The Atlantean Way

I like the chorus of voices – the adventuring with voice. Prose itself has a sparkle and leaves a satisfying crunch underfoot. Dialogue is great – there’s artistry in it. The monkeys dressed in flight suits elicits a warm grin. Architecturally it’s got something quirky and original about it. Chapters two and three are studded with very fine writing. Lots of wry incisive and sometimes almost surreal wit. The ancient world is depicted with confident playful vitality – colourful intelligent ideas conveyed with a series of effortless flourishes. I found this just got better and better. I’d very happily read all of this on paper. Big thumbs up from me.

Greetings Ostercy, "The Atlantean Way" is the most original, fascinating, humorous novel I've read so far on the site. Rich in characterization, erudition, and satire, it should certainly be made available to a wide reading public. This, of course, assumes that its qualities are maintained throughout. (I've read only two long chapters.) But it's definitely a page-turner, with endless surprises and rewards. I'll enthusiastically back it and plan to return for more.

Bill Carrigan
"The Doctor of Summitville"

Natla is a fiesty, likable character. You flesh her out well. Your storyline is edgy and intense. Your imagery is stunning. For example, your description of the dead woman in the cave. You enrich your narrative with apt similies such as 'like a static Titanic' and clever metaphors like 'I'd been thrown out of Oz and into Kansas.' Your conversations flow naturally and deepen your story. Your world building is awesome. Your pacing kept me riveted to the page. This is a gripping fantasy adventure, masterfully told. Backed.

This is a wonderful idea, original and brilliant executed. I'm hoping a publisher can see the promise in this, because I can. Truly superb, full of vivid descriptions and turns of phrase that leave the reader thinking there is such a thing as a book that deserves the label of both "literature" and "a damn good read!"

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

THE ATLANTEAN Way: Interesting and imaginative.

Heidi
Pearl Edda

Fun, fun stuff. Simply backed. Nice read!

blessings,
jim
jack & charmian london

This is a great read, a sly humour running through a fascinating narrative. Ms Natla is a great character, a lady with a past, as it were, and hopefully a great future. The journal style mixes well with the other narrarive forms employed, giving concision and an array of effects that are deployed with skill. Inventive and entertaining with a serious core of intelligent thoughts to build on, this should be widely read - and widely appreciated and enjoyed. Great stuff, thank you. KA.

Thank you for your lovely review. It's very flattering and gave me a "warm grin". I'm very grateful for your support and pleased that you were able to read more than the first chapter.

I like the chorus of voices – the adventuring with voice. Prose itself has a sparkle and leaves a satisfying crunch underfoot. Dialogue is great – there’s artistry in it. The monkeys dressed in flight suits elicits a warm grin. Architecturally it’s got something quirky and original about it. Chapters two and three are studded with very fine writing. Lots of wry incisive and sometimes almost surreal wit. The ancient world is depicted with confident playful vitality – colourful intelligent ideas conveyed with a series of effortless flourishes. I found this just got better and better. I’d very happily read all of this on paper. Big thumbs up from me.

This is marvelous! I have great respect for your wondrous imagination and quirky sense of humor.
Best of luck. Jedward (Knut)

I like the chorus of voices – the adventuring with voice. Prose itself has a sparkle and leaves a satisfying crunch underfoot. Dialogue is great – there’s artistry in it. The monkeys dressed in flight suits elicits a warm grin. Architecturally it’s got something quirky and original about it. Chapters two and three are studded with very fine writing. Lots of wry incisive and sometimes almost surreal wit. The ancient world is depicted with confident playful vitality – colourful intelligent ideas conveyed with a series of effortless flourishes. I found this just got better and better. I’d very happily read all of this on paper. Big thumbs up from me.

This is quite a tale with lots of imagination used.
Well done.
Backed.
Mike (the compulsive adventurer)

Hello Ostercy, wonderful fictional conceit, and deftly rendered. clean prose, engaging pace.
happily on my shelf.

i could send only kudos but see you welcome feedback. here's a thought that may strike a chord. if not, pls ignore ;)
perhaps shorten the first para, the intro given by the Natla PR person. i think it slows the opening a tad. maybe some info could be moved a few paras forward?

saw a possible tiny typo: "security personal" - security personnel" ?

great storytelling. best wishes, andy

Clever idea, which could have a big following. BACKED with interest, and on my watch list.
Appreciate any comments on my childrens' book ; Paperbat Adventures. Jerry [paperbat]

I couldn’t get my tongue out of my cheer for half an hour. This satirical novel has something for everyone if they have the inclination and imagination. Cleverly plotted and smitten with humour cant make up my mind if it isn’t a spoof of something but if it is who cares its very good.
Wilma1

Knowing Liam Riley – I hope you can spare a moment to take a look.

