Finding Little Big Foot

I read your first chapter. Nice setting of the stage. I look forward to where this is going to go. My favorite line was, 'I got cows waiting for milking." I can just picture the man saying this. Good job and I look forward to reading more! 5 stars!

Best,

Ashley

Hi, this is nice easy read and mostly well-written. Unfortunately, time prevents me from reading more than the first two chapters.

One technical point - you use the same kind of quotation marks as speech marks and everything else. Use one kind for speech only. In other words if you use double quotation marks as speech marks, use single ones for everything else.

You hav a minot typo in chapter two where building should be buildings.

Ron

Hello D,
First, let me thank you for backing my book. I'm not sure when it happened, but I just found your name on the list of bookshelves Winding Road occupies and followed it to your wonderful manuscript. I've only read 4 chapters, but I already feel like I know Rev. Dee Anna personally. You have such a gentle, flowing style that it's easy to slide right into your story. My bookshelf is full right now, but at the end of the month a couple of spaces will open up, and I will back Finding Little Big Foot. In the meantime, I will put it on my watchlist and give it a good star rating. Best of luck.
Blessings,
Linda Brendle
A Long and Winding Road, RVing with Mom and Dad

You are narrating a story related with female outlooks. No doubt, the feeble at the same time became more stronger, these two stages of female mind is beautifully narrating in your novel. *** rated

My dad was a pastor- and his church was a rural church. Your scene where you first see the parsonage made me laugh- reminded me of my dad's first parsonage. The church ladies had cleaned it really well, but by the time dad arrived that first night, there was a dead mouse on thekitchen floor.

Your writing is descriptive and interesting. I'm backing this with pleasure!

Best,
Cori
"Princess"

Beautiful evocative writing and great characterisation, this feels like a published novel. Reminds me of semi-literary women's fiction like Ann Tyler and Anita Shreve. Fabulous. Backed.
Shalini x

One small discrepancy: she drove down main street 'wishing she had more time to take note of her surroundings', But then she goes on to detail her surroundings.

I'm from the South ...also known as the Bible Belt...so this story sounds like a familiar thing in these parts (Depending on the church). Nevertheless, great work!
interesting storyline... Support my book Dani the Earth Angel

Thanks
Natasha

Didn't read much but what I did read was superbly written. A thoroughly engaging story worth returning for more. Backed. Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid

Love this story and can't wait to read the new chapters.

I know in the first sentence if I am going to read the rest of the chapter. And I know by that first chapter if I want to invest my money to read the rest of it. I would buy this book.
Best of luck to you,
Sharon Van Orman
Eve, an Eden's Exiles novel

It sure is an odd name for a town, and we've all had interviews for hell. Nicely done.

Suz

Well written with great descriptive qualities. A nice, easy flow to your writing. Backed with pleasure. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

I always enjoy Christian books. This should be read by all women in the clergy, and the men too.
Tom Balderston
The Wonder of Terra

It looks like Dee Anna was off to a good start: late for her interview and a needing a freshening up. "I've got cows waiting for milking." That's a nice hook that makes the reader wanting to turn the page. The second chapter shows that she got the interview, but it appears she's very, very hesitant to take the job offered by Crew Cut Man, Ted Turner Boy, and Indian Chief. When I get a little more time, I'll read some more. It's an interesting take on life in a very small Midwestern town. Backed for now.

'It's like a swamp in these woods' = seems unnecessary
main...main/street...street/town...town etc
A very simple tale so far, well organised and generally well written. There are some language issues to be resolved but nothing too serious. Wish you luck
Stewart

Joining the Pentecostal church as Little Big Foots first women Pastor was hard enough for Dee Anna, especially after the first introduction to the church deacons. But she miss's the Eastside church in Madison, and wonders why God has chosen this path for her.
Struggling with her own self doubts in a turmoil about faith, can she overcome and find true convictions and a sense of belonging. Perhaps the congregation won't be as bad as the first impression.
Nice to sample a church service in descriptive form, I almost felt I was present.
Backed with pleasure
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.

This certainly did bring back some vivid memories from my earlier days in candidating at churches. I enjoyed your descriptions and your easy to read writing style. Best of luck with this as your continue in your writing. I backed this with pleasure. I hope you can find the time to read and comment on my book, December Gold which is a Christian historical Christian novel.

this is writing where I can finally say that I will finish reading. I just stumbled across you and loved your pitch. I'm heavily into my church like your character, and I cannot wait to finish reading....honestly.

You do not have to back my book, or comment or anything. I simply love what you have written thus far...and I will keep you informed of my feelings...

