BROOKLYN BRIDGE

Hi again Lynne,

i just wanted to drop you a message congratulating you on the desking and publication. Great news in both cases. :)

I remember reading/backing this ages ago. It plays so well on universal themes. And Carolyn's such a wonderful and sympathetic character. I'm very happy this has been published at long last. :)

I hope you sell many thousands of copies. :)

Best of luck,

Pete x

Hi Lynne ...

Absolutely brilliant. Carolyn is a lovely warm character and I found her really endearing. her interaction with her brothers is well thought out and works well. Plot is well developed and although intending to read a few chapters, I found reaching chapter 16 easy, in one go. Liked everything about this book and could not comment last night as I was waiting for the lump to go down in my throat after her enforced seperation and return to the fold. The two Brooklyn Bitches are a real pair and I found I wanted to give them a good slap.

I can easily see this as a best seller and box office sensation as a film. Backed with pleasure. Regards ... Duncan.

A really beautiful story with sensitive, deep characters. I was originally attracted to this story because of the inter-racial aspect, but what I love is the human aspect. I really started to care about these characters and their lives. A very touching and enjoyable story from what I have read so far. Well done and best of luck.
Rachael
(Dreamscape)

I have to admit that this isn’t my normal type of book to read. But when I started I found it very difficult to quit. I asked myself why and figured out that what the writer does is to mingle those little moments from our everyday lives into the overall story so that we identify with the characters. Its not even like we just care for them, we see elements of ourselves in them. For example, the scene where Carolyn made casserole and Jeff puts it into the oven without turning it on. The author goes on to say that they laughed about this for years to come, but it’s almost not necessary. We all have done something stupid and funny like this in our own families. Author Lynne McLean adds lots of moments like this into the text without distracting from the overall story. She’s a true master of the art of writing and I backed this beautiful book with pleasure.

Hi again Lynne,

i just wanted to drop you a message congratulating you on the desking and publication. Great news in both cases. :)

I remember reading/backing this ages ago. It plays so well on universal themes. And Carolyn's such a wonderful and sympathetic character. I'm very happy this has been published at long last. :)

I hope you sell many thousands of copies. :)

Best of luck,

Pete x

How totally wonderful you are, Lynne!! :) Thank you so very much for again backing my memoirs/testimony book. :) May God richly bless you. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. I have also gold ******-rated your book :) - could you please ****** mine, too. Every ****** -ing & backing more than 24 hours moves our books up authonomy's lists. :) I want to ask you if you could please keep my book on your bookshelf because, I'm #1 on the editor's desk & I don't want to lose traction & to remain in the top 5 to be chosen February 28. :) Please read my profile page: I had a mini-stroke Nov. 10 with slurred speech for an hour & numbness of tongue still & over 24 smaller ones where I couldn't speak since & I"d sure like to cross the finish line of the editor's desk after almost 1 year of trying on authonomy. :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me :) - I have lost 3 sisters to strokes & my last sister, Mary had 2 heart attacks this past year.

What did you think of Harper Collins' review? Honestly?

Hi Lynne, I've backed your book. It's on my bkshelf as I was just taken on into your story! Though I was lost with the shifty point of view of the Prologue.

As enjoyable the second time round as the first. This is an easy entertaining read, which is very pleasant with an interesting premise and some fantastic characters.

Backed and rated.

Lisa

Lynne, not really my type of story, sorry, but I'm sure it will do well; it's well written and the charaters are real and beleivable and story is unfolding nicely.
Good luck with it.

Steve

Hi Lynne,
Sorry this wasn't earlier, but the site was down yesterday, for 24 hours. I breezed through the first five chapters and I think you have a nice story here. I feel like the book is a bit sanitized about NYC,and the big apple is not polite. Maybe you can throw some swearing in, make it more authentic. Chapter 2-Rather than saying he told her about racial taunts, make it a quote and throw some in, this is supposed to be visceral and make us feel empathy. Like the Pink Parratt Club. Chapter 3-Do people still say rapscallion in England? Even in the 70's? I do see how you use scallies later which is fun, but I think scalliwag is more common and current for the former. Chapter 4- I like the Madonna song and I love your phrasing, "like gorgeous and all over you like a rash, nice.
On my watch list.
Bests!
Roberta

Congratulations Lynne, you've made it. So tell us, what's the view like from the summit of Olympus?! You were one of the first Authonomites to back my story when I first submitted it and I was very glad of your encouraging words of support. I think Brooklyn Bridge is an excellent story and it will make an outstanding novel. So what happens now? Are HC going to publish or have they offered you any services (editors, agents, etc)?

