The Glass Harmonica

This has a new twist to it.
Well written story.
Love the title.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

Hi Richard, was intrigued to read your book as I am married to a musician. The first chapter is very strong, the build up to Nate's suicide is well done, and I was eager to read the next chapter. Julia is sympathetically drawn, neurotic and brilliant, and I thought you described the atmosphere and drama of the concert beautifully. But, when I got to the next chapter, I found the courtroom conversation and the character of Gilda jarred; she did not have the same depth of character and seemed to speak in cliches. Miles is a likeable man but nowhere near as strongly pictured as Julia. I'll come back and read more later. Hope these comments are useful - Frances K

I like the concept of a concert pianist being heir to an old inheritance with a billion dollars, but honestly I don't know how that would have happen in the first place, slightly odd. But everything that goes into the story was very interesting and I hope it turnes out good for Julia, and you.

Dear Richard

I am intrigued by a book that has been here so long and is holding steady in the chart. Have you lost interest? If so, that would be rather a pity.

Your prose is straightforward, and apart from the occasional sortie into flowery fancy, rewarding and easy to read. I particularly enjoy your examination of the mind of the old man in chapter one and of your male characters. It is generally difficult to have an MC who is a woman, and I think you manage that aspect well, in Julia's unbalanced and fearful persona.

Your pacing is good, and I like the alternation in the action between London and the US.

All in all, a rewarding and interesting read. Rated!

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-)

Ch 2 It's apparent the author adores and understands music and this translates to the character who has little internal structure; no self-worth, self-pitying and neurotic, but who lives and breathes her avocation. At this point we have no understanding of what has brought her to this point, but the first two chapters have sketched out an interesting story. Well-written.

Ch 1 Intriguing. But I had to do some math in my head. Am man 90 years old who served in WWII would have been in his 30's or 40's I believe. And it made me wonder about the uniform of a marine and if it continues to be the same. Meadering thoughts, but it allowed me to stray from the story a bit.

Hi Richard,

Just time for the prologue and a couple of chapters before work but....now I want to call in sick! I love the expanse of the plot in the first chapters -from a concert pianist in London to a conflicted lawyer in California -and the quiet intrigue of how these stories will weave together builds beautifully. Your writing has such impressive shape, and you know when to apply rise and fall in action and in descriptive detail. For me, the start of the first chapter took a little while to get me into it - I think it was the literal nature of the language and there seemed to be a little too much explaining of actions and backstory. However, once the phonecall was made to Bernie, I got immersed in the plot and characters and the description of the concert was wonderful. The chapter introducing Miles was very enjoyable too - a nice sweep of his character and a great hook at the end. I noticed that your lawyer's family is called Bartholemew - I have a Patrick Bartholemew in my book! Sometimes the universe conspires....

I'll definitely be back to back and read more of this virtuoso piece
6 Stars

Kaal Kaczmarek

A couple of months ago, I visited Benjamin Franklin's house in Charing Cross. I'd never heard of a glass armonica, but there, on the top floor was a beautiful one and we were lucky enough to hear a demonstration and even have a go ourselves.
I had no idea that when it was first invented, it a direct competitor to the piano. The piano only won because it was a bit more difficult to break.
So, your title and concept jumped out at me. It's a good angle for a story and the writing seems to carry it along well. I haven't read as much as I'd like but hopefully I'll be back for more soon.

Good luck!
Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Have read the first 8 chapters and am stopping now only because my eyes are burning and I do have to consider catching a few hours sleep if I want to be able to function tomorrow. I am thoroughly enjoying The Glass Harmonica . The only "disappointment" I've experienced so far is in Chapter 7, when Julia plays her favourite Chopin Etude. I wanted to know which Etude: had you provided that information, I would have immediately checked it out on YouTube, just to see why it is her favourite Etude. But maybe that's just me... A truly entertaining novel.

Usually when I read books on Authonomy, I'm assuming I have to be looking for something to critique, and do. But the hell with critiquing this time -- I'm just letting myself enjoy your story!

i've suspected since I read your pitch that this was going to be good stuff and I was right! You draw us right into Julia's world; I'm right there with her walking out on the stage and feeling the nerves. I was a bit disappointed that it turned out be a dream, because that seemed cliché, but then again I think you make it work with her, since it's all part of her not being well... I skipped the prologue and have to say it pulls me in enough fine without it, which makes me wonder if you need it? But that's also such a cliché thing to say. Tiny nit: I think Bernie would say knock 'em dead, not knock them dead.You masterfully work in backstory too, and it doesn't feel forced - 'what have I got to show for it except...'. Really hopes this makes it so I can read a proper paperback copy - I would totally buy it.

