Invasion From Within

read the rest thru 5th chapter. i love the way you describe -the cold gnawed at his bones - etc. i think you will do well. i felt i got to know the characters right away and again enjoyed your use of description and creepiness yet some areas very honest and human. very nice.

enjoyed reading and added to my watchlist to read at a later date. wondered if you would peek at my book and give me some feedback r/t us being in similiar genres. thanks.
kendra ziems/autumn lullaby

Invasion from Within
Dynamic plot and captivating action thriller.

This is a fast paced story that will have wide appeal to YA esp High school aged boys. They will eat it up!

The mechanics ... needs a good editor to go through it. Many missing commas. But that can be overlooked, I think, in light of the potential this story has. It is really POWERFUL.

IMO, some of the dialog would benefit to be less correct. Looser. Likewise, the action would quicken with sentence fragments and short bursts of writing.

The imagery is excellent! But there is a "distancing" from the action with the narration and explanation, esp in the first chapter. The reflections might be unnecessary. How he got there ... might not really be needed. Could be covered later in the story with some dialog ... just a thought.

My 17 yr old son would really like this one.
Raechel
Echo

Nick!

I read your first chapter and I’ve got to say this is a captivating start to an engaging story. You weave the words into original combinations and the lack of passive constructions (unlike in my story) makes a highly favorable impression. Your style beckons me to go on and read another chapter.

Star rated it and read further.

Ivan
The Beholder (edited and restructured)

l shall back- this is written with great effect- narrative and dialogue, that tell an original tale...
read SEASONS...

INVASION FROM WITHIN.
I remember reading this a few months ago. Horror is not my usual genre but I thought then that this has a certain quality to it.

I found this book quite eerie and atmospheric. Your characters emerge into their clandestine environment after surviving the experiment that has gone horribly wrong. Perfectly chilling, and contains a darkness about it that is perfectly enjoyable. Chapter 3 is probably the better of the initial chapters as things begin to unravel at a fast pace.

I'm not sure that I like the font you use as it makes it a bit dificult to concentrate when reading in a dim light.
All in all brilliant Stuff and wel done.
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

As requested, I went after ch 3. Landed in ch 4. Here are my notes:

, not ; after whisper

You have me by paragraph 1. I'm there.

, not ; after presence

Unseen,

A lot of tension here, especially after the shadow.

Great, lean prose.

Stunning image of barrenness

frigid?

Nice dialogue. Opens up the characters.


"What did that?" great tension, remembering the shadow

The setting had me feeling we were back in time--or in another world. The dialogue is contemporary. Interesting juxtaposition

Surprised to see Levis

pits of fire--damn. good tension

I love the nonchalant dialogue in this scene. creates believability

Lancelot--classic. it didn't register until now

This is a great world, great story. Funny, believable, new

I'm afraid I lost myself in it and stopped noticing semicolons. sorry

Such a good idea, such good writing. It's Lance that sells it. You could have him stand on the sun, and if he talked the way he does and made me laugh, I'd believe it. Solid, solid character.

Thanks to those here at Authonomy -- and another truly dedicated community of writers I visit with -- who's input on Invasion from Within has fuel some new lines of thought I am now in the process of doing an in-depth edit of the first chapters. Many thanks to those who gave their honest opinions. Due to this, and the fact that as yet I have done no self promoting, I will probably take yet another plunge in rank, but not to worry. I rose once, I'll do it again when the time is right, provided I get my house in order.

To the probable few that stumble upon my yarn and leave a comment, or back it if they feel compelled to do so because they just can't help themselves, I still return all reads, comment on whatever compels me too, and back those I feel deserving.

