Mistaken For Angels...On The Trip From Hell?!

Its like two different people writing - the final chapter is so different from its predecessors. It's eerily beautiful' and i he (wish) you to "fix" the others. Your writing/obsrvations are worth listening to - but the voice is sometimes off, makes its difficult to keep going. Nonetheless, with heavy editing, you might have a book in there. Good pluck.

Mistaken for angels . . .
Interesting story, but could use some editing
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Interesting story, although some of the writing felt a bit stilted at times. There seem to be a lot of short incomplete sentences. For example:
I left to chase money. Which landed me squarely in Portland, Oregon. Working in the shipyards as a structural steel welder.

That's basically ne sentence broken into three. This could be just the style you've decided to use but personally i found it very hard to get any flow going. Very stop start.

Overall an intersting premise. Backed.

This was a cathartic read for me [well the first 3 chapters were]. Eric, this is a very 'open and honist' story. I can not tell you how much I can empathise with this book. Best wishes. BACKED.
I would appreciate you reading something of my childrens' book ; Paperbats. Ch.2 is a quick read.
Jerry [paperbat]

I Have added your book in my WL and will get to it sooner or later, hope sooner.

Cheers Pamela Wootton 'The Outrage'

Sorry about that....bitch of a page redirected me 4 times....this doesn't mean you've been backed X4 lol

Real fly on the wall stuff....very readable....backed.

ASC
Violet Hiccup

Real fly on the wall stuff....very readable....backed.

ASC
Violet Hiccup

Real fly on the wall stuff....very readable....backed.

ASC
Violet Hiccup

Real fly on the wall stuff....very readable....backed.

ASC
Violet Hiccup

Eric - you have a unique voice. A great odyssey.

I've read the first 3 chapters and will read more when I get time.

I note that the full manuscript if 145,000 words. That may be too many words for a commerical publisher to risk on an unpublished writer. You might need to think about cutting it a bit. I believe the average size of a first novel - and I know this isn't a novel - is about 90,000 words.

In ch 1. I dodn't understand this: "even talked her in to leaving her mother's side of teh two countries thta is Sweden"

Also in ch1: It's Bear Grylls

Backed

Andy Bradford

If yu have time, would you care to look at Live Eels and Grand Pianos? Thanks

Great start, makes you want to read on. Have you considered intrducing your characters in a slightly more roundabout way - for example you talk aboaut the way you met Sophie (my wife). Could you not leave the explanation for a bit and let the reader work that out for themselves? You've obviously got a great story here so keep going. Will look forward tp backing the finished product Jaye Hill The Fantasy Trip

Hello – Just so that you know, I tend to comment as I read, as if I was thinking aloud, and I don’t crit grammar etc. because there are plenty of people who are much better qualified that I on this site. If I have read your book and commented it is because I enjoyed it and truly believe it has value and so I don’t often make negative comments. The exception is if you have specifically asked me to read and then I believe that you deserve an honest opinion.

Mistaken for Angels – Return Read

I don’t read much non-fiction on this site but here we go:-

This is in need of a really good edit for grammatical errors, but then I bet you already know that don’t you.

I think that I will leave backing this for now. You obviously have a story to tell and I look forward to reading it at some time however, the grammatical errors are so very basic that I get the feeling this is a first draft and so will save my vote when you are more ready for the desk. Good luck with your continuing work - Diane

You have so eloquently polished the image of a fair amount of people in today's society. Scrabbling to find where they belong, career and/or status-wise. I like the rawness of it! Excellent read indeed!
Carrie
The Darkwood Tales: Demouri's Defeat

Joe - don't polish this, it's much better left as it is. Polishing it could ruin it.
As far as the grammar, spelling, punctuation are concerned, I've read much worse on Authonomy by people who think that they are geniuses of literature.
You have my very best wishes for this book - you seem to be far more clear-thinking about the state and ethics of the USA than many a well-paid and well-insulated politician - I hope that your book becomes a modern classic.
RT

Dear Eric
I have already commented on your book and just wanted to say finished the read. well as far as one can....you really did take me on a roller coaster and i must say this is no ordinary book, so would encourage others to take a ride with you for sure. I cannot find the backing i gave you so will do it again just to make sure
Best of luck
Denise
The Letter

In Mistaken for Angels, Eric Shira's prose reads like an epic poem which unravels the mysteries of his past. His original style enchants the reader of this true life account. Backed with pleasure.

Eric,

This is an incredible candid story. I think your voice comes through in a refreshing way. I certainly would not have it over edited. With a proofreading or even proofreading software, I think it is awesome.

It is an eye opening acount, which you tell well with mixed emotions appropriate to the situations.
The undertone was that it was written with an honest loving care and attention to integrity. Somehow, how a story is written always peeks through the text.