I love where you say, 'asking the right question can be more important than having the right answers.'

P.S. to JG. Maybe the word "scent" would have been more effective than searching for the word "smell." . She smells pine trees and wonders why she smells woodsmoke in church. There is a humid haze, garish streetlights, a humming fridge...and so on. And I think the cause and effect of tromping on the gass pedal because one is late is so obvious that the word SO is simply supurflious. Still....thinking. :-)

really hate it when someone says nice things about one of my stories and I can’t back their work in return. It’s not that your writing skills are lacking, or that the story isn’t right for telling, though, it’s a matter of missing tools. As Mark Twain said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”

This is about things everyone knows for certain that aren’t quite as certain as we think.

The problem lies in the mission of the schools. Public schools were established for one purpose: To provide employers with a standardized skill set in prospective workers, often refered to as the three R’s: Reading, Writing, and ‘Rithmatic. But when we write for employers they want facts, not emotion. So they teach us non-fiction technique. Unfortunately, readers of fiction want emotion reaction, and, well… gossip.

With that in mind, look at your first paragraph:

• Dee Anna hated being late. She tromped on the gas pedal, finally passing the dirty red truck and horse trailer that had been slowing her down on curving roads for the last 20 minutes. She was running late for the interview with the deacons. A sick dog, a flat tire and a wrong turn had all contributed to the delay.

Four factual statements. All true. All dispassionate. None related, so far as flow. And none have context for a reader, as yet. Think for a minute of what a “so” between line one and two would do for the flow of line two. There would be a firm connection between cause and effect. And because the two things are closely related and sequential, there’s a feeling of time passing, in that she realizes that she’s late and takes action: bang, bang—decision, action.

In reality, this paragraph is you, onstage, getting ready to tell a story. But can we do that in print? Try this:

The first line of the story says, “Sally was a happy little girl.” But you’re in the theater, and with the storyteller, now. As the performer speaks the line her face is impassive, and her voice cynical. She hesitates a beat before saying “happy,” as though she wishes to use a different term. And as she finishes the line on how happy the gorl is she rolls her eyes, shrugs, and gives a little sigh. Contrast that to the same line, spoken with the storyteller leaning towaad you a bit, grinning, her voice animated. Same line. Two possible deliveries. There are many more.

Here’s your problem. The first line of my story os waiting for you to read it. It says, “Sally was a happy little girl.” How are you going to perform it? In opposition to the apparent ststement or in support of it? Which do you think I would use? And to make it harder, as a reader who just opened the book, you’re seeing the line for the first time, and don’t yet know what it’s going to say. So how can you even think about the possibilities of how to read the line until after you know what it says? But hw can you real the line, think about how it should present it, then do it again?

See the problem? You’re presenting your script to the reader and asking them to read it as you would. And that’s simply not possible unless they know both your intent and the story.

And all of that is why fiction writers had to develop a tool set that would force the reader to present the line as we intend, without knowing we’re making them do that.

It’s a bag of tricks, just like the craft of any other profession, developed over time, refined, and added to, constantly. And as part of that bag of tricks, there are ways of making the reader feel as if they’re actually on the scene and experiencing what the character is. As E. L. Doctorow said, “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader, not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”

No, we can’t make the reader feel wet, but we can come pretty close. If I talk about the beach I can’t make you feel sand between your toes, but if I talk about the smells of the beach, and the feel of the beach, and talk about the way the sun feels on your skin, I can make you recall times that you spent in alike setting, which is why we talk about scent, texture, and all the other senses as we present a scene. But how often have you used anything other then sight? I searched on the word smell and didn’t find it in the first three chapters. See the problem? It’s not what you don’t know. It’s what you don’t know you don’t know. That’s the problem.

In your life, everything you do is the result of noticing something, deciding how it relates to you, and acting on it. From waking to sleeping, it’s a chain of motivation and response. You see and sense many things, but it’s what you pay attention to that gives context and reason to act, and we all do it. But your characters don’t. You sometimes tell us the noticing. And you sometimes tell us the doing, but you almost never sequence them. Instead you give an overview, presented as an external observer sees and understands.

But that’s not the character, that’s you. So even though you’re talking about her, it’s still your point of view, not her seeing, deciding, and acting. And that’s the first thing you can fix to make a dramatic change in the feel, and readability of the story—her POV instead of yours.
- - - - - - -
The nuts and bolts of whet need to be done can be found in several places. First, look at this article:

http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/art/scene.php

It talks about how to get into your character’s POV instead of your own. And if that article makes sense (and it’s easy to understand but really hard to train yourself to use it) you want to pick up a copy of the book he suggests. It’s the best I’ve found.