Thanks again.
Nick

Okay, I have read three chapters and in spite of all the distractions here (teenagers, husband, music blaring and conversation at high volume) I still managed to love this book!
You weave a good story and entice the reader in, your characters are strong but normal, and are the best we hope we would be when faced with adversity.
I found one typo in chapter 3 (string not sting, on the door of the barn/shed) but that was all.
Thankyou for writing this, it took me somewhere else and kept me there, if only for a while.
Anyway, life is calling me back, but I will shelve this as soon as I free up a space!
Millie C

You start off with a great voice, but you take a while to get to the story, going on a bit too much about his character (which can come later, or be shown) and then moving onto his appearance, which we really shouldn’t be hearing so directly from his own POV, and goes on a bit too long, and then into setting. You could probably tighten up the first 3 paragraphs in to one of equal length or two of shorter lengths. Your descriptions of setting/experience are really evocative though. I love the one at the start of chapter 2, and you jump into scene a bit faster this time. Really really you need to cull these character descriptions though. We do not need everyone’s age/height/weight. Can you convey these things obliquely? For example—think of how a big man moves around versus a smaller man. You could surely show that without telling us he’s a big man. Know what I mean? And for the details you do give directly, stick to original, unique choices. Of all your chapters that I read, chapter 3 was the best. I really enjoyed the story and characters—I think you just need to tighten things up. We’ve all been there. I bet I still have some work to do myself! Anyway, you already have my backing, but I don’t regret it. You give a dark flavor to this story that is highly enjoyable! Your chapters are already a good length to keep the pace fast, but tightening will make this read like all the best thrillers!

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Gah! I do not normally back books without reading (which is what it looks like I clearly just did) your book was on my bookshelf next to a book I just finished commenting on. I guess that means I'm going to read it tonight so I can give you a real comment, and you've ended up with my backing either way now.

I like writing that takes the reader straight into the story and I like your descriptions. You have developed strong supporting characters.

Jane

I really enjoyed this. You have a flair for telling a story. I loved how in chapter 1 it starts out very science-fictiony, but you also add a hint of fantasy with the old crone's prophecy. Then in chapter 2 the horror begins. Backed with pleasure, Sana x

Nice pacy style and teasing mystery in the opening. The hyphenated words in the opening sentence threw me, then I realized what you were doing. If you want to use hyphens for punctuation you'll need to put spaces around them (... man - even... ).
Dialogue is very good. Backed.

Any amount of mystery and intrigue in the opening chapter which is always good. Add to that good crisp writing and a good pitch and I would say you have a winner. I do so enjoy writing which reflects original imagery , and yours is rich in that. The Tails of Willie Gusty.

Hi Nick,

A very long time ago you commented on my book and left some very helpful advice for me to mull over. I realized that, although your book has been on my watch-list for ages, I never returned the favour. So I have finally read your book and below is a few things I noticed about your book. I am very new at commenting constructively (rather than flowery commentary which is nice but doesn’t actually help the writer prefect his/her craft) so if the things below don’t sit well with you (and you think I’m talking through a hole in the top of my head) then you can feel free to disregard them. :-)

There was really just a few little things I noticed.... :-)

Overall

First of all, I found the font really hard to read. Perhaps it’s me but with so many fonts to chose from now days, something more like Calibri or Arial or even Times New Roman would be easier to read I think.

Secondly, I think maybe weaving descriptions into the story a bit more rather than just telling them outright might be better. Expecially with physical descriptions.

And Thirdly, in some places you have used a dash (–) where comma’s could be used with ease (or no punctuation at all)...for example in chapter three you write “Bent low he ran – an unintentional zigzag pattern – to the cabin and peered around the corner. It reads just as well without the dash’s... “Bent low he ran an unintentional zigzag pattern to the cabin and peered around the corner.” This occurs quite often throughout and I find it starts to get distracting and breaks the flow of the sentence. Another good example is the paragraph describing the buildings Lance finds in the clearing. Instead of writing “The door – held shut by a simple string latch – was constructed from thick oak planks” you could write “The door was constructed from thick oak planks and held shut by a simple string latch.” It’s the same thing without the pesky dash in it. :-)

Chapter 2

I’m starting to become a little distracted with the continued descriptions of weight and height. It starts to feel repeated and unnecessary. For me, whenever you say something like ‘250-pound frame,’ I have stop reading and it starts to interrupt the flow of the actual story. Remembering that only the US, Burma (Myanmar) and Liberia use customary units not the metric system. Which means that anyone outside of those countries will have to mentally calculate the actual weight of the character to understand what you are trying to describe. Writing something like “His squat, heavyset frame was solid muscle” would be suffice without having to detail weight and height constantly. The same goes for your character Travis “The major, towering over six-feet was far thinner than his counterpart.” Rather than detailing his 190-pound weight.

