The Good, the Bad and their Intentions

A smart, fresh fantasy. Impressive characters. Crisp dialogue. You have a talent for description and you use it masterfully here. Polished narrative with clever undertones. A pulsating plot. An awesome read. Backed.

KD, your first chapter is a smooth read. I particularly enjoyed the effective true-to-life dialogue.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Nice crisp dialogue and good pace. Best wishes and backed of course.


Richard

The Good the bad and thier intentions or resistance is futile. Like all those that resist despots and torturers, the advantage is always with those that have the upper hand, and the man in black seems to be the one in control.
He has at his disposal a hierarchy of obediently trained yes men, though their convictions and status are somewhat dimmed in the opening chapters. During the interrogation of Toby, Lucas Alisa it is not clearly defined what information the man in black wants. But perhaps the world has seen so much misplaced behaviour of similar proportions that the reason has become superfluous. So the intentions rule the logical roost so to speak in a new world order. But who are the victims, any ramdom group of individuals picked off the street, not wearing the uniform. By nature they are going to resist and resistance is the crime, but resistance is futile.
I can't imagine any other reason for an innocent regular bunch of normal kids should be arrested.
A great insight in a future world where intentions rule the reason.
Backed with pleasure.
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.

Prologue reads like a first chapter... and then I was on chapter seven? Hard to gain a real impression of the project on what you have here.

Hi K.D. You synopsis carries easily the reader to your first chapter. I'm not a critic, just a scriptwriter jumping into novel writing, however I can appreciate good dialogue, and yours is indeed very good, very swift, real.

Sincerely,
Jim
jack & charmian london

The dialogue is well done in that it introduces us to the characters and the plot but since there's so much of it ,I don't think so many speech tags are necessary -eg- 'Emily turned to the boys...in a mock pout. ''I wouldn't worry about her, '' she said. We know it's Emily speaking and 'she said' intrudes on the flow.
There's real menace in the bunker scene with Sergeant. I didn't expect him to get out of it so easily. There's a swash-buckling quality about him which is appealing.
A strange, ominous read. Backed. lynn

Quite nice writing! Your pitch is very good. Perhaps you would break it into paragraphs for easier reading. I have noticed that the longer the paragraph, the less likely I am to read through it to the end! Otherwise really great. BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

I do like that you started your Prologue with dialogue. It sets the pace and tone well for your story and you don't let up from there. You build your characters well, your storyline is intriguing and your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

I think you have something special developing here!
You have a very congruent opening the characters and dialogue feel right for the time and place. Think how you create the opening scenario is very good and well depicted. This has the feel of a very good book! – Good luck!

Welcome aboard, KD. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch works. The long pitch needs to be broken down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. End with a question so it compels the casual reader to turn pages. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book on the website, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

A window on the excitement of life is just what the shopper needs to gain some escape time into bookland. This work is excellent. Backed. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures) (Literary Agent Blues)

The Good, the Bad and their Intentions

K D Stileman

" It's good versus evil. Pick a side." Ha! Do the ends justify the means? I love this book.
"Honestly Rachel...spit the boy out and hurry up! We're gonna be late for school." Some interesting writing here.
The sergeant "in no way expected to survive his idiocy so unscathed." You just described a whole bunch of politicians as well as most of the superclass. I love this book!!
But, the sergeant grows on one anyway, after all, he quotes Shakespeare - "We cannot all be masters." You my friend seem to be an excellent storyteller. Coming back for another fix soon. A pleasure backing this.

Hi KD, I read chapter one and enjoyed it. At first i was a little alarmed that you began with dialogue, but as the whole first part of the chapter is dialogue, I think it works and I'd started to suss out some of the characters (Rachael, Tobias, George, Emily, James) and there views on Toby's night with Lucy. What will old Mikey think, I wonder.
Then the dark part comes with the sergeant meeting Mason and the Boss, The two sections contrast well and the final lines of the chapter are excellently written and a good hook to chapter two. Well done.
Backed.
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Hi K D, These are frightening scenarios – Ollie’s ability to show Toby the future began a puzzle of their uncertain trip. The challenge and danger of the situation and the van entrapment are well-depicted. I was confused as to the factions and how Toby figured in this but that kept me reading as the answers to the visions came soon after they began. It’s an ensnaring beginning! Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Love the beginning exchange between Rachael, George, and Toby. The scene flowed easily; your characters seemed so real, I could almost imagine you typing a transcript of an actual conversation between three young sex-driven people. The italicized part at the end was very intriguing, making for a great end-of-chapter hook. I found you by chance and read your pitch, and I was immediately hooked. Your title definitely pulled me in. Great job!

Courtney
Runeswept

THE GOOG, THE BAD AND,,,

Fabulous, imaginative and professional.

backed
THE THIRD EYE

Your writing is descritively good and the story well told, but to be honest I found starting at chapter 14 off putting. I want to know what happened previously. I always feel that the start of a book is most important, it has to grab the reader from the off set. Because what you have postedy is well written, the beginning of your book is probably the same. If it is you should perhaps think of posting it too, or instead of. Just a thought.

GOOD, BAD & THEIR INTENTIONS
I don’t understand why this book begins with Chapter Fourteen, but okay. When it does begin, the action is good and the writing style pulls a reader right into the story. I think fantasy fans will like this a lot. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Heartbeat should be one word. This has a terrific pace and grabs the reader by the scruff. Great charaterisation and the premise promises the reader an intriguing and intensive read.

Happily shelved
Melxxx
Impeding Justice

Hello K.D. I am looking forward to seeing your book cover as it is not on my site yet. Your short pitch is to the point and I like that you end with a question because human nature is to want to pick a side. The long pitch if I can make a suggestion, it gives the appearance of being too long though it is not. Maybe put some paras in it. This is the first piece that potential readers and publishers will read of your work. this is only a suggestion and a piece of advice that someone gave me and it worked. Your book is very exciting, not my normal genre but that is the great thing, to be able to give backing on a book for its quality or craft. Maybe take the opportunity to put some tags in as your book has some good words that can attract. BACKED for sure be me and BEST of luck........
.My book is of a different genre but that is the beauty of this site, I am not asking you to agree with my book, but if you could 'REVIEW' and 'COMMENT, and if you feel BACK it. I would be so happy. Again BEST OF LUCK with your book

Denise
The Letter

Facinating group of characters that swim in this adventure that flies. Really solid writing along with imagery that paints your story in the reader's mind. Wonderful./

This is a great read. So far, you have created down to earth, realistic charcters and the dialogue feels spot on! Backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

This should be ideal for your target audience but is it possible to start with some action rather than the conversation. It seems rather wordy for teenagers and the long sell promises much to come, just a thought. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Dear K D, I love that you are covering in your story the choice of good or bad - that's what my memoir is about - God loves me in spite of myself & all my bad choice. :) Thank you for broaching chioices in your story. :) God bless you. :) Your pitch & prologue are excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.
backed :)
Love, Susie :)

Good luck. This is a link to a thread on the forum explaining how the site works: http://www.authonomy.com/Forum/posts_new.aspx?threadId=57319

Charles