If you can see where the article is going, but it’s still a bit hazy, you might want to pick up GMC: Goal, motivation and Conflict, by Debra Dixon. It’s the second best, and doesn’t go into as much detail, but it is a bit easier for a new writer to follow. Either way, learning more about the techniques and tools available is a really good idea.

Sorry the news isn’t better. I hope this helps.

Well, it gives me something to think about. I can change the first paragraph to immediately express feelings...however I am pondering the first lines of a great novel or two. Dickens "It was the best of times, it was the worst of time." (Okay, which is it. Gotta read on a bit. No feelings there) and many more. Thinking about other senses, however. There are "smells" later, but not right away. Anyhow, thanks for the suggestions. I will read with some ot that in mind.

Dee Anna is a great character - she reminds me a bit of the Vicar of Dibley - especially the dry humour. I read the first 5 chapters with pleasure. I enjoyed your writing style and am very happy to back this.
Vall
Midwyf

You have created a lovely atmospheric prose that leads the reader into the story from the first chapter. Pastor Dee Anna it seems has more than her fare share of odd-balls to deal with. I loved the analogy of a Pizza carpet. THis is well-written and deserves to succeed. Backed K.J.

D -

Finding Little Bigfoot - A church without a problem? Small chance. Reverend Dee Anna is a great character and easy to like. And it's easy to share her dislikes ... the closet door was the colour of a florescent pumpkin ... Nope, there was no way she would fit in here ...
Meaning the town of Little Bigfoot. Questions ... I like the promise of this.

Backed, Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Hi Singing Owl. Not sure if my message got to you tonight. so re-sent it, together with its backing for Finding Little big Foot. Please let me know if you got any earlier contact with me. Apologies. Jerry [paperbat adventures].

Hi Singing Owl. Not sure if my message got to you tonight. so re-sent it, together with its backing for Finding Little big Foot. Please let me know if you got any earlier contact with me. Apologies. Jerry [paperbat adventures].

Finding Little Big Foot

D. George

Backed about two weeks ago and only recently had time to read some more. Very entertaining and Dee Anna is indeed memorable. Extremely well written and compelling. Best of luck with it.

That is not a good start to the meeting. Poor Dee Anna hadn't prayed hard enough (or the men had out-prayed as well as outnumbered her). Obviously none of this helped her mood later as she recalls her interview with Portly Bald Guy, Crew Cut Man, etc. (Aren't ministers supposed to be good with names?) Neat local dialect, 'Those twenty bossies are gonna be bellerin''. Hm, offered a drive-in - there's style. And there's plenty of it around, 'The closet was the color of a florescent pumpkin'. Things are looking up with the arrival of Marla and her goodies...

This is charming: a religious novel that doesn't take itself too seriously. Dee Anna has a sense of humour to go with her convictions: 'Down the turquoise stairway, across the pizza carpet'. She's also sensitive, to both human and spiritual matters, 'aware of an indefinable change'. A lot has been required of her in the past, and now more is asked. It will be interesting to see how she copes, and where help comes from ... backed.

Possible nits: 'fresh clothes hung … need fresh clothes', reword to omit repeat - maybe more specific in one, e.g. dress / shirts and slacks? 'had said and had assured', omit 2nd 'had'. 'She swing [swung] her feet'. Later, 'she swung her feet', maybe an alternative phrasing?

(BTW I don't suppose you would enjoy my novel, But if you do decide to look, chapter 5 is as close as it gets to religious - which is not very.)

A beautifully written book and quite moving. Shelved, with pleasure.

Carol

This is a poignant story and well told without being soppy. I liked it and I didn't expect to. backed with pleasure

D., you have a very real, vulnerable yet strong-minded lady in the Rev. Dee Anna, as well as a colorful cast of parishioners - and Deacons. A veritable hotbed of a Vatican in a place called Little Big Foot.

The parsonage with its pizza carpet, let alone the Hell of the closet, makes the imagination run riot... and fade, as we imagine the stillness Dee Anna feels as she reads her Bible. I just know we'll find out more about this lady as the story progresses, and hope it won't be long before we meet her daughter... and what she has left behind, and what could make her stay in this place.

Backed for the lady in her fight to be as humble as God wishes, with my good wishes -

From Kay
(Waystation to Prosperity Street)

I shall certainly read more of this. Best regards.

The first chapter reads well. Nothing glaring to nitpick in this entertaining opening section. Good job.

Backed with pleasure.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Aww, I felt for Dee Anna, I really did. as a minister's son, I think you did a great job nailing the voice of your very human character, and I loved your effortless, witty narration.

