Who Got the Meat Came Off Them Bones?

Hi William,

A great and clever story with no errors spotted in the section I've had time to read.

One thing, though - I'd try to think of a shorter title.

Ron

i really like this book, so i am backing it again!
j

Hello William,

Read the first two chapters. A good read. Happy to back.

N.Lalit ( Siren )

You can write, no question there. The dialogue is strong, as is the characterisation. My main problem with it is that there's a tad too much talking, and less urgency than there probably should be. It's all good, it just needs some judicious editting and a switch to a higher gear.

Aside from that, it's a refreshing read - nice to have a social worker as the hero rather than a cop.

Backed.

Marcus.

William - Who got the meat came off those bones is quirkly, unusual and well written. There are so many good books around but yours is definitely different - will go far I feel sure. Backed by Valerie (Freckles the Fawn.)

Who Got the Meat Came Off Those Bones - An intriguing plot to this thriller that definitely has mysterious overtones. The first chapter is polished and well-written.

Best of luck to you!
:-)Summer D'Vine, Women of the Trees

Hi William, Who got the Meat Come off Them Bones
A great start to a really good thriller.I liked the way you build the story's suspense.
I also like the way you put riddles into the story.... it takes a lot to keep a readers interest and this certainly does it.I like the lessons that you teach along the way. This is a very original and highly imaginative story. I do not critique on sentence structure, punctuation or the like. I write poetry and that is my downfall.
Best of luck with moving towards the Desk
Njoy *moods and expressions*

Thank you so much for the kind and gracious remarks about my story. It means a lot to me that yu took the time to read and comment on the content.

Sincerely,

Will

P.S. See you at the ED.

Who got the meat . . .
This is a well written story
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Hi William, Who got the Meat Come off Them Bones
A great start to a really good thriller.I liked the way you build the story's suspense.
I also like the way you put riddles into the story.... it takes a lot to keep a readers interest and this certainly does it.I like the lessons that you teach along the way. This is a very original and highly imaginative story. I do not critique on sentence structure, punctuation or the like. I write poetry and that is my downfall.
Best of luck with moving towards the Desk
Njoy *moods and expressions*

I read all 7 chapters. It is so well done. The riddle makes it offbeat, but easy to follow.
You've done a fine job in telling this story.

Great pitch and well written.
Backed with pleasure.

Dawn
Sammy and the Wise Willow

I quite like the catchy sayings you use to head each chapter. 6 is particularly true and not much quoted. of course the opening ignores the most obvious way of dealing with such a woman: ignore her. That chapter labours its dialogue, but the book as a whole, so far, has many intriguing elements. Backed
Lara
Good for Him

It is an accumulation of widely divergent subjects and cultures that strangely come together to form a coherent and very interesting world. I feel like I am walking down a street that is 13.6 degrees out of kilter (in a disturbing yet interesting way); it draws me in to learn more. Very original.

Both the pitch & the first chapter are really original & intriguing. They grabbed my attention successfully. Chapters 2 & 3 get the plot moving while introducing more characters with professional, confident writing. Welcome on my shelf. Tim (Vitality)

I think you slow the first chapter down with too much 'thinking' - I would cut a lot of the inner questions and monologue and just have the phone conversation playing it. The fact he knows the caller can be fed to the reader through the dialogue. In chapter 2, I wasn't keen on the dialect - it was almost too cliched (black boy made good, but rough around the edges), and how is it both characters are so literary (to me this is the author's knowledge coming through). In the final part of chap 2, you switch POV to a family scene (but again the literary and film references make me question the authenticity). In terms of the plot, have to admit I am not buying he wouldn't immediately phone the police, a child's life is at stake and he is social worker not a detective so I think you need to make his reasons stronger (maybe the police won't listen to him for some reason). Jake

William. An interesting story line. As long as you keep the pace of the story fast, you will keep the reader wanting more. But with this type of book where 'things are revealed', it can be hard to keep up. An author friend of mine told me that recently. So I have passed it on to you. All the best. I will back it genuinely however.
Any comments / backing of my childrens' book would be great.
Jerry [paperbat]

Love the first chapter of Little Krisma. The writing is superb, the conversation realistic and the sense of place realistic. The conversation kept me enthralled. Wonderful writing. I'm backing this with pleasure.

Did I get this by mistake?

Sincerely,

Will

Love the first chapter of Little Krisma. The writing is superb, the conversation realistic and the sense of place realistic. The conversation kept me enthralled. Wonderful writing. I'm backing this with pleasure.

An interesting read quirky enough to keep the reader guessing and and certainly full of fascinating imagery.

