The Sacred Pool

Hi Laurence, have added your book to my watchlist and will read very soon. All the best.



M.A.Anderson
DARK LEGACY

I love this story and the mystery. After reading two chapters I am completely drawn into the storyline. Although I would break up the paragraphs a bit, I believe you have the working s a a great story that hopefully will be published someday. With a few edits this could go from a good story to a great story. Best of luck with its future. Thank you for any support you can give December Gold.

Hi Lawrence, you are going to be a very good author. You tell a great yarn and I enjoyed the first chapter. One or two points. You need to split up the sentences by capitals and full stops not just commas. Put in more emotion: Erik seems quite cool about being snuffed out at the hands of a merciless druid! Make him put up a fight! I would be careful about the phrasing: 'intense and massive power' is better in first para, I think. Also, 'unmentioned' spelt incorrectly in your pitch! 'Uncounted' might be better. You may think I am a fussy kind of guy and maybe I am. But I have been writing for fourty years so I know what I'm talking about. Anyway, good luck to you, Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

This is a thrilling story with a very authentic feel to it. I applaud your imagination and the talent to cohesively think this through and present it with good solid research. The title/cover/pitch all are very good.
You do need to work a bit on the narration to tighten things up, but then who doesn't.
You have a solid story here and it is quite entertaining.
Backed earlier.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

Hi Laurence.

I admire your inventiveness and your imagination. Your book, The Sacred Pool, has got the elements of a good novel but it needs more manipulation of your mind and well-plotted creativity. The prologue contains good detailing of ideas and the writing structures are clear and comprehensive. The characters need more vibrance to make them more interactive and realistic. Your book's thematic emphasis is good. It deals about how important time for people and that sometimes, it pressures us.

Good luck

Fletch
STORIES FROM A LEAKING MIND

Hi Laurence, Have to say, not my type of reading so handed over to hubby for comments...he has enjoyed reading your story and has said 'yo' to backing you, with pleasure. Good luck. Wish I'd had your confidence at your age to actually move with my writing. Lizzie Scott :-)

Hi Laurence,
You have an intriguing idea for a novel here. Your writing is very good for an eighteen-year-old, but there are some things here that need some work.
Your prologue is fairly well-written; certainly, I never could have written this well at eighteen (and honestly, I'm not sure I do now!). It's written more like a newspaper article than the opening of a novel, though. You're describing a highly emotional event from Erik's POV: his death. You want to emotionally engage the reader here, by describing his fear, his thoughts, the feel of the blades cutting into his flesh. He fights his fate; tell this as it happens, not just in retrospect ('...which led to the sheep wool gag...').
I found a few other nitpicky things ('alter' should be 'altar,' some misplaced/missing commas) but overall this story is quite promising. I'm happy to back this.
Best of luck!

The Sacred Pool is a marvelous idea for a novel. The writing however could be much tighter. Your paragraphs could be shorter.

In the first few lines of Chapter 1 for instance. "awakening the sleeping" the word "awaken" says it all you don't need "the sleeping".

"He woke in a bad mood because of the early morning call" is the same information you gave us in the previous sentence. also in the next line you say he swore, that tells us he was in a bad mood. This kind of repetition kills your story. I see you're over 100K words on this, so it would seem, if you give it a good going over you could easily bring it down to the average of 80K.

Backed for a good storyline...
Pamela Frost
aka scatteredfrost
Houses of Cards

Laurence,

this is a great story, research - and wonderful writing! Yes, you may still improve your dialogue - but hey - this is what this site is for: polishing and re-writing our work.

I must say - I am VERY impressed. There are many wonderful writers on this site, and your big talent certainly shines through.

Thank you for the great read!

Backed with utmost pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

Here's the Good: I wanted to like this story. It's got the stock interesting premise (ROMANS + ARCHAEOLOGISTS + THRILLING PULP YARNS = AWESOME), exotic locales, sassy women police detectives, etc. Yeah, there's probably a market for this sort of thing - put it out the same way Dan Brown did and you're likely to get some cash in the bank... except...

And you probably won't like what I have to say, so it's up to you whether you go any further.

