DUMMIES FOR DATING: A Book About Character Defects

Love that last line in CH7 Tidy bowl man. You mst be a saint to put up with all those MR. Un-desirables.I can see you're a very caring and compassionate person, who like so many women fall into that bottomless pit of jerks out there. Will definately continue to read this funny, yet engaging story!
Cheers, Michelle

Hello Michelle:

I read the first seven chapters of DUMMIES FOR DATING and thoroughly enjoyed each story. Your writing is ridiculously funny and delightfully entertaining, while often highlighting your own grace and patience with what is often a truly weaker sex.

You have an instant audience which whom the anecdotes will resonate and the hook that keeps them reading is that there is always a punchline coming.

I don't have to wish you great success because I think that that is inevitable with this book.

James

This is laugh-out-loud funny. One of the most enjoyable reads I've had in a while. Lots of stars for you.

Melanie
La Vie en Rosé

I love the title! I read the first 6 chapters with ease, witty and fluent writing. It at time feels fast paced, coming to England and meeting Joe happening quickly... like a diary but faster.
I would be keen to know if any men lasted more than a chapter or two later on, so will return!

Jo

Lexi's Place

A wonderful and entertaining book that shows that you have a natural flare for writing and know that how to amuse readers and how to engage them in the situation. An excellent and fabulous work. Highly starred.

Very funny! My book is pretty similar to yours as I have an internet dating section in my book. Two chapters called "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves". I gave them all a name and they were all disastrous!! I've given you some stars and so would be really grateful if you could read some of my book too. Best wishes, Ruth

Love that last line in CH7 Tidy bowl man. You mst be a saint to put up with all those MR. Un-desirables.I can see you're a very caring and compassionate person, who like so many women fall into that bottomless pit of jerks out there. Will definately continue to read this funny, yet engaging story!
Cheers, Michelle

What an absolutely wonderful book. "The curse of Scott" As a woman, I am sure we have all had one just like your Scott. The writing is engaging and the descriptions as you read on are bang on. I can not find anything negeative about the book. Well done! Red

How can I not continue reading after the end of Chapter 1? You had me hooked! The story moves at a fast and exciting pace. The writer's voice is powerful and is spoken with such honesty - not to mention humour. A thoroughly enjoyable read; highly starred by me.
Maria (Georgina's Family)

Michelle,

I read three chapters, quite good going for me!
The first chapter had me enthralled and a clever hook at its conclusion saw me reeled into chapter two. Again, enjoyment of your story (not your pains) was what kept me reading.

The narrative is light and playful. The story, not so much a story as a collection of experiences, lacks dialogue, but is not diminished by its absense. Your failure to find the soul-mate and lover you desired is to our benefit.

Just one sentence in all three chapters left me a little uncomfortable: "...my story isn’t meant to be a put down a whole race of men..." would this be better as "...my story isn’t meant to put down a whole race of men..." or possibly "...my story isn’t meant to be a put down to a whole race of men..." - just some ideas.

5 stars coming your way.
Best wishes
Warrick

I loved Chapter 17, and clearly ALL ROADS SHOULD LEAD AWAY FROM THAT GUY. Reaading on and reliving myself before I finally met the man of my life who prefered I be the chatter box!lol
Josphine
Notime goes bye

Michelle, I smiled and giggled through the first five chapters! What a delightful, enjoyable, funny read :) Super hook in chapter 1, so I kept going. You had me. Chapter 2 - the curse of Scott, the gawky lad with a magnificent personality and won't do any better :) Chapter 3 as you discovered imperfections are trans-global and your collage of comical circus connections. Chapter 4 when the brit Joe punctured your little fantasy like a balloon and you had no paddle to cross the pond. Chapter 5's American Thanksgiving tradition "as broken as a roasted wing." So...how did David -- the Christmas turkey -- taste anyway?

Beautiful writing. Smooth. Hilarious. Absolutely wonderful!
T. Donna Robison
P.S. Although a different tone, I would be deeply appreciative if you would have a look at my book No Kiss Good-bye. Thanks so much and best wishes!

Hello Michelle:

I read the first seven chapters of DUMMIES FOR DATING and thoroughly enjoyed each story. Your writing is ridiculously funny and delightfully entertaining, while often highlighting your own grace and patience with what is often a truly weaker sex.

You have an instant audience which whom the anecdotes will resonate and the hook that keeps them reading is that there is always a punchline coming.

I don't have to wish you great success because I think that that is inevitable with this book.

