Book Jacket

 

rank 5463
word count 50836
date submitted 15.05.2010
date updated 29.10.2010
genres: Biography, Travel, Harper True Life...
classification: universal
complete

DAYMARES-Based on a True Story

Novena Beget

DAYMARES is the account of a girl facing alcoholism and the guilt of believing that she is responsible for her mother's death.

 

Twinkling lights and champagne music back drop this highly stylized venture that gives readers a view to the joys and heartaches of a girl born in the 1960’s.
The TALON’S marry and have two children. Their blissful existence is shattered when NAOMI discovers her mother's body one Sunday morning. SANDRA’S death virtually destroys her surviving children; they suffer double abandonment when their grieving father leaves the home, unable to cope.
Naomi falls into the care of neighbors, with whom a life-long struggle for self begins. She is the star child who battles for the attention of her new mother figure BETH and meets JESUS. Her escapade takes her across the country and back as she resists facing unfinished business back "home."
Can Naomi find fulfillment as a single woman?

DAYMARES is complete at 50,000 words

 
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tags

absorbing, alcoholics anonymous, journal style writing, wild ride

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74 comments

 

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Walden Carrington wrote 322 days ago

Novena,
Thanks for sharing this harrowing true life account. I'm always drawn to works which have a strong Christian message, especially those which appeal to the emotions as this one does. It takes a special writer to share such private thoughts and memories with the public and I admire your bravery in doing so.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

Intriguing Trails wrote 345 days ago

Day Mares
Nonfiction bibliography, based on a true story. 1st person

Pitch: This is a grabbing pitch, written much like a formal synopsis.

Premise; A bibliography of a woman growing up in the 60s; a result of her mother's suicide and the experiences of life that shaped her.

Prose, well written and fairly engaging through Ch 1, with a very strong narritive voice which is common with bibs. I hunger for some showing as opposed to telling. The genre' invites telling, but IMO, it would be a stronger piece with a balance of telling/showing.

Pacing; well paced.

Mechanics: Very strong.

Characters are well developed through Ch 1, though I felt very disengaged to the MC. There wasn't anything compelling to make me care about her. Then I felt like a heel because I didn't particularly care about the little girl. I think with more showing and emotional engagement early on, there would be a stronger connection. When the baby brother was brought home, for example, showing the emotional reaction might capture the reader. Just a suggestion.

Other issues: in the "pitch" within the book, 1st paragraph the tense switches from past to present. Just an observation. It might be intentional, but it pulled me out of the read and I re-read the paragraph. Any time I do that, it sends up red flags.

Overall, While this isn't a genre' that I normally find interesting, I thought it was a strong presentation and it read fairly smoothly.

Raechel
Echo

mrsdfwt wrote 360 days ago

Novena,
I'm reading through chapter one, and i thought i'd comment as i read. Your book is very compelling and so far i admire the way your family interacts, especially your father's great disposition. Sometimes our very beginnings are what really make us the people we turn out to be.
I ran into a few questions as i read:
You spent the day at Tory's. So far i don't think this person has been introduced.
I also wondered why your mother was stressed when you moved to the new home, and why she appeared uncomfortable. This is a great opportunity for you to "show" your feelings. Later on you mention that she needed an escape, so the reader needs to know what's going on with your mom.

When you were drowning in the pool with Kurt, you say "I felt something help us". Maybe you can "show" here as well.
These are just my thoughts, go with what works best for you.
Best of luck with it, the potential is there. :)
Maria
Dark of the Moon

A. Zoomer wrote 426 days ago

Novena,
Fabulous pitches. I like your use of capitals for the characters.
In the long pitch, I might add a space between each paragraph to make it easier to read on the screen.
I look forward to reading Daymares.
Going Out In Style,
a zoomer

curiousturtle wrote 428 days ago

Novena,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

The first thing that jumps here is the style. Is a moment by moment perception where every moment is a dangling act promising the next to have the same urgency....

..... and that you deliver.

The jewel of the narrative however is the haunting tone with which you recall the very painful memories that I assume, led you to write this memoirs. For, there is a fair amount of self searching and self reflecting, of looking at yourself from the dispassionate perspective of the "looker" rather than the "feeler'

For that reason, you narrative gets really started with this paragraph:

"My first experience with physical trauma....."

That is where I would start.