I stopped at the end of Chapter One. Your writing needs zip; at the moment the entire thing reads like a screenplay "He got up. He answered the phone. 'Hello,' he said". I thought the first paragraph of the prologue was troublesome, but then I got to the telephone call in the first chapter. What we get is a shopping list of 'telling' - he was tall, he liked to sleep in, and so on. Instead of merely telling us these things, why not SHOW us? His anger, his booming voice, the unkempt appearance as he grips the phone and yells at this bizarre proposition. And as someone else said in an earlier review; dialogue, dialogue, dialogue. You need to show us your story, not simply tell it to us.

It's obvious you've got more than a passing knowledge of your story - your Roman history is OK, and your descriptions are passable - but there's niggling issues that slide into the sloppy. An undescribed Celtic village somewhere near a "big" lake. Why not give us more than the meagre details you do and draw us into the qualities of Celtic life. No Celtic village of Britannia ever beat off eight legions, and why are Roman troops using archers (which were reserved for auxiliary troops)? How is Barnes able to fly to Peru from the UK when the minimum flight time is 16 hours? These all might seem minor but, and I don't want to be callous, if an amateur historian of Roman-era history can pick these out, what might others do?

While your writing is strong you need a serious and judicious rewrite, not because it is singularly flawed but because it lacks the qualities that would make me sit and prick up my ears. There are problems with grammar and spelling, and there is an underlying feeling that this is a very rough draft; cut from the cloth, as it were. If you plan to rewrite, or want clarifications or details of specifics, do not hesitate to contact me.

Otherwise, I wish you the best of luck in your writing and hope you persevere. I am, of course, in a minority in my opinions. Best of British!

OK, I've read the first few chapters and i can't give any real feedback on any specific place because it is all pretty much the same, so getting into a specific area is pointless. my advice can only be to read more, and pay attention to how published writers in your genre go about the task of telling thier stories. your voice and narrative skills need to polished (in my opinion). you are attempting to narrate your way through the entire novel. i know it sounds like cliche advice but it really is true. show, don't tell. while this rule is not written in stone, it is a good rule of thumb. your prose style cannot carry the day with this much direct narration. i think you have an interesting story, and it could be marketable, but unfortunately your going to have to do some heavy rewriting and editing so that you have a more publishable form. do this before your manuscript gets to the editor's desk. you must hone your intuition. learn to catch yourself when you are telling the reader what has happened. instead work to show them what is hapening as it happens. i'll give you one example: "The three archaeologist came to a halt...." and so forth. You must get in the habbit of writing something like this.

"They stopped at the sarcophagus. The etchings were water damaged, but still they caught their breath in wonder as they looked on in awe at the ageless icons."
this brings the readr into the action. they see it as it is occurring, and are not just being told what has alread happened. does that make sense. if you get into the habbit of doing this your story and voice will be more comelling and pull the reader along.

also, ou need to really know your subject matter, the lingo and everything. Do research. I'm sure they would not refer to the images as "pictures." They are lexicons, or gliphs, or perhaps icons or something more techinical. I'm sorry I can't go into more detail but the problem is just too pervasive. You need to spend time, not just reading, but paying attention as you read, (pay close attention) so that you can copy techniques and learn from other writers. Make an effor to find your voice, and get a feel for artful narrative, then attempt to finish your book. I hope this is helpful. Sorry I don't have better news--I'm not trying to be mean, but honest point you in the right direction . i've alredy backed you, but that is not going to help. even if you get to the desk this will not be considered unless you put the work into it and revise. but this is just my opinon, so take it for what it is worth.

Whatever you decide, goodluck, and I wish you the best. I think you have a good premise, so do not give up on it.


blueboy

Hi Laurence!

I love the premise in the pitch. Just the kind of adventure I like to get wrapped up in.
A note regarding the beginning: After the birds fly away from the lake, and before the eerie silence... I think you can use a transitional sentence.
eg: Huge fir trees on the lakeside creaked in their attempts to bend and survive, some of them cracking as their tops gave in to the fists of the wind. The storm had come upon the lake with a speed that had crushed any animals' usual sense to run before it. They hid and they ran from it as best they could under its ferocity and menace. Then, as quickly as it had descended upon them, it dissipated, its fury lost from the lake waters, now gone further into the unmoving rock faces before it.
The lake and forest lay eerily quiet, the only sound...
It's a dramatic beginning, and I want the storm to really envelope me before it leaves, so that the contrast to the sudden silence is intense.

