing if so. If not, I’m not sure what you’re doing.

Ch 4

Okay so now it’s clear he’s inside Peevor. I think it’s quite tricky what you’re trying to do BUT you make out Joel is inside his skin as it were eg here:

She slapped him, and I felt it. His skin was my skin. It was only then that I completely realised that I was looking through his eyes, that I was trapped within his body. But at the same time this didn’t feel real. It seemed far too vague and dismembered.

Now having made this clear, I wonder if you should maybe change to first person because this:

He put his hand to his face. If I could have done, I would have shuddered.

kind of takes Joel out of Peevor’s body, and it’s as if he’s just a spectator. That is what I mean when I say tricky. I still think this is an excellent device for giving an omniscient view.

Hope this is helpful. I’ll be putting my book up at the weekend. ZP

Hi Alex, A real physical onset such as a seizure is a dramatic and arduous way into Joel’s unusual ability. The story seems very centered in reality with the dehydration and the brother’s remedying it with the Coke. It brings a whole scientific level to the telepathy and is well-depicted so that the story feels believable. It caused me concern and that’s a different attitude towards characters with unbelievable abilities. Different and fascinating! Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Fair Critter Review

I would like to see a contraction of the long pitch. You present some very interesting ideas. Don’t tell us too much; simplify for a more effective pitch.

The quality of the writing is much better than I anticipated from the pitch. You are more than a competent writer, you have a unique voice. Even though your initial scene is a somewhat complicated concept, your writing is so vivid, so full of character that I kept with you. The only place where I ‘stuck’ was ‘Now I’m painting one on the street, somewhere hot and European.’ I stopped and thought, ‘what is going on’ an it took me a moment to get the thread. Perhaps this statement could be altered to guide the reader a little more into the series of alternate consciousnesses.

For polishing, you could cut down a little on adverbs in instances when removing them does not detract.

I love the scene you paint in chapter 2. It is such an everyday scene but these are the hardest to capture well. Brilliant. The dialogue is completely plausible. The relationship between the brothers is touching and well observed.

Your use of apt similes is lovely and adds dimension and flavour.

The exchange between McCord and Joel is well done.

As you can probably tell, I liked this a lot. I think you are a great writer. Good luck in finding a publisher and work on your pitch.

[R17 & 41 *message]

This is a fantastic read. The pitch was very interesting and fully borne out in the text. The account of the seizure in the lift is excellent. The use of the odd formatting of the coloured flashes is a neat trick. Bold, different, successful and appropriate. I like the dialogue. It’s natural and flows well. I read through to the psychic encounter with Peevor, because I wanted to see how you did this. It was fantastic. The way he takes revenge on his teacher conveys the excitement he gets from using Peevor’s thoughts against him. Backed with pleasure.

Hey Toby, thanks for such thorough! I didn't realise I used 'like' so much! I've changed Peevor's third person perspective to first person in chapter four, as I thought this approach might be more effective. Thanks for pointing out the POV problem there.

Cheers,

Alex

Puppet Television by Alex Moran
Group D Critter Comment

There are some strong descriptions:
* I was pale, thin and avoided, like spilt milk.
* she just stared ahead, her eyes glossy like they’d been covered in cling film
* His breath wheezy, loud and slushy with the build up of saliva ready to spill over his thick lips.
* all sounds were muffled, as if someone plunged my head into hot bathwater.
* She may as well have been wearing a shower curtain from the seventies.

Flashbacks to e. e. cummings, my favorite writer/poet. The colors are written in a way that forces the eye to flash. Originality is a bonus in a world of demons and vampires. Have you read Kriss Kross?

The dialogue between the MC and Mr. Peevor is animated & alive. It’s what one would expect between a gifted student and a teacher.

Joel is believable with a plight that is going to put him in interesting situations.

Now, for the areas in need of some consideration.

Chapter 1:
The word, ‘like,’ appears frequently. One of the hardest habits for me to break was starting sentences with the same word, so the use of ‘Now,’ to start a sentence popped out, as did ’Okay,’ and ‘I.’ If you haven’t done so already, take time to read your story aloud, slowly. There are missing words and/or two words together where one is needed.

Are ‘council estates’ similar to slums or tenement housing? Poverty housing? Perhaps a brief description of its condition would clarify for global market appeal.

