Sticks and Bones

I don't see many YA crime books around, and this was an absolute delight. A far cry from the good old days of Nancy Drew, we have an intelligent and thrilling read. You treat the violence with care, making it realistic, subtly horrific without painting the scene red, and strong characters make this a brilliant read.

Backed with pleasure.

Abi xx

Absolutely brilliant story. You know how to tell a good story and pull the reader along for a thrilling ride.

The murder scene was excellently executed (oops excuse the pun!!) Spot on character developement majes this an all round exciting MUST read.

Very happily shelved
Melxx

Hi Donna. Your pitch introduces a plot with a good concept. Marcia's character comes across well and her reflections to her youth paint a picture of her personality. I liked the part where she entered the barn and recollected her brothers prank. I think the little touches you write make her a character that young adults can relate to. Your sttle is good and the tention builds at a good pace. Backed and best of luck with this! Maria (Cosmic Linx)

Stcks and bones

WoW! This is a page turner. You got the suspense with the missing girl. leah and the body with half a tongue missing. You have all the facets, details, approahes neeeded to pull of a thriller murder plot. Great writing to back it up.
One hell of a a book Damned good.

Backed
The lord of the dawn

Hi Donna

Some repetition that you might want to take care of: "states" and "state" in the same sentence, "check" and "checking" in the same sentence, "pen" twice in the same sentence

Apart from those nitpicks, an absolutely riveting read, in spite of the gross discovery in the pig pen, and a sympathetic MC. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

There is something real about a crime thriller and your book has 'it' .I will back this book and enjoy it . perhaps you could have a look at my books - good luck !

Hi,
I have had this on my shelf for a few days because I really wanted to read it. I think you are on to some good ideas here. Your storyline is really great and it is a good morale too. I have some thoughts but only want to share them if you want some feedback--ps I read to the end of the book! Let me know if you would like me to message you with more feedback.
Barbara

Hi Donna,

Your pitch and tags made me want to read more. An enjoyable to read, as you set the scene beautifully.
Backed with pleasure!

I hope you can have a look at my book. Any comments are really appreciated as I am always trying to make improvements:)

Warm regards,
Manolya- Love in No-Man's Land

Very good read and one of the better YA stories on site - doesn't talk down to the audience. :)

I like your use of dialogue to start the book. It sets the pace nicely and involves the reader immediately. Your use of short paragraphs and crisp, realistic dialogue keeps the flow of your story moving well. Your work is character rich, I especially like how you build Marcia, and your descriptive writing is sure to appeal to the YA audience. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hooked! This will do very well here, lost of thriller fans. The audience of YA is going to be pounding at your door wanting the next book. Good luck. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Relentless pace and polished writing kept me reading - and reading. Great stuff! Backed.
Joanna Carter
Fossil Farm

I really enjoyed your pitch and was drawn in by your very impressive prose. Your opening chapter, introducing Marcia was most effective but it was chapter two where it came alive for me. Very accessible prose, and great characters highly suited to your target audience. I would lose the comma after 'but' in paragraph eleven of chapter 2 but other than that I had nothing to nitpick.
x
carl
The Time Hunters

This is a well written crime story, like one used to write, backed. Hope you'll read mine.

Hi
This is a good story. I would suggest you start the story when the dialogue starts...'Detective Grant.' A gruff male voice came...' This is where you collar the reader's attention and the story comes alive. The backstory that comes prior to this can be fed in later here and there. This shows promise.
Shelved.
A return read and comment would be appreciated.
cheers olga

This story was very good. I really enjoyed reading it and the beginning is quite hair raising.
Backed,
Sofia (The Lost Inheritance)

Sticks and Bones
Donna R. Wood

Clever title Donna. Your West Fargo setting reads like a realistic one and Leah's description and disappearance with the surrounding details regarding school and so on, should be appealing elements for your target audience, including the references to modern technological crutches. Good grief - some really sordid details, her tongue cut in half... the fact that this case doesn't fit with the average murder case of a young white female in America is a great hook at the end of this chapter. Well written chapter which kept my attention and I hope to return to read more as time permits. Happy to back it and all the best with it. (You should look into getting a cover for this which might give it more visibility by distinguishing it from others with the same standard HC cover.)