BEST WISHES AND BACKED WITH PLEASURE
Richard

Dear William,
This is strangely confusing but I am totally intrigued by your writing. It's a quirky, off beat, out of tune madness, like Alice and the Mad Hatter. So weird - I like it!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

From the title on its effective in grabbing the readers attention. Highly original and inventive thriller.
Jane

Plenty of raw excitement, well written, easily BACKED.

Frank James (The Contractor)

Edgy. Exciting. This is an engaging thriller with fascinating characters. Wonderful imagery. Sparkling dialogue. A pleasure to read. Backed.

An e xciting, thrilling tale well told. I was well hooked from the beginning and even though I knew the ending was not printed, I foolishly read the whole thing!! O.K., so when and how can I read the ending? Answer? When it's published. I hope that will be soon. I lliked all the characters and the plot.

Cheers and Buena Suerte
Bibbee
Kali's Daughters P.S. And the title!

There’s the occasional book on here that doesn’t quickly try your patience with descriptions of how the sun fell on the fields or how the murderer shifted in the shadows; that doesn’t in other words have you desperately groping for something nice to say about it, that you simply read and enjoy like a book you’ve chosen to buy. I skated through three chapters of Who Got the Meat that Came Off Them Bones with sheer pleasure.

Fabulous read. I really enjoyed this.

William,

My wife is also my ideal reader.

Great off beat pitch. The only false note, for me, was the use of the word 'allows' in the passage:

The old, cold voice at the other end of the line allows that he has been chosen to save the life of [an] a child by solving a series of a riddles.

(There's also a redundant word there I didn't notice in reading, only in copying the passage.)

I read the first chapter, and it's a great start, grabbing the attention from the get go.

One though, though was the way you handle interior dialogue, Darce's thoughts and observations are well done, but occasionally I felt that they butter awkwardly against the third person narrative. Sometimes all that would be required would be a paragraph break, but given the extent of the thoughts I wondered if you'd considered writing this in first person?

Anyway, an engaging and wry thriller that I'm happy to back.

05 August 2010
Who Got The Meat Came Off Them Bones provides an engrossing and intelligent read. The piece is full of intriguing throwaway lines that hook and hold such as 'female but not feminine', the smooth implication of the body swerve in the 'Not since I've been sitting here ' answer, and why do I keep thinking Darth Vader whenever the protagonist is mentioned. Competent and enthralling story telling. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

Man did this book suck me in! But then again i love riddles ( i spent hours playing myst and the zork series). I love the way you write and would love to see this book in print.

Just one little thing tho the original one line hook that drew me was about being smart means knowing the things that your dumb at. For me that hook worked much better. It's the reason i shelved the book in the first place.

Backed with pleasure!

Andrew Monk

A great hook at the start of the story draws the reader to the whacky premise, preposterous plot and twisted sense of humour. Great dialogue of the deranged and the jaded but a bit protracted for my taste. Both phone calls with which the story begins could be cut to about half without losing much substance. More than once I found myself thinking “this is all clever and funny but I get, already, let us get on with the action!” Nevertheless you do a great job of convincing the reader that there is more to this story than meets the eye (or the ear, listening to the deranged aunt).

Backed with pleasure

A.P. Constantin
The Crystal Butterfly Club
(a book that also starts with a riddle)

I like the concept of this, and the little touches like Darce looking frantically for a pen when he gets the phone call. I found myself trying to solve the riddles along with him, and that makes a fabulous hook for the reader. Backed.

I'll repeat a question because I like riddles. I like this work too. Backed. Chuck

William, I have some interest in Theban legend so your first chapter offered some interest. Just by the way, you may or may not be aware that there is an archaeological report to the effect there was a palace at Thebes dating to the period of the House of Laertes. As a result and after much research I'm no longer sure Oedipus was a myth but probably a symbolic figure of some horror that happened in Thebes.

I'm prone to digression as you'll see in my book so I apologise.

Back to you.

I want to believe in your story but a question kept intruding on my reading - why is this man engaging with this woman in the middle of the night rather than telling her to buzz off and ring in business hours?

Answer that for me in the ms and I'll read the lot. I'm also a lawyer so the family law material rings true. I'm backing your book for its potential.

All the very best.

T.L.B.
Bleak House Bleak Shed.

You adeptly included background information in Chapter 1 without slowing the headlong plunge of the storyline. The characters are memorable, especially Millicent, and the suspense ends with the desire to read more than the first chapter. I was surprised by this. The title is rather quirky, but the narrative is very readable.

As a middle school teacher, here's a riddle:
Why do some people have big nostrils?