Seriously, I am enjoying the read. Your writing and imagination here has the making of a terrific adventure.
During your editing sessions, look for words repeating themselves within close proximity. (such as year and year etc.) Hit your thesaurus and replace one of them, or slightly rewrite the sentence structures to accommodate the meaning without having to repeat the word.
As others have mentioned, some sentences can be split up successfully. I have to do this when editing, as when you are writing exciting scenes it is just normal to keep writing within one sentence as the adrenaline is running high as you write. Stream of consciousness writing... It just means that your imagination is running full tilt. Yay for that.
Oh... 'enveloped by rock face' confused me. Anyway, I understand that you were internally rushing to get into the meat of the story, making the opening storm sequence shorter than it should be.
I think you have a lot of people rooting for you. I am one.
Edit this story (with your trusty 'Painless' grammar book at hand) and get it printed from a self publishing site like Blurb, so that you can hold it in your hands. And then we can buy it from there as well.
If you decide to print it, send me a note.
You're on my watch list, so I can finish reading the story. I'll likely back it then, as we've run out of time today.
gotta go...
all the best,
ian

Your long pitch could do with another look - you have a mix of present and past tenses, and a typo (unmenttioned). Many of your paragraphs are overly long - it would be better to cut them into smaller chunks, and also separate out the lines of dialogue.

I must admit that I have not read the whole chapter, but we all discover the good book from the first few lines, I do. I could read all your book, it is a compeling story. I really enjoyed reading the few paragraphs of your book, honestly. well done and good luck.

shah

In chapter 1 you capture the essence of the historical time period very well. However in both Chapters 1 and 2 I think many of your paragraphs may be too long. I would look at perhaps shortenning them.. You write very well and you don't need to over describe. I really like the premise for your book, it is character rich, you develope them well and your imaginative writing makes your novel a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning
P.S. As per your profile, a return read will be greatly appreciated.

Hi Laurence
I loved the idea of a mysterious stone. You seem to have done your research well to make the Celts/Romans storyline credible. Really engaging stuff with a strong storyline and some great descriptive language.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Your research is impressive. There are grammar and punctuation problems but that is sorted in the edit so don't fret over it. I'm sure you have enough people giving you those sort of details.

You are an imaginative writer with strong undercurrents and I think I will be seeing you in print in the future. Keep going and don't ever let anyone distract you. Cheers.

A chilling and gory first scene, but I think you've done well to retain a distanced, matter-of-fact tone. I think that the description of the wind, etc. sets a dramatic tone and I like that you personalize this ritual with Erik's thoughts. Your overall plotline, with the lost stones, is intriguing and I can tell that you've done your research here and/or are extremely creative. In the first paragraph, "emanated" should be "emanating." In the third paragraph you need a comma after "embrace." Most of the errors I saw were small like this, general typographic or punctuation issues. If you are separating two independent sentences, a semi colon is needed rather than a comma (as in the sentence beginning "Erik knew he was going to die."). In other cases, I saw sentences that just were probably too long and needed to be reconfigured or broken up. But really there wasn't a whole lot of this. Your writing, overall, is vivid and well-paced, and I like the parallelism of the Roman armies, bloody business of their own, stumbling upon this cave so many years later. Great beginning.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

This is well constructed and stands alone as an original piece of writing. Backed happily.

Paul

this well written, and will be on WL to read, i love the plot.
backed
anba
L.O.V.E

Laurence, the plot and premise are captivating and you have painted some good action packed battles. I find it hard to resist this type of mystery and myth. Some editing is needed to smooth it out a bit, (some alters where they should be altars, too), but think you show promise as a story teller and keep reading and writing. Backed. CW (To Save the Sun)

I like this, I'm not to much into reading. So every book I look at I kind of end up just stopping. I don't know why I can't keep reading I guess it's just a bad habit. Then I write haha kind of contradicting. But anyway, I liked this. I feel like it took you a long time to write this. Good job!

