Fine and Shimmering

Your collection of short stories are imaginative and highly entertaining. You have the unique ability to move seamlessly from one subject to another. Your work is finely crafted, properly paced, well written and your use of imagery is excellent. Backed with pleasure.

Cheers,
Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

SHIMMERING
Wow. I read the second one of these: Tamara in the garden. It’s a great story. You have a good writing style for short stories in that you give enough detail a reader always knows where he or she is at, yet not enough you turn a short story into a long one. And you know how to save a punch for the end. Makes this a good read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Well, I only read "Sheri Unleashed", and I was blown away...it is the kind of story that says a whole lot without seeming to. It reminded me of Balthazar, a film by Robert Bresson. It is incredibly subtle and compassionate. I wish I had more time to read the other stories. In the meantime, I am happy to back the talent behind this book!

Dear DJ --

Your style is both lyrical and spare, never overburdening the reader with too much description, but painting scenes with a bold, clear hand. I admit to a prejudice against short stories -- I just get into them and then they're over -- but "Sheri Unleashed" and "Tamara in Her Garden" are whole worlds unto themselves, giving me as a reader exactly enough.

Congratulations on two memorable pieces; happy to back you on their strength. -- Delhui, The Long Black Veil

What a talented writer you are! You have such an ear for dialogue and the imagery and voice in your writing is just wonderful.

I loved the interaction between Bobby and the woman--and I'd encourage you to push it even further! I felt like we were just at the beginning of things with Bobby, like we were about to get so much deeper into his psychology and his character and then, before it could happen, he was killed. Bobby was a really interesting character--the woman was, too--and I felt like he deserved more time on the page, more time to live and think and make us consider him.

Fine and shimmering
Backed with pleasure
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

Paper and thoughts regarding fiction is an interesting thought expressed in a few words. Backed. Chuck

I read "Looking for Bobby." Consider reducing the number of exclamation marks by half. Overuse diminishes their effectiveness. Other than that, this is a gripping and engaging short story. Plausable characters. Great theme. Superb blend of action, dialogue and narration. Awesome plot. Impressive writing. A riveting read. Backed.

There is something very reminiscent of Stephen King in the telling and yet the prose has a distinclty literary appreciation much above that. You have a wonderful perception of the human condition and relay it cleverly and interestingly.

Your writing contains passion, subtlety and a deft control which makes an overall sense of a brilliantly realised narrative.

BACKED

Dear DJ


I have to comment on your short and long pitch, as they both encourage your reader to delve deeper into your book. Original storyline and you certainly have a way of crafting that really keeps me ( your reader) wanting to really finish this read. Even with a non-fiction one is still telling, and you tell well. As one reads your work it becomes obvious that you have done done much research which gives addedd interest.


BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

08 September 2010
Paraphrasing, adapting and adopting Sir Walter Scott's lines, 'Oh, what a tangled we weave, when first we practice to DELIGHT' is apt praise with regard to the pot pourri of short stories under the title of Finer & Shimmering. Sheri is a perceptively told almost ephemeral work of betrayal and unrequited love crafted with a delicate, light but sure touch. In Petite Marmite the reader encounters the complexity of the convoluted lies some men tell, but not all have a bad intent, and in the same story we are cleverly led into a another delightful 'what obviously is, isn't' ambush. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

Clever and covertly hiding in the shambles of the human world,Sherri was a disguised translucent figure, her husband Al had married. Neither aligned or misaligned with an encumbrance of emotion, he got absolutely nothing from the marriage, so it was no surprise when he upped and left. The trouble was only his touch brought her semi comatose state into being, when he was gone, all seemed lost.
Even a firebrand can't draw out a sapling without a water cooler so it will just have to extinguish one.
Great Story.
Backed with pleasure
Daniel Manning.

FINE AND SHIMMERING
I read Sheri unleashed. At first I wondered where this was going - strory wise and then I twigged. This was a strange tale, slightly eerie and out of focus almost. You certainly paint a good vivid picture and have a unique writing style. Great descriptions and the dialogue you use with effect. I skipped through the rest of your stories and all seem to be of the same high standard. Good and happy to put thison my WL. I will back this asap.
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

You are totally fantastic, DJ! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my memoir book? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Lovely tales that are well crafted. I can see no areas for improvement. Backed with pleasure. Colin

I found the beginning of Sheri unleashed kind of odd, but it made sense later. You have an easy flow to your work, with good dialogue and well crafted characters, given that you're writing short stories. Good read! Backed.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

A lovely mixture of different types of stories. Very easy to pick up and read and then come back for more. Well done. Backed with pleasure, Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

Powerful writing. No more need be said. Backed

We weave a tangled web. Who needs? Who uses? Who takes? Who gives? The lines aren't always clear. This is a psychological maze that you have created and it looks as though it's going to take the reader on an unpredictable path. Good stuff.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

Tamara in her Garden x 3: Fanciful and sardonic, Tamara has him nailed, 'I never like to see Justin holding fragile things'. But is she projecting, hiding, evading? Diana thinks so. Tamara knows so, 'I am poised for flight'.