I've just finished reading your novel. It isn't the kind of book I normally read, but I've enjoyed it and I'm impressed.
The plot works well, always drawing the reader on and often surprising.
You've chosen to write in a literary crime-fiction style. I think on the whole it's successful. As some comments suggest, it isn't an economical style and could potentially slow down the narrative. However, it doesn't seem to detract from the pace of the novel, perhaps because there is so much happening in terms of action and emotion.
I found that during your London-based episodes British vernacular crept into your narrative from time to time, weakening its effect. I found also that the crude language used by some characters, including Julia and some police officers, was overdone. Admittedly, Julia has a complex personality, but I felt this was a little out of place. The police offcers didn't come across as the (often well-educated) professionals they probably are. The character of the prosecuting attorney is, as I'm sure you intended, utterly obnoxious, but I thought she could have been more subtly obnoxious.
Nevertheless, I must congratulate you on producing an accomplished and very entertaining novel.

Michael Johnson

Just Making Sure (Felix Bradninch)

richard, i think your pitch is nearly flawless. i'd make a small tweak to edit out repetition.

Julia is an international concert pianist who is losing her nerve. But stage fright is the least of her problems.
Unknown to her, Julia is heir to an inheritance worth a billion dollars - enough to bankrupt America's oldest bank when the bequest it holds in trust matures.

Miles Bartholemew, of Bartholemew Equity and Trust, has to find the beneficiaries of the Franklin trust and deal with them permanently, before time runs out - or his family's bank will be ruined.

Ben Franklin's 200-year-old financial experiment sets Julia and Miles on a collision course which neither wants and neither can avoid. But the Franklin bequest contains another, deeper secret - one that could cost both of them their lives.

A murderous occult society has been waiting and watching in the shadows for two centuries for its moment to fulfil an ancient destiny by arranging fatal ‘accidents’ for all the beneficiaries of the Franklin bequest and claiming the prize.

With her own sanity in doubt and no allies to help her, Julia must find and confront the ruthless men and women who are out to destroy her.

i'll be back for chapters when i have more time. i also wanted to thank you for the long term backing.

Hi Richard,

This is a very fine piece of work indeed. You draw us into the story with such grace. The writing is clean and elegant. I read three chapters and was hooked. You have created that rarity - a la Dorothy L Sayers, perhaps - of literary fiction cum mystery. Bravo. My only quibble is that occasionally your word repetition is a bit dull, e.g. when you repeat the word familiar at the beginning of chapter two, and, in chapter one, frailty in the third paragraph and again in the fifth. But it's not that important. Oh and one more thing. Would the manager of a classical pianist also handle boy bands? Doesn't feel right to me, but maybe you know better.
I like this a lot and will give a very rare six stars and backing. I hope you can turn your attention to Animal Cracker and consider backing and rating it as well.
Best,
Andi

I've read the prologue and chapter 1. You have some really lovely passages in the last half of the chapter when you describe what she sees and feels while playing. Some of it is truly original and does capture some of the feel of what it's like to perform on the piano in front of an audience. In the prologue you have a classic thriller opening and it works well I think. You might consider in the first couple of paragraphs to consolidate it more. I would suggest you might cut out that it hadn't fit so well when he was middle age and fatter and just emphasize that it fit him as well as when he was standing on the deck of the Misouri in 1945. In the opening of the first chapter when she's dreaming you might consider going over that again and tightening it up too. You can eliminate the "she felt" and "she heard" and just and other excess writing. For example when you write "on the stage on which she would perform in just a moment or two ..." you can drop and just write On the stage the Steinway waited for her." Another place a little further on you say " she heard the stage manager whisper messages," you can drop the she heard (we assume she's hearing it) and just say "behind her the stage manager whispered...." These things help eliminate extra words that take away from the tension you're trying to build. You want it as crisp as possible with active words. No need for extra decoration or extra descriptive words. So in the area where you write about the applause she expects and then the silence, try to consolidate it into something like "Instead of a burst of applause there was only shcokced silence then a flurry of gasps folloowed by suppressed laughter that began in the front rows and spread like ripples...." These are only suggestions that can really improve the tension there. The only other thing you might consider is to drop most of your elipses. They aren't necessary, except in only one or two occasions that I could see. You've a very good premise here and it has all the elements so far that can make a good thriller. Kristin

Hi Richard,

A very well-written beginning. The prologue was unexpectedly gripping in a wonderful way - it lulled me with its pleasing use of language, and then it hooked me at the end. The description of her mastery at the piano was beautiful "enrapturing the audience in dizzying spirals of emotion, in an exquisite torture of their senses" - wonderful! The whole concert sequence is mesmerizing. The first chapter ends really well too, with just enough to keep us going. I'm excited to continue reading!