1. I think this sentence “Tanner stroked his jaw with thumb and forefinger, the rasping of a three-day growth of beard sounding unusually loud in the ghostly setting.” is quite long and disjointed. Perhaps something more like “Tanner stroked his jaw with his thumb and forefinger. Unshaven for three-days, the rasping sound admitted was unusually loud in the ghostly setting.”

I also found that having two similar names, Travis and Tanner, in this chapter confusing and I had to constantly remind myself which one was the sergeant and which was the major.

I loved the description of the creature in chapter two and how they enveloped Travis and Tanner.

Chapter 3.

I liked this chapter. Things really got moving and I started getting more hooked. One this I did notice is that you sometimes don’t put each person’s dialogue on a separate line – i.e. “Come get me now,” he yelled, revving the engine...should be on a separate line, rather than sandwiched in a paragraph of narration.

I found the rest of the book moved along much quicker, with a good amount of dialogue and narration. You have an excellent plot, great characters to work with and I am happy to back it. As I said above, this is just my option and I hope I didn’t offend you too much. :-) Hehe

Happy Writing!

Joyanna (The Prince and The Sorcerer)

With such control and excellent efficiciencies of writing talent and skill you do not need my input but I can offer my backing.

BACKED

Nick
You are clearly an accomplished and experienced storyteller. Your start is compelling and enjoyable to read.

On the whole your wriitng is tight, but an area to think about is the descriptions. Sometimes I found them excessive - for example the rumpled brown jacket. On it's own this may have been OK, but it's part of a few descriptions introducing the characters. Include things like this only of it adds rather than could distract. Remember us readers aren't a bright bunch and we can only retain so much! I'd also bewary of trying too hard to find something rather than the obvious description - e.g. "onyx" eyes and "ebony" van (and later "coal colored van").

The only other thing I can coment on is when Hilda reads out his name. Wouldn't she comment on "Lance A Lott", finding it amusing?

On my shelf

Murray (suspicion)

This is really good, Nick. I just loved the way you introduced Lance and the old woman with the big nose. The mind boggles! Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

Nick,

This does exactly what is says on the tin. It thrills, scares and excites.

Bravo!

Jodi
x-Evalesco-x

Nick,
Finally got back and have had a chance to look at your work. Liked the way you started. Bit of mystery. THANKFULLY, no screwups in typing. So many upload their work full of grammatical and writing mistakes. Haven’t found it here. Just so you know, I was looking for pleonasms, repetitions, passive voice, POV changes...the usual. (You mention waiting vehicle twice in two paragraphs though)
Happy to see you didn’t overdo your descriptions either, though you might have slightly underdone them IMO. Ex. “Wet and cold Lance hunkered against a small boulder...” For a page one description, it should be better.
LOVE THE WITCHY WOMAN. Superb. Oooo, I so want to read on.
Skipped chapter 2 (will come back later)
Note: found your descriptions improved in chapter 3. No complaint about them now. Did feel the dialogue of Amazon man somewhat Cliché. A bit of work is needed to make it sound more menacing.
Nick, summing this up, you’ve got an awesome plot and quality writing going here. There’s so much potential and it would take very little to get this top notch.
Backed!

Paul

www.pauldaytonscifi.com

Eye of the Idol

This story starts out strongly and only gets better. Horror is immediately apparent, the reader fed tasty clues as the plot thickens. Lance and Kristen are great characters. The story is very visual and I could easily see it as a dark and atmospheric movie.
Eric Wilder - Prairie Sunset

Good evening Nick, Invasion from Within is a very well written story. I found what I read quite enjoyable.
Backed Njoy
*moods and expressions*

Nick, I read your first two chapters. This is well-edited work. Couldn't pick up any obvious grammatical errors, and this is a smooth, entertaining read, so it deserves my support.

Backed with pleasure.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Backed Invasion From Within with pleasure. Sounds like Lance is in for one hell of a ride!
C C Brown
Dark Side

Finding this book was an unexpected pleasure. Your opening chapters brim with gorgeous metaphors. The opening scene comes alive. I would love to see this story line as a film or series.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Nick,

Wow, you've got a great concept here that could really go in any number of directions, and I like your creative prose style. I feel like I'm reading something new.

