Love Comes Later

HELLO MOHANALKSHMI 'LOVES COMES LATER'

the pitch is very good and made me want to read more about another culture and behaviour etc
i am not dissapointed . this is a very good read deep as it is and well written.
the idea of mixed marriages is interesting as it was very common in the Ireland of the past era, when matchmaking was a norm among country folk
i have feelings for Abdulla's position and also i should mentions Fatima's feelings.
however perhaps its better then the western culture who knows nowadays/
backed with pleasure
TOM BYE 'FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
please read my book, back, comment . if you have time where you will read about times past in Dublin .
thank you

HELLO MOHANALKSHMI 'LOVES COMES LATER'

the pitch is very good and made me want to read more about another culture and behaviour etc
i am not dissapointed . this is a very good read deep as it is and well written.
the idea of mixed marriages is interesting as it was very common in the Ireland of the past era, when matchmaking was a norm among country folk
i have feelings for Abdulla's position and also i should mentions Fatima's feelings.
however perhaps its better then the western culture who knows nowadays/
backed with pleasure
TOM BYE 'FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
please read my book, back, comment . if you have time where you will read about times past in Dublin .
thank you

Good job on that first chapter. I like the true-to-life dialogue and narrative. Nothing to fault there.

Backed with pleasure.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

A very interesting exploration of cultural differences and confines. Your highly descriptive writing style makes your finely crafted novel a pleasure to read. Your work is well paced, well written and the character development is solid. Backed with pleasure.

Cheers,
Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Very fine story. You present the attributes of the culture beautifully (respect, brotherhood) and the dialogue is of fine quality. I like the depth of description you provide and the intensity which is building up here. Very good writing ability.

backed
The Lord of the Dawn

Love Comes Later
Mohanalakshmi Rajakumar

It was a pleasure reading your pitches and first chapter. The cultural elements and familial interactions made this very interesting and you began sketching your characters well. You write with an understanding of the religious and social norms relevant to your characters. This was colourful, stimulating and compelling so far. I wouldn't have thought of this as Chick Lit but perhaps you are right as my classification abilities might be questionable. Happy to have given it a spin on my shelf.
Zan

LOVE COMES LATER

Dear Mohanalakshmi,

Great story set in with contrasting cultures.
Thx for sharing these chapters.
On my bookshelf.
A Zoomer
Going Out in Style

Nicely written, but watch out for errors. In your very first paragraph, for example, it should read "all too brief marriage". Backed with pleasure. Colin

Hi Mohanalakshmi,

This is a great read. I thought the way the story started was great; it pulled me in straight away. Great characterisation. Loved the vivid descriptions; I could picture the scenes clearly.

This is very well written and flows well. A powerful story.

Shinzy :)

I'm a big fan of Jhumpa Lahiri's work, and your pitch pulled me right in because it made me think of her books.

Your story is compelling -- great choice to use the funeral/flashback to his marriage/arranged second marriage to make Abdulla a sympathetic character from the start. Kavitha immediately springs to life as a real person, not merely a character, as well (I laughed out loud at the Robert Pattinson poster), and her chemistry with Abdulla is palpable. Your writing conveys a strong sense of place and cultural flavor, though at times I find the leaps between the present and the past confusing because you don't shift the verb tense for the flashbacks -- an easy fix, however!

Also, keep in mind that chapter endings should give readers something additional to make them want to go on to the next one. Your story alone is enough to make me want to know what happens next, but I think it would benefit even more from less abrupt endings.

But a great read, and one I hope to find someday at my local Barnes & Noble!

LR
Songs for Piano and Voice

Well done. You've started with a key turning point in your MC's life and set the scene well. the reader is drawn quickly into both the environment and the culture, as well as into the central conflict. We immediately empathise with your MC and see everything through his eyes. In subsequent chapters the action moves on smoothly, holding readers' interest. The bride's gradual disillusionment is skilfully handled in 6.

