Walking with a Demon... Waiting for an Angel

Mark.

I will back your book because of the premis and because I want to encourage you to keep writing. However, I would like to offer you advice. I suggest that you have your work carefully edited, and I suggest you be very objective about the editing. Soutexmex was trying to give you the same advice. Believe me, I know what I am talking about. I have been working on Jamie 7 literally for years. It has been edited twice by professional editors and still needs editing. The version that has been posted on this site is an older version. So if you take a look at it, you will still spot excess commas and the like. I should upload the latest edited version, and I will soon.

I have learned that is a mistake to take a personal aditude toward editing. I have learned to be greatfull for any editing I can have done. Editors and proof readers strive to help us writers because we are just humans.

I hope this advice helps you.
Keep Smiling
Joseph D Palermo

this wonderful work. the description just enough to see what you envisioned.

i think you want Damn instead of Dam in chapter one.

me

Hi Mark,

This is an interesting concept. Great vivid descriptions and believable characters. It pulled me in and kept me glued. A page turner. Very well executed and polished writing.

Shinzy :)

Interesting idea, that heaven regulates the demonic prescence in the world under their rules is a good one and the vessel, Jubal, is a brilliant asset to the story. There is so much to explore here as the story becomes multilayered and agendas come into play and what people forget is that these type of stories only work when you have a human heart at the epicentre and Jubal's quest to save his family gives it a personal edge and raises the stakes for him. Demons and heaven are infinite, time with your family is finite. Owen Quinn The Time Warriors.

Hi Mark, Well-constructed and the ideas are eerie and thought-provoking. Your descriptions of the angel and the demons blending with science were well-stated. And I liked the writing later on concerning Jubal’s injury, blended with his emotions. This became fascinating as I read, a read-on book! Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Backed with pleasure. Well crafted and polished.

Liz
The Cheech Room

Mark, there is a natural stream of writing that seems to have all the elements of a great novel, you are a good writer and the themes are compelling. I would buy this book and give to friends, job well done

Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Clever premise. 'His special abilities and design' hooked me. Jubal is likable. You flesh him out well. Your descriptions are vivid. For example, your description of the mirrored sliding closet door ... the portal. You enrich your narrative with apt similies such as 'like looking through a big, plate glass mirror.' Your conversations flow naturally and enliven your story. Your pacing held my interest.

Nit:
'Like moths to a flame' is cliche.

This is an intriguing, well-crafted paranormal. Backed.

okay, so this is the first Christian horror story I've come across but, seriously, what an absolutely fabulous idea. I really like this premise and the sleep paralysis makes it all too horribly plausible. The writing is a little uneven but it won't take much to tidy it up.. I'm not 100% sure about the 'audience asides' that pop in - I'd be tempted to keep it straight somehow to keep the tone right. Maybe try reading it out loud? You'll hear where it goes slightly off...
Very happy to back this for a very original idea that has massive potential.

WALKING WITH A DEMON
This is a unique take on a demon story – a teenager who is actually a demon catcher - and, as such, should find a wide following about fantasy fans. Jubal is an immediately likable and sympathetic character. I recently tore my ACL playing touch football so I could feel his pain as I read this. It’s a good story. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

You create wonderful tension almost immediately. Creepy and superbly written.

Can't wait to read what else is in store.
Happily shelved
Melxx
Impeding Justice

Hooked, good luck with this. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

It seems a very superficial thing to say, but I think interest in Christianity could be re-kindled not by the Bible, but by books like this. With such a title, who wouldn't want to read it? Backed. Lynn

Good start!!!!!
You certainly know how to build tension in a reader.
Very much like how you set and structure scenes.
This has turned in to a very engaging (if some what creepy) read – Good luck!

This is a popular genre and it would be easy to become cliched but you have avoided this with lots of original touches. These kind of books are still quite new to the UK so i am enjoying reading Christian based novels. All we have really is CS Lewis!
Good luck with this,
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

I've read a little of your book, and I will put you on my bookshelf just as soon as there's room tomorrow. I am intrigued by your pitch and will be reading more tomorrow. Please take a look at Seka, my story of a Ugandan boy and how his life is changed when he befriends an American missionary family.
Blessings!
Sharon Cooper
Seka

Very clever and fascinating story. You conjure up the atmosphere and we know a lot of the character Jubal early.

backed for sure
the Lord of the dawn

Grippingly intense. Almost from the start you write with an air of subtle mystery and increasing tension that leaves the reader desperate for more.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Backed with confidence! Tom Ryerson (Carnal Wreckage)

Welcome aboard, Mark. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch works. For the long pitch, drop out the Excorcist reference and any TELL, just leave SHOW. End it with one succinct question instead of several to pique your casual reader's interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Hi Mark,

I have backed your book because I was hooked by the pitch, loved the introduction and read on. How much more I read depends on time and commitment.

Enjoy everything and good luck.

Rusty Bernard
Psychiatric Evaluation

Hi Mark,

Yikes, this is really creepy. How come you can write such creepy stuff? Well done.

Glad it wasn't The Exorcist 15.

BACKED!

Best wishes, Barry

Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

This was an intelligent submission and it was obvious that your writing is based on previously gained knowledge which you related to you book. Your descriptions are vivid but not overly done and your writing is smooth and makes for an easy read due to the compact paragraphs and tight sentences. Wishing you the best of luck - Paula (Cuthbert: How mean is my Valley?)

Dear Mark, I love that it's like "The Exorcist" :) - only the cross would cast the demon out. :) Revelation 12 says they withstood the devil by the blood of the Lamb & the Word of their testimony. Even Michael said, "The Lord rebuke you" in Jude. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your pitch, which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)