A writer’s group used weekly activities to strengthen skills. One week, we observed people and tried to determine their mood. The, we wrote down the physical characteristics that lead to our conclusion. Uplifted eyebrow, eyes cast downward, head tilted, avoiding eye contact, etc. That way, we ‘showed’ what a character acted like instead of ‘telling’ the reader.

Chapter 2:
Move the description of the council flat to ch. 1. It’s picturesque, vivid.

I don’t understand the need for bold font.

Chapter 3:
There’s a paragraph where two people’s actions should be separated : ‘What is it?’ I asked. He raised his eyebrows. ‘He’ should begin a new para.

Check the word, ‘here,’ as it should be, ‘there.’

The last sentence shifts POV from MC to Mr. Peevor.

Chapter 4:
I assume the warning is for reviewers only. If not, nix it. The pitch should warn buyers. By the way, you did a great job of implying without showing. There’s nothing there that’s graphic or extreme. You’ve established tension, both within Mr. Peevors home and at school with Carys.

Since Mrs. Peevors is the only woman in the room, use ‘her’ or ‘his wife’ after the first instance.

POV shifts - a narrator, in this case the protagonist, can only know his or her own point of view. When offering the view of another, it must be implied or a thought. Since it later reveals why the shift, consider allowing the MC to question the thought. “How can I be aware of. . .” scenario.

While most people won’t mind it, I’m very uncomfortable with the Peevors. From their name to their obesity and grotesqueness, they’ve been smeared. Couldn’t the same thing happen with an average or attractive couple? Antagonists don’t have to look like villains or slime.

I admire your willingness to compete against mature writers. Something tells me you’ll hone your writing skills and enjoy a profitable career. Best of luck with your Authonomy adventure ~ Toby

Alex, your first two chapters are rather enjoyable. Good narrative and true-to-life dialogue. Good job overall.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

You have an exciting, intriguing pitch, which drew me in to read the book. Joel is an interesting, convincing teenage boy, and your opening scene, with his 'seizure,' was gripping and vividly written. You have an interesting cast of characters. Anthony is an unusual, likable person, a good brother who wants to look after Joel, but mixed up with Sean, his dealer and so-called friend, someone Joel dislikes and distrusts, probably rightly, since we know he threw Anthony to the wolves when they were both mugged. Carys is a mystery, since we see her through Joel's eyes. He doesn't know whether she dislikes him or is shy, and he's fascinated by her. This is a very realistic situation for a boy and girl of their age. Your writing is sharp, clear, and easy to read. Your descriptions of people and settings are excellent, convincing and vivid, particularly in the visions. Your description of Joel, 'I was pale, thin and avoided, like spilt milk,' is both funny and accurate. Your laid back humour runs through every page, and your dialogue is authentic and enjoyable. Joel's voice is individual and works well for me. A book I want to read more of. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Hi
I have done a fair critter comment. Here goes:
First I have to say that I got into this easily and was immediately there in the story with the main character. It is a good strong start.
A couple of nit pics.
You might want to change ' I had these shadows prowling around me' to 'I had shadows prowling around me', It tightens it up.
The writing applies to the senses, bringing in reality, 'The room was warm and wet with body heat and perspiration,'
Super experimentation and play with words/typography making it visual and giving it rhythm and is appropriate to mc.
Careful of adverbs, two in a row - 'slowly' and 'steadily'. One will do as they mean similar things.
Love the way you bring colour into the story and paint it.
Clever way to introduce Anthony into story and the discovery of the seizure, beginning of intoduction combinging elements of fantasy with stark reality.
Dialogue lightens up and gives break to intense decriptions. Neat ending.

Chapter 2
Perhaps you don't need anyway after, 'I found myself watching it (anyway).'
You ccould cut down on your use of 'really.' Losing adverbs can tighten up a story.
You don't need second 'Watch it' as it comes so close to first 'watch it'. Perhaps you can rephrase this.
I like the comparison between mc and his brother of age, 'Anthony was old enough to be a parent and I was young enough to be a child.' and I like the way Anthony relates his less strong dreams with the dreams of the mc. Good observation.'
Good similies for example 'Her eyes, glossy like they had been covered in cling film.'
The way the dealer is introduce is clever, we are being introduced to threads early on.
Am intrigued by how a likeable character like the mc will turn into a monster.