Nick Kotar
Raven Son

Hello Richard, I have read the first three chapters of your lovely story. Your writing is excellent and the hooks especially at the end of the first chapter really draw the reader on. I feel that this story should be published and I would buy it if it was in a bookshop. Your chracterisation is first class and I have no hesitation in adding it to my bookshelf tomorrow, when there will be room. I wish you every success with this. Starred Highly...
Could I ask you to take a look at either of my two stories on site, please: PAPER DREAMS or A PASSING STORM.

Best wishes to you

Phyllis

Good writing. It drew me along into the story to see why it was the old man's last day. There is a good hook woven into his inner thoughts. What is the family secret, and now that Maria hasn't posted the letter, what repercussions will there be.

'Maria hesitated to reasure the old man'. This is out of his pov. The best thing is to show her actions through his eyes.
'When he buttoned the midnight blue jacket' ... I thought he was dressed in his military uniform already. I don't understand this. Is he redressing?
The end of chapter is full of tension. Why didn't she post them? There must be a good explanation for that.

I'll back your book when space becomes available.

Francene. Still Rock Water.

Richard,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

What I like the most about your writing is the use of careful, methodic descriptions to paint the emotional map of your characters. That finely calibrated language, were every word seemed to have been chosen with surgical precision, all so that, rather than psychologizing, you let the I do this....I do that of your character show their emotional make up

...so kudos for you

Some of my favorites:

"he felt the wetness of a tear"

"the faintest of tremors"

"audible gasps"

"she dragged herself......"
that entire paragraph is your personal best so far....concrete, methodic, visually illuminated whose purpose is to to use description to paint a delicate emotional map.

'She had performed naked in Carnegie hill..."
mhhhh....like Maria Abramovic at the MOMA in NY
the use of naked dream as a way to metaphorise performance anxiety is the right one for that is what naked dreams.... mean

"their ivory faintly luminous"

'the red mist he usually kept in check"

Some Minor/Minorest/Minormost points:

"Looked up wearily" "tooting impatiently" "suddenly felt"
I would cut a bit on the modifiers
Why?
Because you are at your best when you use concrete, imagery based descriptions to paint your characters
and like Updike says: "the reader can fill in the blanks"

Let me know if that helps,

david

Richard,
Remarkable beginning. Great premise. I enjoy your clean, crisp prose. A very high standard here, as expected from your experience. I hope to reach such a standard. Always glad to find a musical novel (content and fine prose and tone). 6 stars! WL'd.
Regards,
John B Campbell (Walk to Paradise Garden)

As one should expect from your biography, this is a very professionally written book and there seems to be no reason why it shouldn't be published, other than the state of the market and the luck of the draw. For me personally, occult secret societies are a turn off because I subscribe to the cock-up rather than the conspiracy model of human history; however this is irrelevant since there is evidently a large market for books with this premiss and I'm not surprised at your ranking or your backings. You clearly know what you are doing and I don't think minor nit-picking comments would be of help.

I wish you luck

Jim

I don't know if it was your intension (or my views) but reading through I thought that this could make a good film. Thoroughly enjoyed what I read, good luck!!! Will, 5Hit Stories.

The Glass Harmonica

Hi Richard,
A great read this, had a feel of Inspector Morse about it, not in the Crime Fiction department, but in the gorgeous attention to detail and the lovingly constructed and very real characters. We are plunged straight into the story with a necessary and well placed prologue, rarely do I see a prologue that is necessary or justified but on both counts I think it does a good job of building intrigue early. Our flawed heroine pulls us nicely into the story, her character is strong, real, the reflection of her image in the car window offering us a tantalizingly look at her face, but in a way that still leaves much of what she looks like up to our imagination.

Strong beginning, this will receive my support soon, and a very high star rating.
Best wishes
Good luck
Andrew W
Benevolence

Just to let you know I've backed this. Comments below. Meant to say the title is great too.

Joanna

Richard, there is so much to love about this book. Well written tight prose, mystery and the unexpected - I did not expect Nathaniel to kill himself. Add to that the good cover and excellent premise and you've got a winner. Hope this gets published. It deserves to. On my watch list, but I've star ranked it.

