Stained Glass

A gorgeous addition to the genre - that's the only way to describe this, apart from adding the word "worth". This is far more than a thin veneer of romance cast upon a page. It's rich, deep, detailed and full of emotion. Yet it is all sensitively portrayed, from tenderness through to tension.

Truly wonderful, and backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Hi Toby,
I have had a few days, since reading your work, to mull over my thoughts and to give you my view. I stumbled upon 'Stained Glass' whilst filtering through the romance genre and I have to tell you that I was captivated from the word go. You deal with the subjects of terminal illness, polygamy and unlooked for attraction with a sensitivity that leaves me breathless! I read the first few chapters whilst at work, year ten students thankfully occupied with English literature mock exams, and I was utterly enthralled. So enthralled, in fact, that time escaped me and I released the class five minutes later than I should have done. If questioned I will blame you, maybe my line manager will go easy on me once he has read your work...here's hoping.
The scene in the hot air balloon made me want to test it out, not bad for a confirmed vertigo sufferer (honest I break out into a cold sweat two rungs up a ladder!) and the sexual tension you portray...well let's just say I am hooked. More, more, more. Backed with enthusiasm! Millie x

Dear Toby King,

Stained Glass lets the light shine on this sensitive love triangle -- compelling dialogue and gripping issues, broken bodies, shattered spirits, and finally healing and redemption.

Best and backed.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

I was swept away by this in more ways than one, your descriptions and scene setting is a first class act, and it was indeed like walking on broken glass as Meghan begins her search for true love. I had to stop reading at the encounter in the balloon, but I saw enough to back it and will take another peek soon. I will do so knowing that the course she is to tread is not going to be easy but nothing this good ever is. Ray Jones.

A gorgeous addition to the genre - that's the only way to describe this, apart from adding the word "worth". This is far more than a thin veneer of romance cast upon a page. It's rich, deep, detailed and full of emotion. Yet it is all sensitively portrayed, from tenderness through to tension.

Truly wonderful, and backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Excellent cover, very eye-catching and brilliant idea. I read the opening and thought your writing was truly amazing. The pace is excellent with snappy, amusing dialogue. I liked the whole wandering around the zoo bit, brilliant. Backed with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

This is such excellent writing, I'mm hooked for sure! Love the characters, the diaogue the premise - I wish I could take this with me on holiday next week!
BACKED with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

A well written story, and easy to read, backed. Eveleen (Turning a new leaf)

An intriguing premise and a situation that is quite authentic, the characters come across well and the storyline is compelling, This is a well written book capturing appropriate emotions in a good style.

Backed,

Lisa

You have captured something here that I have found very special.
You weave values and thoughts in such an engaging way into the storyline while not loosing the interest of me the reader. I think this is an exceptional well-constructed book, a great read. – Good luck

Stained Glass:

Really liked this, the characters, the dialogue, the 'O' of the child's lips. :) and the emotion.

Like most of our books on here, just needs a little edit and it will shine even brighter.

All the best, and will make a spot on my shelf for this.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Toby,

Returning your read. Interesting pitch: there's some consideration of polyamory in the later parts my work.

One thought on the pitch. There's a theme around broken and shattered, there--which is great--but I wonder if the degree of word repitition isn't over done. I like the idea but feel the execution could, perhaps, be improved.

Into the work proper. I read three chapters and this is a well structured and touching story. In three chapters you've introduced the MCs and set up where the story is going. Very well done.

A couple of observations you might like to consider, though--of course--it's all a mattr of opinion:

--sometimes you have dialogue nestled in the narrative, separting it out can give it more focus, too, on occassions, you have one charater's words in the same paragraph as another character's actions or reactions, which can be confusing;

--in the first chapter there were a couple of semi-colons that struck me as off (for example in the first sentence of the second paragraph I'd have a comma) though I know the use of these varies between Brits and Americans (with us poor Aussies somewhere in the middle, confused); and

--last of all--and most a matter of opinion--I wonder if you couldn't get a little closer to the viewpoint of you MCs, people talk about pyschic distance and by cutting back on pronouns, removing filtering words (particularly abstract and sensory verbs) you can bring the readers closer to the characters.

However, you've done a great job of bringing Meghan and Sam alive, and showing the pathos in both their lives.

Kristin's a well developed secondary character too. Rebkah doesn't get as much face time in the opening three chapters, but I have no doubt she will develop well.

Backed with pleasure.

Toby, it really is romantic and full of emotion. I always think of chick lit as being rather brittle and a bit shallow. This is the very opposite of that, it's thought provoking yet there's also somethng very commercial about it. I hope it's a success for you. Backed. lynn

Hi Toby,
I have had a few days, since reading your work, to mull over my thoughts and to give you my view. I stumbled upon 'Stained Glass' whilst filtering through the romance genre and I have to tell you that I was captivated from the word go. You deal with the subjects of terminal illness, polygamy and unlooked for attraction with a sensitivity that leaves me breathless! I read the first few chapters whilst at work, year ten students thankfully occupied with English literature mock exams, and I was utterly enthralled. So enthralled, in fact, that time escaped me and I released the class five minutes later than I should have done. If questioned I will blame you, maybe my line manager will go easy on me once he has read your work...here's hoping.
The scene in the hot air balloon made me want to test it out, not bad for a confirmed vertigo sufferer (honest I break out into a cold sweat two rungs up a ladder!) and the sexual tension you portray...well let's just say I am hooked. More, more, more. Backed with enthusiasm! Millie x

Hi Toby, While rendering Kristin and Meghan, you’ve done a fine job in hinting about the downward development of Meghan’s self-esteem after her teen pregnancy. It’s an involving read, meeting the rejecting mother and passing the church in a town where it looks as if there was no better answers for her. You weave in the emotional material well and that’s really positive, considering the synopsis. Happy to shelve – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Dear Toby, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "backed" your book, I will also put your book on my "watchlist." Could you please take a moment to "back" my completed unedited memoir version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which at the end tells of my illness now & 6th abusive marriage. I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy.

