Book Jacket

 

rank 5463
word count 31755
date submitted 11.04.2010
date updated 16.04.2010
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Crime
classification: moderate
incomplete

Chelsea Rules - The story of an unremarkable girl who committed a remarkable offence

Donna Marie Snowden

Chelsea wanted to stand out from the crowd - be different. She finally did it. It's a shame somebody had to die in the process....

 

Chelsea Rules is the story of eighteen year old Chelsea Royle, a girl who stabs and kills her best friend. It's a shocking crime because it seems that Chelsea is a normal girl from a good home with no reason to do such a thing. For her crime, Chelsea is detained within a high secure hospital.

So why, with so much promise, does Chelsea throw it all away with one awful act of violence? It's true that Chelsea is a goth with a penchant for all things dark and gloomy. But that doesn't adds up to murder. And she hasn’t had a bad life. So why take a knife and stab her beloved friend twenty three times?

Eventually we see that Chelsea's life has not been the normal existence it first appears to be. She is a girl from a disturbed family with dysfunctional dynamics, well hidden by the fact that her parents are middle class professionals with money, good jobs and a very nice house. There is a hidden madness running through her family that impacts on her more than she realises. She is a sad and very lonely girl who nobody can understand until its way too late...

 
rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

 

tags

, alternative, gothic, murder, psychiatry, special hospital, women who kill

on 4 watchlists

38 comments

 

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

subscribe to comments for this book
Francesco wrote 722 days ago

A page turner...and I like prologues...but what do I know....
Backed with pleasure! Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further possible backing of your book

Michael Polansky wrote 735 days ago

Donna:
Read your prologue plus chapter 1. I liked what I read. One thing I want to tell you is about prologues.

I know authors use them but those are the established ones. Some of the writer's conferences that I attended mentioned agents don't really like prologues. Instead make chapter one a page turner. I don't remember why agents object to prologues except maybe weak beginnings. You don't have a weak beginning. I believe prologues give away part of the story. It's just a thought.

Thanks for backing referendum for murder.
Michael Polansky

Tiffini Johnson wrote 737 days ago

Though I'm sure it could be viewed as controversial, given that she DID commit the murder, despite the wealth of resaons we find, but it is an important issue that could provoke readers to actually paying attention to the "perfectly raised" families and see past the charm to the skeletons that lie beneath. Backed.

(and so sorry it took me a few days to get to this!)

Carrots wrote 738 days ago

This is strong stuff, and very disturbing. It explores territory rarely visited, and for that reason alone deserves to be backed.

Margaret Anthony wrote 740 days ago

I was totally absorbed by this. I'm a fan of prologues and this one didn't disappoint. I have read the first three chapters and whilst there is a fair amount of narrative,it didn't trouble me. Your reasoning is interesting and is so well written that lack of dialogue seems incidental.
What I would suggest, if I may, is perhaps dividing large lumps of narrative into smaller paragraphs would make it look less formidable to the reader.
That's just my thoughts. It in no way detracts from what I think is a very strong, intriguing story which I'm happy to back. Margaret.

Mooderino wrote 742 days ago

The writing is good, possibly you could break up the paragraphs a little, but overall it reads very well. The prologue and first chapter felt quite static. A lot of describing stuff and thinking about stuff but not much pace or momentum. What happens in those scenes is fine, you get across the situation nicely, but a lttle movement or physical action would help, imo. I think by (your) chapter two it gets going and I was more engaged. Happy to back.

eloraine wrote 742 days ago

Well written and creeped my out, good luck with it. Backed. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles boon one

nakiacap wrote 748 days ago

A well written Crime Novel caught my interest from the beginning

miko.priestess wrote 748 days ago

I really enjoy this so far - great intro. I'll be back for more.

toussaint wrote 752 days ago

Chelsea Rules

[Thank you for returning my backing. T. ☼☼☼☼☼]