I think your Q&A start is clever. It allows you to divulge a good amount of useful info without resorting to any clunky exposition.

When we get to the story proper, there's not much to complain about. I think you've clearly taken the time to learn how to write well. Your book feels professional. The prose is descriptive and vivd without being overwrought. And the dialogue feels real.

I think I spotted a tiny typo in chapter 1. Is "there as nothing else" meant to be "there was nothing else"?

I'm v happy to back your book, as it shows evident skill. Good luck with it. :)

Pete

Well written but a little off the wall for me. Concentration needed to follow the narrative, maybe I don't? A mix I've seen before...the familar intermixed with the unfamilar, usually a good technique. Here, I find it a little confusing. Mind closing down I guess?

Natla Technologies is having a difficult time: explosions, deaths, the CEO missing. But back in time, we witness Natla's inexplicable escape from a mysterious prison. 'Thrown out of Oz and into Kansas', maybe she knows something we don't, or at least appreciates the extent of her difficulties. Resourceful as Lara Croft, Natla finds water, makes herself a wig, washes and dries clothes, and rigs a suitable ancestral burial. 'The primitive music of this fallen civilisation' LOL. Elwood helps her out, and then she meets Jaqueline, and then the monkeys...

'I wasn't in Atlantis anymore' ... never a dull moment in this adventures that is an entertaining mixture of legends: Atlanta, Wizard of Oz, and Lara Croft; ancient and modern; sex, danger and rock an' roll, plus a generous serving of humour. A sure fire winner ... backed.

Possible nits: 'and[,] as darkness fell[,] crossed the river'. 'headed north ... headed [veered?] westward'. 'came over and say [sat] down'.

Kind of quirky - but I like it. Happily backed. Eunice - The temple Dancer.

Raised on Alantis with twinned siblings as a Princess with a quirk for genetic engineering, she becomes the illegitimate daughter to a retired small town sherrif in a New Mexican Town of Roswell. In 1946 an American experimental rocket crash's, revealing a crew of harmless monkeys, which she adopts By 1950 its poodle skirts and the atomic age and by 1960 the space race and Vietnam, but by this time she's known as Jacueline Natla, owner of a mining empire.
Rich in humourous anachronisms she fears her equal pay and treatment policy of her workforce may get her the reputation of being a communist, and because of her hear fear of genetic mutation she hides away. Wasn't communism a form of genetic mutation in America at that time.
Excellent story.
Backed with pleasure.
Daniel Manning.
No Compatibilty
Pologue Elwoods world view seems to have stuck before WW2 which is perhaps he managed to tolerate me.( Should it be ' why he managed to tolerate me')
'Hey Sis' said the women to my joy she came over and say down ( Should that be sat down)
Chapter three: But my injured psyche told me that the world need a superpower (Should that be needs)

Greetings Ostercy, "The Atlantean Way" is the most original, fascinating, humorous novel I've read so far on the site. Rich in characterization, erudition, and satire, it should certainly be made available to a wide reading public. This, of course, assumes that its qualities are maintained throughout. (I've read only two long chapters.) But it's definitely a page-turner, with endless surprises and rewards. I'll enthusiastically back it and plan to return for more.

Bill Carrigan
"The Doctor of Summitville"

First I liked your profile - a man after my own heart. So I know that you will take my slight nit pics in the manner in which they are intended.
The Positive outways the negative in that I like the pace which is sharp and fast moving. The concept is interesting. I thouroughly enjoyed Wicked on the WEst End Stage and found that an excellent comparrison. I'm sure this book was not an easy task to approach and you have made a good story that I'm youngsters and those not so young will enjoy.
Nit Pics - In the first chapter I found the repition of the words The Shadow could have been avoided by the use of IT. THe two sentences I poked about and found a bag etc could be tightened by cutting it to I poked about and found a bag that they'd thrown in with me. Also I'd think about cutting one of the adverbs in the paragraph beginning Gradually, slowly, as they both do the same job. THese are very minor points and I'm sure matter of taste. Good luck. K.J. Rabane - According to Olwen.