Hey Laurence,
A very evocative and well researched first chapter. The tone is mythical and successfully creates the mood of despair and hope of the rituals. With regard to further chapters, this is fast paced and sets the scene well. The professor is typical of archaeology officiiendos, in my experience, he could have been my own proff sadly now gone to the great dig in the sky... :0)
Well done, backed!
Millie
Crown of Thorns

Haven't been able to read much, as I am immersed in finishing my own novel, but I like the concept. Concerning the first couple of pages I read, I'd be careful about too many adjective. I find I do the same on drafts, which is why I spend twice the time rewriting and editing as I do on the original draft, cutting and re-cutting so that all that is left is the essential. I think the novel's there, and you are on the right track reworking as you mentioned.

BACKED

Thanks for the kind words about my novel.

Glad to run into another Lau Laurence-- There are too many Law's in the world. That's why I switched to Larry.

Good luck,

Larry, BLINDED

Laurence,

As previously mentioned below this is well researched and the genre appeals to me. You obviously have a passion for writing and I would encourage you to carry on. If you are serious about learning the craft of writing I would recommend reading 'Self-Editing for Fiction Writers' by Renni Brown and Dave King especially the sections on show and tell and exposition. Again, as mentioned below, read your work out aloud and rethink your comma usage.

Best of luck

Backed.

Hi Lawrence
This is well-constructed, and obviously well-researched. You bring history to life, which is great! Some wonderful imagery there, and vivid rich description. My nitpicks: your comma use isn't great - you place them wrongly or not at all. Read your sentences out loud with small pauses where the commas are (or should be!) and you'll see what I mean. Your narrative voice is quite neutral, and that works really well for works involving historical detail and background. A promising start - well done and best of luck.
--R.N.

Hello Lawrence,

Your first chapter, laid in the days of the Roman occupation of Britain, evokes the mythical rituals of the druids and the prowess of the Celtic defenders. As such, it serves as a plausible explanation for the distribution of the mysterious stones, one of which will find its way to Peru. This opening sets the stage for the thriller you envision and puts the reader on the path of high adventure, grave menace, and thrilling romance. I can confidently back "The Sacred Pool," well written and tension charged, and plan to read on. It's a page turner.

I hope my own novel, "The Doctor of Summitville," will also hook the reader. Would you like to tell me how it strikes you?

Best of luck, Bill

A truly fine fantasy thriller full of excitement and good dialogue.
Backed with pleasure. Good Luck.
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further possible backing of your book.

Hi Laurence, enjoyed your story but think the Idea of the Celts loosing very few men compared to the Romans is just to impossible. Romans were fighting men and very superior to any nation but couldn't win on this scale.
The celts would have lost a considerable amount of men in order to achieve a win even if it were possible.
This can easily be edited to make it better and enhance the story.
You have a good all round book really, so dont spoil the begining after working so hard with good description and flow throughout it. Best of luck. BACKED.

regard's,

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest)

Your Indiana "Barnes" story has all intrigue, adventure and excitement to bring you success but I agree with some of the comments below. Your style is full of life and you have a definate voice but your narrative should be broken down with greater use of dialogue. You have a natural ability to transport the reader into Professor Barnes' adventure but when the narrative "tells" more than it "shows" then the magic is lost. You have the makings of a great story but make every word in the story fight for its existance.
I have already backed your book and would do so again.
Good luck young man.
Laurence
The Cross of Goa

I love your story. It is so unique and interesting I am enjoying it very much so far. It is a really good read. I have no critisicms, I love your dialogue and I look forward to reading more. Best wishes and good luck
Anna

An interesting set up for the stones. Poor Erik didn't last long. I thought the writing in that first part was good, but felt a bit overwritten at times, things explained and described in a little too much detail than necessary. A matter of opinion though. The narrative there was a little flat, they mean to sacrifice him, then they do. Would be more interesting, imo, if it wasn't so straightforward.

The Roman attack also went very smoothly. You gave no hint of why the celts usually won, nor what the stones or scarifice did for them. Made it feel a bit unconvincing. I would have been more intersted in what happens next if I had an inkling of their power, even if it isn't direct or even true.

The way the stones get split up and lost was a bit perfunctory. Felt you could have made more of that.

