Earth is on Fire

You were on my WL. If this is a return read, sorry for the delay.
I thought the idea of digging up people to harvest the virus from the 1918 Flu pandemic was brilliant, abeit frightening. Enjoyed reading this. I jotted a couple of notes they may or may not have been typos.

Prologue
—Was thinking refuge from factories may have been a typo-- refuse?
— man made viruses (plural?)


2
I would consider just putting the woof in quotes --One soft, "woof," then that smile again.

"Wolf," of approval. --I get the 'L' but it makes me think of the animal not the sound.

Best Bill
Haktaw Heart

An excellent topic. We need people to be more aware of the problems. A nice way of writing.

Beth Anne,
I love how you describe things in Earth is on Fire. The reader experiences the events which unfold with Gina painting clear pictures in the mind. The reader is as unaware of what is about to happen next as Gina and their interest in the story is captured due to the suspense. I can only hope the future of planet Earth isn't nearly as grim as science fiction authors have imagined. Backed with pleasure.

Hi Beth Anne, Wel this is amuch different book then the last. A modern day Noah's ark in the sky. That being said. As usual I love your characters, th first chapter didn't feel like you. The opening paragraph is ok but then it takes on more of a report feel. I might throw it out completely start with chapter two and work the info in through the characters, but I know once you tweak it it wil be great. Good pace, great visulazation and my favorite part of your writing is your characters and their dialogue. Backed with highexpectations Patricia

Well done, Beth Anne, an interesting story -although quite a common subject - but you've worked it out in your own special way. There are quite some spelling and grammar errors (also in your pitch) so it needs some editing. Good luck with your book. Hannah

I like your plot and theme. It's based on many prophecies, no doubt. The second chapter comes alive and we get to know the warm characters. The first chapter reads more like a synopsis though. Perhaps you could write it with more 'show not tell' narrative and dialogue - maybe the characters could be discussing a newspaper story about pollution and wars and how that fits in with their religion and beliefs, or something like that. Just a suggestion. Well done. You use dialogue well throughout the narrative. All the best, Katherine - The Quizzical Wizards of Id.

Dear Beth Anne,

I want you to realize that I care about your story. There is much concern which you have here over the earth which is a beautiful place most of the time no doubt. This book matters because people all over can love it with a sense of the safety to come. There is in my judgment a kind of world out there which when shown by the right people, makes the onlooker fill with wonder.

With Love,

Billy McBride

I like your story but like Zan commented, it needs a lot of work with puntuation marks, much like the rest of us on this site. Although I am only able to read the first chapter as time would not allow me to read further, I must say if this chapter is anything to go by, then I think is has been written well, that is apart from the editing that is needed. The pace of the story flows well although it could always be made more interesting.
Oh don't worry about typos as it is a know problem even for the professional writer. Good luck with your writing career and God bless. It is of course backed by me.
Pamela 'THE OUTRAGE'

Fire In the Sky

Beth Anne Wilkins

Beth,
You asked for an opinion on your pitches. This is too long to send as a message so I decided to post it here.

I don't feel competent to comment on the substance of the pitches fully as that would demand reading the whole book and I've only had time to look at your prologue and chapter one. So, my comment will relate mostly to form.

Just a word on your title though. Don't know if you know there was a 1993 film with the exact title as yours, "Fire in the Sky" which was based on a supposed "real" encounter with an extraterrestrial (director, Robert Lieberman, written by Travis Walton). Might I humbly suggest that you change your title? I don'y know if that title would have been copyrighted, but you could check that out to be on the safe side.

On to your pitches . . .

Short pitch" - "The earth was in trouble. -----Pollution, disease, famine, crime and wars.

It was to be cleaned and renewed----10% of life would survive the night"

I think it might be best to put this in the present tense. And maybe some work on the punctuation, for instance, you need a full stop after "night." I would write it like this - "The earth is in trouble with unsolvable problems of pollution, disease, famine, crime and wars. But something is amiss and only ten percent of life will survive the night."

