Baker's Dozen

Hi Alice,
What a pleasure to read. Precise and carefully worded, it is evident that you have invested a lot of time and effort to get this to the stage it is at.
I found your memoir moving and interesting with both tinges of joy and sorrow throughout. The level of recollection is quite extraordinary and provides the minute details which make this work stand out to me.
Despite reading from beginning to end, I felt I was dipping here and there into your childhood rather than have the whole of it laid out in one long tale. My only comment on this is that I was somewhat confused at their order one occasion. Why was Murder Most Fowl inserted between the seemingly linked chapters Oh No Not Bedtime! And Undercover Gymnasts? It was the only point where I felt the smooth flow had been interrupted.
There are still a few typos which need to be ironed out, generally where you’ve just added or omitted a single letter so another different word is formed so a spell checker won’t pick it up – nigh instead of night, bother instead of brother, grown instead of grow, and instead of an etc.
Most enjoyable.
Best.

Alice,
Your first person POV was like a magnifying glass giving me in-your-face realism as I followed your recollections. What an intriguing read, trumping fiction in many ways. Certainly, bearing witness to events that actually happened is like being invited into a special group, a circle of confidants surrounding the author. So one reads on, utterly privileged. Your prose is concise, your dialogue flavoured just right for the circumstances being expounded on. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

I have so enjoyed reading this - the true human voice of social history. It is a period that I love to read about and this reveals the tragedies, injustices and the famil/community life of post war Britain. By the by, I remember Bernard Archard on television. There were later repeats of a series where he interviewed those suspected of being spies. I can't remember what it was called. But he was a good actor and it was good television. Thanks for the opportunity to read your book. I back with pleasure. Marilyn Jenkins (The Legacy of Alice Waters).

I absolutely love this. Baker's Dozen is precisely my cup of tea, your writing had me hooked from the first paragraph. Your main character's voice is so real. Every word felt important, she didn't explain things that didn't need explaining, and nothing felt forced. Your writing is seasoned and flows beautifully. If the rest of the book is anything like the first chapter then I feel privileged to come back and read more. You are very talented, I am sure it's only a matter of time before this book lands itself in the top five. I wish you all the best and I will most definitely be coming back to read the rest!

Akemi Maruyama
The Black Diamond

This is great writing! I wish I could think of more flowery superlatives, but I'm afraid that "great" is the one that best describes it. Frank McCourt (I hope I spelled it correctly) has nothing on you. I'm sure that this will be gobbled up (rightfully so) by a publisher. I hope my backing helps get it to the Editors Desk. Good luck.

Hi Alice,

At first I was overwhelmed by the number of chapters and ...more to follow. But what a surprise when I found them short and sweet, enabling me to gobble them up one at a time. It's good prose and not many errors- grammatical or otherwise. In all respects this is a good book which is worthy of publication.
Just for the sake of advice, I would say, 'Add a little more dialogue.'

I have put it on the Watchlist, soon to be on my shelf.

All the best with this.

Jay Adiyarath
EXPIRY DATE

You've done a good job describing what it was like facing the cold when waking up in the morning. Though I now live in Canada and have central heating, I still remember what it was like waking up (or going to bed) in my grandparents' home in Eastbourne... I think anyone who doesn't have central heating would identify fully with your descriptions!

So I just finished reading chapter 5. My comments so far is that your text could use a little more dialogue. Especially in the long funeral scene -- 3 chapters, was it? I think dialogue would help lighten things a bit while. Your characters are a little stiff -- not a bad thing as such: this heightens your sense of alienation in the midst of all these strangers. But it is such a long scene, making your characters speak would help break things up a bit while simultaneously bringing them to life.

One last comment for tonight -- I was a little thrown off when your dad came back to life at the beginning of chapter 5. It's possible the fault is mine, that I didn't pay enough attention to where you were going with chapter 4. Or, you do need to drop more hints that you're going backwards in time...?

I look forward to reading the rest of your story.

Beautifully written... More comments to come as I read.

beautifully written in an easy, informal style. good one

Hello Alice:

It is wonderfully refreshing to see someone write about a happy, healthy childhood-not a common genre these days!

Your writing has an amazing, descriptive flow and you bluntly shine the spotlight on a lot of unspoken tackiness which is so commonly found in human nature.

The only suggestion I have is that I would have liked to be more oriented to the memoir in the beginning chapters. Not having a proper introduction, I felt like I was a latecomer who had walked in late to a conversation.

Best of luck and success in this endeavor.