Barnes is an intersting character and his grouchy attitude is quite endearing. The writing again feels longwinded at times and information lie what he packed and his journey to peru felt like it was too detailed. Also, the big paragraphs made it a slow read. I would suggest breaking it up a bit, especially with dialogue. The general convention is a new paragraph every time someone speaks.

Overall there are some good ideas and characters here and certainly what feels like the start of an adventure. Backed.

Dear Lawrence, I love the idea of power in the stone. I thought I head read this book before. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

Hi Laurence,

Thanks for backing 'Coins of Justice', but on to your work.

I have the impression you think of a scene you like, but do not consider if it is believable.

Vespasian moved through the ranks to make General in three years.!!!

One thousand Romans were killed and not one villager!!! (another had three villagers dead against ROMAN LEGIONS - I stress LEGIONS - plural??) A Legions comprised THOUSANDS of highly trained men.

Villagers charged the Roman legions!!! The one constant in all Roman military action was their success against a charging mob.

Romans butchered either by swords or spears of the foot soldiers.... or arrows from every angle.
Surely the arrows would have hit as many sword and spear bearing Celts as Romans!!!

The stones were being shipped to become Imperial treasure, so why use MERCENERY sailors. There were enough Roman ships around to carry the stones.

I found myself so distracted that I could not get into the prologues. I would like to suggest that you curb your desire to complete your work and take time to make sure your story is believable.

You have a good plot, be thoughtful.

Regards

Leon Ashworth

I've read six chapters. I agree with Silent storm it needs a little tightening. I should add to this, try to avoid as in chapter two begining lots of sentences with He. It jars the reader and stops flow. Perhaps you'd understand it you counted them. Otherwise it has the makings of a good first book and you should keep working on it.
Keith

Lawrence Brammer:

First let me say that this is a story that is filled with intrigue right from the start - in the prologue. To help it really shine though it needs to be tightened. Here are some of the things that I found during my reading. Feel free to use if you feel warranted; discard if you don't.

The sentence: The huge fir trees that lined the waters edge rustled, the animals scurried deeper into the forest, afraid of the destruction that was evident around them, the skies were filled with birds of all types flying away from the lake." is quite long - and a run on.

Consider: The huge fir trees that lined the waters' edge rustled. Animals scurried deeper into the forest afraid of the destruction around them. The skies were filled with birds--flying away from the lake." (If you just say 'birds', one can assume that there are more than just one kind flying about, so you can delete 'all kinds of birds') Notice also that I cut some words, as they really added no value, but the message was the same, once deleted. For example: 'that was evident'.

Another sentence: The chanting ceased as quickly as it had started as it was enveloped by the rock-face that rose from the ground as a column of pain going up towards the sky like a beacon to the gods (Confusing)

Consider: The chanting ceased as quickly as it had began enveloped by rock-face, that arose from the ground as a column of pain, ascending the sky like a beacon to the gods.

Yet another: Eric knew he was going to die even before it happened, he had known for days now that it was his turn to die." (Too wordy)

Consider: Erick knew it was his turn to die; he had known for days." (This makes the same point but with less words) Each word, sentence, and paragraph must have some specific reason for being - to move the script forward.

Another sentence: Even though Erik knew he was going to die he didn't want to, which lead to the sheep wool gag they had put on him to keep him quiet, but he refused to go quietly and protested all the way." (run-on)

Consider: "Erik protested; he refused to go quietly. He was bound and gaged to keep him quiet." It makes the same point but with fewer words.

I believe this has the potential of being a very good story. You lay the PROBLEM right out front - no question about the task facing the MC. Just clean it up a bit; I think you've got a winner! Best Wishes. Happily Backed.

Ida L. (Silent Storm)

i'm all up for the genre, but short crit cause you lost me - i think for this genre keep it really simple, short paragraphs, bit of dialogue, nothing fancy.

also, lightning, i think. second line.

the paragraphs were too heavy for me, so i only read a bit, but please don't feel obliged to read mine.

plus, just my opinion, and i'm really lazy. good luck.

a very enjoyable read, gripping from the start, backed

alison
--who wants to diet anyway?
--legal lies

Very good read, I felt compelled to read the chapters all the way through. Your structure could use a little work but that's it. Everything else is the essence of greatness. Backed with confidence.

