Sunlight Strikes a Window and Splinters

Pete,

Some books on here you want to read because of the pitch, some you want to read because of the forum activities of the author, yet others we read because they fall within a genre we admire or enjoy.
You my friend are a strange melding of all three – a man of interest around this site and no doubt beyond, an engaging pitch and I love short fiction. So here I am.

I read A Delicate Situation and then scanned all the others – my only restriction being my limited free time as opposed to the appeal of the material on offer.

A Delicate Situation is satirical moral skit which I found amusing and more than a little sad. It is well written and I found your style pleasing and easy to follow. The key being that I can see a discernable style in your work – you have a voice Pete, not words a-skitter on the page, you have a discernable voice and I picked it up throughout your work.

Blackly comical yet so very true, A Delicate Situation parodies human dispute resolution perfectly – especially the unresolved nature of their argument as both die and are forgotten, yet still they are entwined, even in death. Wonderful stuff.

Now I am going to be honest Pete – I ain’t in the habit of just chatting bubbles to garner favour, this is how it is for me. I flitted around the rest of the offerings and I found myself dragged in and around a quite brilliant smirch of personalities and situations.

You play with emotions and foibles so well, with such deft clarity that when the hammer blows come they blow you away – it’s all here for me, the whole essence of the human condition.

You’re a ridiculously good writer and I am a tad jealous of you Pete. That you are on so few shelves says more about the site than it does your ability. I know you are not one to care for such, but you will have a place on my shelf in the near future.

We have spoken on the forums about books at length. As I said before I own nigh on 3000 of them. It would be an honour to add yours to that number – an honour that one day, I am certain I will be able to uphold.

In a world were claims of genius are marginalised by overuse – you sir, are quite simply in a class of your own.

I enjoyed one of your other works here (Chapter One). Based on that one, I'd have gone back to the bookstore to pick up this one.

Based on this one, I'd have gone back again to pick up everything you ever wrote.

You suggested people read random stories here, so of course I read all of them. You amaze me with your wit, your range of insight, and your sheer talent.

The first one was amusing. (Made me think of Gaines-Burgers. They don't make those anymore, I guess.) By the end of the sixth one, I thought I might fall in love with you. By the end of the seventh one, I knew I had. Did I cry? Of course I did.

The ninth one, I saw it coming, but I read on anyway to see how you got through it. Clever. (Same with twelve: saw it coming a mile away, but still enjoyed reading every bit of it.)

The tenth, I read three times. You sort of confused me with this one, I admit. I read it top down and then inside-out, then again from the beginning. I think I followed it, but I can't be sure. I might still have been rattled from all the emotions stirred up in prior pages.

Eleven was a twist, peculiar. Thought-provoking. I wish it could be so simple. Life would be so much easier. There truly is a lie at the center of every belief, isn't there?

And then of course, thirteen. By now my emotions were so whipped up, I was ready to beat the guy to death myself. I haven't thirsted for blood in that way for years. Your blend of stories set me up just so; I was appalled at my reaction, I was cheering them on. (I'm still feeling mighty violent, I think it may be a good day to go out and chop weeds.)

Alright, here are a few typos and things, to make you happy so you won't think I'm just an adoring sop:

In the middle of 7, her first moan (took) John by surprise. And after Jayne leaves, when he goes to sit with Liam, it says: John didn't feel inclined to carry the joke any farther with Liam. A few paragraphs later, it says almost the exact same thing: he didn't want to carry the joke any farther with Liam. It seemed a bit repetitive, coming so close. There are also a number of strange typographical glitches here where I think Autho doesn't like your special characters, but not much you can do about that I guess.

In 9 "...plucked the head of a delphinium from his jacket and looking for a place..." Should probably be "looked" for a place.

In 11, before he sits down... his legs ached, as did "the his" foot from kicking the door. There is also an errant apostrophe: His mind, having reached "it's" conclusion... (should be "its")

Brilliant work. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

OMG, I randomly selected Ch 7 to read and, what a ride. The story goes through several changes of, what shall I call it, not "pace" excactly, but ... direction or mood or, oh, I don't know what to call it. But the story shifts gears, sometimes revving up, sometimes throttling down. Just when I thought I had the game plan figured out, something would change. Parts were light hearted and funny, others were almost preachy, and some were touchingly sentimental. A great read. I am glad I stopped by.

Hi Peter ...