Long pitch:
"People were walking down a path. Gina and her dog followed. Beyond the woods was a cove of calm water where people were sitting watching the city half mile away. Behind her she saw a man with a black dog. No one spoke.

Then she saw the fire light up the city. The man and his dog started to swim up the river to the side of the cove, motioning her to follow. Others swam, even small children. They knew to hide. They were being dirrected to a cavern behind a waterfall.

The polar bears were drowning or were they? The dolphins jumping as sea animals were sucked under water. Land animals were being lead to land caverns.

The sky was on fire and the hurricaines' whipped tornados into fire balls all around the earth. The evil and polution was being distroyed as the earth renewed. Watchers angels were in control. This was their job. Many planets had gone through this before.

Ten percent of the population of people and animals would survive this night. Saved if they were worthy. They would be the new population of the earth."

Again Beth, I would put this in the present tense. Also, hurricane is spelt incorrectly (you use "ain"); and you have "the evil and pollution was" - should be "were"; pollution is spelt incorrectly - you have one "l" - should be "ll". Your tags seem okay - however, since you've ticked the romance tag, I felt you should give a hint of that in the long pitch which would make your blurb appeal to a wider audience.

Your prologue and first chapter reflect the content of the pitches and give a sense of hopelessness for the earth's as well as mankind's survival. The Biblical undertones, especially the book of Revelation, come to the fore. I think you could expand on the first chapter and maybe introduce one of your characters from early on so it becomes more personal to the reader, instead of reading too much like a report. Good plot, and I look forward to seeing your characters in action when I have a bit more time to spare.

All the best with this Beth. You certainly are prolific.

For adult fiction I find this a bit simplistic in style and content...quite a lot of basic editing is also needed.
Good luck
Stewart

Fascinating! I think this is a timely book, since you're dealing with eco crises and the like. It's something people can read and relate to now. And not put down! I'm intrigued by what is happening. Very nice job!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

I like this story, b'cos most of the time i pay by d minute to hav acess 2 b online, i would rather browse tru and close d page. But here is a story worth spending time on. You are a great writer and i guess i will meet u on the book shelves. Keep writing, d editors will do thier work.

I like this story, b'cos most of the time i pay by d minute to hav acess 2 b online, i would rather browse tru and close d page. But here is a story worth spending time on. You are a great writer and i guess i will meet u on the book shelves. Keep writing, d editors will do thier work.

The work is interesting in terms of the world situation. A suggestion is to move the tense (in some places) from what my old English teacher called "past perfect" one level of tense into the future, into, "past tense." The omission of "had" moves the material into the past tense easily. Thanks for mentioning the work. It's really good. Backed. Chuck

FIRE IN THE SKY
Dear Beth,
I feel I've seen this somewhere before? Surreal, futuristic and eco warrior - like. Nice plot and individual writing - some grammar work needs attention - speling and one or two sentences read a little odd. Happy you have placed this second book on here. Well done.
Faith
The Assassins Village

This is wonderful. A futuristic Noah's Ark where only the deserving are chosen to survive. There is huge potential here and you have handled it brilliantly, well done.
Just be aware of spelling mistakes in the pitch,' drownding' should be 'Drowning' and 'Huracainnes' should be 'Hurricanes'. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

This is a scary look into the future. A well thought out plot ,with vivid descriptive writing. Great to see another of your wonderful books on the site. Good luck with it. Backed. Eunice.

Dear Beth Anne, I love your futuristic story :) - what if all this really happened & we only knew our 1st names? :) What a marvelous story you have written!! :) Your pitch made me think something weird was going to happen. :) Then, in the prologue, I wondered why only at night? :) Then, the trip swimming down river. :) What an imaginative mind you have! :) I love it!! :) Of course, it would be totally awful if it actually happened. :) Hope you write a million books. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. we've already backed each other's book :) - thanks :)

:) comment to follow - read & commented on 1 hour later :)