chapter 3
The introduction of his feeliings to Cary is cleverly linking Cary to the plot.
I like the way he stubbornly continues to draw , a character trait which might be developed later.
Marvellous characterisation of Peevor, 'Peevor attempted a warm smile, but the end result was slimy and disfigured.'
'Schizophrenic brithish weather' apt description.
Great description of abandoned factory setting the tone of the story, awesome and scary.
Again the artist comes out identifying closely with the story.
I like the humor with Peevor.

chapter 4
First para has some lovely attention to detail again creating a contrast reality to fantasy.
We feel the sad decline in the relationshp between Peevor and his wife but we dont really care as he is such an abnoxious character.
Clever switch into mind of Peevor - a little confusing at first but I dont know how you could change this and it does soon become apparent. Interruptions of mc help clarify things.
I like the black text. It is a visual and impactful way to express inner thoughts.
I like the way you slowly build up the story to give us the full picture in chapter four between reality and fantasy.

I loved reading it. Hope my thoughts are useful. I am not an experienced writer but have used the knowledge I have gained on this site.
Good luck
Backed
Christina
From Under the Bed

Hey cheers for the thorough comments, much appreciated! I haven't actually but the chapters on this website as they are in the book, as I thought they'd be too long on this site. They actually start with the 'PUPPET TELEVISION Some scenes viewers may find disturbing' thing.
Thanks again for the critique.

Alex

Ok, comments. I write this before reading anything, I like to tell the truth in my comments, so hopefully won't offend!

Here goes.

Like that opening sentence, nice. High in a nightclub sounds better? I know you probably like the odd sentence structure, but I would keep with it being normal, stops disengagement (black white).

Liking the changes of environment, nicely done. Though nothing like I have experienced, so having trouble working out if this is something someone could have naturally.

'cheesy grin' not needed. I knew he was being cheesy by what he said :)

Again, why was this man so happy. Not sure if it is needed, got that from his sentence.

First chapter problems: starts confusingly (which is fine), needs something punchy in the last section to keep me reading.

Chapter 2: mentioned this to someone else 'E4' very cultural specific reference, which is fine, but keep in mind you may lose non-brites here.
Interesting chapter character wise, but still nothing is really going on,remember to keep the readers interest.

Chapter 3: liked the mother bit. Worked really well.

Overall summary: i think you can write, if I am honest I think you need to work on getting to the punch as it were faster, really keep me glued to the pages. Nice descriptions, reminded me of how I write somewhat, try reading it out aloud if you haven't already.

Backed, as I think you have promise (trying not to be too patronising here, specially from someone so low in the ranks myself!) and good luck!

Dear Alex, I love fiction, fantasy, & thriller. :) Your story is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)

Really good idea, Alex -- it's going to be interesting to see what you make of it.
I get the sense this will get clearer as the story goes on and the jumps into other characters get easier for you and for the reader to make. Keep on having fun with it.
Luk7

An intriguing idea well executed. Best of luck :-)

Alex, You've really got something here. Your premise is not as far-fetched as some may think. In my research I encountered a growing number of documented cases of ordinary people who develop remarkable mental abilities following a seizure or other trauma to the head. Doesn't that mean that these abilities are resident in all of us, just waiting to be awakened? Some of the world's top research scientists think so (really!). And they are working hard to figure out how to tap into that potential. What's it going to be like, when each and every one of us is able to finally utilize the full power of our brains? In my humble opinion, the world as we know it will cease to exist.

Stick with your story. It has remarkable potential. I'm happy to back it.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Quarter-Finalist)

Caught my attentention and kept me reading. some bits I would have asked you questions on as they were not that clear but That could be my reading style- your writing style anyway I am happy to give it a backing.
Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley

Hmmm. I like this quite a bit. It needs working on - I don't know if you're uploading the most recent version or not, but this feels like something of an early draft to me. The narrative voice is a bit inconsistent - there are too many times where people speak in the same way the narrator lays out the story - and the vocabulary sometimes gets a little too florid and over the top. At the same time I think it's a very solid premise; this is meant as a compliment, not an accusation of plagiarism ;-) but it really puts me in mind of some kind of grimier, inner-city version of the Jumper novels, with (possibly?) less of the superhero plot elements. I'm interested to see where any moral or deeper psychological aspects of yours are headed, after your pitch, given that was one thing Steven Gould's books did so well (and the film got completely wrong).

