Jenny's Rain

Kate
Anyone who has stood in the rain and watched it touch everything around them. Splashing, dripping and falling will love this book. I have put it on my watchlist and starred it. All the best for 2011. Kathryn Brookes the Whispering Wind

I like rain, gentle when I'm out in it. Stormy, when I'm inside. Glad to read how you artfully employ this in Jenny's story--just read the first couple of chapters so far. You tune us in readily to her feelings and outlook. I can tell this will unfold into worthwhile drama. I'll pop back to read more and rate as soon as I can.
Best,
John B Campbell

Kate,
It was a real pleasure to read Jenny's Rain the writing is engaging and heartfelt and I experienced with you the highs and lows of the story. You have a real talent for making the reader share your emotions and for capturing vivid imagery in an unpretentious way.
I wish you every success with your writing.
Jane

After the horror of the ice rink Jenny seems to have recoved sufficiently by the time she reach's adulthood to risk another friend in Jesse, to listen to his grand tales about Scotland. Jenny's Rain is highly moving, but not in a sentimental way, as you seem to build real characters, like reading a series of articles in a true life magazine.
You have a fine writing style however, that is consistent with the standard needed to achieve publication.
Backed with pleasure
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility

Wonderful writing; always convincing.
RT

JENNIE’S RAIN
t This is an interesting story. I think your writing style is just right for a young adult audience; anyone that age will quickly identify with Jennie and the problems that come with relationships with boys when you’re that age. Your writing style is a strength of the read as it’s clear and will be easy for young adults to follow. I’m adding this to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Hi Tammy - my sincere apology if I didn't acknowledge your comments. Thank you so much. I haven't been well for most of October and here and there right up until this week, so haven't been on the site much. I'll check out your comments and make the necessary changes. All the best for Christmas and a healthy new year. - Kate

Thank you so very much for taking the time to critique Jenny's Rain. I will certainly have a look at the comments you made. They were encouraging. The target reader group would be adult/ young adult. I wasn't targeting teens at all as the story does get into some more mature (but tactfully written) subjects. Not sure who Robby is but will go back and check Big Jer and the boys chapters. Will sort out the connection between Jer and Peggy - you made a good point. Thanks again and all the best for Christmas and the new year. - Kate

Dear Kate,
I don’t usually read romance. This is more like the stuff that my wife enjoys (I’ll make sure that she reads this too one :-)) But, I had to make an exception this time. It was the pitch. Very well written, I guess it can attract both genre-fans and non-readers equally with its strong voice and intensity.
Rain. I love the rain too. You’ll see that I’ve used it liberally in my story as well. Indeed, it brings out many different emotions. But I also know of others who abhor the rain. I find that puzzling. Maybe they’re afraid to face their inner self? Food for thought.
The first chapter is very visual and is a very good opening for such stories. It also ended very well, prompting me to turn the page.
Chapter 2 was a lot of fun. May I suggest renaming this chapter to ‘Robby, Jerry and the Gang of Boys’? The episode with Robby was absolutely hilarious and you can certainly give us a bit more of this, particularly a few snippets of his conversation with his dad.
The Jerry – Peggy angle needs to be clarified. At first, you mentioned that Big Jer was the leader and then later you said that Peggy found a sidekick in him (when it should be the other way round). Because, in the very next line, you describe her as his entourage and shadow.
I’ve read the first two chapters and believe that it’s a reasonably good story that’ll appeal to fans of this genre. The narrative, the dialogue and the entire premise makes this very suitable for teenagers and young adults, although you’ve not categorised it as such. I don’t know how the story progresses after this, but I did check out the mature content in the opening chapter of the sequel, ‘Spring Rain’. So right now, I’m a bit confused as to which age-group you’ve actually targeted. Other than that, I pretty much enjoyed the story. Well done, 6 stars!
Best regards,
AGC

Oh man. I started reading this and thought, how refreshing. A beautifully told, innocent, budding love story, Then pow! you hit me with the grief and the deep emotions of chapter three and I was heartbroken along with Jenny, a character I had only really just become aquainted with.
A moving, wonderful story. The only error I noticed was this:

he first time she gave away her heart - should be 'the'

I love this and will be back for more. definitely six stars from me.