First I must say I love the title, it is so descriptive and so true. Sunlight does strike a window and splinter, but I have never thought of it in that way before. I have read ten and thirteen, ten I find very whimsical, it suggests but does not suggest. It is well written with strong characters and good dialogue.

Thirteen is something else. You have portrayed you characters well, for I knew a couple very similar, some years ago and it could almost have been them you were writing about. At first I found it very funny, how they argued over the colour pink. Then the comedy faded to be replaced with something darkly sinister. You could almost feel the temperature dropping word by word. The skilful way you manipulated your reader from comedy to evil was inspired writing. Once again, characters are strong and dialogue good and the plot very sinister. 'Backed'. Regards ... Duncan.

I'm no good at comments, especially when i feel at a loss for sane words so i will just say;
Your a fuckin compliment to the craft my friend!
Not once have a felt inferior as a story teller, but its a short story like number 13 that makes me realize how sloppy I put my work on this site.
This small piece of your work is hands down the best thing I have read on this site. The few books i have allowed my self to read since writing my first book, are Hemingway and Dickens and you have the new translated voice of the old greats. I felt like i was getting a sneak peak at a chunk of a new Guy Ritchie film, there is a beautiful kind of greasy magic that lives in your brain i hope to experience someday when you let me buy you a beer.
I have been looking for someone just like you to be my European counter part (Though i doubt my work on this site will show you that I am up to the level) Give me a little time to dot some i's and make it readable to the rest and i will hopefully grab your attention.
I'm going to add you to multiple shelves and other dumb things on here that are just a way for me to keep track of you so that i can read more things in the hopes that i have misjudged you and am able to find you closer to the human standard of writing than this story would allow me to believe.
These could sound like words of madness but if you are who i think you are by what i've read you will easily understand that its the greatest compliment i have ever given a fellow writer.
Cheers, larders and gravy or what ever you lot say to one another, god bless you for writing words,
and for the sake of the world and all its purities,
Keep in touch.
Sincerely,
Eric Shira

Chapter 13 Excellent 6* although the pc police might tie you up and throw away the key. Karen, born in Leicester married to a man from Bradford.

Sunlight Strikes a Window and Splinters - Pete Marchetto

I saw Painted Pony's thread and came to see. I wasn't disappointed. I've only read Meat, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I felt that you wanted the reader to guess that it was human meat, so when when I actually found out how it was produced, well, it was quirky! I didn't know what to expect after the court case but it was a most amusing end. I shall have to come back for more.

janie :)

Chapter 11: Spellbinding. Completely spellbinding.

Chapter 10: Beautifully written, but I felt confused about what was really going on.

This is delightful. This narrative style is delightful. It’s demented of course, delightfully so, at least the one on cannibalism is. I only wish that it was a functioning link, on your short pitch, which promised a list of all the stories and a brief description of each of them. I only wish I had more time, to read more of them. In the meanwhile I am more than happy to back this, and highly star it, and wish you the best of luck. This writing really is delightful – and I’m lost for words. It’s just dementedly delightful.
Best wishes from
Eileen Kardos
The Noodle Trail

Meat, and The Big Toe - you are an incredible writer! Meat - eating human flesh disturbs me for reasons I can't explain. The concept of moral meat is good, but it's human and I still couldn't... yuk.
The Big Toe is what I imagine people are thinking in that situation. I loved that you had your characters say their thoughts rather then make small talk - I realize I've stopped making any sense, I'll leave it there.

Loved Chapter 9:)

Chapter 7 - Two words. Completely. mesmerizing.

chapter six..I have to know...does she return?

Just read the third story. I liked your smooth flow and easy pace, full of important little details that mean so much more than they originally present. This story and the first remind me a lot of the short stories found in Alfred Hitchcock's short story magazines. I really like the line about reading the note so it would stop nagging him - keen insight there. I am going to continue - yes, because I want to! (ps. I could tell the second story was going to require some deep thinking, so being lazy, I skipped it. Hope you don't mind:)) Hugs, Ruby

I'm a little nervous commenting on these stories, they're that good. I dipped into the middle ones as I know it gets a bit boring when everyone reads the first two or the last. I loved the twist ending of the Elvis one, very funny! Then I read number 7 which was an altogether more serious story. I can't fault it in the writing or the exploration of various characters motives and feelings. The right ending too but sad, one of Jayne's heartbreakers. 6 stars and on my watchlist.

masterful.