But I think the writing definitely needs some polish. The spelling and grammar seemed fairly strong, for the most part, but the sentence structure and vocabulary were occasionally more than a little shaky. Right from the start you choose descriptive language I found somewhat clumsy, prone to making all the wrong kinds of visual connections - 'Stabbing into the rocky flesh of the mountain', I see someone wielding a knife climbing over a giant living creature; 'my lips being torn back', I'm trying to work out where the other person is who's grasped his lips and is yanking them back; 'the wind lapping up', you don't say lapping up, you say lapping against, and it's a word generally used in conjunction with something liquid... I haven't got the space to do a line-by-line critique and it'd probably come across as rather patronising, but I'd really say you needed to think very carefully about what some of the words you settle on actually mean.

I felt the dialogue was also a problem on occasion. What you had people trying to say was generally fine, frequently very good, even - but the words you actually put in their mouths didn't always feel as effective as they could have been. Sometimes it was because you stumbled with your use of punctuation, and failed to give your conversations the breaks and pauses of actual human speech, but more often it felt as if you hadn't quite got the hang of setting your cast apart from one another. I did get the sense these people had different personalities, and that you had a fairly good grasp of what you wanted these personalities to be, but a lot of the time I couldn't see much appreciable difference between the way you had, say, Carys deliver a speech and the way I imagined Joel would deliver that same speech based on how you'd already written his voice. The basic sentiments you were getting them to convey were fine; I really liked the back and forth between Carys and Joel later on in particular. But the way you'd got them down on the page didn't yet feel as much like a real conversation as it could have done, and a little too much like a speech delivered from a soapbox about how teenagers ought to treat each other as opposed to the reality.

Still, despite all that negativity, I did really like this, and I'm going to make space for it on my list. I do feel it's got a lot of promise and while I wouldn't shelve it based on this I'm very interested to see what you do with it, both in terms of getting it polished and where you take the story. There are a lot of emotional subtexts, themes and thought-provoking elements I found really gratifying - not to mention on a more immediate level you managed to get me curious as to what happens next. Hopefully something I've said proves useful to you, and good luck with the book all the same.

Hey,

Thanks for that! I've gone over and edited the pitch, is there any chance you could have a quick Gandalf? I've added u to my WL.

Thanks. Your right; it needs polishing. The reason it's in bold though is so I can stress other words with italics without being confusing, and also so I can clearly voice the thoughts of other characters. Will get to your novel tonight or tomorrow. Thanks again for honest feedback.

Hey,

It is a novel, the style in which I've formatted the chapters though are perhaps a little misleading. Thanks, and I'll update chapters soon and get back to your own material asap!

This is interesting, definitely unique, is it a novel or a screenplay?

I couldn't find any nits, your premise promises much.

I'll need to read further to see if it lives up to it.

Backing this for its potential

Melxx

You've written this as for a TV series, but I can't see how it would be suitable, with the 'thinking' part you've put in bold-face. As a written story, it's promising, though I would definitely change the bold-face to italics, or maybe nothing at all. It's written in first person, so if there's no inverted commas, ('talking marks') it can be assumed he's thinking. There are a few minor errors, indicating that it needs a really good edit. I think you have the beginnings of a really good story here, and wish you luck with it.

Hi Alex, On the whole I quite enjoyed what I've read so far. However, it seemed at times that the story wasn't moving quickly enough. I think that people need something to happen almost immediately. For me, it seemed okay, but I can imagine an editor telling you to cut out some of the dialogue. Maybe I'm wrong (I don't know the business and don't pretent to). I'll read some more later and get back to you. All the best. Gerry

Seems you're onto a good thing. This took my
attention straight away. Well done
and on my shelf...No errors found
mikegilli The Free

Like the way you have a question end the short pitch. Think the long pitch can be better. Too long. Break it up into smaller paragraphs. Being Authonomy's #1 commentator, trust me, spend some time on your pitches; I cannot overemphasize how you need to master this basic sales technique to grab the casual reader. That's how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

This is an interesting story. All of us wish we could read minds at some point. This is a good take on the old saying, "Be careful what you wish for. It might come true." Joel is a sympathetic character. Your writing style is crisp and always pushes a story forward. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

You have a real talent for writing! Well crafted so far and certainly a compelling read! I think Young Adults will love this as well! BACKED with pleasure!

Liz
The Cheech Room