Natla is a fiesty, likable character. You flesh her out well. Your storyline is edgy and intense. Your imagery is stunning. For example, your description of the dead woman in the cave. You enrich your narrative with apt similies such as 'like a static Titanic' and clever metaphors like 'I'd been thrown out of Oz and into Kansas.' Your conversations flow naturally and deepen your story. Your world building is awesome. Your pacing kept me riveted to the page. This is a gripping fantasy adventure, masterfully told. Backed.

Clever - and why not use this character with a bit of panache and a bit of pastiche? At worst, if no publisher wants to go down that route, you could seek interest from computer games companies, the book of the game?
Lara
Good for Him

The evocative scenery is astounding. backed

"How long I have been imprisoned - is it five thousand years of fifteen thousand or fifty thousand?" It must be hard to be an Atlantean princess who has lost her way and her time. This fascinating and I want to come back and read the rest once I get a little more time this summer. Backed for now.

Dear Ostercy,
I enjoy your story and your writing. I think you could liven up the pitch a bit to match. It's a little overly academic. Should instead tell more of the story. I'm glad you put the Lara Croft disclaimer in. Very nicely done!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Here is your chance to get a double backing. My friend, homewriter, and I have similar taste in writing and trust each other's judgment. Back my book and leave it on your bookshelf. Then do the same for his, "The Harpist of Madrid." Once the backings register, he will give you a return backing guaranteed. Just let him know in an email that you've backed my book as well as his. You might have to be a bit patient as we're 6 time zones apart. But you'll have two backings guaranteed on your excellent book. Of course, comments are always welcome too!

Backed

Ferdi
A Bed of Thorns

Thanks for the interesting comments. I'm glad you think that the book is well written. As for the pitch - I have a confession to make. I pitched it partly at the potential reader and partly at Harper-Collins. I meant the book to be good to read on a number of levels and I have to admit that one of those levels is academic - there are various obscure jokes in there. As for "why should I read it?", I don't really know why people choose to read one book or another. Maybe out of idle curiosity? I hope if they give it a go they'll get drawn in by the story and the humour. Any how, thanks again for all your advice.

My own personal jury is still out. Your book is well-written and there is nothing wrong with the concept - on that basis I'll back it.

The approach of your pitch troubles me. It sounds all to academic - your are telling me what you were trying to achieve. As a reader I've no interest in what you were trying to achieve.

What is your story about? Why would I want to read it?

My own loaded work is loaded with 'celebrities' and 'characters created by others', so I understand the difficulties. Obviously my approach is different because I have a different style to yours - I don't know what to say for the best.

Good luck with this.

My own personal jury is still out. Your book is well-written and there is nothing wrong with the concept - on that basis I'll back it.

The approach of your pitch troubles me. It sounds all to academic - your are telling me what you were trying to achieve. As a reader I've no interest in what you were trying to achieve.

What is your story about? Why would I want to read it?

My own loaded work is loaded with 'celebrities' and 'characters created by others', so I understand the difficulties. Obviously my approach is different because I have a different style to yours - I don't know what to say for the best.

Good luck with this.

How could anyone not be inspired by the mystery of Atlantis? You have set yourself a very challenging task here but you seem to be up to it. Strong writing skills emerge from a sound historical knowledge. Happy to back and good luck.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

This is not the kind of a story I usually read, but I enjoyed yours.
You got a great voice…keep it up. You got my backing.
If you got a moment maybe you could look up my book, TO KILL A DEAD MAN

This is not the kind of a story I usually read, but I enjoyed yours.
You got a great voice…keep it up. You got my backing.
If you got a moment maybe you could look up my book, TO KILL A DEAD MAN

This is not the kind of a story I usually read, but I enjoyed yours.
You got a great voice…keep it up. You got my backing.
If you got a moment maybe you could look up my book, TO KILL A DEAD MAN

An original idea, well executed with wonderful dialogue, good description and a bit of humor to endear us to your MC, who seems fiesty and endlessly interesting. Well done.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

Thank very much for the backing and the kind comments. Much appreciated. I'm glad I cleared some hurdles.

BACKED. You have had a wonderful idea here. Sticking to your guns was the right thing to do and I also think a brave thing (that is by no means a negative, quite the opposite). In drawing tyhe bridge up to the beginning of an original story and playing backwards, almost, you create a lot of hurdles for yourself. If part, 1,2 and 3 are anything to go by you have leapt clean of them all. Good stuff.

