Book Jacket

 

rank 2407
word count 24080
date submitted 16.04.2010
date updated 20.04.2010
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Romance,...
classification: universal
incomplete

Cursed!

Jessica Micale

Caught in between two worlds. One as a normal teenager. Another as a teenager with a curse nobody can find out.

 

Michaela is caught in two worlds. One where she is completely normal teenager from trying to finish high school to finding love for the first time. Her second world, is one all her own. Where secrets are kept from the best of friends, and lies come out so easily it becomes a second nature. It's a world where she is cursed, forced to believe that something she has done in the past has had horrible consequences and has made her a freak. She must do something to right the wrong she thinks she has done. To use her curse to help those she can and remain unknown and in the shadows. But when her two worlds collide, she must step out of the shadows to save those who mean the most to her. With the truth coming out about her family and finding the one she can truly confide in she will find out more about herself than she could have imagined.

 
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tags

fiction, fights, first love, high school, lies, teenager, telekinesis

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18 comments

 

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djinnia wrote 685 days ago

jessica, your storyline is amazing. i like the love-to-hate relationship between jack and Mica. i'm guessing that paul will end up a jerk somehow, but only you know that.

the only thing is i can't 'back' you just yet. there are a lot of punctuation mistakes in dialogue and some other major flaws that must be changed. you have im which you need to fix and replace with I'm. world war 2 should be captalized World War II. 10x should be changed. these are only a few that i can remember off the top of my head.

l love the story, but these mistakes detract from the pictures you paint with your words. polish this up and you will have an awesome story.

me

miko.priestess wrote 702 days ago

Great opening paragraph - it sucks you right in. Your MC is dynamic - very much liked. Backed.

Raven Scott wrote 757 days ago

Cursed: Good idea for a story and told with conviction. You need to work on that long Pitch a little to catch the eye of the casual observer who might be browsing a bookshelf. My grand daughter thinks this is BIG (which I assume is a good comment too. Now we both want to know if you will be adding more to it soon...backed with pleasure.
raven Scott (Love is a colour too)

DP Walker wrote 761 days ago

Hi Jessica
This is great! Loads of tension and mystery. Very intriguing and full of suspense. Fantastic idea too - you obviously have a great imagination.
DP Walker
Five Dares

A. Zoomer wrote 762 days ago

I enjoyed this story.
Backed with enthusiasm.
A Zoomer
Going Out In Style

eloraine wrote 763 days ago

I really like it, good luck and backed! E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Barry Wenlock wrote 764 days ago

Hi Jessica, well done, I really enjoyed this. Backed with pleasure, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar boys

Strauss wrote 765 days ago

Delightful teenage story with a twist. Backed! Straussy

Alecia Stone wrote 766 days ago

Hi Jessica,

I already backed the book but have returned to comment. I would split the longer pitch into smaller paragraphs so it’s not one big block.

And drunk driving has to be… Would it sound better if you wrote: And (drink) driving has to be… Just a thought.

I like the suspense in the opening chapter. It made me want to read on. Authentic narrative voice and good characterisation.

“Michael! Come on… 5 minutes(,)” Myles screams… I replaced the period with a comma as a dialogue tag follows the dialogue.

“I will, someday(,)” I replied back(.)

This was an interesting read, and it certainly grabbed my attention. It does need some polishing, but it has a lot of potential.

Shinzy :)

jahek wrote 767 days ago

I love the teenage attitude that you have captured so well (I have 2 myself!!). There are a few typos but apart from that the story runs as smoothly as it needs to - spiky teenagers notwithstanding.

Jane Holyoake (The Spiral Pendant)

A Knight wrote 767 days ago

Excellent. It's refreshing to come across something so polished and enjoyable,. Truly fantastic.
Abi xxx

lizjrnm wrote 767 days ago

This is very well done! Polished and smart. Thanks for having the entire book uploaded so I can return for more of this gem. BACKED with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

Kidd1 wrote 768 days ago

My daughter, Mikayla, loved this. Dialogue, voice and tone are exquisite. Backed.

I hope you will give mine a read, and if you like it as well as we liked yours, back it.

Best,
Robert
Golden Conspiracy

Burgio wrote 768 days ago

This is a good story. I think young adults will relate to Michaela and enjoy following her story. Your dialogue is good. Sounds authentic. Makes this a good read. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

SusieGulick wrote 768 days ago

Dear Jessica, I love literary fiction & especially romance. Your blurb is good because it prepared me to read your book. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)

Mal Muirhead wrote 768 days ago

Hi Jessica.
This looks like an interesting read. Michaela voice rings true, perfectly pitched and nuanced. She bored and intersted in equal measure, something that is very difficult to pull of. Ignore the comments below about yoour pitch, by the way. He writes that to everyone and in fact he appears to say that you have both a long and a short pitch. How clever you must be!
Mal Muirhead - Marvellous Mavis and the Devolve-o-Meter

soutexmex wrote 768 days ago

Welcome aboard, Jessica. I do like your short pitch. But I think you can edit down your long pitch, so it reads faster. Perfecting your pitch is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

sianbanks wrote 768 days ago

very interesting synopisis, i've added it to my watchlist - all the best

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