Backed!
I wish you great luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

Love travel, humour, drama and real life adventure, please try ' the compulsive adventurer' Thanks Mike

Very heart felt story. Great writing style. I can relate to the disappointment of money... not sure I even learned to play the game and could relate to the rookie comment. It is sad to see that most people are only interested in money these days. Keep up the great work. Julia

Eric is a likable character. His story is terrific. You know you need to polish the grammar and punctuation. Your wit is hilarious. Your direct, raw style is effective. Backed.

Backed with pleasure, reminds me of a lot of people I know!

all the best
Sue
Fate's Chastening

Gritty and raw, as well as hilarious and romantic. All the pieces are here, they just need a bit of polishing. Well done with this, and best of luck with it. Backed.

Amy
Love Match

Eric -

You've got a few punctuation challenges, but that's just housekeeping.

Happy to back this sensitive, funny and moving story.

And if you like 'road' stories, take a look at my book - 3 women, a huge RV and a ton of vino, bouncing all over the western US with a dead boyfriend in the freezer.

Best of luck with Angels.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

hullo Eric.Money is often the downfall even after it seems to lift every expectation. thank you for sharing. yours reads well as a non-fiction just stay close to the topic. Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

MiSTAKEN FOR ANGELS...ON THE TRIP FROM HELL?

This is powerful and raw, straight from the heart. You tell of your struggle to fullfil the American dream and share it with your European wife. You wanted to prove you are worth her love by making enough money to buy tickets to visit her parents and to improve the lot of your own parents. You wanted to make it, because in western society our worth is judged by how much we earn: the investment banker is more important than the engineer and the company executive is more deserving than a truck driver. Not because of what they achieve or what they are like as people, but because of money, money, money. But in a recession where workers are no longer wanted, the road to survival and personal satisfaction is blocked. Only a few can get through.
.I can understand the desperation as money and confidence dwindles and then Sofie's excitement as you plan a different approach that may solve your problems. You haven't a house, so why not live in a tent? Sounds reasonable. It feels like a good idea to break free from the painful shackles that have been weighing you down....but sometimes dreams can turn into nightmares.
You write about this with grit and humour, telling it as it is, from your own hard won experience. Your shopping experience in Chapter 2 reminded me of a few of mine! Yes, looking in the clearance bin and being unable to afford any of it ,..so there's not much point looking in rest of shop, is there? I admit it can get disheartening when schoolchildren are buying items I can't afford, just for fun, but most of the time I have to laugh at the insanity of it all.
As you admit, and others have commented, your work does need editing and tidying up. However, your unique voice shines through and it feels fresh and direct. Be careful not to change this voice. If you use an editor to work on this for you , make sure they know you and know exactly how you want to tell your story.
I wish you good luck with this. I am backing it.
Cherry G.
The Girl From Ithaca

Punchy and fast-paced, this does a good job of pulling the reader in despite the grammatical glitches (Since you apologise for them in your profile, I won't reiterate the advice of others) Looking beyond these, we see an engaging and interesting insight into the bold adventure of following your own rules.

Backed.
Abi xxx

MISTAKEN FOR ANGELS,,,ON THE TRIP FROM HELL!?

Eric - Your book has a certain bespoke if puzzling charm. I read the 8 Chapters you posted and experienced amusement something akin to reading James Joyce's Finnegan's Wake undercut with Edward Lear's poem - The Owl and The Pussy Cat. They are both about journeys and honeymoon: one is prose; the other poetry. You combine both forms quite effortlessly. Your free-association style freed me from engaging my critical antenae because you write unconstrained by the usual disciplined writing formats most authors on Authonomy use. That's OK. It was a giggle. There is definitely something angelic about you both and a real sense of innocents abroad. Your journey ends with a useful collection of axioms and nuggets of wisdom which I hoovered up gratefully. Stay right there on that beach and once I find my map and compass I'm heading your way: via a check on the bookshops, in the hope of buying a copy of your book so that you can sign it... BACKED!?

Tony Brady - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

This is truly beautiful. A trip into a world many, perhaps most, have never experienced.
Best of luck. Backed . Jedward (Knut)

This is quite engaging. You have one interesting story to tell and you map it out so well. Interesting how the relationship evolves and develops. I think this is a great story and you tell it well. – Good luck

Nice story. I had fun sampling you and
Sofie's adventures
shelved with good thoughts mikegilli The Free

Eric, great moving pace that grasps the reader and draws them into your story. backed John Warren Lasting Images, please review, jdub

I never even noticed the Harper True Life section before, but it amazes me, how many fantastic writers that there are out there, telling their own stories. You write this very well, encouraging all kinds of emotion throughout the chapters, which a flicked through.
I hope this does well, it certainly deserves to.
Backed,
Aimee