BACKED. GOOD LUCK!

Hi there. Thanks a lot for your nice review; I'm happy that you think my story is creative. :) You may (or may not) be correct about the copyright (I'm not exactly sure about what counts as copyrighted) but I have a cunning plan B if necessary; it's called "change all the names". :) I'm happy to change my antiheroine's name to Georgia Atlanta, for example. Some of the sections whiz by, I agree. I tried hard to keep the word number down, and I was aiming in the ancient bits for a pseudo-Bibical/Homeric style. (The Iliad is sparse on descriptions of angst and inner turmoil, and Homer doesn't feel the need to supply grand descriptions of the countryside around Troy, for example.) Given the leanness (is that a word?) of The Atlantean Way, it would only be suitable for holiday reading if Harper Collins sold it at, say £4.99, instead of £7.99 at W.H.Smiths, but since it's aimed at young adults that might be a good thing. Only five years or so to wait until it gets to the Editor's desk, so we'll see. :)

I think that this has a lot of promise - very creative. My only fear is that you will not be able to secure a copyright to publish it or something like that, but other than that, it looks pretty good. Every now and then, I got the feeling things were moving a little too quickly, but this may just be my opinion.

Best Wishes,
Ian Kraft
(The Freel of Streel)

I think that this has a lot of promise - very creative. My only fear is that you will not be able to secure a copyright to publish it or something like that, but other than that, it looks pretty good. Every now and then, I got the feeling things were moving a little too quickly, but this may just be my opinion.

Best Wishes,
Ian Kraft
(The Freel of Streel)

BACKED. You have had a wonderful idea here. Sticking to your guns was the right thing to do and I also think a brave thing (that is by no means a negative, quite the opposite). In drawing tyhe bridge up to the beginning of an original story and playing backwards, almost, you create a lot of hurdles for yourself. If part, 1,2 and 3 are anything to go by you have leapt clean of them all. Good stuff.

BACKED. GOOD LUCK!

Your pitch is good, so is the writing, backed.
Lenny Harry
(Like a dot on the horizon)

Thanks for the nice review. I'm flexible about the prologue and quite happy to leave it out if anybody is interested in publishing. :)

Very original style, I've not seen anything resembling it before. That may make things difficult for you as publishers, these days, are not generaly adventurous souls. But I do have some doubts about the prologue, I think it might make for a better begining without it.

Very original style, I've not seen anything resembling it before. That may make things difficult for you as publishers, these days, are not generaly adventurous souls. But I do have some doubts about the prologue, I think it might make for a better begining without it.

Very original style, I've not seen anything resembling it before. That may make things difficult for you as publishers, these days, are not generaly adventurous souls. But I do have some doubts about the prologue, I think it might make for a better begining without it.

Hi Ostercy,

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
Psychiatric Evaluation

Thanks for your backing. I had to answer "which Irene Ryan?" She wasn't the Irene Ryan who played the Granma in the Clampetts, but this Irene Ryan - http://i50.tinypic.com/6941np.jpg - who went on to become a Senator based in Anchorage.

Clever idea, particularly aimed at the video-game crowd, and written at the right level. Was that THE Irene Ryan? Happy to back this for you.
Craig
The Job

Clever idea, particularly aimed at the video-game crowd, and written at the right level. Was that THE Irene Ryan? Happy to back this for you.
Craig
The Job

Highly original and wholly impressive.
Backed with pleasure. Good Luck.
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further possible backing of your book.

[quote]
I couldn't find the film references in Chapter 2 that you mentioned ... maybe I was looking in the wrong place? However when I was writing the "ancient" bits I did have Natla deliberately break into the story she was telling using modern references, idioms and poems
[/quote]
Hm, maybe it was Chapter 2 on Authonomy (I did notice you have several real chapters in each Authonomy chapter).

After I commented about the modern vocab, I realized that was probably on purpose, since Natla is telling this from her modern perspective. It made sense when the narrative shifted to the 1950's.

Good luck.