I know who Elvis is, but I'm not saying anything. The survival of humantity depends on it. Really good and funny too.

At your request - crap - hope that helps

Spot-on, Steve, exactly what was required I think.

Blooded at last. Now people can take the work seriously.

:)

At your request - crap - hope that helps

For a short story writer like me, it is outstanding and outstandingly rated. Nice peace of work. What is worth it is worth it!
Notime goes bye,
Josphine

engaging stories....should have gotten to the desk by now. giving you more support.
j
what every woman should know

Nice bedtime stories! Happy to back your work. Hope you have a chance to take a look at Dark Side by CC Brown.
Sue50

G'day! Jon Michaels

Being a short story writer myself, I'm so pleased to see a short story writer in the front line, so to speak.

Well done! I think you are going to make it! Moreover, I'm going to back you all the way.

Regards,
KEN BLOWERS

Short Stories
Drama/Comedy one-act plays
Plus QUOTE ME
A book of 1,000 quotations

Sorry, meant to add - Great artwork!

Cyrus

Wonderful stuff, intelligent and funny. I loved the first chapter and will savour your tales just like the bloody doctor. i have no hesitation in backing your work - well done.

Cyrus

PS: your style and content reminded me somewhat of Roald Dahl's short stories.

Hi Pete. I absolutely LOVE your writing; it's funny, incisive, clever and original. You clearly love the English language and exploit its possibilities to the full. I gave this six stars. (I love your 'sussuration of tittering.' I want to mount a campaign to bring back some of this wonderfully descriptive but under-used words.
Do take a look at 'Jelly-Boy' if you have a moment.
Many thanks.

Your title lured me to read this- love it, very visual title! I like the way you write very much. I found some of the stories strikingly sad at times, yet very funny at others. A book to delve back into another day. Watchlisted and star rated. Good luck!

l can see little wrong with this, apart from a little editing. good style and pace does its work...
good enough to back...
read SEASONS...

hi Pete,
I have just started your book and backed it straight away for the wit and stylish writing skills. Chapter 1 impressed me because the scene sounds so bourgeois and is in reality so very science fiction. With great bravado the moral issue is laughed out of court and the reader has (unnoticed and on the side) been brainwashed into accepting the events as completely normal, finding it totally hunky dory and ok, especially when a happy double engagement-ending completes the illusion. Clever stuff.
Ame

hello Pete--

book-Sunlight strikes a window--

Read chapters one, and all about Dr Gaines and Mrs.Crouch, Amusing story featuring discussion about eating food, engrossing in it's own way-
chapter2 - again another absorbing read,
chapter 11-belief, making for interesting reading.
to sum up, the sort of a book when published that one can take down beside a warm fire and read a story that is not to long in content-
All making lfor easy reading that allow for time to make a cuppa,
good luck with this well written book Pete-

tom bye
book-from hugs to kisses;
oblige please and glance at mine,

I read Meat and I wasn't overly impressed at first, I found the first section to be a bit clumsy and overwritten, but it grew on me as it went on. I thought the middle section was a lot tighter and really helped move things along, and the pay-off was funny and well delivered.

Prune some of the adverbs and adjectives from that first section, have a general whip through with the red editing pen and you will have something pretty strong on your hands here. There is a definite market for quirky short stories, a bit like Roald Dahl's Tales of the Unexpected, and this, if worked on, could be in the same vein.

Very great book Pete!

Please take a look at mine as well and let me know what you think! http://www.authonomy.com/books/39033/awaken-the-financial-genius-in-you/

Warmest regards,

Tonny.

SUNLIGHT STRIKES A WINDOW
I read Chapter 4. Your description of poor Timothy’s life is well written; it’s easy for a reader to relate to that. Loved the ending. Didn’t see that coming. You have a good technique for short stories; you give enough detail settings and such are clear, not so much your short story turns into a long one. I’ll add this to my shelf. Wannabeawriter. Who Killed the President?

Pete,

After reading this great story (Meat), I just browsed through the comments/reviews your writing has garnered, and I see that a lot of other reviewers have likened your style to that of Dickens (greatest possible compliment in itself). Aside from the very fluid and very intelligent writing (not to mention the smart plot), it's the well-rounded character- development in such a short space of time that makes your work very special.

Although I have read just this one story from you so far (I saw and joined this community only last night), I don't want to believe that you are not already published and critically acclaimed.