I don't see many YA crime books around, and this was an absolute delight. A far cry from the good old days of Nancy Drew, we have an intelligent and thrilling read. You treat the violence with care, making it realistic, subtly horrific without painting the scene red, and strong characters make this a brilliant read.

Backed with pleasure.

Abi xx

Thrillling intrigue and well defined characters makes for a fascinating read. Really nice! BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

Hi Donna,

I enjoy reading other peoples work, I don't critique grammar, who hasn't missed out a comma or a full stop? I just tell you if I enjoy your work.
I love the intrigue, I love the pace and I love the pitch. Glad to back you.

Phil
Danny Murphy

Hi Donna,
I couldn’t resist this as the title is close to one of my own (now abandoned) novels.
It’s not only that which drew me in, however, as I love a good thriller and this has all the makings of one from your synopsis.
The Teenscene website is a nice introduction, different and very much ‘of the time’; as an IT writer (in my day job) I know that online is the first place I’d look for information about a missing teenager.
I like the way that Marcia easily identifies with high school. Personally, I think for us all it’s such a defining time of our lives that it’s one that’s easy to go back to. You mix this well with her lack of understanding and confusion about how catty the girls can be online.
Her character develops well, and you raise some interesting questions about why she turned her back on a career in law for the forensics.
I like the way that you segue from her internal dialogue into the conversation on the phone, but also tell us salient information about the force. This is a neat trick to pull off. It’s easy to get bogged down in one person’s narrative and forget for the MC to interact with other, a trap you don’t fall into.
The tension builds well at the crime scene. I love the way that we see her elated at the discovery of a body and then repulsed by the reality of the scene. You tease us with what has actually happened, just enough. Similarly, you don’t give too graphic a description, but my imagination has already done the job for you - nice work.
There’s also a nice contrast between her and Jonathan, which lets us see her softer, sympathetic side, again this is nice character development.
Shelved.
Sarah
P.S - I don’t ask for return reads but if you do wish to do so I’d prefer you look at Touch Sensitive rather than The Sticks and Stones novel.

Hi Donna. Your pitch introduces a plot with a good concept. Marcia's character comes across well and her reflections to her youth paint a picture of her personality. I liked the part where she entered the barn and recollected her brothers prank. I think the little touches you write make her a character that young adults can relate to. Your sttle is good and the tention builds at a good pace. Backed and best of luck with this! Maria (Cosmic Linx)

This is very well written and a well thought out plot. It's sad I don't have time to read it all, but right now I'm rather hoping that 'Large Marge' did it and doesn't get found out, ever. You have the teenage nastiness down pat, and it shows now more than ever when they can use the internet for their bullying instead of having to face their victim.
Errors, I found just two, in the long pitch and Ch1, both the same, 'clung too' when it should be 'clung to.' There was also 'smoldering' which should be 'smouldering' in my book, but that's probably just an Americanism.
An excellent book, and I have put it on my shelf . Marj.

Sticks and Bones:

Interesting start with the disappearance of Leah Marie. Good writing, just needs a bit of editing, but don’t all our books need that?

You do a good job of reeling the reader right into the scenes with this entertaining story with a likable MC.

What do we got so far? Would her grammar be this bad?

Yipes! I didn’t expect the part about the tongue! :o.

Changing to Officer Drakes POV was a bit of a jolt. Pulled me out of the story a bit.

Great first chapter, but I think the second last paragraph would make a much stronger ending. If you agree, you could work the last paragraph into the beginning of chapter two. With a slight revision, you could have Marcia thinking about the crime scene as she walks to her truck the next morning on her way to the school? She could still have the same emotions about her father for a minute, before going into the school? Just a thought…

Wish I had more time to keep reading.