Best wishes, Joanna

Dear Richard,
Brilliant premise, and a flawlessly constructed opening to a book that, I believe, will hold readers as Julia's life intersects with Miles. The prologue hits the ground running - and I had no idea what was about to happen to poor old Nate. The letters are the ideal hook. You introduced Julia very effectively as she went through the feelings and actions of going on stage to perform. Even before I realized she was having a very telling dream, I felt I understood her quandary of excitement and dread. She is an easy character to like, and this will have readers vested in her well-being. The book is polished nicely and has the feel of published novel. Bravo.

Lizzi
(Out of Sync)

Dear Richard,

One more thought. I realise that your first sentence is different from your pitch - but by mentioning the 'ruthless secret society' at the beginning you undermine the tension dramatically because the reader is already primed to look for suspects there. Could you make the danger less specific in the blurb while still showing Julia beset from all angles?

Margaret W

Bother you, Richard, I have spent the whole day reading this, all of it! I was driven to Google a few points, with success, and I did skim some but you must have had such fun both researching and writing. There is almost everything here, including a spangling of the occult, and you kept the plot twists coming with almost unbelievable frequency.

More soberly, I felt there are some flaws. I had qualms about the bank's liquidity limits. - I realise that there is a good deal of the spoof in this book, especially the way you portray the poor *?> policemen, but do you have a tame banker friend with whom you could discuss the figures you use? Given the figures mentioned in the credit crashes over these last two years those you use seem too low to be a threat. Your public may have become innured by sensational news items and be expecting the figures to be higher.

It may be significant that the parts I skimmed were the longish chunks of introspection by several of the characters. The length is about right for this type of book, but if you were asked to cut it, perhaps these might be the areas to look at.

Also there were a few scenes which I felt were overdone - the paintballing, for example, which almost tipped the story over into farce. I saw the reason for it later but at the time it was enough to pull me out of the headlong dash to wonder... and once you have lost hold of your reader you may not get him back again.

I also felt that in the last several chapters you asked for too much suspension of disbelief from your reader. The resolution of all those deaths really did tip into farce, and I am not sure that I managed to accept the transformation of Julia from sensitive artist riddled with stage fright into cool murderer.

The real test of a good book is the feeling of fulfilment you leave behind. I felt a little disappointed that the way you chose of tidying up of the threads did not live up to the outstanding creativity of the rest of the book. These chapters are also less well edited for script errors, so perhaps you are still working on them.

I shall leave The Glass Harmonica on my shelf for a bit - and will check to see if anything happens to it! Good luck.

Margaret Woodward: The Devil's Bairn

This novel tells us how jealously is dangerous. Spontaneous fortunes of a person may mostly make others rivals, and spontaneous misfortunes made them happier. In your novel you ratify this comment, because your heroine is a victim of jealousy mind of person. At any rate your style of narration and novelty of theme make sure a place for your place among other leading novels.

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

Dear Richard,

I was immediately attracted by your pitch and have put it on my - very new - shelf. When I get around to reading it I shall get back to you.

Margaret Woodward: The Devil's Bairn

A fascinating premise, which unfolds into thrilling story. There is enough intrigue here to make a great movie. The characters and plot are believable. A well polished piece with loads of potential. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Hi Richard,

this is a very strong commercial piece with strong visuals. I can't add to the comments below, but would love to hear a detailed description of the dress uniform that Nathaniel Bartholomew struggles into.

backed

Rob

GET LENIN

Hi Richard, Wanted to read more so I went to Chapter 6. Julia's character, her dubious attitude about her fame, brought me right in again and her ex's more scurrilous qualities. I noticed the "that's" in the paragraph "Hey, I caught you on TV..." - might do without them.
I really liked the description of Julia playing in the music shop and while the investigations of Miles and Charlie made me press on to Chapter 8, the introduction of the glass harmonica and Madame Dresden was really intriguing. A nice sense of place with these switches. Loved the mounting of the character motivations! Happy to shelve again - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Beautifully paced. I loved the first chapter.
Backed

Jenny
Loesick

Chapter 14
I like the variety of musical devices. Reading your book brought back memories from my childhood. My grandmother had a half-grand piano and a box underneath that played rolls of paper music with holes. I was fascinated listen to it as a child and watching the ‘ghostly fingers’ play.
This is an excellent novel, well written with a good eye for detail. A pleasure to back.

Tony
Life Bringer

The Glass Harmonica -- This is a great opening chapter. You give enough hints that the suicide does not come as a surprise. What is a surprise is that Maria hasn't mailed the letters. You have an engaging style. The connections between Ben Franklin, WW II and the modern day will help this to appeal to several different age groups. I like it.