James Revoir

Hello Alice:

It is wonderfully refreshing to see someone write about a happy, healthy childhood-not a common genre these days!

Your writing has an amazing, descriptive flow and you bluntly shine the spotlight on a lot of unspoken tackiness which is so commonly found in human nature.

The only suggestion I have is that I would have liked to be more oriented to the memoir in the beginning chapters. Not having a proper introduction, I felt like I was a latecomer who had walked in late to a conversation.

Best of luck and success in this endeavor.

James Revoir

A delightful style of writing you have.

Baker's Dozen - a contemporary memoir
Title: I worry about the tag ‘a contemporary memoir’; I can see how this could be misinterpreted as mis-lit – as you mention on your profile page. Need to think about that again probably. Maybe it’s the way you mention thirteen children.
Short Pitch: It’s probably too long. It could end at ‘authority’ and lose virtually nothing.
Long Pitch: Ditto. I’m unsure about the final para here… it suggests the book becomes an Essex girl adventure. Is that right?

OK There is no point in my searching out the inevitable typo or whatever, this is well written. There is a good and very engaging flow here. I found I was in the character right away. I know most of these eras well and I have to say you have a clear and very authentic voice. I laughed out loud at the ‘not paying these swindlers for fresh air’. I KNOW somebody who used (still) to say that! That sort of thing is really surprising isn’t it? A detail one assumes is unique but actually isn’t. Ah… the bullying teachers. Those were the days!

I’m fairly sure there is a market for this kind of thing and with your easy style and readability the book could fit right in. I only read about ten chapters but the style and voice did not vary. A comfortable story. A great slab of life.

Read your index and three chapters. Easy, enjoyable read. Like the shorter punchy chapters and way you sneak in the descriptions of the family. I felt like I was at the funeral. You certainly have tremendous literary skills. Highly recommended and multi-starred. Dina of Halo of the Damned and Last Degree

This is simply a pleasure to read.

Hello Alice,I hope you are well,Im sorry I haven't been in touch,but I've had major problems uploading my book,but it is now available!I would be very pleased if you could take a look at the first chapter,it is entitled 'A Buccaneer' and is an historical,adventure,romance set in the 17th century and features Cambridge University,lost love,duelling in the Armee of Louis XIV,the Great Plague of London,beautiful French and Spanish ladies,boots of Spanish leather,the attack on Panama 1671,Sir Henry Morgan and much more,best wishes Strachan gordon

Dear Alice,

I took a look at what you have in the offering. Your long pitch's "Alice could not accept the status quo; could not tolerate injustice or unacceptable boundaries because of religion; because she was a child; or because she was a girl. So, she continually pushed the limits and broke the rules, which got her in trouble many times" is very good. My character more or less typifies your main hero's. I hate injustices and I find too difficult to live in bottled up surroundings.

Hi Alice,
What a pleasure to read. Precise and carefully worded, it is evident that you have invested a lot of time and effort to get this to the stage it is at.
I found your memoir moving and interesting with both tinges of joy and sorrow throughout. The level of recollection is quite extraordinary and provides the minute details which make this work stand out to me.
Despite reading from beginning to end, I felt I was dipping here and there into your childhood rather than have the whole of it laid out in one long tale. My only comment on this is that I was somewhat confused at their order one occasion. Why was Murder Most Fowl inserted between the seemingly linked chapters Oh No Not Bedtime! And Undercover Gymnasts? It was the only point where I felt the smooth flow had been interrupted.
There are still a few typos which need to be ironed out, generally where you’ve just added or omitted a single letter so another different word is formed so a spell checker won’t pick it up – nigh instead of night, bother instead of brother, grown instead of grow, and instead of an etc.
Most enjoyable.
Best.

Good writing here. You have a lot of emotion that comes through in this story.

I'm not a big reader of this genre, but I felt that the opening of the book could use an introduction that explains the significance of the story. In this age when every celebrity gets to have a book (sadly) you need a good reason to sell your story to readers (and publishers) as important. That reason should be up front, although a good pitch could serve the same purpose.

I wish you luck with this and I hope you can place it. Backed.

Brian
Mute

I'm positive I've read and backed this before. It is very well written and draws the reader in. I've backed and rated it again, just in case.

Cat
Twisted

Alice,
Your first person POV was like a magnifying glass giving me in-your-face realism as I followed your recollections. What an intriguing read, trumping fiction in many ways. Certainly, bearing witness to events that actually happened is like being invited into a special group, a circle of confidants surrounding the author. So one reads on, utterly privileged. Your prose is concise, your dialogue flavoured just right for the circumstances being expounded on. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Bakers Dozen.
Ch.2. I am immediately immersed in the opening scene, and that picture of the sugar bowl revives so many memories.