Nice work! Backed! Looking forward to your thoughts on Head Games!

Kevin Alex Baker
Head Games

P.S. Was "Lance A. Lott" (Lancelot) done on purpose, or just a coincidence?

interesting piece pof science fiction

Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

Dear Nick,
I like your use of words, "crumpled face first into a growing crimson pool" and "cold contempt" - lots of interesting phrases and alliteration. Very nice!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Here is your chance to get a double backing. My friend, homewriter, and I have similar taste in writing and trust each other's judgment. Back my book and leave it on your bookshelf. Then do the same for his, "The Harpist of Madrid." Once the backings register, he will give you a return backing guaranteed. Just let him know in an email that you've backed my book as well as his. You might have to be a bit patient as we're 6 time zones apart. But you'll have two backings guaranteed on your excellent book. Of course, comments are always welcome too!

A journey filled with surprises. Interesting characters with real emotions. Effective dialogue and narrative. Intriguing storyline. Nice pacing. Backed.

Okay, let’s give it a try.
First 3 pages, Lance, are a little long winded narration. It is action and ends with a hook but a little more dialogue and even some internal dialogue could move it faster.
When you intro Darby you feel compelled to go again through physical description. Then, we finally get dialogue but…your characters talk and you ID them. Should be the other way around. ID and dialogue after. Also, three words of dialogue and 50 of narration telling the reader why he’s saying it, what he thinks, etc. TOO much telling.
Finally, you start moving it faster…something’s cooking. I wouldn’t end the chapter with a sketchy new character, Jesse.
You’re starting Ch 2 with a new character, Peter. Again we get height and weight. It’s predictable by now and when you add the Sgt. It’s just too much. Military men talk cryptic. You have those two ramble on and on. Plus, a Sgt won’t talk to a Major the way you do it. Regardless that he’s retired, there is a code. On the plus side, things are happening and that’s great.
Now Bill. Do you need him, here? You had us going and just doused us with some cold water. Narration which doesn’t advance the story.
As a reader I’m confused. 2 chapters 5-6 characters who could be the MC and I have no idea for which one to root. Every time something finally moves forward you stop and introduce a new character.
The writing’s not bad at all but you need to trim al the talk and tell and show us what’s going on.
Also, we have no idea of a time frame, what’s happening when.
I’m gonna back it for your effort and telling talent.
Good luck

Invasion From Within

Nick Fraysher

I like your short pitch - guess no one hopes his blood is the preferred flavour! Excellent atmosphere and imagery here. "Folding like a jacknife he crumpled face first into a growing crimson pool." Did her fingernails do all that? Hmmm, and he hears her humming contently. This would make a gripping horror film.
Can anything stop the feeding frenzy? If so, I would love to come back and find out what! Backed long ago and had this on my WL to read for ages - glad to be able to take a look at it after all. Best of luck with it Nick.

who wants to be compared to a famous author - hell, that's just a burden. sorry, i have to burden you. ;)
your prose reads like cormac mccarthy: spare, poetic, emotionally-powerful.
on my shelf.
when i like something, i dig in to see if i can pass on any valid "critique."
here's a few tiny nitpicks that may make sense to you:
"perchance" - seems kinda formal for lance's POV
"perched precariously" - i can visualize precariously and perched. however, when added together, i find their poeticism nudges the sentence away from precariousness and insanity.
all in all, nice one!
best wishes, andy

Invasion From Within- A very intriguing pitch that drew me in. Good descriptive chapter`s and a nice pace to the story. A very well written story that is full of suspense from the onset. It`s on my WL waiting it`s turn on my shelf.

Best wishes
Sarah Louise

PS. Thankyou for your backing and comments on Bad Fellows

Nick,

Okay, as you're looking for the genuine feedback I'm going to nit pick my way through, of course take it all with a grain of a salt, after all it's only one person's opinion.

Starting with your pitch:

--the first sentence of the short pitch doesn't quite work for me, I'm not quite sure why, but perhaps because I don't know what the creatures emerge from (can't be the darkness can it?); but

--I really like the humour of the second sentence, the humour here is a great contrast with the implied horror.