Tammy

I like rain, gentle when I'm out in it. Stormy, when I'm inside. Glad to read how you artfully employ this in Jenny's story--just read the first couple of chapters so far. You tune us in readily to her feelings and outlook. I can tell this will unfold into worthwhile drama. I'll pop back to read more and rate as soon as I can.
Best,
John B Campbell

Kate
Anyone who has stood in the rain and watched it touch everything around them. Splashing, dripping and falling will love this book. I have put it on my watchlist and starred it. All the best for 2011. Kathryn Brookes the Whispering Wind

i really like this premise, so i am backing it again under the new system. merry Christmas!
j

Hi Benjamin,

Actually Trent was introduced much earlier. I just chose that chapter as it had a bit of a forboding edge and romance. Perhaps if you read Chapter 15 first, then it will make more sense. Thanks for your input. Kate

Ch 26 had the feel of a feel-good romantic comedy, not without tension--but with all the pop ingredients of happiness. Everything seems perfect--fantastically so--until Jen steps away from Don to use the washroom, and her past appears incarnated in Eric Trent and the question of her favorite song.

Although Don tries to reassure Jen and sweep her back into the fantasy--the reader Eric Trent is not finished. And the chapters with forebode.

I think it was wise to introduce Trent here. Makes the story more interesting.

Thanks, JB, for your lovely comment. If you find Jenny's Rain worthy, would you mind putting it on your bookshelf by backing it. I'll back your books as soon as you can get them on site. Kate

A very human tals full of passion and emotion. Excellent work Kate Buchanan

Hi Cori - thank you for your interest in Jenny's Rain. If you truly do love the rain, you will relate to Jenny and the theme of the book as the rain takes on many emotions. I have read the pitch for Princess and will have a read when able.

I'm just finishing another book on the site that caught my immediate attention, so reading it in its entirety. Heartbreaking, makes you shake your head to think how a 6 year old girl could endure what this one did and remain so focused in an unreasonably selfless way....have a read at A Breath in the Dark. I highly recommend this book. Thanks again - Kate

Kate,
I am intriqued by the first chapter. It seems like such a sweet story-- and I can't wait to get absorbed in it. I am WL'ing it until a have a spare minute to read it.

Whenever you get a chance, I would love it if you could take a look at my book, Princess. Any input and/or backing would be appreciated!

Warm regards,
Cori

Thank you so much for your encouraging comments regarding Jenny's Rain. Much of it is very real to me in my younger years, minus the death of such close friends. They did, however, fade into life somewhere, never to be seen again - it felt like they died. Gratefully, Kate

After the horror of the ice rink Jenny seems to have recoved sufficiently by the time she reach's adulthood to risk another friend in Jesse, to listen to his grand tales about Scotland. Jenny's Rain is highly moving, but not in a sentimental way, as you seem to build real characters, like reading a series of articles in a true life magazine.
You have a fine writing style however, that is consistent with the standard needed to achieve publication.
Backed with pleasure
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility

An enchanting tale, Jenny's character is easy to connect with... an absolute pleasure to read.
Best wishes and good luck getting published,Kate.
Alison Butler

Jane - thank you so much for your encouragement. Jenny's Rain has been a labour of love and will always be close to my heart. Let's keep doing what we were meant to do - write and encourage others through it. Blessings to you - Kate

Kate,
It was a real pleasure to read Jenny's Rain the writing is engaging and heartfelt and I experienced with you the highs and lows of the story. You have a real talent for making the reader share your emotions and for capturing vivid imagery in an unpretentious way.
I wish you every success with your writing.
Jane

Thank you, Becca, for your support of Jenny's Rain. A little inside information: Margaret was my sister's name (she died very suddenly four years ago - I still shake my head at the loss, so it was special to write her character and personality into bits of the story). I took Jenny and Peggy directly from our childhood at those ages. Every word in that chapter is true - just changed the names. I felt it was a perfect opening for the story of Jenny, with my passion for the rain. BTW: Becca is the name of a main character in another story I've written. Kate

I edited that first chapter as per your suggestions. Thank you. Several people commented on the exclamation marks. To me it emphasised the excitement, but I see now that they weren't necessary. That first chapter is meant to be brief and show the closeness of the sisters along with their differences (in appearance and passions). It was written to be a prologue, an intro to Jenny, not a full chapter, but had to make it chapter one for the site. Your support of Jenny's Rain is much appreciated. Kate