Ch.3. I make notes as I write, but dont pretend to be an expert. Perhaps you could do with a comma before 'some' in the last sentence of the first paragraph?

Ch.4. You are a consummate writer, and I have nothing but admiration at the way you show your reactions to the funeral, and the smooth transition to the circumstances of your father's death.

Ch.5. You take the reader seamlessly back in time as you remember. I'm beginning to realise you dont talk much about your mother...

Ch.6. ... she's obviously the practical one, too busy for intimate moments and the personal ministrations of your father. The frantic attempts to stay warm which getting dressed made me smile. And the rug industry shows the practicality of those times.

Ch.7. I'm just going to get up and make myself a bowl of porridge - great stuff! Must get some condensed milk.

I am thoroughly enjoying your story, which will stay on my w/list for further reading.
Thank you.
Jane (Breath of Africa).

Hello Alice ' bakers dozen- a contemporary memoir'

backed and commented on this very well written book some 344 day s ago , Back in again to read some more and to punch in the six stars that it deserves,
i said at that time about how good your recollection was for the period. having read more i stand over that comment
your book will be of interest to social historians in years to come, as you depict the time as it was then,
and you do it very well indeed
good luck

tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'
obliged if you could back or comment mine, written about dubbin in the 40s, and that was a recession.
thanks

Hello Alice ' bakers dozen- a contemporary memoir'

backed and commented on this very well written book some 344 day s ago , Back in again to read some more and to punch in the six stars that it deserves,
i said at that time about how good your recollection was for the period. having read more i stand over that comment
your book will be of interest to social historians in years to come, as you depict the time as it was then,
and you do it very well indeed
good luck

tom bye ' from hugs to kisses'
obliged if you could back or comment mine, written about dubbin in the 40s, and that was a recession.
thanks

Very evocative, easy to read, easy to be so absorbed you don't read anything else! : )

This is a fascinating account of times gone by, recorded in vivid detail. I liked the short chapters, as it makes it nice and easy to read. I read the first 10 chapters and then cherry-picked a few others, including the last three. My favourite was the lunch at the Ritz. I think I preferred the chapters that relate specific events and adventures, rather than those describing the daily routine. Also I wondered whether it might be helpful to have a list of your brothers and sisters on the Contents page. There are so many of them! Maybe you could list them in age order, say, giving their ages at the time of the last one’s birth.
I found a few minor typos. Ch.2 Need a question mark at the end of the chapter title. Ch.2 & Ch.6 “dinning” should be “dining”. Ch.7 “where the best” should be “were the best”. Ch.9 “a the mountain” should be “the mountain”; “in honour her” should be “in honour of her”; “and house” should be “and a house”. Ch. 34 starts with “My next trip to London”, which seems a bit of a non-sequitur as the previous chapter was about blackberry picking in the countryside. “about anything about” should be “anything about”.
Altogether an enjoyable and heart-warming read.

Was attracted to this story as the timeline is similar to my own parents upbringing. I can certainly recognise a lot of your experiences in theirs and you 've written it in an engaging easily, read style. Of value, and starred, regards, Mark

Alice.

I am from Chicago and your work made me think of my past - like the huge "octopus," the coal burning furnace with huge pipes leading to varoius rooms in the old house. You reminded me of the small water heating coal burner that we had to start up if we wanted to sit in the bath tub. You reminded me of all the family members sitting at a long table sipping coffee and wine, joaking, critcizing, just being together. You remended me of my childhood.

Thank you. Certainly backed. You might want to take a look at some of my work.

Keep smiling
Joseph D Palermo

What a beautiful voice you have - I've so enjoyed your chapter of the birthday chocolate. If only we could have such joy as adults from such a simple and small gift! x

Hi again Alice,

I've been rereading a few of my old favourites on here lately to see what I think on a 2nd reading.

Well ... I certainly wasn't disappointed when rereading your work. I can see why I enjoyed this and backed it in the past. You have a wonderful knack for vivid descriptions. I'm especially impressed that you use the sense of smell so well in your writing. Many writers neglect that sense altogether for some reason.

Right from the start, there's so much passion in your writing. You evoke a real sense of loss. The hole left by the father's death is almost palpable. You're tugging at my heartstrings and engaging me in your story immediately. ;)

I still think this is a great read. Since the star rating system didn't even exist when I was last here, I'm giving you a well-deserved 6 stars right now. :)

I really do hope you can get this published. :)

Best wishes,

Pete x

Superb!
6 stars - no less!!