Hi Joe

It is a brave thing when you bare your soul to the world, which you have done and I commend you for doing it in a way that allows me to feel part of your journey. I ended up reading a lot more than I intended as I became engrossed with your story. For the most part your story flows well, once you get used to your inner turmoil, however, in chapter 6 where you are frightened by the Cult in the dark I got a little lost myself. Sometimes when we write about our own lives we know it so well that we forget a little about the reader. Find someone who loves your work to help you edit and you will have a great story. I wish you luck and have enjoyed what I have read
.
John

Very Different Eric, different, and I could not put it down after the first chapter. I have just joined this site so read only some of your work, then sleeping and will read again. Your way of writing is not standard, but this adds somewhat to the feel of your words. I believe some editing is needed but somehow those areas needing editing add to the flavor. I know that sounds bazaar, but!!!! I want to know more so will read more and back your work. If you could read a few chapters of mine and give your honest comments, even back my work that would be great. I wish you all success with your work.
Denise

Hello Eric. I think true stories are so interesting. I like your attitude to life and the way you and Sophie are so clearly soul mates, and your happiness through times of trouble is really touching. Wish you all the best with this! mariecapri (Cosmic Linx)

Hi Eric, This really hit when Sophie was washing clothes by a stream and he was hunting. His feelings about America seem to go deep and he’s taken on a challenge, marrying a foreigner. Some of the phrases can be too conversational or colloquial but generally, the voice is strong and is a draw forward. The sentence “Some silly to me…” Maybe it needs commas or there’s a word typo. This is a back to basics theme and refreshing! Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

This was funny and a little disturbing at the same time! I love the first person narrative in this, it works and it kinda makes me wonder what goes on in your head. But it's well written and very entertaining, I like your humor in here, it's different but it's still funny. I've really enjoyed what I've read of this. It's different which is nice, nothing cookie-cutter for you (that's a huge compliment, too much of the same on here it seems). Excellent work. Thanks for this!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

I love Portland, but it can be really hard to make a living there. Frankly, the unemployment rate is one of the highest in the States presently. The bus driver was cool. "These perfect strangers were giving us hope." As another stranger (not so perfect), I wish you the best of luck with this attempt to spread a little honesty.

compelling and strange and intriguing. backed with pleasure.

Wow. You sound like a horrible person... but I couldn't stop reading the first chapter. Not boring, for sure. And I swear all the typos and sentence fragments are on purpose... right? If you are a middle management dude who wears a tie to work every day and plinks out some stories every evening, YOU ARE A GENIUS. If you really are the first person narrative here, well, let me just say I hope we never meet. You need to live on your own island, away from the rest of the population. :)
Backed, because I just can't tell who wrote this...
M.V. Munoz
Pride, Prejudice, and Cheese grits

Eric, thanks for sharing your experience. This first chapter is full of emotion.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

This is an interesting read and I found myself more interested than I would usually be in a non fiction story.

My thoughts are this needs a good edit, comma placement, sentence structure and the like. Sometimes new papagraphs or even sentences were started when they could have been joined together. At times it did jump around a little but this didn't actually deter from the enjoyment and didn't create confusion.

With polish (which we all need) you have a unique story which could draw in many readers.

Good luck, will pop you on my shelf to help you along a bit but I would advise you try and get this to the best if you plan to have this in the hands of an editor.

An interesting and thought provoking read, but felt that some editing is required - perhaps you could lengthen some of your sentences? There are a lot of full stops! it is a good story written at a comfortable pace. Paula - (Cuthbert: How Mean is my Valley?)

I liked reading this a lot. It actually is a great story and you have pace to keeep the reader glued to all that you relate.
Downside, you need a thorough editing. This looks like rough draft with missing words and capitalized letters that shouldn't be. YOUR PITCH Who do you think is in that sleeing bag? Read what you have written.

Backed

Hey, I like your storyline a lot, very topical and handled in a heartfelt way. It's actually close to my book, The Job, which I invite you to take a look at.
While your at it, please consider looking at IMPEDING JUSTICE by Mel Comley. He's very close to the editor's desk, and I'm sure he'd appreciate your support.
Craig
The Job

The first chapter is written well enough to make the reader want to continue. It's light east reading, but gives a lot of insight in Joe Average's mind.

Hi Eric. From what I have read so far, I have to confess that I really liked it. You write well and my interest remained. I'm not the greatest at comment's but just to say, I want to back this piece of work.

well done.

Hope you get he chance to take a little peek at The Russian Hat.

Sincerly
Brendan Doherty
The Russian Hat

Hi Eric, I'm a big fan of true-life stories and yours is no exception. I like the laid back, gritty narrative.
BACKED!
Best wishes, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

This is fine, Eric. Good luck and best wishes with your work. I'll back this for you. Dave