I must be more conventional than I thought, because for about ten seconds I thought I wasn't going to like it. The different forms the narrative takes are an advantage, but you're obviously such a talented writer you have no doubt of it. I'm not going to presume to speak of technical things. Backed. lynn

This is brilliantly done, I was thoroughly taken by it. The pitch is one the best and that is what drew me into this well done, highly original piece of work. It surely reads like a play, but is also very enjoyable reading as a book. An absolutely fascinating protagonist and details that bind the story very well.
Backed earlier and I'm glad to have read on to comment.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

A really clever Idea for a novel, Highly ambitious but you pull it off with apparent ease - Which can only mean you put a hell of a lot of time and effort in getting it to flow so smoothly. Sure you'll have many a fan for this.
Backed with pleasure - hope you can return the favour.
David
Bailey of the Saints

Really well done and just my kind of read. This moves effortlessly and is wwll drawn out. It will captivate your target audience and I wish you the best of luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Thank ever so much for your kind review. :) I take your point about the chapters - there are really actually 15 chapters but I couldn't be bothered to upload 15 files, and so I lumped some of them together! I know there are quite a lot of long paragraphs throughout; I 'll relook at them as you suggest, although I am quite fond of them. Thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts.

You have a most unique and captivating storyline which coupled with your descriptive writing style suits the YA audience perfectly. However, and this is just my opinion, I would break up some of the long paragraphs in your openning chapter - it would make your story flow better. Also for a novel of 70,000 plus words to only have seven chapters isn't quite right. I would look for logical breaks and at least double the amount of chapters. Having said that your story is a most enjoyable read and is backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Thanks very much for the kind review and for your helpful remarks; I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I was slightly baffled by one of your comments. I couldn't find the film references in Chapter 2 that you mentioned ... maybe I was looking in the wrong place? However when I was writing the "ancient" bits I did have Natla deliberately break into the story she was telling using modern references, idioms and poems ... as if she was breaking the fourth wall. I didn't realise there was so much sex in the book! I'll have to recheck it and see if I can spot the places where you thought I was using words that weren't too modern. At any rate as you say, it's given me something to think about :). Thanks again for taking the time to write such a long critique.

Have gone partway into chapter 3. This is EXCELLENT stuff, completely engrossing!

A few small criticisms, to give you some food for thought.

I find the two movie references in Chapter Two a little distracting. You’re cruising along with tales of glittering, mythic times, and suddenly you break it with references to movies—one of which I haven’t seen! Perhaps instead you could enrich those moments with similes that fit the setting you’re describing. I understand that these are the times we live in, but think of the future too. Do you want your book to be relevant 50 or 100 years from now? In 100 years no one will know what The Ring is, unless you’re talking about Frodo’s Ring. ;)

This is a deliciously sex-soaked atmosphere (as all ancient stories should be!). My one suggestion would be to replace modern terminology (sexual intercourse, orgasm, tampons, sex toys, foetus, contraceptive regime) with something that sounds ancient. It gives you a chance to invent some idioms for your culture and make that culture feel a little more remote and unique. I understand that the Atlantean society is highly advanced, but my pickiness would like to see language that “feels as old as the story”. It’s a minor quibble, as it’s probably just personal taste. It’s not enough to detract from the interest of the story for me.

Similarly, the phrase “It started off OK” seems stylistically out of place to me. Again, personal preference.

Overall though, the brutal ancient world is wonderfully crafted! I hope this book goes far, because it deserves it.

Have gone partway into chapter 3. This is EXCELLENT stuff, completely engrossing!

A few small criticisms, to give you some food for thought.

I find the two movie references in Chapter Two a little distracting. You’re cruising along with tales of glittering, mythic times, and suddenly you break it with references to movies—one of which I haven’t seen! Perhaps instead you could enrich those moments with similes that fit the setting you’re describing. I understand that these are the times we live in, but think of the future too. Do you want your book to be relevant 50 or 100 years from now? In 100 years no one will know what The Ring is, unless you’re talking about Frodo’s Ring. ;)

This is a deliciously sex-soaked atmosphere (as all ancient stories should be!). My one suggestion would be to replace modern terminology (sexual intercourse, orgasm, tampons, sex toys, foetus, contraceptive regime) with something that sounds ancient. It gives you a chance to invent some idioms for your culture and make that culture feel a little more remote and unique. I understand that the Atlantean society is highly advanced, but my pickiness would like to see language that “feels as old as the story”. It’s a minor quibble, as it’s probably just personal taste. It’s not enough to detract from the interest of the story for me.

Similarly, the phrase “It started off OK” seems stylistically out of place to me. Again, personal preference.

Overall though, the brutal ancient world is wonderfully crafted! I hope this book goes far, because it deserves it.