Achor

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created most memorable main characters in Jack and Dr. Hamilton. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

An intriguing journey filled with surprises. Well-crafted characters with real emotions. Excellent dialogue and narrative. Inventive storyline. Lucid writing. A stirring read. Backed.

i'm drawn in! great pitch. good story.
shalom,
j

Dear J.H.
Yes i know I have backed and gone to the trouble of commenting. But wanted to let you know I have finished my read. GOOD BOOK. and well worth the extra trouble it is taking to say so again. Rise well J.H.
Denise
The Letter

Dear J.H.
Yes i know I have backed and gone to the trouble of commenting. But wanted to let you know I have finished my read. GOOD BOOK. and well worth the extra trouble it is taking to say so again. Rise well J.H.
Denise
The Letter

Dear J. H., I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already backed your 2 books, I will put your book on my watchlist. Could you please take a moment to back my completed unedited memoir version, "Tell Me True Love Stories?" I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
Here is the response I received from authonomy concerning backing:
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved."

Hello, I just wanted to thank everyone who has read my book. I especially want to thank those who left comments.
Even though I am not on this site very much (for which I apologize), I carefully consider all comments recieved and try to apply the needed changes noticed by keener eyes. I truly do appreciate all of your comments of contructive criticism--I know I need help and welcome all I can recieve.
I have updated and fixed the mistakes and typos I was able to detect. If you find any, please feel free to point them out to me.
I thank you all again for your comments, consideration, and most importantly, your time.
If you enjoyed this book, be ready: for I will upload another book, only it is not related to archaeology, but to a terrible crime that claims to be an awaited event.

Welcome aboard, J.H. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch works. The long pitch needs to be broken down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. Good that you end it with one succinct question so it compels the casual reader to turn pages. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book on the website, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Hi JH
A really great concept and some nice writing. However in order to get it out there, I would change your pitch. Too much repetition of names and not enough telling us why we should read the story. As I read on, I really got into it, but found the start a little slow. Overall though, this is good stuff, just a little tweaking though could make a real difference.
DP Walker
Five Dares

I liked the choice of setting. Unusual to have an archaeological story and I was keen to read the mystery. Sad to say that for me the chapters I read, 1-4, didn't work very well. Too much navel gazing in 1, the use of 'one' in 2 seems pompous and archaic, the dialogue in 3 needs a lot of work and there are typos, eg full stops where there should be commas. Later on, you may well get to the mystery which attracts the reader in the pitch. Hope so.
Your longer pitch reads like a synopsis and I think you could make it more attention grabbing.
I have backed this because of its novelty, and in hope that you will rewrite the first chapters and throw us into the heart of the problems and dilemmas.
Lara
Good for Him

You take a three chapters before we reach something that would hold my attention. Before this I was really forcing myself to keep reading. The concept is interesting yet I think you really need to rethink the the start of this tale and add some sort of hook to grab at the reader. I also noticed that once or twice you have one person speakig and then another on the same line. This can be confusing and you should always seperate two speakers by stating a new paragraph when it move from one charater speak to another. I hope you the best with this.

Hi JH, you've written something original here and with a good MC too in Jack. It was a little slow reaching the action, which is when the story really starts to kick-off. I'd try to assimilate some of the background stuff into the narrative in dribs and drabs, if possible.
Too many 'Jack' and 'Dr. Hamilton' in your pitch.
I hope these few suggestions are useful. Please feel free to ignore if you wish, of course.
Backed as a very entertaining read with good potential.
Best wishes, Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Intrigued, biblical, Is that a clue? What has he discovered and why cover it back up? This has a real sense of dark mystery, the sort of feeling you used to get watchig Karloff in the Mummy, when you shout at the tv for the blond not to go into the dark place because she hears a noise where the serial killer is waiting, Very lush imagery and language, good direction and I can't wait to discover what's in the valley. Brilliant

Is it possible to start with some action? If we imagine scanning a book in the store which one would grab your attention? There is a lot of potential here especially reading chapters at random but is it really complete at 35, 000 words? Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is myvalley)

Hello J.H. this is a very good book and really does deserve to make it. I am sure much research went into the crafting and your characters are strong. Just a suggestion regarding the pitch as it gives the impression of being long when in fact it is not, to put some paras in. This is maybe the first thing your potential publisher will see. just paying forward something someone gave me.........My book is a different genre but this is what i love about the site, so if you could review and comment and hopefully back my book , I would be so happy. thanks and again BEST of luck with yours and BACKED by me for sure

Denise
The Letter

Hi, such a great read, you deserve to get on. Flows well with great characters.
I'm Happy to back it. SHELVED.

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest)

Hi, such a great read, you deserve to get on. Flows well with great characters.
I'm Happy to back it. SHELVED.

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest)

This has a very intriguing premise and I enjoyed what I read (chapter 1 to 5, 31 to 35) It takes a while to get going but the characters are nicely developed so that we start to care about them. Initially I found the 'voice' remote, 'the 'writer' does not touch the reader's emotion. We need to want to read on and need enticing a little more. Just a thought.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

Move over Dan Brown! Wow you certainly have a talent for drawing thereader right straight into the story proper! Backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

Excellent work. The pitch of this really grabbed me, and the writing's very strong, bar the occasional little error. We're carried along with the taut mystery, and you cultivate an air of knowledgeable suspense with ease.

Backed with pleasure!

Abi xxx

Terrific pitches drew me to your fine writing. I'm reading a book at the moment about an archeologist so found that aspect of it very intriguing.

Still needs a little editing here and there but as I always say if the foundations are good the walls and roof will soon follow.

Melxx
Impeding Justice

ACHOR
This is a good story. Jack is a good main character. The archeology background is intriguing. If I had a suggestion it would be to cut down all the planning described here and get to the dig sooner as that’s really the meat of the story. What makes this a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Your pitch worked. It drew me in. I have backed you, but I won't have time for more than a quick perusal until tomorrow. i will give feedback then. Please take a look at Seka and leave a comment.
Sharon Cooper
Seka

Backed on the strength of your pitch, will return with further comments once I have read the first chapter.
Helen

Good luck. This is a link to a thread on the forum explaining how the site works: http://www.authonomy.com/Forum/posts_new.aspx?threadId=57319

Charles

Dear J.H., I love that your story is based on a Biblical event - wonderful job. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.
backed :)
Love, Susie :)