James

Yes ... well ... it's brilliant ... backed. This is so good. Little Brother's voice is perfect, and the Curse of Scott, and Alfred. Ha!

Hello Michelle , I have very much enjoyed reading your enormously entertaining book , partly because I have had my own decidedly mixed experience of romance via the Internet , indeed on one occasion with a lady from the US , from Texas, which knocked me out - we're on hold at the moment , but you never know - as the Internet Dater said to the serial rapist. I am so sorry that you have not had much luck , as you seem to be a nice,kind person with a good line in self-deprecation - an attractive attribute . But honestly I really think this book could do very well , not only because of the subject , but also because it is extremely well written . I was wondering if it would be at all possible if you could read the first chapter of my novel 'A Buccaneer' which is an historical/adventure romance set in the 17th century , it includes lost love , the Great Plague of London , Sir Henry Morgan ,a five handed duel , beautiful Spanish ladies and much more,backed, best wishes Strachan Gordon - greetings from London.

good book, written well..interesting, and easy to read...
backed...
read SEASONS...

enjoyable read...
j
what every woman should know

Hello Michelle-
book- Dummies for dating-

what an eye catching cover, so bright- I can see eager hands clutching
it from the racks already- this book is in my mind a sure best seller-
with so many people out there looking for companion ship and love
and more-
I loved the stories- in fact the pages just flew by, i was so intrigued
and at times chuckling to myself- this is a delightful, just the tonic for dull days-
highly recommended
tom b ye
book -from hugs to kisses;
oblige Michelle and glance at some of my stories-
you might like chapters 38 and 41

Ok... Chapter 20... 15th paragraph... Please change "waste" to "waist" !!

Chapter 15... I was touched.... Really love your work! Glad that I started reading it.. Shelved! :)

Hi Michelle

Will definitively have a nose through this as I have a few spaces on my book shelf and WL. Would you be so kind as to have a quick look at my book - The List. Feel free to leave a comment.
ta very much.

David J Baron

Although I'm far too old to try cyber dating-and I doubt that my husband would approve, I love your stories to bits. Dummies for Dating is an excellent read. It is also highly starred and on my watchlist awaiting promotion. yours Bea

Michelle. Cyber dating - I love it, it's packed with fabulous stories, frothy and fun. Pinky and most definitely Perky with off the cuff characters Naughty and nice! It's got the lot.
High stars and to be backed.
Kat x

ps Hens From Hell is #6. If you've got time, I'd love you to take a peek and offer support if you can sometime.

Boy, am I ever glad I came across this book, I never tried the internet dating, but I can imagine it's not much different than phone or, any other form of fix you up with someone out there dating. I'll be reading this just to see what I'm not missiing. Great and so entertaining.

Many congraulations on this very clever and remakable story. Very entertaining and your writing is imaginative and easy to read.
Lovely!

Best

Witty, clever, droll. Very easy reading. Perfect airport book. Good luck with this. The Tails of Willie Gusty

Capitalize 'Internet.' Other than that, this is a captivating comedic story. Masterful imagery. Colorful, complex characters. Realistic conversations. Excellent sense of pace. Illuminating narrative. Brilliant comedy. Surefooted, accomplished writing. An impressive read. Backed.

Wow, this is funny and keeps you moving right along. Love it...very funny and have dated online, am doing it a bit now. Pathetic, I know, but how do you meet people? It's hard. Your stories are funny and your wit an writing style are evident. I, too, seem to have an affinity for Brits!

Happily Backed
Denise

Would you take a peek at "Road to Redemption: From Cop's Daughter to Convicted Felon?"

Hi Michelle,

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
The Mental Pause

Dear MIchelee

I have started to read your writing and must say that it is compelling. Already you have established your animated characters in my head, ( they are not leaving soon) and i feel strongly to back your book now. such talent you have to create a compelling read for me. I also believe your long pitch sells your book well. I do wish to be part of your climb to the top on this site. CONGRATS and I will comment more as I read more.

Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE
Denise
The Letter

You are totally fantastic, Michelle! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoir book?
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

DUMMIES FOR DATING - A BOOK ABOUT CHARACTER DEFECTS by Michelle Faber.