Toby. what a beautiful tender and emotional story. I have a friend whose best friend found out she had terminal cancer.My friend was already widowed with 2 children and her best friend ha 1 she asked my friend to marry her husband and raise all their children together. Through taking care of her she got to know her husband and son and when she passed she granted her wish and married n raised the children together and they are still married.
There is so much in this beautifully written story and I would buy and recommend this easily..Please let me know if you upload some more.

Paced to perfection, descriptives amazing, and the emotional connection to the main characters are binding Backed with ease and a warm smile..Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

Dear Toby --

We just love a good love triangle, especially when it has a twist like Stained Glass does. You've done a superb job of revealing the flaws and endearing qualities of Megan, Sam and Rebekah; the ambiguity of their situation works without feeling forced or contrived. This is a terrific "What of ot happened to me?" story that will intrigue and engage readers.

Backed with pleasure -- Delhui, The Long Black Veil

Toby, your first chapter is a smooth read. Good mix of narrative and dialogue in there. Nothing to nitpick.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Toby and emotional read. well written, with good flow and educated use of colorful words. You create well and your book is BACKED by me. I would ask that you read some of my work so that you can comment and it will be greatly appreciated. BEST of luck Denise

You have created an excellent storyline and I like what you have posted so far. Your highly descriptive writing style makes your finely crafted story a pleasure to read. Your work is well written, well paced, your use of imagery is excellent and the dialogue is tight and realistic. Backed with pleasure.

Cheers,
Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

I'm going to be late for work now as i just kept saying one more chapter. Anyway now in haste. i love it great storyline loads of side issues good guy bad guy dying wife tis has it all and its going back on my w/L for when i get home tonight. well writter strongy crafted charachters an exceptional read.

Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley

Your pitch is quite interesting, the stained glass metaphor unique. BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

Powerful book. A page turner and one destined to ride high. you write really really well and the pace is amazing. So too are the characters.

Backed for sure
The Lord of the Dawn

A charming idea nicely executed.

Wonderful, best of luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

OK, you have a good voice. and your narrative flows well. these are two of the main things I look for when supporting someone. i've only read the first couple of chapters, so I can't really say much about plot structure, but but tone, voice, and flow are very compelling and I think you have talent as a writer. If you have the intuition for a compelling , cohesive plot, I could see this doing well here. Good job. I wish you thre best. Please read some of my book, The Age of Rhinestoone, when you have time and let me know what you think. feedback is welcome.

cheers
blueboy

Excellent narrative. I love how you switch between the male and female voices with such ease!
Ashley - Ordinary Alice

Hi Toby and how are you? From what I have read so far, I really liked this peice. I shall be returning. I liked the story so far and the way you write.
BACKED INDEED.

Hope you get the chance to take a little peek inside The Russian Hat

Sincerly
Brendan Doherty
The Russian Hat

Sad, emotional, evocative, human and emotional, didn't I just say that? well it's true. backed with pleasure.

Oh God! Where's the bloomin' tissues. An emotional read that flows really well and captures the readers attention as well as impacts on their heartstrings.

Happily shelved
Melxx
Impeding Justice

Maggie recommended this to me and I can see why. You build up your characters in a very sympathetic way such that we really feel for their predicament. Since a family member had their husband run off with the babysitter it struck a nerve.
Regards,
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

STAINED GLASS
This is a sad story: an ill woman’s husband in love with a young girl. A reader can’t help but be sympathetic with Sam; he doesn’t have much of a life at present. At the same time, both Katherine and Samantha are both such nice persons, they’re sympathetic too. It’s an interesting quandary a reader wants to follow to see how it will all play out. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

I like the even pace and the dialogue, "who dat man" as well as the storyline. The introspective thoughts of the protagonist are great because they seem so real. Backed. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures)

Dear Toby,

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
Psychiatric Evaluation

Hi Toby, I've just had a quick read and will definitely read more later and comment again. I thought your pitch was masterful. Hooked!
Best wishes, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

An enjoyable read - a perfectly pitched submission - not too heavy but thought provoking enough to be more meaningful than some chick lit books. Your song references are clever and you capture tension, pain and anger perfectly. It is professionally presented and should do well. Best wishes - Paula Barrett (Cuthbert: How mean is my Valley?)

Welcome aboard, Toby. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch TELLS instead of SHOWS. For the long pitch, instead of having several questions throughout, end it with one succinct question to pique your casual reader's interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Dear, I love that you are writing a Love Story Series - that will be great. :) At least none of my 6 husbands have cheated on me - just physical & verbal abuse - is that worse? Maybe fodder for some of your future books, huh? :) My memoir tells all. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

I relate to this all to well. Glad to see someone is writing about it. Great job.
BACKED!
Please have a look at mine when you have a chance,.
Christopher