Book Jacket

 

rank 2298
word count 13462
date submitted 24.04.2010
date updated 24.04.2010
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Comedy
classification: universal
incomplete

Borges' Travel, Hemingway's Garage

Mark Axelrod

The secret histories of the world's most famous writers, painters and musicians.

 

According to this tongue-in-cheek travel guide, Toulouse-Lautrec, with the aid of one M. Menottes, a benefactor and fellow brothel-goer, opened a little shop in Brussels called Lautrec Handbags. Virginia Woolf, in an effort to find a place for her feminist squad to convene, established a cafe called A Room of One's Own-after her not-yet-published book-which, after her death, was renamed Virginia Woolf's Restaurant and went from specializing in vegetarian foods for the literati to pushing burger specials to tourists. "After the initial publishing of Don Quixote, Cervantes fell into a kind of post-partum depression," he writes, and goes on to explain how Cervantes opened an eponymous institute in Orange, Calif., specializing in "psychological problems associated with male mid-life crisis." Some 40-odd other little tales, none over two pages-concerning businesses established by Hemingway (the titular garage), Camus (cognac), Racine (Danish Kringles™), Joyce (pub), Van Gogh (potatoes), Bukowski (jewelry) and Shakespeare (monofilaments)-make up the rest of the volume. It's a sly, original idea carried, perhaps, a bit too far: the volume offers good browsable bits rather than an absorbing narrative. It amuses-and may even momentarily confuse the credulous looking for signs of La Comédie humaine outside Balzac's Balls in Newport Beach, Calif.

 
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tags

black comedy, borges, fiction, hemingway, literary fiction

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13 comments

 

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RichardBard wrote 279 days ago

Hi Mark!

Since you haven’t been to Authonomy for a while, I hope it’s okay that I’m sending this through your book comment:

I’d like to thank you for backing BRAINRUSH (a Thriller) last year. Because of you it hit the Authonomy Number-1 slot, attracted an agent, and landed a film option. Now that’s a brain-rush! The formal book launch is September 1st and the sequel will be released in December. None of this would have been possible without your help. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Sincerely,
Richard Bard, BRAINRUSH

PS. If you want a good laugh, check out the temporary book-trailer video on the BRAINRUSH website. It’s there as a placeholder for the upcoming professional video. The current one features children and it’s guaranteed to make you smile! And yes, the younger kid on the screen is really me. You can see the video at www.RichardBard.com. The link is also on my Authonomy profile page. While you’re there, check out the “Feel the Rush” promotion that will get you BRAINRUSH plus 2 FREE thrillers from the Kindle Top-20 PAID Bestseller list – yes, really!

lizjrnm wrote 756 days ago

You certainly have a gifted imagination! Well crafted, intelligent and witty! BACKED with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

Balepy wrote 757 days ago

Mark this is first rate - will be reading this more fully over the next day or so meanwhile am backing you. Will probably be in touch again in a day or so. Balepy (Freckles the Fawn)

lynn clayton wrote 758 days ago

It's so learned, so well written, so funny and so rare, here or anywhere. Very best for a brilliant book. Backed. Lynn

Niobrara Kardnova wrote 758 days ago

Fact is stranger than fiction? Not anymore. Very punny and well researched--far over my head most times. Don't know about a market--some literary journal, I would think. And as you said in the pitch, it is more "browsable" than something to be read straight through. I wonder if you threw in a tour guide to escort the audience, which could be composed of more colorful characters from your imagination, if that would break up the vignettes into more digestible bites. Anyway, the satire here cuts both ways--from the obstinate, sensitive, impoverished geniuses across to the crass, thick-skinned capitalists who would gladly exploit a name brand. Glad to back this unique piece.
Niobrara Kardnova (The Trouble with Wives)

bojan wrote 758 days ago

Mark,

This is a fine collection of fascinating stories depicting great people and history in the a new and very interesting light. I enjoyed it immensly. It made me remember other similar stories involving Napoleon and the rule of driving on the right side, Dom Perignon's life struggle to eliminate sparkle from his wine, why there are engraved lines on side of coins, etc.

Backed with pleasure.
Bojan (The Twelfth House)

Amylovesbooks wrote 758 days ago

Curiously entertaining. I can't help wonder how much is true, if any! Backed with pleasure.

Amy
Love Match

eloraine wrote 759 days ago

Loved it, backed with pleasure. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Jed Oliver wrote 759 days ago

This is marvelously imaginative. Or perhaps it is all true? In any case, it is vastly entertaining. Best of luck!
Backed Jedward (Knut)

soutexmex wrote 759 days ago

Welcome aboard, Mark. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. This is certainly original. I like the premise of this book. The short pitch works as is. The long pitch works well. Just break it up so it reads faster. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Burgio wrote 759 days ago

This is a funny, funny book. You have a great imagination so mixed with your subtle sense of humor, you've come up with a great read. Love the way you point out McDonalds doesn't use Van Gogh's potatoes or having cochroaches breaks the A rating in California restaurants. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

SusieGulick wrote 759 days ago

Dear Mark, I would love to go to all of these places to eat - I love dining out - amazing all the research you did for your book. :) You prepared me to read your book with your excellent hook before your story. It is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version, "Tell Me True Love Stories" which at the end tells my illness now/6th abusive marriage I'm in now. Thanks, Susie :)

Bamboo Promise wrote 760 days ago

This is a genre I have to back. Excellent pitch and story telling.
Backed,
Bamboo Promise
"A look at BP will be greatly appreciated"

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