I hope everything works out well for you and I want to wish you every success for the future.

Best of luck and kindest regards,

Jack

Editor’s Desk! Congratulations.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Ok girlfriend you did it. Yea! backed all the way Beth Anne

Sorry Lynn, that was an observation, not a direct criticism. I like your style. The dialogue is authentic and easy to read. Not much time left, but I'll stick it on my shelf and hope it helps.

Love the cover of your book, visually appealling. Your story is beautifully written and sensitive. The characters seem real to the reader and they can relate to them. There are some very touching moments throughout that warm the heart of the reader too. There are a couple of comments I'd like to make though. The dialogue for one character (as in the prologue with the woman in the orphanage) should be together, not in separate blocks. The other thing - single space between fullstop and next sentence. It took me a long time to get use to that too, after typing for many years (before computers). Other than that, a great read. Good luck. BACKED.

M. A. Anderson
DARK LEGACY

Lynne, it's my pleasure to back your book. I'm not usually drawn to this genre, but you've done a beautiful job of creating characters and settings that I can "see" even though I'm only halfway through the first chapter. Good luck with your book.
Blessings,
Linda Brendle
A Long and Winding Road, RVing with Mom and Dad

Floating in the 'AZURE' sky below?

Hi Lynne, Glad to read again at chapter 7. It's such an intriguing plot, Carolyn's letters to her successful friends and the switches to Liverpool. Even with the swings in fate, you've kept these characters real. I hope some more time on my shelf will help secure the Ed's Desk - Katherine

PS. What a superb eye catching cover to your book - really makes it stand out.

Nicely pitched Lynn - and it promises to be the type of story that appeals to a wide audience (as is borne out by its popularity). Glad to give it my backing, and very best of luck with it!

Please excuse my message as I am under the weather today. The book I loved was Brooklyn Bridge and please forgive my slow brain today. This id a wonderful book that needs to be published so all the world can read it.

Brooklyn is a great read and I enjoyed reading the book. Hope you all can take the time to back this wonderful book. Beth Anne

Your characters are well defined. Your pacing is good. In fact, I really enjoyed what I read. I will read on as time permits. But for now, I am backing your story with much admiration and respect for your writing style. May this story bring you much success. Sincerely. Marie - 'Mud Pies and Spirits' and 'Spirits Never Die'.

I backed to support your book was about the writing style and story line that excited me. I liked your pitch. You are a good writer that deserves a star this month. I will applaud your success by tonight.
Bamboo Promise
Bora Matarazzo

Dear Lynne,
I was attracted to your story because I went to school in Birkenhead, many years ago, and recognised the local voice in your dialogue. I knew sassy girls who could have been a template for Carolyn. It is well-written and captures the reader's interest quickly. I suppose it is predictable given the title and the circumstances that 2 strangers to the city would foolishly put themselves in the way of harm, but how many of us hicks from across the pond might have done the same thing. The success in a story like yours is often, for me, being able to relate to it. The characters then become friends , friends I care about. The inter racial stuff woven through the plot is good too.
You have attained a good position. Your heart must be in your mouth. I wish you luck when the editor finally reads your book and will look out for it being published. Will you let me know how you get on when the time comes and if you can spare the time, please?
Good luck and Best wishes
Anna as Cate

A writer is better off paying money to an agent, or bribing an editor - it is who you know, not what you write. American literature has taken a nose dive in the last several decades. It is about commerce and finance. Editors and publishers, quietly and subjectively, seek authors who have a high profile, tons of public connections, and an ability to sale the dung from a horse. Why do you think Palin and Porn Star James are able to land book contracts? Wake up writers of America! It is not about talent or skill or craft. Editors do not care how well a writer can write; they do care, however, how well you can sell what you write. Facts of life. But such is capitalist greed.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=224541070409 Facebook - wow... congrats!

I love this book. I will buy it once it is published!

Congratulations on your ranking. I've put you on the watchlist and will check you out today.
If you have time, please reciprocate with a look at my MG/YA.