Hi Laurence
I've read the early chapters and go along with previous comments that there is potential here for a great read, but I would prefer to see shorter paragraphs to help the pace of the story.
More dialogue to break up long sections of text and to help the reader better relate to your characters would, I believe, greatly enhance your book.
Otherwise, well done, and I wish you every success.
Bill Long
www.storytellersworld.com

Hi Laurence,

I was quite impressed with your work. The plot is strong and intriguing. The characters are realistic and vivid. I love the concept of the Lucian Stones, and I think the stones add a touch of fantasy to the story--which is right up my alley. I wish you luck as you climb to the Editor's Desk.

Backed 100%

Patrick Armstead
Dark Lands

Few things to clean up but we all have that. I am well impressed and entertained. Great story telling balances imagination, pace and believability. You've got all the right ingredients here.

I've read most of the prologue and some of Chapter One - I like your writing style, and the premise you state in your pitch definitely could have "legs". However, I am distracted by some typos/misspellings/punctuation... I'd be happy to do a read through and make some corrections if you need help or want a fresh set of eyes. Check my profile if you'd like. For now, for it's potential, backed.

cookingskewl
friend of 'Sons of Apollyon'

I think perhaps the second paragraph would make a more dramatic start to the story than the first which describes a storm and hints at the ceremony described in detail later. Erik's sacrifice may have staved off attacks for a while, but complacency opens the village to the onslaught of the Romans. Back in the modern day, Professor Barnes is thrilled to be going to Peru, to escape the everyday routine of Oxford University. When he gets there, it's a mixed blessing of archaeological conundrums, bad driving and snakes.

Shades of Indiana Jones in this plot where ancient history and modern crime collide to endanger the two main protagonists. It's well written, but at the moment seems slightly breathless, as though written down in the heat of inspiration. Now a little thinning here, more detail there, kind of editing will add polish (some suggestions below). It's very promising material, and I'm happy to back it.

Possible nits: Pitch: 'unmenttioned [unmentioned]'. Story: 'the chanting of the druids start', this is a switch to present tense from past tense ... 'where he was tied', switches back. 'alter [altar] and stone circle'. 'mite [might] of the Roman Gods'. Professor Barnes would need more detail than the very short telephone conversation to make such a decision. 'Vauxwagon beatle [beetle]'.

Break the longer paragraphs into smaller chunks, especially to separate the dialogue out from the narrative, and every time there is a change in speakers.

Dear Laurence Brammer,

The Sacred Pool seems action-packed and intricate and adventuresome and well executed.

All best wishes and backed.

Please have a look at CBGB Was My High School.

GK Stritch

Great Line: "Erik knew he was going to die even before it happened..." Imagery is very vivid with this and the writing flows naturally. My only peve was that you used the phrase 'spilled blood' a few too many times in the prolog.

Backed,

Marise

Generally this is well written, but you need to reconsider the lengths of many of your paragraphs. These really need splitting up - fopr example where you introduce dialogue. Overall, though, an impressive read. Backed with pleasure. Colin

Great stuff Laurence. You've a masterful application of knowledge and history at work here that makes this a delightful read.

Laurence,
As requested I have had a look and will comment.
As I finished your prologue (with particular reference to the better second section) I had a strong sense of the ancient time period you wanted to create.
That was essential and it meant that the contrast with the present was apparent.
Not every writer achieves that, so very well done!

However, to really stand out from the competition your prose needs to be better,more imaginative and more polished. It just didn't grab me enough to read on, bearing in mind I have read lots of novels in this genre.
However, given what you have achieved, that should be an improvement well within your grasp in the near future and I wish you all the very best in your career.
Regards
J.

Dear Laurence,
You have an exciting time period, which is rich with myth and legend, and like the idea of the magical stones--what can they do when they are all together? All the elements are there for a great story--magic, druids, vast riches, vaster greed, intrigue, mystery, etc. etc.
You do need to line edit and one thing that I think would help the reader. In a dialogue, you seperate speakers with a paragraph, i.e Joe said, "I want the gold."
Marco said, "Well, you are not going to get it all."
I like the history, the archeology, the history. Best of luck.
Caroline
KC Hart
Summer Rose