I was born in the fifties, Alice, so I feel right at home with 'Baker's Dozen'. And I remember the 'swinging sixties' so much easier than I remember last week. It was such a fun period of time, despite the awful after-effects of the war. People seemed to unite with each other so much better then; Families shared so much, and neighbours really cared about each other. It is an era of good memories as well as bad, and your book makes it so seem so real again. It's beautifully written, too. Backed with stars and on w/l.

Kate Grimes -LIZZIE -CUPPA TALES- TALES OF WILLOW GREEN

I read the section on the aftershock of the father's death at the funeral.The style is very simple and straightforward,but not bare and utilitarian and ,i think,conveys a deeply felt reaction to this sad event,which I think must come out of experience and it certainly had the power to move,without pointless lyricism and fine writing.There is considerable force and energy in the writing and I'm sure it would find an audience.Would you like to read the first two chapters of my novel 'A Buccaneer' which is about a Cambridge graduate,who joins the buccaneers in the Caribbean in the 17th century and is involved in the capture of Panama,best wishes Strachan Gordon.

Read through to Chapter 4 and loved it. I enjoy reading about the 50,60 and 70's. My favorite movie of all time is Yours Mine and Ours (Lucille Ball) family movie about 18 children. Have rated it well and plan on coming back for more reading Thanks
Red

Alice,

I checked out your fine book and I thought it deserved to be on my shelf, so I backed it. Will you please take a look at either of my two novels, DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS or MY GENTLEMAN FRIEND, for your possible backing. Your help is greatly needed. Good luck and happy writing.

Dwain-Thomas

I don't usually read nonfiction but must say thoroughly enjoyed going back in time. The narrator's voice is very well written have rated and placed on WL. Good luck!
Red

Alice: I have just encountered your memoirs and thoroughly enjoyed reading a few chapters. I hope to return to more later and in the meantime am happy to back it. You have managed to recall a wealth of evocative detail and recount it with lucid prose. It has encouraged me to consider uploading some of my own autobiography, although I am afaid It will lack the warmth and humanity of your account as I was not as fortunate as you in my family background.
In the meantime, you might care to look at I, Said the Rook, which is a fairly humdrum thriller.
Incidentally, I don't think it is possible to write a "life to death" autobiography without coming back from the grave, but I'm sure we all know what you mean!
Leslie Rocker

I loved chapter twelve and enjoyed being in these scenes. Here are a few nits. For the Retentive readers, you might wish to change the line: Dad came out holding Mum's arm, with, Dad came out holding Mum by the arm. Then, the line about Ignatius, it might read smoother, phrased something like this: Ignatius had just returned the day before from scouts.
I enjoyed the food roll-call. Ah, and an enamel top table.
I think you need an 'at' for staying at hospital.
I'll do 15 and 19 soon.
I like your book.
Cheers!
JBC

Enjoyed first chapter; in a weird kind of way, as we've all been to funerals, havn't we. Your writing is competent and an easy to read style. It was refreshing to read something not: fantasy, witchy, or perverted as many seem to be on here. You described the opening scene very well and i could have empathy sraight away. Just thought the paragraph with the budgie cage needed a comma somewhere, as it sounded like the table was covered and not the budgie. Shows promise, and rated. Will read on . Lindsey J. To Paint a White Horse.

I am awed by the skill of the writing here and love the ambience and tone. So many effective turns of phrase. Loved the bemused embrace! Immediately likeable all round. Six stars! WL'd with intent. Glad you uploaded this work. I saw your book on somebody's bookshelf and am glad I investigated. Will come back for more.
Cheers!
John B Campbell (Walk to Paradise Garden, historical fiction)

You know I am trying to put you back on my shelf, I only moved Bakers Dozen to make room for Asleep in Heaven's Nursery, which I learned has been published, which was awesome, but now I am back to "this computer has backed too many books" message when I tried to put you back on. Grrrr. It will not even add you to my watchlist. I will try again later, because I have been enjoying the glimpses into homelife back when:)

Dear Alice, excuse my bluntness, but BALLS! to the odd punctuation oddity. Your book was a barnstorming plethora of emotions, that only made me want to read more. I'm sick and tired of people, pointing out obvious mistakes, that all writers suffer with, [ Punctuation is a puissant, for those who pretend to write ]. We can all learn the mechanics of any materialistic entity, but not all of us can envelop the reader with such emotion, the way that Alice has done. This is a great book, full stop......... For all you politically correct pretenders, [ There's a few of them ]. Try reading beneath the words, this Woman has dared to be so brave in revealing. Its a wonderful read and it deserves its recognition. Good luck and best wishes Alice, [ I hope you didn't mind me calling you Alice ]. I loved every word of your book. Cicuta. [ Carl, Arcane ].