All the best with this, and it’s already on my shelf.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

You are very adapt at building and layering your story.
This is not your normal catch a killer story.
The complexity of your story calls for a lot of work on your book to ensure you've crossed all the t's and dotted your i's. Things I think you can really only do if you've read the whole book. An important thing I learnt from an experienced author was you don't need to explain everything to the reader, but you should always to be explain it to yourself.
Solid writing, Backed with pleasure
David
Bailey of the Saints

You certainly can create intrigue!
Think how you set this up with the early conflict is very good brilliant opening.
It also helps the readers to engage, as your characterisation is very good. I have enjoyed reading this and it is one of the few on my to read more list. – Good luck!

My personal favorite chapter is 15. Somehow it scares me a little.

Great opening chapter and I read a few chapters at random (7,12 and 17) and was impressed to see the level of writing and tension and pace are consistent. Like the pitch and story. Also the depiction of teenagers is very realistic and genuine. Happy to back!
Fabrice, Club Wars

I think I need to explain, in the story, why the bike wasn't spotted or considered as a piece of evidence. I don't know how many readers have actually been on a farm, let alone inside of a barn, but a bike in a barn is not uncommon.

I've struggled with exactly where in the story to put this piece of information. I'll work it out somehow. Thanks for the great feedback. I'll take a look at Murder on the Menu over the weekend.

Solid stuff
good characterisation
As usual the object - Marcia- is the last to know someone is in love with her.
georgia is good back up
But its interesting that the bike wasn't spotted.
Watchlisted till I clear my shelf tonight.
Micheal O'Durcain
Murder on the Menu

Great opening chapter and I read a few chapters at random (7,12 and 17) and was impressed to see the level of writing and tension and pace are consistent. Like the pitch and story. Also the depiction of teenagers is very realistic and genuine. Happy to back!
Fabrice, Club Wars

Backed with pleasure. Well crafted and polished. The perfect thriller!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Solid stuff
good characterisation
As usual the object - Marcia- is the last to know someone is in love with her.
georgia is good back up
But its interesting that the bike wasn't spotted.
Watchlisted till I clear my shelf tonight.
Micheal O'Durcain
Murder on the Menu

Sticks and Bones

I like this. You give us a baffling and apparently motiveless murder, except that the girl is a stuck up cow whom everyone at school loathes. The attitudes of the teenagers are excellently portrayed and are all too believable. But for me, where this really comes alive is when Drake pounces on Marcia and she lightens up with her colleagues at the end of chapter four. The plot is now well underway with some new evidence and a hot romance is in prospect. I see you then give her a rookie as a replacement and that will be useful in providing her with someone to explain things to.

I’m backing this, and I’d be really grateful if you can find the time to take a look at Bokassa’s Last Apostle in return.

Hi Donna
This has all the makings of a classic crime/cop thriller. You entice us with little pieces of information and build the story up slowly. This is delightfully paced and should appeal to a wide range of people.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Oooh, I like your pitch enormously. very enticing. Your prose didn;t disappoint either. It has a cracking pace and Marcia is just a fantastic character. I couldn;t find anything to nitpick in the three chapters I read. This is slick and commercial.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Intriguing storyline followed by a sit on the edge of your seat fast and exciting read. You certainly managed to keep my interest & I was keen to keep page turning to find out what happened next. I think your book would also work well as a film and will appeal to a wide audience. Best wishes - Paula (Cuthbert: How mean is my Valley?)

This was a really exciting and fast paced read! I like your characters and the complexities between them. You've got talent as a writer and to be honest, your pitch reads just fine to me now! I've really enjoyed spending time with your book.

Missy

Wonderful tale that drags you right in and keeps you in the story. The writing is concrete with solid imagery and character details that make them real. beautiful.

'Not even a phone call from the local psychic group', Leah has vanished, but not for long. Marcia's thoughts shift from the missing girl to her own youth, the things that teenagers found to be fun or fearful, the attitude to parents, parents who don't last forever.

