Book Jacket

 

rank 5463
word count 10811
date submitted 07.05.2010
date updated 10.05.2010
genres: Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult
classification: moderate
incomplete

Eclipse Angel

Ashley Stewart

A single wish will be granted on the eve of the eclipse, and everyone wants to receive it.

 

Long ago the world was cut in two by the Goddess of the Moon, and the resulting halves have been kept separate by her ever since. But that doesn't mean they can't come into contact with each other.

Lady Reign of Nireenia has been longing to visit the kingdom of Rombren to the North and she can't quite explain why. All she knows is that something is pulling her there, something more powerful than anything she has ever felt. But before she leaves she comes across a stranger that she feels she's known forever, and not even he isn't completely sure why. Still, she heads out for Rombren with her new companion as well as her distrusting guards and easily-excitable maid. They will all learn what they truly are as they journey North. And maybe as the time of the eclipse draws near, one of them may even receive their greatest wish.

 
rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

 

tags

angel, castle, doppelganger, eclipse, fantasy, goddess, king, knight, magic, medieval, moon, princess, queen, servant

on 2 watchlists

10 comments

 

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

subscribe to comments for this book
pwinkle wrote 613 days ago

Your premise is great. I found the first chapter a bit slow to get through. It feels like you have started the book long before the story. My suggestion is to either cut this in half, or drop it completely. Start you story with the event, then go back and fill in the details.

Good luck

djinnia wrote 741 days ago

read the first two chapters. very detailed and and drew me in instantly making me want to find out what happens next.

the only nitpick i have is where you introduce Vespera. "the servant, a girl by the name . . ." can be reduced to "the servant girl, Vespera," or even "the servant, Vespera,"

other than that minor thing, excellent.

me

Zero-serenity wrote 742 days ago

I hope you'll upload more, I can't wait for them to meet ^___^
~Zero

Zero-serenity wrote 742 days ago

I actually like where this is going, and the pace was nice, building things up and sucking a reader in. I do believe I'll keep reading.
I found one little nit pick to point out:
Paragraph five from the bottom up, you put 'cut everything the in world' I believe you meant to put 'cut everything in the world'
Hope that's of some kind of use.
~Zero, No Title Needed

stevew wrote 743 days ago

Simply BACKED!

stevew
The Ultimate/The Authors Cut

A Knight wrote 743 days ago

This is a wonderfully unique premise. The writing style is relaxed and easy to read without losing the readers interest, and the detail is superb. You've clearly put a lot of thought into the story, and I wish you the best of luck!

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

AuthorTom wrote 744 days ago

Backed with confidence! Tom Ryerson (Carnal Wreckage)

SusieGulick wrote 744 days ago

Dear Ashley, I love the idea of when there is an eclipse, we would all get what we wished - that would be fantastic - what a premise for your book. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book to help it advance - this will help yours & mine move up on the charts. :) Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every "backing" you do gives your book points & the other person's book. :)

lizjrnm wrote 744 days ago

Everyday I am amazed at the talent and imagination of writers on this site and Eclipse Angel is no exception. So well written and polished! Young adults are going to devour this when it is published! BACKED 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room

Jim Darcy wrote 744 days ago

I appreciate that you are cultivating an air of mystery regarding the young man but the reader really needs a name for him in the prologue. Otherwise we have no emotional connection and what he does, does not matter to us. I like the varied sentence structure and you have a delicate manner of description. This promises to build into an interesting read.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

1