In the long version:

--thir sentence I'd be inclined to remove the word 'may', which weakens the impact, perhaps 'near' too, for similar reasons;

--I think in the second para it sould be 'locusts' not 'locus', but I may be wrong; and

--the last para sits awkwardly, mainly because there was no prior indication of things looking promising!

However, your pitch covers most base: the MC is introduced, the inciting incident referred to, obstacles faced by the MC and other major characters given and the story question posed. There could perhaps be more on setting. I don't know if this is an alternate future, another planet or what.

Into the work proper. Again with a focus on nit-picks and critical thought:

--you open with essentially exposition, but there are some nice turns of phrase in the first paragraph;

--the second is just description of the character and it's static, I want to see some action and be engaged by the character;

--for me the third paragraph is where your story starts, what came before could be deferred and provided in dribs and drabs as needed, this is where the action is and where I first take an interest;

--following paragraph has three uses of 'had', I believe the middle one could safely be omitted;

--next paragraph also has too much past perfect tense for my liking, but it's a good para with strong description and good innner dialogue;

--after the dialogue 'Storm's coming.' you refer to 'The' voice. Using 'her' would both be more personable and avoid the repition of sentences beginning with 'the'.

--following line, I believe the question is sufficient to show Lance is uncertain and the adverbial modifier of the tage could omitted;

--the paras after, from his glance at the first woman to the second woman stepping back into the shadows are great;

--first para following, you have words set off by em dases that I think could simply be set in commas (dashes normally signify an aside);

--there's a paragraph beginning 'Lightning lacerated the sky', this is a good image, so's te one in the next sentence, but they're more or less repetitive, I'd go with one or the other;

--scene two again begins with static description of characters;

--second para, after the dialogue, is all tell, you could show this through the scene rather than telling the reader;

--I like the staccator dialogue between the two, it might be even more effective with less narrative wrapped around it;

--Just realised the first scene MCs name is Lance A Lot, love it, missed that completely earlier on;

--final scene of chapter one, dialogue embedded in first para could be contracted, and the para could be broken after the words spoken;

--Hilda whispered [in his ear], can we assume the whispher is in or close to his ear? (Would avoid the echo of ear in the next para.)

--final para, second sentence I'd omit the last two words, make it ultra short and sharp, but this is a great para to finish a chapter.

Okay, so that's it for the first chapter and I'll stop there.

Nits and the like aside I actually liked this, there's a mix of dark drama and almost camp humour.

I hope you won't mind if I back this.

Hi Nick, Very intriguing from Lance’s POV because he doesn’t seem to know what’s going on with the strange contamination. I think it’s told well with the description and then the professor’s conversation clears up why Lance is being held. It’s eerie and captures the feeling of being among an organized technical crew. And Lance’s heroism isn’t being rewarded. The synopsis sounds very compelling after the contamination. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Invasion From Within is very eerie and atmospheric, the characters seemed looped in a clandestine enviroment searching for clarity. The characters that is, who survive the initial chapters, after a genetic experiment goes terribly wrong. Their is surrealism and candour mixed together, the soldiers for instance, Proffessor Darby and his assistant and Krsitin the girl, none really deserving pity, and yet we're are compelled to give it. Only Lance seems innocent, having nothing much to do with the experiment.
Brilliant Stuff.
Backed with pleasure
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.
In Chapter four it was raining outside, then suddenly it was snowing, can the weather change so quickly.Are the scientists playing with the weather?

Oh yes the weather can easily go from rain to snow when the temperature falls near enough to, or below freezing, Does it here near every winter. One only hopes it changes from rain to snow without first becoming the dreaded freezing rain that leave everything coated in a layer of ice.
Nick

Brilliant. Backed
Helen
The Last Dream

This story has the makings of a gripping thriller. You succeeded in rendering Lance believable and likable. Great character intro beginning chap1. A mysterious aura is brought on by the toxic cargo, and old woman's appearance and disappearance (and good that she comes back later in the story). My curiosity is sparked. Nice touch: Kristen's study of bugs...