Michelle - The business of matchmaking interests me, though I have noticed that matchmakers in Ireland, where I live, are hardly ever married. There has to be a reason for that. I dabble in the art myself. I confess to mischievously matching up couples in a weekly magazine available in the shops here. I link the box numbers and cross refer the posted CVs and mail them off anonomously. Great fun: like your book. It should be available on The National Health. Laughter is the best medicine. The Prescription comes under tonics and would be for tickling the ribs, twinkling the eyes, belly laughs, being in stitches, laughing 'til you cry... and so on. I didn't read all the 24 Chapters posted but with a litle minor surgery of the non cosmetic sort, people - in droves - will be giggling their way out of the bookstores clutching your matchless book. You will be laughing your way to the bank. Everyone's happy. Backed.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

Just picked this up and realised I've read it before, don't know how I could have forgotten that fab cover, put it down to the hundreds I've looked at here over the last few months!
Still funny, fab and an absolute tonic, many thanks, Maggie P

You certainly have picked some fine ones, based on Big Bro obsessed Joe and cheapskate David at least! Your style settled me in immediately and I could happily sit down and read this all evening. Backed.

DUMMIES FOR DATING

Dear Michelle,

When I read the title and pitch I though, good idea for Chick Lit but it depends on how it is done.

You impressed me with your description of the Curse of Scott. It shows that you are willing to look deeper than the predictable to describe your story. It is your unique story after reflection and it's well nuanced explanation makes the book worth reading.

Well done girl. It sits on my bookshelf with my other Dummies books.
I await your next book Dummies for Publishing.

A Zoomer
Going Out in Style

Illuminating and very amusing.
Backed with pleasure! Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further possible backing of your book
Could you also have a read (if you haven't done so) of 'Moonbeam Highway' by Tim Chambers, a wonderful book that at present sits on the Ed's desk.

This is not the normal kind of thing I'd pick up to read, and I would be missing out. This is original, funny and thoroughly engaging.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

DUMMIES FOR DATING

[return backing ☼☼☼]

Your book is not really one for me, but I can see how it would appeal. I was a bit perplexed to see that the first chapter contained all that was in the pitch, but then I don’t see how else you can start this. It’s a simple concept, recount your internet dating disasters. That’s it. No more, no less. Like it or not. Your writing is good and your narration detached and somewhat critical, both of yourself and your suitors. I did like the “curse of Scott.” Poor Scott, he tried so hard. Couldn’t you get his teeth fixed, take him to the gym and buy him some anti dandruff shampoo? We’ve all made that mistake! You do make certain errors in your writing, not so many, but they do yell out at me, but none so much as this one sentence:

“On his dark hair belied a head so full of dandruff that it draped all over his shoulders.” Ouch! This tried way too hard. Where do I start? His head can’t be “on” his hair, it’s the other way around. Hair could “drape” his shoulders, but dandruff falls from the hair forming layers, or encrusting his shoulders, it doesn’t drape them. Belie: “1. To give a false representation to; misrepresent: "He spoke roughly in order to belie his air of gentility" (James Joyce). 2. To show to be false; contradict: Their laughter belied their outward grief.” (online dictionary) If you are saying his hair is so dark it hides the dandruff, then cut the initial “On”. However I find dark black hair shows dandruff up very clearly, so the initial premise doesn’t even work.
Anyhow, I read to the end of chapter two and I am going to back this. It will have an appeal. I just hope there are some episodes that are more outrageous and funny than the first two I read. If not, make them up! One thought as I wrap this up, could you discuss your escapades with a girlfriend in the US? That might provide some useful counterpoint and an opportunity for some needed dialogue.

Thank you for backing my book.

FUNNY!!! FUNNY!!! FUNNY!!! And painfully familiar, but that's a whole other story!! Love it!!

Dummies for Dating

Great title!!!
There is more to this at times very, very funny book. The truth rings out of this and creates great introspection, showing a great sign of depth in what at times appears light hearted. This is an absolutely great book, one I have very much enjoyed – Thanks!!!

DUMMIES FOR DATING; A Book About Character Defects:

Michelle Faber,

Chapter 1 is a fascinating mixture of what seems, at first, tragedy and comedy. When we learn of the 'sweet' but physically 'repulsive' and even odorous Scott, I found myself doing a quick spot check on my own foibles in case a red light started flashing to say 'Yes, you too'. Mercifully, I think I survived inspection, and yet beneath the slightly amusing disection of Scott, there is an underlying, almost unspoken, sadness and a sense of the cruel elusiveness of true romance for the writer.
The latter may be an experience which most of us have had from time to time, but usually the disillusionment one day becomes the joy of companionship, depth of friendship and - as much a bonus as an absolute imperative - the ecstasy of sexual union to bind more intensely the friendship between 'soul partners'
The sense of guilt over the physical repulsion is almost palpable and I can feel the tension between on the one hand not wanting to hurt Scott and on the other the physical revulsion at the prospect of sex with him, the whole complex compounded by the fact that others - who didn't have to regularly share a bed with him - could only sing his praises as the nice guy he otherwise was.
Candid, prose clear; because carried by the sincerity and urgency of the message, overall a revelation and a contribution which will be yet more interesting against the background of what computer dating might/might not deliver.
As you say, many of the dates would lead to fulfilling friendships and/or marriages but there is also heartache in cyber territory.

Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

I predict big things for Dummies for Dating: it is a remarkable true life tale about the frustrations and humour of internet dating : this is very well done and completely compelling.. you have a mastery of the written word and your style just lends itself to this amazing story.. Backed and best wishes!

Dear Michelle, I love your humor in "men" - 6 marriages in my memoir - can there be anything worse - I found out that each one was still a little boy in a man's body & needed a mommy rather than a wife. Your book is fantastic. :) You prepared me to read your book with your excellent hook before your story. It is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version, "Tell Me True Love Stories" which at the end tells my illness now/6th abusive marriage I'm in now. Thanks, Susie :)

Hi Michelle, The Curse of Scott really pulled me in and when you consider that women once married their first loves or at the first opportunity. The relationship with Joe was entertaining and the issues were well-described. It also shows how people can have more direct conversation over the internet. I liked the part about the visit though, an exciting switch into real life. You’ve selected key scenes and conversations, keeping my attention. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Entertaining, and amusing. I just can't imagine this sort of light memoir keeping my interest for 93,000 words and counting. If you could cut it right back to around 55,000, you could easily find your market and a publisher. Well written, and without noticeable errors of grammar and spelling. Good luck with it. Marj.

lol...sad huh? yeah its true. Most women get a beau. I get a book. ;-)
michelle

Oh this is seriously funny, you had me giggling from the off. Is this really true? Backed with pleasure Maggie P.

OMG you could be talking about me. This is brilliant and it's nice to see I'm not the only single out there. I love the bit about Scott and that although he had a great personality you didn't fancy him. I had a similar situation myself and felt sick that after a evening of texting he sent me some photos and I too realised I found nothing attractive about him at all. Absolutely loved this. totally identified with it, hilarious and backed.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

Oh this is seriously funny, you had me giggling from the off. Is this really true? Backed with pleasure Maggie P.

Highly amusing.
After reading this I'm convinced internet dating is a frog pond. Somewhere in there one will turn into Prince Charming, but you're going to have to subject your lips to a lot of cold wet yuckiness until you hit the right frog.

Hi Michi,

I have read several chapters of your book. I was attracted to the subject as I have also done the internet dating and have met what I would call the worst of the male of the homo sapiens specimen. Yeah, many jerks... but when the jerk is a banker, trader, hedge fund manager... well... even worse!

Ok, based on that I enjoyed the reading. However, I think there are things missing I don't know if I misread but I didn't read a description of the main character early enough. I think it could be good if you could let give us a picture of the main character in the first chapter.

I also think that there is not enough dialogue sometimes and that you do a lot of what the people in writing call "narrative summary". Basically, this is the same to say that you could try to do more show don't tell.

Best

I love chic-lit. Oh I do. I'm a 47 year old heterosexual man who likes reading about adorable funny people with silly problems. I love it. You want to know why? Because my life (as is all middle-aged sandwich generation folks) is so goddamned stressfilled I don't need another thriller or fright. No. I want froth and fun. So I'll happily read something that breezes by and cools me down. This is breezy and fun.

You do have problems with it. You vacillate in your tenses. You need to fix that. It adds an atmosphere of unpolished to your prose.

And sometimes your dialogue lacks authenticity. Use dialogue to enhance your characterizations - using to advance the plot is lazy and a misstep.

Here's what you need to do:

Hear your prose aloud. Print your novel. Sit in a comfy chair. Have someone read your words to you. Do not follow along with your eyes. Your eyes have traveled the prose path so many times that your mind assumes clarity. So follow with your ears. You will hear every misstep of a badly chosen word. You’ll hear where the eye needs to rest and the mind needs to breathe. Stop. Have your reader circle the text and move on. This is particularly effective with dialogue. You’ll hear every word that does not fit into a human mouth.

Mark R. Trost
"Post Marked."

Hiya you cute thing...I would love luv me a good lookin' CEO...whatcha doin' tonite? ;-)