I was drawn to your short stories right away. I've only read the first one so far...you had me at meat. =) You do a fantastic job of creating a visual and drawing the reader into the space. I've backed your book(s) and will read on.

If you'd like to check out "War of the Wastelands": King Ronin of Urla must align with his enemies and free those enslaved before the prophecy unravels in the War of the Wastelands.

I would really appreciate it. No worries, though, if you are busy.

Just read the second of your stories, A Delicate Situation, and just as with the first one (Meat), I was pleasantly surprised not just with the obvious intelligence behind the writing, but with the style of the writing itself and with the way such a compelling allegorical tale is told. Fine stories, in easily-manageable chunks and written with a flowing style that just carries you along. You come across in the style of a writer of bygone days (this is a compliment), and if I had shelled out my hard-earned cash for an anthology of stories of this standard I would be pleased with the purchase. Easily my favourite author on the site so far.

I am new to the site and have just read Meat - and was pleasantly surprised to find such darkly comic fare on offer, and of such quality.... your style is eminently readable and reminds me much of the excellent Roald Dahl.... indeed you could imagine this story flowing from the pen of Dahl himself... at the same time you make a very valid point of discussion as we move further into the 21st century... a very good short story and a fine read on a Saturday night as I relax with a glass of lager

Charles Dickens eat your heart out! Re-reading these short stories and find they make me smile just as they did the first time round. Ingenius plots, great characters and so beautifully written.

Mary

Read one story.
Really brilliant.

Lindsay
A Priest's Tale

Chapter 9 got the thumbs up, so if you'd like me to test the TSR give me a shout and I'll whack it on the ole shelf.

Oh I liked this! Clever man. I read the first story today, and enjoyed it - I thought it was fun and slightly grim. The only improvement I could suggest would be to perhaps tighten up the opening paras, and perhaps sharpen the doctor's internal dialogue a little. I thought the policeman's was spot on, but diluted slightly by the echo of Gaines (I hope that makes sense). I'd also want to see a little more about the ambition of the doctor - what gave him his urge to eat the meat? Was he a veggie?
I'm looking forward to reading another story when I get a moment,
Best wishes,
Carlie

Hah, that was great, Chapter three I mean. A clever little story indeed.
Not slow, didn't get boring, and a lovely little twist at the end. Nicely done, Pete.

Starred and shelved.

Lisa. x

Pete,

Some books on here you want to read because of the pitch, some you want to read because of the forum activities of the author, yet others we read because they fall within a genre we admire or enjoy.
You my friend are a strange melding of all three – a man of interest around this site and no doubt beyond, an engaging pitch and I love short fiction. So here I am.

I read A Delicate Situation and then scanned all the others – my only restriction being my limited free time as opposed to the appeal of the material on offer.

A Delicate Situation is satirical moral skit which I found amusing and more than a little sad. It is well written and I found your style pleasing and easy to follow. The key being that I can see a discernable style in your work – you have a voice Pete, not words a-skitter on the page, you have a discernable voice and I picked it up throughout your work.

Blackly comical yet so very true, A Delicate Situation parodies human dispute resolution perfectly – especially the unresolved nature of their argument as both die and are forgotten, yet still they are entwined, even in death. Wonderful stuff.

Now I am going to be honest Pete – I ain’t in the habit of just chatting bubbles to garner favour, this is how it is for me. I flitted around the rest of the offerings and I found myself dragged in and around a quite brilliant smirch of personalities and situations.

You play with emotions and foibles so well, with such deft clarity that when the hammer blows come they blow you away – it’s all here for me, the whole essence of the human condition.

You’re a ridiculously good writer and I am a tad jealous of you Pete. That you are on so few shelves says more about the site than it does your ability. I know you are not one to care for such, but you will have a place on my shelf in the near future.

We have spoken on the forums about books at length. As I said before I own nigh on 3000 of them. It would be an honour to add yours to that number – an honour that one day, I am certain I will be able to uphold.

In a world were claims of genius are marginalised by overuse – you sir, are quite simply in a class of your own.

I sussed out he was a cannibal early - why I don't know, but the rest of it was magical!

Well done.

Pete, I read "Big Toe," and I believe she'll come back. She'll come back for more of the clever dialog, the amusing awkwardness of the clever dialog, and for the pain of the amusing awkwardness.