Then I would select the emotional "markers", that is the events like the episode of the chin, and build every chapter around one of them. So that instead of jumping from subject to subject, you allow the reader to get into your emotional map through detailed, methodic description. Transform the reader into a camera eye, so that he can become a fly in the wall, as you first narrate the episode with all the attention to detail that would make you "the looker" while the reader becomes "the feeler"

Then reflect on that incident, with all the detachment and involvement that time and memory create, so that the reader can create a connection between what was done to you, and the effect it had on you as you became the person you are.

Hope it helps

David

SusieGulick wrote 464 days ago

Dear Nancy, As you requested, I'm answered you on your comment page. :) So happy to hear from you :) - the # under your book cover 3563 is where you are from the editor's desk - the # under your profile is just # of top talent spotter. Love, Susie :) p.s. thanks for keeping my book on your shelf to help me. :) I'm praying for your school work & finances. :) pps. I will copy/paste this to your message page, too. :)

Anthony Brady wrote 559 days ago

DAYMARES - BASED ON A TRUE STORY by Novena Beget.

Novena's book is a personal De Profundus: "Out of the depths, I cried to you Oh Lord. Lord hear my voice..." This plea echoes through her story and bestows upon it a thematic coherence. Her facing up to alcoholism, is not a recourse to her accepting it as a disease - and in so doing neatly absolving herself from deliberate self harm - but accepting it to be learned behaviour that has to be 'unlearned.' Through recourse to a higher power, the author of this edifying journal, develops a person relationship with Jesus Christ her Saviour. Her journey leads ultimately to redemptive freedom from alcohol dependence and along the way she creates, through her spiritual development and perceptive journal, a pathway for others similarly afflicted to follow. This is her triumph and to her be the glory.

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

treega wrote 577 days ago

I always like to read true stories so am watchlisting your book for now. In reading your first chapter, I wondered if writing it in the third person might make it read more like a story rather than a diary. But maybe that is what you intended, which is fine.
Treega, Mary Magdalene; My Story

Crowel wrote 629 days ago

The best stories are always the true ones. I sincerely applaud you for writing this. Not only do you have a great story to tell but you have a natural talent in writing. Backed.

Lacey

Nancy Bush wrote 630 days ago

9-1-2010

Congratulations to the top 5 authors for the month of September. Good luck to each one of you with your books!

Nancy Bush
DAYMARES - Based on a True Story

Kidd1 wrote 654 days ago

You certainly experienced more pain than any young girl should. I admire your courage and tenacity. Backed.

I hope you will give mine a read and back it if you like it.
Best,
Robert
Golden Conspiracy

lizjrnm wrote 655 days ago

This is such an interesting read - you have had a unique and intriguing journey. Thanks for sharing it with us. Best of luck with this - it will do well - talented writing. Backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

CarolinaAl wrote 657 days ago

You provide us a poignant true story with an intelligent, thought provoking storyline and fascinating characters. Rich imagery. Polished writing. Backed.

Tom Bye wrote 658 days ago

dear NOVENA 'DAYMARES'

nice to read a biography for a change i say; to myself , and how glad i have.
this is one sad story and written from the heart with love. it is written with great detail which is absorbing.
its a definate page turner. i just can't stop. 'can she reach fulfillment' i will read more to find out .
BACKED with pleasure
TOM BYE ' FROM HUGS TO KISSES'
please back/ comment mine if you have time., thanks

NA Randall wrote 659 days ago

Novena

The strength of your pitch (short and long) drew me in, and I wasn't disappointed by the strong narrative voice and the high quality of the writing here. Yours seems to have been quite a journey, and in the opening chapter posted here, you have made a fine start in telling your story. Happy to give you my backing, and hope to dip in for some more when I have more time.

Regards

NA 'A Red Sky in Morning' & 'Tales of Ordinary Sadness'

Pia wrote 661 days ago

Novena -

Daymares - based on a True Story - I like the congruent voice, free of ornamentation, telling a poignant story in a way that trancendes the personal. Excellent writing, too.

Backed with pleasure, Pia (Course of Mirrors)

name falied moderation wrote 661 days ago

Dear Novena
loved the book cover the first time around and also the second... I have already commented and backed you \r book some time ago but cannot find the backing ...I will be doing it again just to make sure it is WORTH IT
Best ofluck
Denise
The Letter

Sly80 wrote 668 days ago

'The adults looked ragged and worn by a life distant and foreign ... scenes straight from The Grapes of Wrath'. You have a nice way with words as you recount the highs and lows of your life. From your early childhood, I love your father's name calling of you and your brother. I also love the account of all the food, though some of it sounds more appealing than others. The troubles are there even at an early stage, but happiness keeps the shadows small and faint. In fact there were times of really good fun, the camping for a start, aside from the near-drownings...