Thank you,
C.S.POULSEN
THE INSIDERS mg/ya

This is excellent writing. It is definitely of publishable quality. Your MC characters are likeable from the very beginning, which makes your readers relate to them well. Your dialogue is natural and flowing. This was a very easy read- I was absorbed in the storyline from the beginning.

Backed with pleasure!
Cori
"Princess"

Hi Lynne, I was hooked from the first couple of paragraphs and intend to read more as soon as I can! Backed with best wishes.

Clare
A Policeman's Lot

Hi Lynne,

I took a look at your first chapter and enjoyed what you've written. There are some spelling errors (like over hyphenated words such as big-brother or misspelled like to-night) but besides that, great job.

Tracy

I’m reviewing the top five books and I’m at yours. I like your prologue. I think I’ll tell the number two book author to come see yours to see how it should be done.

I like the emotion we feel right away in the first paragraph of chapter one, although you are using dialogue here for exposition quite a bit. I think you can cut some of that and still get the message across as you can write.
You also have fairly long chunks of exposition later on, though which you really could cut down to pick up the pace a little.

When you get into the attack, you do this very well. As a reader I was worried for Carolyn, which is exactly what the reader needs to feel.

For this, I will back you, but you do need to clean up the exposition.

Ems.

Hi Lynne.

This is a highly promising start and I'll certainly be back to read some more very soon. In the meantime I'm more than happy to offer my support to your work.

Best wishes.

Michael Ashley Torrington. 'Kristin'.

This is well written if a little wordy. The dialogue needs to be a bit more authentic I think as sometimes I could not hear a distinct voice for each character. Having said that it is well worth backing so I will. Good luck with it.
John G
'The Last Olympiad.'

Hi Lynne,

Thoroughly enjoyed your story. Despite this not being my usual reading genre, I was drawn in and before I knew it I was half-way through. Later today I finished reading. A heart-warming read. A positive novel showing the power of love and that life is what we make of it – not to let other people, obstacles nor our backgrounds (race, class or otherwise) or rather people’s prejudices about these deter us from pursuing our dreams.

A big thumbs up from a usually more cynical chap.

Cheers, Wadim

Perfect Human Creations

This is brilliant. A heart-warming read, Carolyn is a delight, as is Bob (or Robbie!).

Love the crisp buttie bit especially!

Backed with pleasure.

Regards,
Laura

Lynne, I really like your plot and characters. The pitch predicts a very good read and from what I have read so far (prologue and first chapter), I think this will be a lovely read. However, I think you could still benefit from tightening up your writing a little.
Here are my thoughts:
- The back story in itself is interesting, but it feels as though you've included a whole lot of info to get us upto speed without it making for thrilling reading. As others have suggested, maybe it would be better to bring us closer to the action in New York initially, then feed in bits of the back story gradually
- the 'show not tell' technique could be applied to some scenes where there is a lot of description
- The mugging action scene could do with a greater feeling of tension. It's quickly over with without much time for excitement
- There's no need for 'she thought' when showing Carolyn's thoughts - the italics are enough to tell us this
Another read-through and edit will iron out these niggly bits!

It sounds as if you have an exciting premise, but the writing did not grab me. The opening scene is backstory and info-dumping and I would start it closer to the action on the bridge not 6 months before. I also found the dialogue unrealistic, used to fill the reader in, rather than sounding natural. Jake

hi lynne

a good read, especially with threads of the wirral :)

backed with pleasure. if you find time please take a look at my book

regards
P F Farraday

Hi Lynne,

I so enjoyed reading the opening chapter of Brooklyn Bridge. John and Carolyn were so lucky to have met Bob and Jeff and likewise, for the two young men as well.

Friendships are so important, and to have read through their harrowing experiences, I really was reaching for the tissues.

I love happy circumstances and this one has doses of reality mixed in, because there was also hardship experienced by all four of them. Essentially Carolyn ended up with 3 big brothers. This is very heart-warming.
Shelved.

Cynthia
Sharing Short Stories

Hi

This is a lovely story. The interaction between brother and sister is almost too nice to be pausable. Would anyone really think that their brother was so perfect. Otherwise no problems.
Backed.
Cheers Olga

Congratulations on being 'selected.'