Love the phrase "pearls of laughter". For me, this captured the essence of childhood. And funny enough, my grandmother's name was Peggy (well, it was Margaret--everyone called her Peggy so I guess that is a nickname for Margaret?) I love the idea of this pair--Jenny and Peggy--the thinker and the doer. Promises to be a great story with a nice juxtaposition of characters!
xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Hi Nicole, Thanks for backing Jenny's Rain - much appreciated. I will look into the exclamation issue as several people have commented on that. However, seeing as how I am intimately acquainted with the whole story of Jenny's Rain, I feel that the pitch is what it is and tells as much as I want to tell. Hundreds of people have found it quite sufficient to have read the book or shown some interest in it.

Chapter One is actually a Prologue, but has to be uploaded as a chapter on this site, so isn't meant to be as long and detailed as the rest of the chapters. I intended for it to be short and sweet and not too much information - just an intro to Jenny's love for the rain.

As far as spelling goes, blonde/blond is only relevant in the French origin of the word - both spellings are quite acceptable.

Once a reader gets into the story, the will find that the relationship between Jenny and Peggy has nothing to do with the whole picture, thus the "However....in the prologue." It is meant to prompt readers to move forward and find out exactly what the story is about.

Kate

Hi Kate

A few observations:
The pitch seems a bit vague and full of gnomic pronounements without giving the reader a clear hook to make them want to read further. Quite like the Rain is... section though.
"lightning", not "lightening"
too many exclamation marks
"blonde" for girls, not "blond"
para beginning "Jenny was eight" - the whole para is "telling not showing", I'd leave it out
I'd leave out the line "This, however" etc. and go straight to "This is the story of Jenny's rain"

You have a nice clear straightforward prose style and conjure up the relationship between the two sisters and their different responses to life well in the simple opening. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

Thank you very much for your entusiastic encouragement.. I will definitely look into the exclamation issue as others have mentioned it as well. Thanks again.I'll have a look at your book in the next day or two. Kate

Consider reducing the number of exclamation marks by half. Overuse diminishes their effectiveness. Other than that, you've given us an intelligent, fascinating story. You skillfully captured my attention, and then my heart. Relatable characters. Authentic dialogue. Accomplished storytelling. Artful writing. Backed.

Hello Ann, Love the basis of your story, read a litle bit of chapter one - I'm backing it - looks like quality writing - much from experience as you noted that Jenny's Rain was from mine. Will look forward to reading more when time permits. - Kate

Hi Adelina - I love the whole theme of your story and the pitch certainly draws the reader. From one who is very much into researching my family history, I can fully appreciate the story you have set out to tell. Backed with hope that you will continue to write heart-warming stories. So pleased that you enjoyed the theme of Jenny's Rain. It is all too real as I love the rain! - Kate

Kate,
This is a very rounded novel, setting out Jenny's life, growing up, her difficulties and then romance. I like the background settings and your descriptions, taken from your first-hand experience, I'm sure.
My book, Windshadow, starts out in rain, too. I hope you have time to look at it.
Meanwhile, I'm glad to have found Jenny's Rain and I am glad to back it.
Backed,
Ann Mynard (Windshadow)

Jenny's Rain
Hi Kate, What a lovely story! Rain does have a magical quality and to link it to a child's feelings and experiences is a really good idea. I can see those children running around - in fact I am there with them. Enchanting and backed with pleasure. If you have time to look at my book, I'd be very grateful.
Best wishes,
Adelina
A Distant Family

Thanks, Patricia for your support of Jenny's Rain. Young Adult is one genre it would fit into - actually I thought I had that listed in the genres section. Must add it again. - Kate

Hi Kate,

I read the first two chapters and part of the third one. Reminds me of Westside Story because of the gang and the innocent girls. However, the characters are much younger than the kids in WS. Your novel reads well as a young adult novel and I'm not sure if this is your intended market, but one you could consider. Of course I'm early into your story and the tone might sound more adult in later chapters.