But it all comes crashing down. A tragedy made worse by the child being the one to make the discovery. The funeral is heartbreaking, then the child taking on the role of mother for her little brother, but at least Aunt Paula provides some respite while she lives. Can you still drink at 18 in New York?

This is a cornucopia of memories, an honest opening up of a life for examination, because there are pieces of us all in there. Some of us have escaped that level of tragedy; a few may not have survived as well as the writer has. But it's brave stories such as this one that confirm our humanity, allow us to forgive our weaknesses, and awaken our empathy ... backed.

Possible nits: You could perhaps make it a bit clearer at the beginning what your parent' origins were. I gather your father's were Dutch, but the mention of your mother bowing made me wonder about hers. 'that is [it] was good for me'. 'She lie [lay] on her stomach'. 'Dad was pissed', it might not matter if it's a purely American audience, but 'pissed' in the UK can mean drunk, unlike 'pissed off' which means angry. Maybe something simpler, 'Dad was furious / livid / fuming'?

When used as in 'my mom and dad' they have a small m and d, but when used as proper names, as in 'Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad', they have capitals.

nsllee wrote 668 days ago

Hi Novena

The "snapshot" technique works well to draw us into your story, particularly with your direct prosestyle and the small telling details that make it come real for the reader. Effectively done. Backed.

Nicole (Chosen)

Njoy14u wrote 671 days ago

Nancy Daymares is a very interesting story, sad at times, finding her mother dead and watching her father morn.
At times it seems emotionless, handing her her mothers jewelry and some of her personal items.
Its more of a narrative there than a sense of how she felt and how her Dad felt giving her these personal items. Maybe that is what abandonment does. Each of finds a way to cope with the sadness/tragedies in our lives.
I've finished the frist three chapters.
Great start and my best
Njoyed
*Moods and expressions*

KW wrote 672 days ago

I've had a lot of daymares in my five decades of existence. I can relate to the concept. I'm glad you uploaded the complete text since I can go through it when I get a little more time. I can relate to your mother's hate of Watergate, but I loved the way it brought down Nixon. I agree with your fear of "The Birds," which was one of Hitchcock's best. I pity you in having to find your mother dead.

After reading a couple more chapters, I noticed how you fell in to drinking and drugs, and how you sobered up, had problems with you first husband. I'll be back to read more when I can. Backed for now.

MMQ wrote 674 days ago

This sounds a very interesting story. I will read on and comment again.

JoeHellis wrote 676 days ago

This book really touches to the heart of many matters. I found it to be one of those books that I didn't want to put down. Your long pitch sold me to have a look in the first place, and I'm glad I did! Good luck with it on here!

Telegraph wrote 677 days ago

This is and awesome read. Polished and refined in charcter and diolouge that were so carefully crafted to keep us focused and totally engaged until the last word. C W

andrew skaife wrote 677 days ago

Well time passes quickly when you're enjoying yourself and I coursed through seven chapters before I realised I had work to do!

Your writing style is clear, distinct and your voice somehow comes bubbling to the surface with a smooth quality. It is actually as close to unique as modern writing can get.

That familial relationship that was seemingly so idyllic to be torn away so bitterly is a wrench to the reader.

A crystal story amongst glass. Excellent, uncomparable and pure.

BACKED with more than pleasure.

andrew skaife wrote 679 days ago

I want to give this detailed comments but it is 2 in the morning. I will give more commentary tomorrow!

andrew skaife wrote 679 days ago

I want to give this detailed comments but it is 2 in the morning. I will give more commentary tomorrow!

andrew skaife wrote 679 days ago

BACKED because it deserves it in its own right as a text.

Backed because the subject deserves.

Just plain backed.

DP Walker wrote 680 days ago

Hi Novena
This is a moving story , beautfully told and very heartfelt. What I liked most was the way you laid things out nice and clearly at the beginning. I do think your pitch needs a little work though to draw more readers in. I think you almost tell too much of the story and don't leave the reader enough hooks Just a suggestion though -overall I liked it.
DP Walker
Five Dares

julia kay wrote 682 days ago

Great pitch...got my attention straight away. Boby building wow! Great story. Keep up the great work! Julia x

Steven Rineer wrote 689 days ago

Great beginning...painful and close to home subject matter.

