Book Jacket

 

rank 3985
word count 18472
date submitted 27.06.2010
date updated 02.08.2011
genres: Fiction, Historical Fiction, Scienc...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Mazurek

Mark Artem

Mercenaries, steppe riders, politicians, revolutionaries and children all make their way through a world shrouded in the haze of gunpowder smoke and human deceit.

 

"To stand between earth and the sky."

The Gray Landser Company considers itself the best company of mercenaries across the length of the Continent. From the fjords curled around Trauermarsch in the North to the verdant rice terraces of the Southern Principalities, one can find no better soldiers. The great fear of the Landser is the day when martial prowess will not suffice, when the world grows larger than the company's 600-strong ranks and out past the rural plains they call home.

Om Omsa Sivasu carved out a name and place for his clan and his polity with single-minded intensity. Tashikaur stands now like an urban economic flagship on the grass ocean of the Continent's central steppe, and the Om Omsa clan is at its wheel. Their cousins, the free roaming nomad tribes, dismiss them as runts, thralls to the soft Lowlanders even as resplendent trade pours into the steppe. Om Omsa spent his entire life growing his world ever larger.

With no mystical beasts or fairytale magic to help or hinder them, each man and woman faces the riptide of history with the strength of their wits, friends and family as best they can.

 
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tags

diplomacy, fantasy, military fantasy, politics, war

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25 comments

 

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lionel25 wrote 642 days ago

Mark, your first chapter is quite visual, and this is definitely a strong point. Good writing skill coupled with a good story make for an excellent read. Nothing to nitpick in this first section.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

eurodan49 wrote 667 days ago

Definitely a strong narrator’s voice, Something I enjoyed reading. Time being of essence, I only had time for 3 chapters. Well done, you’ve got my vote.

livid wrote 668 days ago

always an admirer of those that can dedicate themselves to writing historical fiction which is something I cannot do at all.

backed

andrew skaife wrote 669 days ago

Obviously either excellent research or monumental knowledge. The characterisation is outstanding and you put them in contexts both real and surreal. Excellent. Couching the fantastical in the contextualised historical was some job and I think you did it wonderfully.

BACKED

A Knight wrote 679 days ago

I've not seen this done before, and I have to say it was brilliant to see something so unique. You have created a fabulous blend of modern and fantastical military, and it lends a gripping edge to the entire piece. Characterisation is excellent, and the only typo I noticed was in your pitch "fairy tail magic", though I have to admit I was too busy being sucked in by this to notice the technicalities.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx
Relic

Niobrara Kardnova wrote 688 days ago

Fantasy that reads like a military historical novel--very convincing and absorbing. Backed.
Niobrara Kardnova (The Trouble with Wives)

Kaychristina wrote 689 days ago

Mark, you have a gritty war story that has all the elements and characters of recent wars, yet it's futuristic, even mythical, and with historical details, ranks and weaponry - all cleverly done.

The characterizations are well-written to me, and I look forward to reading more, see how Menander, Blue, Monksy, Dando et al fare. I love the "Om Omsa clan", and your premise. Shelved with best wishes -

Kay (Waystation to Prosperity Street)

klouholmes wrote 689 days ago

Hi Mark, Engaging because of the focus on Menander and Monksy during the attacks. And the writing works in the particulars, making the armor and the hill men interesting. It’s not usually my reading but I found myself involved in the retaliation of these men when it wasn’t their orders. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

soutexmex wrote 689 days ago

Welcome aboard, Mark. This website will improve your writing craft, if you allow it. I'm a bit of a pitch doctor, having read thousands of pitches in my time on this website, so I want to share my insight here with you. You have to think of your pitches as your sales tool to grab the casual reader's eyes. The short pitch does not display the main conflict. The long pitch should end with a question so it piques your casual reader's interest. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year and have the most commented book on the website, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

zan wrote 690 days ago

Mazurek

Mark Artem

Mark,
I was happy to place yours on my shelf a few days ago.
However, I am not doing in-depth or lengthy reviews anymore as a rule. If you look at my early comments on books I reviewed on the site, you will see that I used to read at least three chapters of every book reviewed, sometimes more, and write a fairly long, sometimes essay-style critique. I have been on the site for about a year now and have read many chapters from about 600 books or more. My eyesight has been affected by continuous electronic reading and with so many books on the site now and that insane pressure to constantly be reading and commenting and backing to keep arrows green, this is putting a strain on my life. I have a family with young children and resulting domestic responsibilities, career-related projects I am working on, as well as eight books on Authonomy to continuously edit and refine and the present modus operandi is no longer conducive to my reading and writing extensive comments.

I DO NOT DO BLIND BACKINGS. I have backed your book ONLY AFTER reading your pitches AND first HC chapter or prologue upload. My backing means I was impressed by your piece and believe your book has potential and deserves an HC review. I hope you will pay me the courtesy of looking at mine and if you think it has potential, back it if you feel like. It’s up to you and your assessment, and of course, your conscience.

If however you leave me a comment on the Somnambulist which clearly indicates you have read it or parts of it, AND the comment is helpful and/or substantive, I will make the time and take the effort to leave you an indepth comment on yours as well.