Backed.

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

I have found another book to read in full! Many thanks. Love your style — shackled with memories; surge of loved and loathed in equal measure. This is a dessert I will savor with every spoonful. If I haven't already backed, I can't wait to clear my shelf to do so. Thank you.

Richard,

I read a several chapters of your book to get an idea of the plot and characters.

I liked it. You have a credible premise, simple idea with extraordinary consequences affecting ordinary people. All good ingredients for tension and drama. Strong potential for a film, I think.

Your dialogue and place setting is smooth and detailed enough to create the right mood.
I would consider looking at the girl again, she comes across as a sum of parts at the minute; the pianist, the troubled sleeper, pill popper, unlucky in love, lonely. All these aspects seem to be put together to fit plot lines further along. It might be worth looking at developing her character more slowly so that we get to like her and then empathise with her future trials. Keep it simple to begin with and let her flaws and neuroses seep out.

Just a thought and probably not very well explained but I did like your book and will back it.

All the best on this merry adventure
Stephen.

Hi, I’d be more than happy to back your book if you’ll take the time to check out my work.
Thanks

Gefordson
Nothing You can do.

Hmm ... I've had this on my watch list for some time, and only now have been able to get to it. I like the writing so far, after two chapters, but I think you should do a little more research about the Albert Hall before using it as a setting (even for the dream). Have you been there? Firstly, solo piano recitals there are quite rare, and only the most world-renowned, like Barenboim, Brendel or Azkenazy, could play there; there would be too many empty seats otherwise. You would do better to set it in the Wigmore Hall, or one of the other London venues better suited to chamber music. Secondly, the Albert Hall doesn't really have "wings," at least for classical music performances. The performers emerge from an entrance (door, not curtain) 1/3 to the right through the raked stage, not from the side. I didn't go on to chapter 3, but I hope you don't go on to say that this was a Proms concert, since much of the audience would be standing, not sitting, and all Proms chamber music events happen at Cadogan Hall, or sometimes at the Royal College of Music or the V&A museum. Finally, I can't think of a single classical music venue in London where the performer emerges from behind a curtain. It is almost always a door, since curtains aren't good acoustically. I've been to all the major halls.

Stepping out of my classical music snob guise (I really am an orchestral musician), I thought it was still well-written if I can suspend my belief a little. I probably would have read more, if it wasn't so late at night, and I had already decided to back it, based on the first chapter.

Good luck,

Steve
(The Shot)

I can't load chapter 13 - an error! I'm gutted!!

Brilliant prologue compelling me to read on; I wasn't disappointed! First four chapters convince me off a great read ahead. It's true; this book will make an excellent script for a movie. Best of luck, although I don't think you will need luck. Professional, masterly and enjoyable book, 'The Glass Harmonica'

Compelling story, skillfully told. Very polished prose. I can't think of anything I would change in the text.

I would urge you to reconsider your choice of the sans-serif font, though. Good for initial impact but really tiring on the eyes for long texts.
I'd like to read more but I'll have to wait until it comes out in print, I guess, so that I can read it in a more comfortable setting.

Best of luck.
Huseyin
All Things Noble

Hi Richard,

This is one of those stories which I wish I had more time to read. In the couple of chapters I did read I didn't find a single error and the concept is unusual.

It was an enjoyable read and I wish you well with it.

Ron

Your writing skill can't be denied. I found this an enjoyable read and I have no problems BACKING your excelent book. Good luck.

Frank James (The Contractor.

This is a well written story told on a grand scale. It's one of those rare kind of of books that trigger a movie reel in my head--I can practically see and hear the actors say their lines as they go from scene to scene. The opening prologue scene, by the way, was outstanding.

Well Richard,

It has taken more months than i thought but i came back and have read the entire post.
Wonderful. I do have one teeny weeny thing to say ....do you think the Emile revelation was too soon? I was totally enrapt and lost in this tale. Great dialougue and description. Am glad i made the time ...

:)

Diane

Hi Richard

Impressive opening - I completely believe in Nathaniel and the Bartholomew set-up. This is excellent thriller writing - I'm not surprised you're so high up the ranking. Backed.

Nicole (Chosen)

Nice, Richard. Up front, I'm not a critic, just a mere scriptwriter jumping into the world of novel writing for the first time. That said, I can spot a good visual, with a good, solid structure. Yours is terrific.

Sincerely,
Jim
jack & charmian london

Brilliant. I cannot think of anything new to add to the well deserved praise below, so will simply put you on my shelf.
Joanna Carter
Fossil Farm