Good luck, Steven Rineer Technicolor Eulogies

Robert King wrote 690 days ago

Thank you for tackling what looks like a very difficult subject to address.
Robert

Johanna Kern wrote 692 days ago

Novena,

I was swept away by your storytelling talent!

Thank you for sharing this important, beautiful story with us, here on authonomy.

Backed with so much pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

udasmaan wrote 692 days ago

Very promissing start. Well done.

Shah

lisawb wrote 696 days ago

A book written with passion and talent. This is a courageous story told with great emotion and descriptions. It is captivating, and significant as it is non fiction.Interesting and backed easily.(Has been for a good while)

Ww Lisa

Su Dan wrote 702 days ago

great title. quite different from what thought when started reading. the fact that its true and christian makes it an interesting book= on watchlist...
read SEASONS...

nakiacap wrote 710 days ago

I found this story very intriguing and now that my mother would enjoy this story.
Backed!

NJ Capaldi
Crescent Heart

Despinas1 wrote 711 days ago

This is an amazing story, with a pitch that draws the reader to attention.
Backed with pleasure
Helen

David Kidd wrote 713 days ago

My wife will relate to this one as people made her feel guilty for her father's death, but thank God He reassured her she wasn't. regards David

cat5149 wrote 713 days ago

This is a beautifully written moving story. Backed, with pleasure.

Carol

Barry Wenlock wrote 714 days ago

Hi Novena,

I read chapter one and enjoyed your recollections of family, kin and school life. You have a nice style and write clearly and well.

I made a few notes which I hope are helpful, but feel free to ignore.

In your opening pitch the word 'noted' is an active verb in the past tense ( I noted). You intend a passive meaning ( I was noted for)

What is tow-headed?

Demons of fear and monster of fear in one paragraph.

individuals and ( no comma is needed -- two separate clauses)

You mention your father's gig twice but there seems no other reference in chapter one to his music. Did he play at home, sing etc?

BACKED!

Barry (LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS)

Tope Apoola wrote 715 days ago

DAYMEARES is so down-to-earth and sweet. There is something about the book that is right!

Tope Apoola
Times of the supermen.

Tope Apoola wrote 715 days ago

DAYMEARES is so down-to-earth and sweet. There is something about the book that is right!

Tope Apoola
Times of the supermen.

Littlestar-451 wrote 715 days ago

After skimming the first chapter I find this a very readable and interesting book :-) I think this book will hold a lesson for anyone who chooses to learn it. I look forward to reading more. Happily backed and shelved :D

Rachel Fusher (Redemption)

mclevin wrote 715 days ago

An engaging and highly important book. I hesitated clicking it open, as this will prove to be a difficult read for me. On New Year's day 2007, I lost my brother Jeff to complications (septic shock/stomach bleeding) brought on by chronic alcoholism.

I applaud you for sharing this story. As you'll see, I prefer to write literary satire/humor and joke around rather than delve into my non-fictional struggles.

Backed.

g
(Notes on an Orange Burial)

teremoto wrote 717 days ago

An endearing memoir that evokes strong emotions brought to the surface by a very fluid, direct and vivid writing style.

Nancy Bush wrote 719 days ago

Dear Authonomy.com supporters and friends,

DAYMARES - Based on a True Story by Novena Beget aka Nancy Bush has a Facebook Fan Page now.
Your splendid comments are more than welcome there, as I am single handedly attempting to market the book. I could not have reached this level of confidence and ambition had it not been for you - the Authonomy.com community. You are and will remain my favorite group of writer's in all of Cyber Space.

Thank you sincerely,
Nancy Bush

DMR wrote 721 days ago

Daymares is thoroughly compelling.. I felt it was very easy to get into the story, right from the first few paragraphs, and found myself reading with heart in throat during some of the later chapters.. while I haven't sampled all of this amazing story, I do feel that there will be an uplifting, courageous ending and look forward to hearing how you've triumphed over diversity
Backed and best wishes
Diane
Good Blood

Owen Quinn wrote 721 days ago

Heartbreaking and a fine example of the phrase life can turn on the flip of a coin. Bad things seem to happoen to good people and the tragedies of life shape who we are. at times this is so emotional, you want to reach in and help her through her pain. Well done.

Author apart from the rest wrote 722 days ago

Novena,

What a fantastic book Title! Your plug entices the reader to want to have this book on their personal bookshelf! I hope you make it to the big time! Backed!

Rob

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