Nice work! Backed! Looking forward to your thoughts on Head Games!

Kevin Alex Baker
Head Games

Dear D,
I don't think I've ever had QUITE that bad a start to a job interview! Close maybe! I really feel for Dee Anna. Absolutely great job capturing the rural New England point of view and old Yankee scene. I'll try to read more to see how well she acclimates.

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

I enjoyed your story very much and has been backed with pleasure.

Dawn
Sammy and the Wise Willow

Backed your book based on the pitch. It seems to be doing pretty well. Can you take a look at my book "One Spring"? Its a children's book with Christian undertones. I also wrote a book called "Crazy", but don't know if you would like that one.

Backed your book based on the pitch. IT seems to be doing pretty well. Can you take a look at my book "One Spring"? Its a children's book with Christian undertones. I also wrote a book called "Crazy", but don't know if you would like that one.

I love it. Your descriptions are so vivid and you set the scene with wit and colour. (One tiny nit in the first chapter. You say "she swing her feet" when I think you mean "swung". ) Anna is a wonderful heroine and I immediately felt I knew her and empathised with her. I intend to come back and read some more, because this is my kind of story.
Backed with pleasure,
Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

an interesting and amusing piece. written with care and skill...a real gem;- on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Dear D. George,

I have read all 28 chapters you have up and enjoyed them immensely!

You have a gift for making your characters live and your settings feel real. This genre is one I have done some reading in and there are those who are relatively inept at storytelling as a means to portray their beliefs but are published with some regularity. However, there are those who are excellent writers who have their character live their story and thus the author's beliefs are shown without any lapel-grabbing, "Are you saved?" scenes. These authors get published, too, thank God.

I believe you have a great chance of getting this published with a Christian publisher. You have such an authentic voice and you weave what must be personal experience easily with the fictional part to make an attractive whole.

If it helps you to know, I was moved to tears by the first church service in the North Woods Chapel. Very touching scene.

A couple of things to work on. There are a few usage errors and typos to catch in the later chapters. For example, in chapter 24 you called Phil "Dennis" during the talk with his mother and sister.

In chapter 27 "hospital's front law."

I was a bit bothered that in the whole first section where she is driving up to the small town and church, with all her musing and pondering of possible outcomes, you don't have her think about her daughter other than "a child" distressed for some reason. The reader doesn't know that Dee Anna has a daughter for sure, just that she has a dog who is sick. And we don't even learn Madeleine's name until much later.

This is not the way a loving mother and caring person, whether pastor or not -- would operate -- in my opinion..

I think this is a fine story and is handled deftly and authentically with great warmth and passion.

Best of success with this! I am backing it enthusiastically!!

Ancient Reader

This is a real page turner. I found I really cared about your main character and just had to read on to see what was going to happen next.

Tracy Buchanan
The Candyfloss Room

Great voice and the writing is easy to read, the character has spunk :)
Only thing I saw that needed changing was the numbers. They should be written out like this "forty-five" instead of 45 and twenty instead of 20. I wasn't expecting her to be running late for milking cows! Definitely an good set up in your first chapter, and a great pace!
xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

What a great idea for a book! I've read the first two chapters and love your writing style too! BACKED!

Have a fantastic day!

- Scott

Dear D. George,
First off, I love your cover and snappy title, which enticed me to put your book on my watchlist, and I also liked your bio and pitch. We like a number of the same books. That said, FINDING LITTLE BIG FOOT is very saleable. If your solid writing carries through as well as it has in the first few chapters, I think a pubisher would gobble this up. Your main characters is very likeable, too. I love her attitude, down-to-earth, but strong. Dee knows herself and while pious and humble, she's only going to be so polite. When one deacon said he'd take her to the drive through and buy her dinner, I chuckled at her response. This is the kind of book I'd buy to read on my daily train commute. As an aside, I'm pleased to see a book about a female pastor. I've known a couple and they tend to add a softness to a church. Best of luck with this Ms. D. George..
Caroline
KC Hart
Summer Rose

nice story and well written, backed
Fergus

Engaging and charming, most unexpected but very welcome.

Your main character is a lot like mine - a newly widowed lady pastor. Our stories are different, but I'm interested in how you treat the story. Backed!

Anne
Closeted Courage

This is a well written story. Thought provoking plot. Very believable characters and vivid scenes. Convincing dialogue. Backed.

Hi, I thought this was a really interesting piece of writing. The story flows well and the characters are well described. dialogue is generally good. I don't know much about this kind of setting but you know how to tell a very good story.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

You are able to convey emotion and have crafted believable characters and dialogue. Inspirational.
Jane