Patricia
All Saints' Day

Thanks for your support of Jenny's Rain. I consider all comments - some win out - some don't. All the best with your work. - Kate

Thanks for your support of Jenny's Rain - I've backed your book based on the fact that it sounds hilarious. Love the pitch and I read a bit of chapter one - very long. I wish you well. Kate

The story starts with an elemtn of menace, and flows from there. Has good pace. The exclamation marks are too many, and as an editor told me - who does the same, or used to - is like laughing at your own jokes. Bit harsh I thought at the time, but def had a point. FOUR BETTER FOUR WORSE

Rips a long at a good pace, was so relieved the gang were out for blood, and the friendship between the misfit and Jenny is well portrayed, as is her sense of loss. Easy to read. I found the POV not too distinct at times and perhaps focusing on that could help the flow? BWP Lonnie The Tails of Willie Gusty

Thank you very much for your encouragement. Skip the umbrella and feel the rain! - Kate

Kate,
Jenny's Rain has one of those protagonists I wish I knew. I might even fall in love, but I'll remember to bring my umbrella. The synopsis reveals an intriguing plot and this is another book I wish I could take home with me. Backed with enthusiasm.

Hi Jerry, Your actual study and work with bats, makes your story all the more appealing. It's a lovely theme for children - something out of the ordinary (bears, mice, rabbits, etc.). Good work - all the best. Backed with pleasure - hope it gets published. Thanks for your support of Jenny''s Rain. I know it's long and wondered how and where I could split it up. Will think more on that. I have a sequel as well, so might make it into 4 books instead of 2. That was seriously one of my thoughts on the whole story. Thanks for prompting me to think more about it. - Kate

Kate. A couple of books' prologues caught my attention easily tonight - yours was one of them. so I felt I must read some of it. although you say its' incomplete its a considerable length [be careful, pubs do not favour new authors who have long first tomes. any way, Plot's pace was good, as was the description. Well done. will read some more and get back to you. BACKED.
I would appreciate you looking at my childrens' book - Paperbat Adventures. Thanks
Jerry - paperbats

Kate. A couple of books' prologues caught my attention easily tonight - yours was one of them. so I felt I must read some of it. although you say its' incomplete its a considerable length [be careful, pubs do not favour new authors who have long first tomes. any way, Plot's pace was good, as was the description. Well done. will read some more and get back to you. BACKED.
I would appreciate you looking at my childrens' book - Paperbat Adventures. Thanks
Jerry - paperbats

I tried to edit my last comment but it wouldn't let me so I will just continue from here. This is well written, and Mum, God bless her, sounds just like mum, although my mum would have used a few more flowering words LOL

You have captured these charachters exceptionally well...and again, I'll be back.

I tried to edit my last comment but it wouldn't let me so I will just continue from here. This is well written, and Mum, God bless her, sounds just like mum, although my mum would have used a few more flowering words LOL

You have captured these charachters exceptionally well...and again, I'll be back.

I tried to edit my last comment but it wouldn't let me so I will just continue from here. This is well written, and Mum, God bless her, sounds just like mum, although my mum would have used a few more flowering words LOL

You have captured these charachters exceptionally well...and again, I'll be back.

Ah, I love this first chapter and will be back to read a little more.

Hi Jim, Another book worth having a look at is Milkshake by Matt Hammond - very descriptve - would make an excellent film. Brilliant writing, excellent turnaround and twists, intrigue, espionage, fabulous characterisation. I've been reading it through - almost finished and highly recommend it. - Kate Buchanan (Jenny's Rain)

Hi Jim, Thank you for backing Jenny's Rain. I have backed your book based on the pitch - excellent story, I have no doubt. - Kate

Hi Kate, enjoyed your synopsis. I'm not a critic, just a scriptwriter who enjoys and appreciates a story which is visual, real. Nice unpretentious style. :-)

sincerely,
jim
jack & charmian london

Wonderful writing; always convincing.
RT

Who loves the first chapter? I do! Jenny is a well developed character even by the end of the first chapter and Peggy, well...she is just as you intended, I imagine- a supporting role. Very nicely written. Diologue is smooth.
Carrie
The Darkwood Tales: Demouri's Defeat

I love your descriptions and the emotions your characters give off as we read. Your descriptions of the rain make me long to be out in a light rain storm. I'm gladly BACKING.

- Scott