Mage of Winds: Book II of the Saga of the Elements

this is a good book for young adults, as you weave two worlds together with success.
j

Hi Sylia,
I love your story, written perfectly for young adults, with great, relatable characters in both worlds.
As I see you've been in the process of uploading and editing your book, I'll point out a few errors and distractions that occur. It will save you time and as your book flies up the ranks, it needs to be more than perfect for that editors desk.
Chapter one: Try to lose 'goodness knows what'.... and put something, anything, 'girly stuff' or 'and other adournments'. Agents and editors hate these kind of cliches.
Throughout the book you have quotation marks missing or full stops missing in quotation marks. Many in chapter six and eleven "...........a Michael Bridges? No quotation mark.
I'm not criticising your writing, merely trying to help you pinpoint things, I hate reading through my own work over and again only to find that I've still missed things.
Your style is worthy of a published author, I wish you all the luck.
Pollyanna. 'Marsupeople'.

Hello Sylvia,
Just started Mage of the Winds
Ch.1
“…became the go-between castle and village.” Another ‘between’ or maybe the “…messenger between…”
“When I saw that bright light I though…” should be thought. Also the same paragraph uses “When I saw…” twice.
“He heart leapt as she…” should be “Her”
“…men who would have advised him, dead in the fighting.” Lose the comma and change to “died.”
“Waterford Chrystal” is ‘crystal’
Ch.2
“Anna sat in the kitchen being fused over…” Ha, ha, typos are funny sometimes.
Ch.3
Two different spellings of ‘willco’ neither of which are in my dictionary but I think one ’L’ is correct.
“Riken” should be “Rikan” twice that I saw.
Ch.4
“…ran back a few feet and tuned to…” should be ‘turned’
Riken again
Ch.5
“…car thought three intersections…” clever car? = ‘through’
Ch.6
“…rather than…” not ‘then’
“…the truth was at the monastery…” not ‘as’
“…hanging bellow.” Pigeons coo bulls bellow = below
“…they both though he might…” = thought
“He bypassed the hours?????
Ch.9
“…line of soldiers baring their…” oo la la! Barring methinks.
“…crowing in behind” = crowding
“…it’s had to say…” = hard
Ch.10
“…he curtains were closed…” = the
Biggest disappointment is that it’s not finished – well done so far.
Best wishes, Charles Dyer (Mach100)

Mage of Winds - A wonderful continuation of the Fire Wizard. If you are planning on all the elements I look forward to the next episode. Backed with pleasure. Last time you backed my first book Kianda Mala. Can I persuade you to look at my second?
Kristen Stone
Shattered Dreams

Sylvia, you have joined together two worlds and two differnet era's, I don't know how you have done this, but the way you have, really works. I love SF and this is something different, although it reminds me of a few books I have read, it stands out for its simplicity and great style. I love it. backed and wishing you the best of luck.
Norman. (Fromante)

Sylvia, you have a great storyline. The premise is strong; the pace is steady and characterizations compelling. I really liked the plot-- and the writing is good. You have a flair for building tension that explodes off the page, creating action that propels the story forward.
Great storytelling
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Hi SyIvia, just don't know how you sound so normal and matter of fact in putting this complexity of structures together! Brilliant is all I can say. Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

Mage of winds
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

It reads well so far except that the beginning sounds unlike a beginning. I would prefer more of a lead in. Otherwise, well written and good luck in finishing it. Backed you.
Lara
Good for Him

The roman numerals slowed my read somewhat because it's been a long time since I had to use them. If they are dates (I'm not exactly sure of their meaning at that point in the storyline.) A suggestion is to use italics to convert the numbers into everyday usage for other readers as well with the italics showing a thought process. The description of clothing, and other physical characteristics of the characters might be enhanced. A very interesting storyline. Backed. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures & Literary Agent Blues)

And a great sequel. Marj.

The structure of the novel of moving between the two very different settings that the two characters find themselves in works well. I like the "jar" of moving from modern to elder societies. Backed. (Hope you get a chance to look at my book.)

Tom Kepler
The Stone Dragon

Hi Sylvia
I didn't read the first book in the series but I enjoyed what I read of this. Some really vivid descriptions and a great plot. You build the suspense neatly with some great dialogue. All the best with it.
DP Walker
Five Dares

What you have posted so far is well written and your use of short paragraphs and snappy dialogue keeps the pace of your work flowing nicely. Your use of imagery is excellent and your character development is well done. Backed for your sci fi fantasy's potential.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Mage of Winds - Chapter one hooked me in nicely and chapter two added to the intrigue. You are a talented writer but I think perhaps you have proved that already with your first book.
Happy to back your book and wish you luck with finishing it.
Alice Haro
Interfering Busybody

I haven;t read the first book but I was instantly swept up by this.The story is classic fantasy scifi, right up my street and I found myself immersed completely as the story unfolded. There is a really epic feel in the story with the impression of a thousand other worlds out there waiting to be explored. Well done.

Sylvia, I have been reading your book and loved the unfolding story line. Some of your words in the first chapter, I felt, could be dropped as you had already captured me to read on and created good imagery. I will say that this promises to be a good read for me even though my work is non-fiction. You certainly have talent and great use of language to create a moving picture that I wanted to stay with. If you could read a couple of chapters of my work or more, I would greatly appreciate it, as the comments from someone who has obvious talent, would be fruitful. BACKED

Dear Sylvia, I discovered that you have a 2nd book & will back it. I backed your 1st book 23 days ago. Hope you'll write III. :) You have nice crisp paragraphs & dialogue. :) Love, Susie :) Could you take a moment to back my 2 memoir books? Thanks. :)

i love the genre, your style. this is a very good book...
su dan...read SEASONS...

i love the genre, your style. this is a very good book...
su dan...read SEASONS...

backed

Hi Sylvia and how are you? I just want to say, that this kind of work is not my usual thing, but after reading your pitch, and of course, some of your book, to which I will be reading more of, I have to say that I have really enjoyed, no, loved what I have read so far. I like the way you write. I want to back this with enormous pleasure.

Backed indeed.

Hope you get a little chance to take a peek at The Russian Hat.

Sincerly
Brendan Doherty
The Russian Hat