In the meantime, I was honoured to have given your book a spin on my shelf, genuinely believe it has potential and I wish you the best in finding a publisher.
Zan

C W Bigelow wrote 692 days ago

Mark, a mixture of historical details and descriptive action - maybe you can spread some of the historical details out over a few chapters so they aren't bunched up and take away from the action, though they are well done I felt overwhelmed with info at times. I do like the characters so far and just feel like drip feeding the info will help smooth it out. Backed. CW (To Save the Sun)

Famlavan wrote 693 days ago

I found your attention to detail very engaging!
The names took a little getting used to however once I’d got over that I found this a riveting read. Just got up to the first explosion behind Tylo’s tent and I’m loving this!

sjbal wrote 694 days ago

Hi Mark,
this book has great pace and really well written dialog. I enjoyed reading every word and am more than happy to place it on my shelf.
Good luck,
James (The Lycetta Legacy).

lynn clayton wrote 694 days ago

You talk about the 'built man' firing his arrows into the trees and change next sentence into the present tense. I don't know if this is an oversight but somehow it sounds right. So there's a lesson.
Have you been in battles? I don't care how much imagination a writer has, you can usually tell when it's just that. This is not my sort of read but I can appreciate the quality of the writing. And what a surprise that Isek is a woman. I'm sure there's a wide market for this. Brilliant. Backed. Lynn

LintonWood wrote 694 days ago

Your style is gritty and contemporary and I found your ideas very interesting. I read the first chapter and liked that you jumped straight into the fray. There is a lot of information to take early on which I don't like when it's on a computer screen (I like a nice book in my hand so ball to your iPad, Apple)!

Well done and backed.

Mark Artem wrote 695 days ago

The problem with mixing historical items into futuristic novels is that the reader cannot find a time-line. 'Jezails with curved wooden stocks' date back to the early 18th century and even the powder used now would blow them apart. WW11 German troops were called Landsers and the helmets on the cover seem to fit this scenario. The writing is great and I would have read more but stumbling through things like this make it hard work. Any chance of making this clear at the start? Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)



Patrick,
Many thanks for the comments. Maybe categorizing Mazurek in SF was a bit of a mistake, it's meant to be a purely fantastical setting, hence many of the anachronisms. Roughly speaking, the time period fits closest to our own mid 17th Century -- The Thirty Years' War and the infancy of the Qing Dynasty, etc -- post-Renaissance, but pre-industrial as well.

The cavalcade of anachronistic terminology is a result of my being loathe to coin any new fabricated terminology where I can re-purpose an archaic word instead. I feel that using these old words is far less "corny" and produces the same otherworldly atmosphere. Of course, the problem is when you get clever readers who are already familiar with the terms and can notice where you took liberties! My hope is that, either way, the reader can discern what things are via context clues, but a glossary certainly is not out of the question; clarity is king after all.

The cover is a whole lot of artistic license (and more anachronism) on my part. It is not so much a one-for-one visual representation of the characters or setting of the story. I chose it more as an approximation of the "feel" I want to convey.

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 695 days ago

The problem with mixing historical items into futuristic novels is that the reader cannot find a time-line. 'Jezails with curved wooden stocks' date back to the early 18th century and even the powder used now would blow them apart. WW11 German troops were called Landsers and the helmets on the cover seem to fit this scenario. The writing is great and I would have read more but stumbling through things like this make it hard work. Any chance of making this clear at the start? Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Burgio wrote 695 days ago

MAZUREK
I like the way this story begins in the middle of a battle; really pulls in a reader from the first paragraph. Descriptions are vivid; you’ve captured both the fright and horror of war and also the acceleration that comes from being in such a setting. Makes this a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Barry Wenlock wrote 695 days ago

Hi Mark, I was confused until I remembered 'never judge a book by its cover'. Your cover suggests a Baghdad scenario but actually this is futuristic despite the fact that they fight with crossbows and hatchets. Good action and dialogue--again all very modern but with a twist.
Blue and Monksy are good characters and we are with the Gray Landsers as they head up into the cold mountains and encounter the hill men.
A very enjoyable read. backed with pleasure.
Best wishes, Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Andrew Burans wrote 695 days ago

Your predominate use of short paragraphs and crisp, realistic dialogue keeps the pace of your story flowing well. Your descriptive and imaginative writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

cutley wrote 695 days ago

Good luck. This is a link to a thread on the forum explaining how the site works: http://www.authonomy.com/Forum/posts_new.aspx?threadId=57319

Charles

Melcom wrote 695 days ago

I couldn't help feeling engaged with this right from the start.

Very polished writing and a pleasure to read and place on my shelf.
Melxx
Impeding Justice

name falied moderation wrote 696 days ago

Hello Mark, so a really good short and long pitch. One of the best I have read on this site. Your book is a well crafted easy read . You have done quite a bit of research for this I am sure and it shows. You do have a natural talent that I really wished I possessed, congrats........BACKED for sure.......I would just love you to step across to my genre and review my book, COMMENTS are so welcome, and if you see fit, BACK it.

BEST of luck with yours

Denise
The Letter

yasmin esack wrote 696 days ago

dear Mark

Mazurek is ecxiting and well written. You do a good job of providing wonderful descriptions and settings.
Good characterization

THE THIRD EYE
BACKED

SusieGulick wrote 696 days ago

Dear Mark, I love that you told us the venacular - your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) Tons of action - keeps me jumping. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."
backed :)
Love, Susie :)

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