I liked the sound of this one. And I like Chelsea’s ironic tone. I read up to the end of chapter four, and I can see the cracks just beginning to show as we learn more of the unremarkable girl who just happens to have killed her best friend. The prologue is shockingly matter of fact, but then that’s the whole point. For a topic like this, it was very amusing in places. Personal favourites were: “I wish she’d hurry up, because when she has worked it out, then she can tell me” and the list of songs for Women’s Night. I think for me something to be gained or lost, to generate conflict, would make it a more compelling read. Like the consequences of Chelsea getting “well”, would she be put back in prison? Then she would have a motive to try to stay there and not co operate with Kerry, or/and then what happens if she doesn’t co operate with her? Perhaps I didn’t read enough of it? I was carried along, though and I enjoyed reading it immensely.

I’m backing this and if you can find the time to take a look at Bokassa’s Last Apostle in return I’d be extremely grateful. Thanks.

Andrew Burans wrote 755 days ago

A finely crafted tale with an excellent exploration of inner angst and the phsycholigical turmoil of Kerry. Well done. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

klouholmes wrote 755 days ago

Hi Donna, Kerry’s psychological conversation with Chelsea is prodding and begins to answer the question of Chelsea’s murder. There’s suspense in the why of the murder since Chelsea’s POV is provocative and aware. Since her background wouldn’t indicate any personality aberrations, this is an intense inquiry and profiling from two sides, dialogue and POV. It’s fascinating and the interviews realistically written. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Linda Lou wrote 756 days ago

hullo Donna. I have finished seven chapters. I might say that you should check out your chaptering. I thought that the numbers didn't fit about ch. 4 or 5. See, I am confused. One other small thing could be to break up your story a bit more. When your events change, paragraph. Makes for an easier read and people will tend to read more.
Your story while it is complex boils down to the fact that psychopathology is all around us. It sometimes just takes one small push in the wrong direction. But, a great story which I will finish. already shelved and backed. Thanks for your look at mine. LLL

Famlavan wrote 757 days ago

Chelsea Rules

First let me apologies for the delay in commenting from my recent backing, time has been a big problem recently, anyway…
This is good, very good. I like how you open with what feels like a fluctuation between unemotional fact and the sense of wrong doing, it creates a feeling of her being unstable and drew me as a reader deeper into the story – Very good.
You have a style the almost creates a perfect image of Chelsea, very creepy, very, very well done!

Colin Normanshaw wrote 759 days ago

Great start to this, and your book cover and pitch are terrific. You might want to try a change of font on here as Times Roman is not easiest on the ey when reading off screen. Beware over-use of "had" in your work too. Otherwise I am more than happy to back this. Colin

zan wrote 759 days ago

Chelsea Rules - The story of an unremarkable girl who committed a remarkable offence
Donna Marie Snowden

This is good thriller/crime fiction Donna. I think much of it parallels real life so this is quite credible - and hugely interesting. When I read your pitches, I thought of the Menendez brothers who killed their parents, and another more recent case in which the son of a University Principal killed a friend by stabbing him as many times probably as your MC stabbed her best friend. The pressures placed on kids of successful middle class, professional or "elite" parents are often overwhelming. I love your book because it gives insights into these relevant issues. Poor Chelsea, wanting to stand out from the crowd - to be different. That's difficult to do - but, she finally did it - in such a horrendous manner, by killing her best frined. Your chapter one is a very good start. It's a bizarre one - this confession of your Mc - having killed her friend - she is an evil twin, and all she can do now is wait. She has made a bloody awful mess on the carpet. They have come for the dead girl, and for her now. For Chelsea, it's just the beginning of the end that she always knew was coming, and for that, she thinks she deserves to burn in Hell. Looking into the mind of Chelsea was a bit creepy. Good stuff so far and one of the better thrille/crime fiction pieces I've encountered here so far. No problem backing this.
Best,
Zan

A Knight wrote 760 days ago

Donna,

This is a very unusual premise, and I love how you've put it together. I found it very compelling, and backed it with pleasure.