~AudreyB

I've read your first three stories here and wanted to comment. I'm not one for going line by line through a tale to pick up every single missing comma, and there was hardly anything like that to talk about here anyway, so this isn't *that* kind of review!

'Meat' was very enjoyable. I did have a feeling as soon as the housekeeper remarked on the meat being pork that it was going to turn out to be people, and there was a vague sense towards the end that there should have been a second third twist waiting after the people meat and the discovery that it was 'grown'. I'm not sure why I thought that, I had just had a sense of building anticipation in the scene where the doctor returns to his study, as though he were going to reveal something more.

Despite that though, I still enjoyed the story and based on the first few paragraphs I would probably have picked this up in a bookshop and bought it :)

The second story was interesting, not exactly to my taste (and you can't be blamed for that) but an amusing comment on viewing the world in black and white.

The third, I very much liked. Again, I guessed before the reveal that the ingenious device was in fact a bit of clever trickery, but that hardly mattered because the story itself was funny and well told - I still wanted to read to the end even though I thought I knew what was going on.

Overall this feels like I book I could see myself buying. I'm not very clear on why it's not doing better in the rankings. Anyway, I keep seeing people talking about chapter 7 in the comments, so I'm off to have a read of that too!

Story 10 - the collection's title story - had to read this one twice, of course, because I was fooled into thinking there was only one "he". The two windows, their symbolism... good stuff.

Great title for the collection.

Story 8 - Reservation. This is lovely - perfectly formed in fact. Maybe we've all been here at some point - on one side of the carriage or another.

OK, you kinda asked for this by posting a forum thread, so here we are:

Personally I'm vegetarian, so can't comment here.

I have no technical suggestions so far. Presumably you are aware of your technical excellence. I am hoping that the liver is human though, otherwise this is looking a lot like a dinner diary!

I think you overuse "Mrs Crouch" is one paragraph. I'm sure this is an artistic choice, but just technically speaking it reads as a bit awkwardly.

Is Mrs Crouch actually Mrs Mop? Why does she talk like this?

The word galumphing is considerably underused in my view. Nice work Sir.

I knew it! Human meat!

Very clever story. Takes a while to get going in my view, but once it did I was hooked. Totally original. Nice job.

Your intelligent marketing worked. And I read chap 6,9 and 13. I liked 13 the most. I liked how you show Love and violence feeding off each other. You showed in a engaging way how discrimination and oppression can harden the gentlest of hearts and make people do what they didn't think it possible for them to do. However, I think I would have liked the couple to suffer some negative consequence of the murder.

On chapter 9, the relationship between steve and maria is warm and nice to see develop. I suppose, although I was felt a little cold in the end to Steve's wonder.

Chapter 6 was bit too whimsical for my taste.

Sunlight Strikes a Window and Splinters:

Wish I had time to read all of these stories in one sitting, but for now I only had time for Meat, and Maria. Both, I found to be entertaining. I don't read pitches as I like to discover things as I go along, but in Meat, I had a strong guess what the Dr. was eating from the start. I'd read a similar story about ten years ago, but the writer didn't reveal this until the very end when he served this menu to his friends.

I love your writing and you have a good ear for dialogue in both stories. The only nits I have are the numbers. I found them distracting not being spelt out. But if it's your intention not to, then just ignore below. :) There are a couple of typos in Maria. See below.

I've given this collection lots of stars and have added it to my 'Backing' list for shelving a bit later.

Cáit :o)

~ Reminiscing ~

~~~
Meat - ...galumphing great 36 year old, - thirty-six year old?

Maria, I'm 25 years old / - twenty-five years old?

your being 25 years old / - same -

endearing quality at 86." / eighty-six

You're 25?" / far as the 50s - / "21." / woman of 21 / - Aged 8 /- At 17, - spell these?

Typos:
the lead r^le in a British film - the lead role

super-model, fLted - fitted?

more the naVvety - naivety

a British film of the early 30s. - early Thirties

Whatever r^le Maria had - role

"I know she's your son's fiancJe." - fiancee

was ,15.47p. - fifteen pounds forty-seven pence

for my 85th birthday. - eighty-fifth

I read chapter 10 and chapter 13 and am in awe of your writing skill. Both were brilliant stories that I had to finish. I would read more if I had tme but for now I've star-rated and backed it.
Gill

Hi Pete,
I think the short story is coming back into vogue with new lectronic reading devices and goldfish like attention spans. I like Meat. It's neat. A treat.