Brilliant flowing writing. Backed with pleasure. Clare

Whew, finally some time to get back to the site for commenting! Love the story and the characters. Needs a little light trimming of excess words, but overall the writing is brilliant. There are a couple spots where something told by narration could be possibly more effectively explained by dialouge (the paragraph where the boys talk about not being able to leave a young girl on her own, for example) but the description is beautiful, as is the concept. Good luck, I'd love to see a publisher snap this up, because after a bit of polishing I can see this being popular.

Hi Lynne (Brooklyn Bridge),
I'm not going to beat about the bush with this on. It's a brilliant piece of work, from the plot to the building of characters. I'm BACKING your book and wish you all the best for your writing in the future.

Frank James (The Contractor)

Description of the scene from the plane window in the opening of Ch. 1 is tremendous, helps the reader look out on the world. The introduction to Brooklyn could use more of this, especially the view from the bridge. I've walked the GWB before and viewing the city from the outside in has a certain magical appeal. The scene from Brooklyn is even more magnificent given its proximity to lower Manahattan. One question of congruence: we know that the boys who come to her rescue are orphaned. They refer to one another as brothers yet they are obviously from different sets of parents. Yet, Carolyn never asks them to explain their relationship. There appears to be no connection made to the fact that she and her brother are orphaned, too. One last comment. You've already established that they are looking for apartments in Brooklyn. You can simply introduce Cobble Hill as Cobble Hill. It makes the narrators connection and familiarity to the place more convincing. Backed just the same. Good luck on the Editor's Desk.

Jedah Mayberry
-Slow Train Comin'

Out of curiosity, is there a time zone difference between England and New York? Might be a detail to throw in while she is trying to sleep her first night in the states.
Lovely interaction between Carolyn and the boys. Though the fight scene was a bit of a shock. I had some problem getting through the English swearing, If you don't want to use american swear words and cut down your audience, that is understandable. Nice establishment of the trust and hero factor that will be the foundation of a very intersting couple. :D

Lynne -you have a lot of empty praise amongst your comments below, the outcome of having a very high talent spotting ranking. I aim to give you the same crit as if your ranking was 1121.
The romance is well worked out and will enthrall lovers of this genre. I suspect (and hope) that in 1978 the Boys' Orphanage personnel were not so ignorant and ill-trained to welcome a bereaved and abandoned child in this way. That would surely be more like 1935? There was enough psychology in the popular press and in films for emotional damage to be known about. The welcoming child is, conversely, a bit too good to be true. Would he have those social skills in such a setting? I bring this up as it's your opening, and important for engaging our belief as well as our sympathies.
The rest of novel rolls along very smoothly. Backed
Lara
Good for Him

Hi Lynne,
Oooh this is really good. I noticed that Barry Wenlock had backed you. I read what he recommends, he doesn't back books just for return reads but because he thinks they are worthy. I am just going to check out Amazon to see if you are published in Kindle format, if so shall download right away.

Mary

Hi
I have read your first chapter and immediately got into the story. It's definately the kind of story that I would read.
A few nits:
I think 'surprisingly kind' is better than 'surprisingly kindly'.
'Mine or John's rooms' should be 'my...or John's room'.
Why does the word tomorrow have a hyphen?
Not entirely sure that teenage boys would use the endearment 'Honey'.
The sentence beginning "Anyhow," said Jeff needs punctuation and space after Jeff and "I dealt with him myself" also needs a comma.
I would also condense the section where you describe them settling into their new life a little...but that's just me.
Nits aside, I do truely like this work and believe it has potential, therefore BACKED.
Good luck with your climb to the top.
Raquel.

This is a brillant story! I was enthralled in the beginning with Carolyn and her older brother, John's relationship. It's quite real and natural. You've done an excellent job of sculpting it. Then I was captivated by the way you weave the story. It definitely pulled on my heartstrings. Our society could definitely use more of these kinds of books. Your tale holds a valuable place in our world.

Great job, and best wishes!

BACKED,

CSAndersen

This moves right along and it is a story I would expect to enjoy more and more as they make their new lives. There are some typos that will be easily corrected (with publication...) and I would tighten up some of the dialogue, taking out superfluous phrases. But even with what I've said, it does move well and I like the character development as well. Moving across time spans I find to be a challenge and even with your .... the first few months moved along well," I still detected an awkwardness to the transition. I'm happy to back. Thanks for showing it to me.