“...unusual insignia-” (very recognizable logo...drop it maybe?)
...Darby's physical description is redundant...(drop “distinguished looking”)
... the introduction of so many characters in chapter2 is a bit overwhelming (I was glad to reconnect with Lance in Chap3)
...check punctuation ex. “Why me?” , “Dog-gone-it!”...”But you didn't do it...did you?” etc
... a tighter editing can make your prose punchier (I find less is better...but that's me)... ex: a thin glaze of frost...(glaze is thin)

Good luck with this project
Backed!
Miguel
Absentee Bidder

Invasion From Within is very eerie and atmospheric, the characters seemed looped in a clandestine enviroment searching for clarity. The characters that is, who survive the initial chapters, after a genetic experiment goes terribly wrong. Their is surrealism and candour mixed together, the soldiers for instance, Proffessor Darby and his assistant and Krsitin the girl, none really deserving pity, and yet we're are compelled to give it. Only Lance seems innocent, having nothing much to do with the experiment.
Brilliant Stuff.
Backed with pleasure
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.
In Chapter four it was raining outside, then suddenly it was snowing, can the weather change so quickly.Are the scientists playing with the weather?

Hi Nick
A very visual opening with lots of suspense and tension. I found it compelling and got engrossed in it immediately. On occasions I thought you may have possibly overdone the description, but overall it flows well. Some unexpected hooks and a strong plot. Backed.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Strong, clear prose - reads well and has a forward momentum to it.

In terms of plot and story it felt a bit bogged down in description (as opposed to action). I got a very clear picture of the sitaution with the crash and how he had saved people etc, but I didn't get to see anyone doing anything, which felt like a missed opportunity.

The old lady saying a storm's coming felt a bit cliched. As did her beware the night. A matter of taste, but think that slipped over into corny territory.

I think you get across the sense of impending distaster well, and the pace is pretty quick and carries you along. I do think you should have shown him being the hero, and not just pulling people out, but have something stopping him from saving them (flames, fallen tree, pack of wolves - whatever) and then show how he overcomes the obstacle.

Some good stuff and taut writing. Backed.

Great opening chapter. Lots of feeling and very moody. The scene is well set and desciptive passages great. I don't usually read horror as I get scared and this justifies it!
Well done
Faith
the Assassins Village

backed your book :)

I am pretty sure I backed this the other day but I will do it again just to be sure.

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"

I like how you go from narration to description so smoothly, without skipping a beat. Make sure you watch for those cliches that creep into writing and makes people cringe when they come across them, like "foolish pride," I've definitely have heard too many times. Nonetheless, this is a read that draws you in and doesn't let go, very well done.

Backed. Elena (Silver Flows East)

This story gets off to a really good start in Chapter 1, mysterious, multi-layered, the sense of heroism mingled with danger from an unexpected source, the falling of night and the dream-like appearance of a woman who warns him, just before he -- too late -- realizes why. This is really good writing in Chapter 1. I will back it.

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"

Professor Smith is a man of strong opinions and apparently few scruples, and Lance has landed himself in hot water as well as green slime. From the behaviour of the Prof, Travis and Tanner, nobody seems safe, green slime or no. However, the winged creatures are even worse. Bill at least seems a normal guy, much like Lance, but a witness to the strange new destructive creature, and now also a witness to the stitch up of Kristen. Then Lance escapes in an exciting action scene involving a bunch of men who, from the look of them, have been part of a genetic experiment.

Horror is a genre I've seldom read, but this certainly ticks all the boxes; the gory deaths, the portents, the strange creatures and the underlying scheming of someone evil. The only thing that doesn't seem to fit is Lance's name which gave me the impression from the very beginning that this would be a parody. I think it might be an idea to change his surname but, as I said, I'm not that familiar with the genre. Aside from that, the story is imaginative and the writing, polished ... backed.

Possible nits: 'ushered away ... threaded its way through ... spirited away', you could omit 'its way'. 'black[-]clad men'. 'serpent[-]faced'.

After reading the pitch, I had to take a peek. You have created a seriously scary world with an incredible cast of characters. I don't know who affected me the most as they were all very distinct and sinister and make an incredible impression. Your narration and dialogue helps bring out the tension even more and the underlying suspense keeps the reader hooked to read on.
Backed.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

Hi Nick, The writing brings out the sensory detail in this chaotic attack scene. Lance’s rescues and then his being drugged are depicted with an involving POV that stays with the tension. Loved his full name with Darby’s introduction of his past. While the reason for the loss of men puzzles, these characters really drew me in. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)