Your commas are sometimes mis-placed. You need hyphens in all-too-short, and gangliness is spelled thus and not with a y. These taken from various points in the novel

Best Wishes

Rosalind
Good For Him

Hi Mohanalakshmi, Abdulla’s dilemma is told with vivid description and characterizations. The feelings of his family about his marrying are handled well at the individual level as I could feel their encroachment. This has a modern feeling to an old tradition in the dialogue and especially with Alia. It promises to be even more entangling when Abdulla is in London with Hind. Fascinating for me to read! Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Powerful read. Choosing what best for you despite what society believes. This is well wiritten and sensitive to the core. C W

This was a first for me, a middle east romance novel and I'm happy to say that it curbed some negative feelings I have about the way women in that area can be treated. It is very well written and polished. The contrasts between cultures is fascinating. I think this will draw readers from a number of different genre areas.
Best of luck and a speedy trip to success.
Dawn De Remer

This was a first for me, a middle east romance novel and I'm happy to say that it curbed some negative feelings I have about the way women in that area can be treated. It is very well written and polished. The contrasts between cultures is fascinating. I think this will draw readers from a number of different genre areas.
Best of luck and a speedy trip to success.
Dawn De Remer

Backed with pleasure, Sana x

You've got such a strong writing style, it's very well written. I like reading books that are set in places I know nothing about, it means I get to learn and experience a new culture. This book did that for me, and it certainly didn't distract from me loving what you've written about. I think it's a great book, great job with this.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Sorry I don't have time for an extensive comment but wanted to say that this is beautifully written, full of excellent prose and wonderful description. Abdulla is an instantly sympathetic character and you've have brought your setting to life through the interactions of your characters and the descriptions of their way of life. Interesting, extremely well-written, an intriguing story.
---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

A provocative read and a look into a world many are not familiar with. Great POV and concept.
xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Choosing what works for your own life despite the rules of society. A very universal theme. BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

Dear Mohanalakshmi~
Your first chapter pulls the reader into Abdulla's world and his dilemma, lifting the veil for Western eyes on the pressures of stradling two worlds. Your writing is excellent: descriptive and evocative, clearly setting the scene for the reader. I look forward to reading more as time permits. Thank you for the opportunity to read your story, and thank you too for your support of The Long Black Veil.

This descriptive tale brings a western education in England side-by-side with a more traditional setting in the Arabian gulf. Both settings are believable, and nice touches that bring these places to life include Ben's cookies, and also, Turkish soap operas dubbed in Arabic! Two comments. One, I found, after the tension and lead-up to the marriage in the first half of Ch 1, the actualy decision of Fatima and marriage happened too quickly. Perhaps Ch 1 could end on "he felt the noose tighten" once his father mentions Fatima. The next chapter could start with "It happened so quickly. In a matter of days, he had a wife", something along those lines. The break in chapters warns the reader of the jump, and the tightening noose can act as a cliffhanger to get us to turn the page. Also, a really tiny comment- at the end of ch 1- "all too brief" not "all to brief". Backed!

You have a talent for characterization and a gift for descriptive prose. This is a wonderful read so far -I love to learn about different cultures and this has totally intrigued me. BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

LOVE COMES LATER
I recognize the meaning of this book’s title; my mother always said, “Marry for money; love will come later.” I didn’t follow her advice so am poor as a church mouse; but lucked out with a great wife. I liked the way this book took me inside the culture of arranged marriages; one very different from my own. You have good characters in Hind, Abdulla, and Kavitha. I think you’ll find a wide audience of young adults who want to follow them and see how all of this plays out. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Really good I loved it, backed with pleasure. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

I've backed Loves Comes Later after reading your first 2 chapters and finding within them a sensitive treatment of your premise, where we see the seeds being carefully sown of a book that will explore the emotional tension and the social strains placed upon the kind of love for which Hind, Abdulla, and Kavitha need to make it their entitlement. Powerful, emotional and topical.

Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Dear Moranalakshmi, I love how you tellabout searach for love & happiness - me memoir is similar which I wil name below. Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book to help it advance - this will help yours & mine move up on the charts. :) Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every "backing" you do moves your book & the other person's book closer to the top. :)

I think this is an important story to tell. It's written well and will appeal to your target. Backed

I think this is an important story to tell. It's written well and will appeal to your target. Backed

Backed with great pleasure! Jocelyn E. Morris (A Bore No More)

well written, story flows and holds reader, backed John Warren Lasting Images, please review, jw

As Richard Bard says, this is a wonderful glimpse into your culture and it is stated clearly so that we can benefit from it. You will do well on here and you deserve to. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Thanks for this wonderful peek into your culture. I like your writing style and I found Abdulla to be a captivating character. Excellent hook at the end of the first chapter with his attitude about getting married. Again. Well done. It's my pleasure to back your book. Best wishes.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Semi-Finalist)

Welcome aboard, Mohan. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'll be your inaugural comment. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch works. With the long pitch, do not TELL but SHOW. Also break it down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. End it with one succinct question to pique interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key