Instead, we take a step back into the second part, her father and her aunt, those kids, and the seeds of her dislike of people, 'they were a damp and loathsome lot', 'like noisome kittens searching for a teat'. She asks what the reader asks, 'Why the kitchen closet?' The appalling truth emerges after the fire. Later again, 'He did love her.' 'Like the mouse?' And more seeds, 'Then you tend yourself'. (I only saw one possible nit: 'I watch him stride [walk/stalk/march] away, striding...')

A magical insight into a mind ravaged by memory, split by uncertainty and loyalty, and sedated with serenity. So beautifully observed: 'Everything is lacquered in gold', 'like a bear in a bamboo birdcage', 'in a dark, warm cave ... on a dark, cold night (so very clever, echoing the forehead)', 'Of Michelangelo's Pieta ... Holding and spilling', 'teeming with raw necessity'. You, DJ, are a Writer ... backed.

Fine and Shimmering

DJ Blashock

This does seem to be a meaningful collection of stories attempting to make meaningful connections in a fragmented world.
"Sheri Unleashed" has an odd start - "It began with her hands". "Thick and rubbery. Distinctly foreign." This confused as much as it had me thinking - using the grey matter is a plus anyway. For such a short story your MC's character is credible - Sheri with the one small advantage in life - she was pretty. This has an interesting plot and a host of colourful characters. Good luck with the collection. You have an imagination indeed.

DJ,

I read the first tab of Tamara in her garden. The language is beautiful, lyrical might be a better word, for rythmn--rhyme even, here and there--gives it its strength.

There's a distance to the writing too, making it almost dream like. There were places in Section I where you reported conversation and I think I would have liked to hear the words, though that might not fit with the atmosphere you're creating.

There is dialogue in Section II, and whilst it's brief and a little cryptic, I enjoy it.

Looking now at the second tab--can't help myself.

You're probably aware, but there's a paragraph here, should be the 4th of Section III, that's been split strangely in the loading process . . .

And later a direction '[line break]' appears in the loaded text.

Well, I've read it all in the end. This is a good short, thouroughly enjoyable. A couple of thoughts you might like to consider:

--I do think you could use more direct dialogue in the first scene of Section I, rather than reporting it; and

--whilst critical the exposition in Scene III, for me, could have done with a stronger transition in and perhaps a tighter focus.

But you kept intereste from start to finish, happy to give this a turn on my shelf.

Backed.

Tamara: Very lyrical, erotic, short story writing at its best. You show Rose's character completely when she looks startled when asked how she was.
It is beautifully written, but there is very little market for short works these days and you might have to do a novella.
Writer's Digest are running a short fiction competition at the present if that interests you.
Good luck.

Hi DJ

These are sensitive, delicate, beautifully written quiet tales. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

These short stories are fantastic with well rounded characters, something unusual in the short stories I have read up until now. Congratulations on this fantastic piece of work.

As this is not my kind of writing/reading, I might not be qualified to critique.
I only read the first 2 stories but found the narration solid and the dialogue sounds real...that's important.
I think you have a good collection of stories here...you've got my vote.
Dan
PS. Please look at mine.

Your stories are poignant and you have a wonderful way of conveying fine sensibilities and bruising forces of nature. Haunting and memorable.
John

Your stories are poignant and you have a wonderful way of conveying fine sensibilities and bruising forces of nature. Haunting and memorable.
John

Your stories are poignant and you have a wonderful way of conveying fine sensibilities and bruising forces of nature. Haunting and memorable.
John

'A bear in a bamboo bird cage' gives a vivid picture of Justin. All your metaphors are superb but it's the feeling behind the writing and the ability to express it that's most impressive. We see something clearly but unless we're an artist we can't draw it. That's how your writing is - you can think and put the thought into words. Brilliant. Backed. lynn

The quality of the writing is excellent and the general ebb and flow of the prose is deftly handled. The pace is a little slow at times in sheri's story. Her position as observer sometimes makes her feel qute passive in the story and almost not there at all. To some extent that feels deliberate but it is hard to make that engaging for a reader not quite invested in her from the outset as you (the writer) are. Intellectually it's a very well written piece, but emotionally I didn't really connect to it. That's the problem with writing about a detached character.

You can certainly write and it's an interesting piece. Backed.

I read 'Sheri', liked the character herself, and hated her husband - as one would. He was not a good choice for her, nor she for him. Apart from lots of typos it is very well written, and for such a short story it has a simple, direct plot, and a good variety of interesting characters. I shall read Tamara too, and I should like to read an extended piece of writing by the author. I will send the typos separately.
RT

I've just finished the first dtory
it's beautifully told
very gently unfolding like sheri herself
al is cleverly built up first himself then a friend then more friends and finally drink
his infidelity released her
brilliant
I'm backing this now
Micheal O'Durcain
Murder on the Menu

I read Sheri unleashed. A fine story. You create strong images, without ever providing too much detail. This is a style I enjoy. I confess, the jump from Mexico at the end of tab 1, back to home at the beginning of tab 2 was a little jarring and I felt the end could have been expanded on. But that said, I enjoyed the read and read straight through without hesitation. So, I'll give this a quick spin on my shelf.