Have really enjoyed revisiting this and it feels as if you've done a lot of work on it since I read it last? Just a lot smoother and sharper somehow. I still love this story - it has heart and soul. It's not the kind of book I usually read and that, for me, is part of the joy of Authonomy - it takes us outside our usual narrow little reading rat-runs!
It's been back on my shelf for a while and will make recurring appearances as it makes its way up the chart... :)

Very poignant and extremely well written, I am still having problems with backing books, and adding them to my bookshelf, But I can and am adding to my watchlist and giving stars:) P.S. Ch.2 Para. 2 Patronizing:)

Very poignant and extremely well written:) Adding to watchlist. Sorry having backing problems from my computer or I would right now. I will remember to do so when I use another computer though. P.S> para.2>(SP) Patronizing.

Alice -

Baker's Dozen - What a gripping scene, the burial reception, conveyed through a girl missing her father, not yet ready to believe he has gone. The consistent voice and poignant observations make this a memorable story. It introduces us to a place and time not so long ago, but overtaken by vastly changed ideas regarding familiy, morals, economics and general outlook on life. Alice lets us see these changes through her sharp eyes. I was particularly intrigued by the sibling politics, not having had any myself. A longish comment I wrote yesterday was lost when my server went down, so here a few points re: chapter 1 still in mind ... new glass-bowl ... would do, since the paragraph shows it's for sugar. ... She postured and flung her black fur-stole on the sideboard ... my attempt here to make the sentence flow. During another edit you might replace one or the other word with a more punchy one. There were, I thought, a few commas too many in the first chapter. The fine writing and rich details make Baker's Dozen an enjoyable read, and I'm happy to rate it high.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Alice, I've succeeded in shelving only two books among many attempts, but I'll try now to shelve yours. If it doesn't work, I'll back it when the problem is resolved. Thanks again for your support. --Bill

Dear Alice,

Not only do you write well, but your memoir is moving and even historical, documenting its time and place. The funeral scene, for instance, captures the details of family life--your dad's efforts to maintain a warm environment--but also the heartless custom of holding a post-burial reception and the tasteless behavior of the guests. You've captured the emotion, the histrionics, and a vivid, touching image of the missing father. I wish you well-deserved success with this work.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to back your book at present as a result of a technical problem, which the Authonomy team is trying to fix. "Back the Book" just doesn't do so; I can't place your book on my virtual shelf. But I'll give it six stars and return to shelve it if the problem is solved. Many thanks for backing "The Doctor of Summitville." I really appreciate it. --Bill

You tell it like it was and as this was my era I can relate to lots of your story. Easy to read and expresses very well life in the 50's and 60's. Best of luck and hope to see it in print before too long.
Issy

This book brings back memories of my father's stories of growing up immediately after the war. So evocative and well told. More soon please.

Hi Alice - having a trail for some books that stood out for me before the 'shake-up' - your advice was much appreciated re the online grammar edit - I was amazed at how many arrors their where . I've polished the first 11k words anyway with assistance from Dwight Swayne - another 75k to go - shellved you again, as your work stood out in the spring - best, Rob.

Alice
I enjoyed your first chapter and your use of the senses--especially smell--one that's often over-looked. I would have rather seen your first sentence as something like, "This was my first funeral." It took me a while to figure out where you were. Saying something like this would have planted me immediately in your story world.

Also, when the flamboyant lady walks in and you cross the room to let her know you're appalled at her behavior I would have liked to hear his dialogue. What did he say? What did the others respond? If you SHOW what is happening we'll see it better. Telling us what's happening isn't the same.

I love your premise and think that readers will be interested in your life. I could see our book group reading this.

Thanks for sharing your story and putting your writing out here for brutal attack. Ha!

Beautifully written, funny and extremely entertaining. Not a genre I would normally go for, but a joy to read. Backed with pleasure.

A thoroughly interesting read about my time of life. It brings back many memories that (thankfully) I'd managed to supress (only kidding).
Good luck with this Alice.

Gefordson
Nothing you can do

Honestly loved reading this. The frozen bedroom brought back memories of same when I was young. Backed for being a wonderful story teller.