Abi xxx

mikegilli wrote 761 days ago

A tremendous story.. really chilling, maybe morbid,
and fascinating.
Unusual premise we're attracted by curiosity to know why
and how the whole can of worms happened. I'd put in an early
flashback to Bronwyn alive.
Shelved with enthusiasm mikegilli The Free

Wilma1 wrote 761 days ago

Hi Donna
I have just finished reading your first four chapters. Chapter one was very engaging and very well crafted. The first person narrative makes it all the more shocking and we are desperate to know what happened. I think the next two chapters could have been a little shorter as the story doesent move on that much its more about Chelsea reflecting on her surroundings. It might be because you have some very long paragraphs and wading through such a lot of text can be hard going on the poor reader. I would have liked to have been introduced to her parents a little earlier on to give some extra dimention to the cast of charachters. These are just my observations. You have a really brilliant story here and I think with a little tweek here and there this could really go some where. I wish you the best of luck with it.
Sue
Knowinf Liam Riley

Strayer wrote 761 days ago

The story works. Can't get better than that. The 1st person prologue sets the tone beautifully.
Thank you for writing Chelsea Rules.

Carrigan34 wrote 762 days ago

This is really intriguing and I definitely want to learn more about Chelsea and how she got to this point in her life. I have only gotten to chapter 2, but I plan to read more. Thanks for sharing!

gillyflower wrote 763 days ago

You have an exciting, chilling pitch, and your first chapter takes us right into the heart of the action. As Chelsea sits on the floor watching her best friend Bronwyn bleed to death, she is unable to move, even to cover Bronwyn, although she realises that she'd like to. She is clearly traumatised, but her personality already shows clearly, for she can think only about herself, hardly at all about Bronwyn or her family, or the people she's hurt by what she's done. As you take us into the hospital and we meet Kerry, seen through Chelsea's eyes, you continue to show us Chelsea's self centred nature. She is convinced, or so she says, that she killed simply because she is bad. There are no reasons in her previous life. As she remembers her family history, the great grandparents who fled from Poland, she seems to be right, but she's told Kerry that she was always 'invisible,' and we want to know more about that. This is a fascinating, well written book, a compelling read. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Lockjaw Lipssealed wrote 763 days ago

This is actually quite good. Wasn't sure what to expect up front, but you shape the story very well and it's a really good story. Also, you can write. You know how to craft your narrative and it helps to make this flow better than most I've read here.

Good read!

Lockjaw

jfredlee wrote 764 days ago

Donna -

I'm sure you've heard this already, but I was hooked from your first paragraph.

Love how you wrote your MC so detached and ambivalent toward what she's just done.

Backed.

And I'd love it if you could take a look at my book.

Best of luck here.

Thanks.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

wvjazz56 wrote 764 days ago

Backed this on the pitch alone. Very well written. Best of luck to you. J.B. Reed Deadly Shamrocks

Raymond Nickford wrote 766 days ago

Chelsea Rules:

Donna,

What is perhaps most chilling about the opening chapter is that Chelsea seems so rational about the murder; able to take a cool, calculated appraisal of what she has done and it's this that can give your thriller depth as well as the grip of fear.
Then there is Chelsea's own admission that she could not control her urge to kill and we have a sense that she is not just disturbed but 'the evil twin'. This provides a shudder and begins to put your book within the realm of the psychological thriller. This is my own preference, over the medical, legal, spy or adventure thriller because it does provide such scope for exploration of a charcater outside social or psychological norms.
Your first chapter is almost conversational and it's again chilling to feel in the same room as she who has just killed - her best friend.
Interesting that Chelsea does seem to feel remorse - a variant of a psychopathic killer and raising the big question of whether she may, ultimately, be redeemable by the end of the novel.
For all of this, I wanted to read on.

Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

jfcincy wrote 766 days ago

Wow! This is fantastic! First-I loved the short pitch, and the long pitch was just as good. It really captures the premise of a whole book in a way that a reader can make a split decision to buy it or not. I think most would buy!
As for the premise, who doesn't know a good kid who went bad and wondered what the hell went on in that house! So, I'm hooked right there. Then we get to chapter one. Great opening. You put us right inside her head at the heat of the moment. No back story, just the act that brought us all here. Nice work!

Nitpicks
Long pitch: I'd leave out the last sentence of the 1st para and just concentrate on her and the act, not what happens later.
In the sentence that starts "But that doesn't adds . . " delete the 's' on adds.
In the 2nd para the sentence that starts "Eventually" Use "In Chelsea Rules, . . "

Good luck with this. You've really got something here.

Julie Farkas
Morning Call

Bocri wrote 768 days ago

I backed this based solely on the pitch and a superficial scan of the ensuing prose. On review of the offering I found it did not disappoint in any way. I was initially surprised by the choice of first person to relate the narrative but the strength of the delivery, and writing competence, soon dispelled any misgivings and I quickly recognised the validity of the choice. An unusual theme but none the less readable and the premise blossoms into a really satisfying read. Backed. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run.

soutexmex wrote 769 days ago

I backed this book a few days ago before the site started screwing up. Both of your pitches work and do indeed grab the casual reader whether here on this website or in a book shoppe. That's how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

soutexmex wrote 769 days ago

I backed this book a few days ago before the site started screwing up. Both of your pitches work and do indeed grab the casual reader whether here on this website or in a book shoppe. That's how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Andrew.C.Wilson wrote 770 days ago

Hello Donna Marie, I had to think long and hard about this book, several questions came to my mind about it but the one answer I kept coming up with is clever.
Is this an adult writing through a juvenile's eye's? Is this intensional? of course it is.
You seem to have an uncanny grip with the bazzar, where did that come from, imagination I hope?
really well done Donna Marie, I look forward to reading the rest, Kind regards Andy.W.

R.A. Battles wrote 770 days ago

Donna,

Happy to back you. Will you please split your full pitch into 3 or 4 paragraphs with a line of white space between each paragraph? Doing so will allow readers to follow your story's key plot points more easily.

Rodney

Melcom wrote 771 days ago

Great writing and the pace is really good. Chelsea is a very strong character. It's unusual to write a book in the present tense and in first person narrative, but you manage to pull it off.

In your long pitch I think that should be high security prison!!

Good work

Melxx

Burgio wrote 771 days ago

This is a dramatic story. You have a good heroine in Chelsea. She's likable and very sympathetic because she's done a terrible thing and there's no way she's not responsible for this. If I have a criticism, it's that your paragraphs are long. Remember that people glance through a book in bookstores to determine if if looks as if it will be an easy read. If they see long paragraphs, they think it's an intense rather than an easy read. And it would be a shame if someone passed this up over such a simple thing because it's a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

writingwildly wrote 772 days ago

Wow. Very haunting writing. This looks like a terrific book.
backed
Genevieve

Jim Darcy wrote 772 days ago

for a while I taught at a private school and there were lots of Chelsea's I'm afraid, poor little rich kids who wanted for nothing except, love attention and a real purpose in life. You write well and certainly pull the reader in, intrigued by your MC. Any particular relevance to the 23 stabs, other than Caesar, that I missed? Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

SusieGulick wrote 772 days ago

Dear Donna Maria, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed both of my books. Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "backed" & "commented" on your book, I came to your "comment" page to help it advance more. I will also put it on my "watchlist" to hopefully help it move up (everytime someone comments/backs my book, it moves up. Love, Susie :)

SusieGulick wrote 773 days ago

Dear Donna, I love fiction thriller because anything can happen - & does. :) Your line, "I deserve to burn in hell," we all do because we're all sinners, but that's why Jesus came to die, to save us - we only have to believe. I like that you have a prologue that prepared me for your story. It is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs (you may want to drastically cut the longer one into 2 or many more for an much easier enjoyable read, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)

1