Hi DJ
I love short story collections and you've done well to develop the characters quickly in order to help the reader lose themself in the story. They are concise and filled with intrigue. You have a great imagination. One point- I'd change the long pitch as it repeats what is in the short pitch and you could put more in here to entice the reader.
Best wishes
DP Walker
Five Dares

What a set of brilliant short stories (well the two I read). Concise, well told and Sheri unleashed is amazing. Great stories. – Good luck.

Your short stories are delightfully entertaining and very well written. A series of well written stories that are easily read, with great descriptions. I'm happy to back this series of stories 100%.
Joyanna
The Prince and The Sorcerer

this has shades of kim edward's compliation of short stories 'secrets of a fire king' in it. very interesting stories and premises

Really good Best of luck with it. E.Loroaine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

you have a good style. intellegent and flowing, cool, and right for short stories...watchlist for now...will back...
su dan...read SEASONS...

DJ,
You write beautifully, and your stories are atmospheric and engaging. I'll caution you, though, that at times you seem to get carried away with your own language. For example:
"...sudden shapes and colors and sounds of the streets sprang up to stumble and startle her."
It's actually a good sentence that sets the mood well, but it's just too alliterative and a little singsong; all those S-words in a row are distracting, and the audience can't help but feel that in a moment you'll have them picking pickled peppers.
Similarly, there are times when almost-rhyming words are a bit too close to each other for comfort.
These are relatively small complaints but I think your readers will notice, and these slight distractions can break the mood that you've worked so hard to set up. I think if you read the story to yourself aloud some of these things might come out.

Hi DJ, Liked the repeated kite imagery in Sherrie’s POV. Because she is passive, she sees a lot of what’s going on around her and her seeing Al as someone who might rather be at a party was strong at the outset. Also, it’s as if she doesn’t realize that she’s too passive to become part of the the friendship between the two men. You’ve rendered well her lost feeling once they’re in Baja. Good work with the young marriage! Happy to shelve – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi -- I enjoyed chapter one -- very Kundera-esque. Backed with pleasure, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

Definitely a moody piece about a moody girl, this Sheri. A small thing perhaps, but I was distracted a bit by how much you used her name, particularly in the first part where her name led three paragraphs straight. I started to believe that you did this for effect and then I eased into it a bit. But I think you did it more in the first section. Anyway, really a small thing to mention because this was fabulous. So many images, so much to think about in this seriously indepth character analysis of a story. Characters that felt like real people, polished writing that was poetic at times, intriguing details and story. Really enjoyed this.
---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

Read Sheri Unleashed and yes you have the talent and the story for publication. Very good.

backed

Well, I only read "Sheri Unleashed", and I was blown away...it is the kind of story that says a whole lot without seeming to. It reminded me of Balthazar, a film by Robert Bresson. It is incredibly subtle and compassionate. I wish I had more time to read the other stories. In the meantime, I am happy to back the talent behind this book!

DJ, "Sheri Unleashed" definitely has publishing potential. I thought you'd have posted more than two stories online.

Backed with pleasure.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Thank you, Andrew--I really appreciate your comments and your backing!

I've put your book on my watchelist for a read.

All the best, DJ

Your collection of short stories are imaginative and highly entertaining. You have the unique ability to move seamlessly from one subject to another. Your work is finely crafted, properly paced, well written and your use of imagery is excellent. Backed with pleasure.

Cheers,
Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Your collection of short stories are imaginative and highly entertaining. You have the unique ability to move seamlessly from one subject to another. Your work is finely crafted, properly paced, well written and your use of imagery is excellent. Backed with pleasure.

Cheers,
Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

I just read Tamara's garden.. a beautiful unforgettable story.
Shelved with congratulations......... mikegilli The Free

Read the first couple of stories and found them engrossing reading.

There is a superb flow to your writing that engages the reader immediately. I admire your courage as short stories are supposed to be harder to write than a novel as you have fewer words to create tension and characterisation. But I must say you do this exceptionally well.

Happily shelved
Melxx
Impeding Justice

Welcome aboard, DJ. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch I am ambivalent about. With the long pitch, list one item for each story to describe it. Also end it with a succinct question so it piques your reader's interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

SHIMMERING
Wow. I read the second one of these: Tamara in the garden. It’s a great story. You have a good writing style for short stories in that you give enough detail a reader always knows where he or she is at, yet not enough you turn a short story into a long one. And you know how to save a punch for the end. Makes this a good read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Dear DJ, I love your short stories & have serveral books of them - "The Lottery" is the one I will never forget. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)