Big fingers!

Tom Kepler
The Stone Dragon
Love Ya Like a Sister

(Have you had the chance to look at both?)

Also, been blogging for a year now: http://www.tomkeplerswritingblog.com/

Backed yesterday and reading more today. The riddles are a great way to begin your tale. Different than other novels I have read so far on Authonomy.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Thank you for commenting. Your kind words were very encouraging. I know I backed your story but did I comment?

Sincerely,

Will

Backed yesterday and reading more today. The riddles are a great way to begin your tale. Different than other novels I have read so far on Authonomy.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Hi William

What a clever chilling idea - riddles like in the Lord of the Rings, but with terrifyingly high stakes. Backed.

Nicole (Chosen)

A fascinating story, very well told, with excellent dialogue. The only quibble I would have - and it is a minor quibble, when set against what I would regard as potentially an excellent book - is with the two pitches, which may be a little too convoluted for the casual reader, picking a book up from a bookstand. I can see what you are trying to convey but something a little simpler and in keeping with the style and content of the book itself might be worth thinking about. But very well done anyway.

Philip John (Dead reckoning/The Ambassador's Last Post)

Dear William B. Naylor,

The title Who Got the Meat Came Off Them Bones drew me in by its humor, but this is a mystery. I read the first chapter and now ask how could anyone love a daffy dangerous dame like Milli? Suffer her? Yes, indeed, she'd be a real nusiance. Or, turn her into art? That's an idea I like. Cast her in plaster? Turn her into a performance piece? Now, I am curious, so I'll have to read on, you sly dog.

Yep, my husband, a saintly dude, helped and continues to read, listen, read, and listen to all the Authonomy stories now.

Backed and best wishes.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School
(Please have a look.)

This book would sing off the page if you told the story in first person present tense (past would do) with main character's first-hand thoughts italicized. Backing based on strong writing, effective dialogue, and great potential.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Thank you Memphisgirl, for the generous remarks. I don't think the backing came through - all I saw was the comment message.

I am very interested in talking some more about your intriguing suggestion but first I need to make sure I've commented on your story.

Sincerely,

Will

This book would sing off the page if you told the story in first person present tense (past would do) with main character's first-hand thoughts italicized. Backing based on strong writing, effective dialogue, and great potential.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Wow! This is so original and SO well written. Congratulations - I hope this goes far. Jayne

This is truly intelligent, witty and, yes! heartfelt -surprise, surprise - mystery. A page turner, that one wants to go back to for its humor, warmth, and elegance.

Superb writing! This book really stands out. My highest complements to you and your wife (for giving you so much support and motivation to write this fine work).

Backed with the utmost pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

William, nice one! accomplished prose, cracking pace. and the storyline ain't bad - it's great. captured me right away. nice inclusion of mythology.
on my shelf.
when i like something, i try to pass on any edits i see. picky crap ;)
pls ignore if they make no sense.

here's a few VERY minor thoughts about your pitch:
"mid night" - "midnight"
"... along with some dry wit, intelligent twists..." - "... along with dry wit, intelligent twists ..."

ch 1:
"long legged DQ - "long-legged"

ok, enough picky crap. this is a jewel.
very best wishes, andy

This is really good - pacy, intelligent and with some great characters. I think it should do well.

I've only had time to read 3 chapters but the mystery (or mysteries) is shaping up well. Not sure where the story of little Alex fits in, but I'm sure that will be made clear in time.

I wish you luck with it. Backed.
Cheers
Elaine (Zitheron)

A fabulous book, well written, with enough riddles to keep anyone glued to the page, and looking for more. The plot unfolds at a good pace; for every question answered more arise. Backed with pleasure!

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

I like the way you have incorporated the riddles into your opening chapter - a kind of hook. Your writing flows well and I love the story of Oedipus anyway, so you've got me hooked.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

A witty, tricky story that is highly entertaining! Great writing style. You cover art is eye catching and your pitch is well done!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe
Would you please take a look at my book, MEMORIES OF GLORY? I would greatly appreciate your support.

"A quality reading experience"-I think you sell yourself and the thing that stands out to me most is the humor in this piece ( I didn't really expect if from your pitch...I am not a pitch doctor but be cocky in that son of a....)and the good fluid writing...glad I picked this one up. Peace, Steven Rineer (Technicolor Eulogies)

William,

I've just read your highly original and hugely readable opening chapter. There's a real immediacy to your writing, drawing the reader straight into your story. Backed. And I hope to dip back in when I have more time.

Regards

NA 'A Red Sky in Morning' & 'Tales of Ordinary Sadness'