Nice accent, 'What do we got so far?' Less nice prospect 'Just so you know'. Marcia is a clever detective, 'Do you see what I see?' Officer Drake only sees one thing for sure, and that results in, 'either be an asshole or quit'.

A terrible death with no apparent reason is the hook that will pull the reader through. The realism of the teenagers with their façade of technological sophistication, and the police, gritty and jaundiced, aside from the driven Marcia who will be the focal point. Everything is slotting into place to make this an outstanding crime novel. A few suggestions below to perhaps tighten it, but Sticks and Bones has my backing.

Possible nits: Pitch: 'drawn into a world' x 2 - try to reword one ... 'is drawn back' rephrase as 3 x drawn. Story: The paragraphs really need breaking up, especially after each set of dialogue, e.g. after 'a lot of places to hide'. A new one before 'Leah was a popular girl' and after 'Where is Leah Jackson', etc. Shorter paragraphs are much easier to read and give a faster pace. 'in her high school ... in high school with ... worked hard in high school'.

Thank you so much for your feedback, s

For those of you who saw my post on the Forums, Shameless Plugs: I'm not asking you to back the book, unless you think you should. I seriously am trying to improve the pitch that I had, which IMHO was much worse than what is up there now. Thanks for any feedback.

Dear , I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "Tell Me True Love Stories." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "backed" your book, I will put your book on my "watchlist." Could you please take a moment to "back" my completed edited memoir version, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)

authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved."

Stcks and bones

WoW! This is a page turner. You got the suspense with the missing girl. leah and the body with half a tongue missing. You have all the facets, details, approahes neeeded to pull of a thriller murder plot. Great writing to back it up.
One hell of a a book Damned good.

Backed (previously (yesterday)
The lord of the dawn

Stcks and bones

WoW! This is a page turner. You got the suspense with the missing girl. leah and the body with half a tongue missing. You have all the facets, details, approahes neeeded to pull of a thriller murder plot. Great writing to back it up.
One hell of a a book Damned good.

Backed
The lord of the dawn

You got the gritty realism down very well, and your dialogue is believable. Interesting stortelling, best of luck!

January

in fat maybe shoves it across the desk - gives more of a sense of force - though don't know her well enough to be sure?

Pitch - If you say 'the lead officer, Johnathan Drake' you don't have to repeat the word -officer
Ch1
A member of - better to say 'from'
push it away from her across the desk - 'away from her' is redundant
Hope this helps - I work on the basis that every word has to work, or be cut - keeps the story moving.

Very nice opening chapter, especially the very beginning. I don't think, however, you need both italics and quotation marks for Teen Scene.

Welcome to the site and good luck.

Natalie

STICKS & BONES
This is a good story. Fargo is a great setting for it. Making your detective a gal is good plotting. On top of that, you have a good writing style: clear and engaging. Put all that together, this is a good read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Absolutely brilliant story. You know how to tell a good story and pull the reader along for a thrilling ride.

The murder scene was excellently executed (oops excuse the pun!!) Spot on character developement majes this an all round exciting MUST read.

Very happily shelved
Melxx

Hi Donna, this is very good writing.

I'm gripped by the story, feel attached to your characters and would have read more, if I'd had time.

Your depiction of some young people (not all, of course, by any means) and their casual verbal abusiveness is spot on.

BACKED!

Barry

Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

I'm hooked! Great job developing characters and plot line. I like the fast pacing and realistic dialogue. I can already see this as a movie. Well done. It's on by bookshelf.

DJay - Fine and Shimmering

Because of the setting and so many of the characters, this will appeal to YA, but it can easily be marketed as a thriller for adults as well, because of the predominance of Marcia's perspective.
Moody, atmospheric and well-described, the vital elements of character and dialogue are everything you could wish for. Backed. Lynn

Cracking first chapter, well done and good luck, Maggie P.

Sticks and Bones is completed. I wasn't sure if I should upload the whole thing. Is that the common practice? I'm new to this so....